Krisoo4lyfe

“I still say this is a Christmas movie…” Kris huffs under his breath. His bleached blonde hair is blown out of his eyes so that he can focus on the Tim Burton film playing on his laptop. He purposely ignores the quickly thrown glare of his boyfriend.

  It wasn’t even Halloween yet. It was two days before the great holiday. Kris liked Halloween a lot. He loved all of the costumes and the candy that floated around like drugs at a college party. It was a fun holiday, it was fun to go to halloween parties. And usually Kris was obliged to go to at least three different ones thrown by his friends.

  But for the first time in a very long time Kris was in a committed relationship. Kyungsoo had kind of stumbled into his life. With two left feet, a mango smoothie and a stack of paperwork, Kyungsoo hadn’t bothered to look where he was going before spilling his smoothie all over Kris’ suit and letting the important papers fall to the ground. After 15 minutes of the younger man dabbing the shirt with a wet paper towel and sobbing out apologies, somehow a date had been compromised to make up for all of it.

  That was 8 months ago and Kris’ longest relationship before Kyungsoo was one month. This was an all time record that every one of his friend’s had noticed and teased him for. Kyungsoo the sugar fairy had cast a spell on the bitter cold King and possibly melted his heart. Kris didn’t like to think so, but it was true.

  “It’s a Halloween movie.” Kyungsoo growls back and subtly shifts away from Kris’ embrace. It’s two nights before Halloween, a holiday that the couple mutually enjoys. And yet they are not happy even a tiny bit.

  Kyungsoo is an introvert. He can only take so much social interaction before he feels like he needs to hide away and recharge for a day or two. Kris had talked him into attending the first of many Halloween parties, and honestly he’d had a great time. There had been a fun costume contest, tons of cool decorations and games, not to mention the cute pumpkin cupcakes that Kyungsoo had munched on all night.

  And the candy corn. If people could be addicted to drugs and alcohol, Kyungsoo could be addicted to candy corn. A red bowl was placed at the end of the food table, and Kyungsoo, dressed as a sexy french maid, had spent a few hours stuffing his cheeks. The results had been an upset stomach and Kris constantly kissing him with lots of tongue. No regrets.

  But after the party was over and Kyungsoo was able to revel in the peace and quiet of his apartment, he didn’t’ want to go back out. All he wants to do is snuggle up on his couch with a cup of hot cocoa and watch Halloween movies for the next three days. Today he was going to go through all of the children movies: A Nightmare Before Christmas, Halloweentown, Hocus Pocus and the likes.

  Kris was not thrilled with this decision. Even though he knows Kyungsoo is introverted he wants to pull his boyfriend out to Baekhyun’s spooky haunted house party happening that very night. When he’d been rejected a terribly bitter seed planted itself and started to thrive on his ego.

  Kyungsoo told Kris to go without him, to go ahead and enjoy his stupid party. Maybe the word stupid had set it all off? Because Kris had thrown him this look before stating with defiance,

  “No. I’ll stay. Let’s watch your stupid Christmas movie.”

  So here they were.

  Kris bites the inside of his cheek. Kyungsoo’s brow is wrinkled from frowning.

  “Christmas.” Kris coughs into his hand. His boyfriend’s face snaps over to shoot daggers at him.

  “Stop it.” he orders. Can this be qualified as a fight? Because they’ve never fought before. Like not really fought. They’d squabbled over who should hang up the phone first, and how Kris shouldn’t continue to suck on Kyungsoo’s dick after he came because of how sensitive he was, but never had they fought like this.

  Kris had always been able to give Kyungsoo everything he wanted, no arguments had ever occurred over the course of their 8 month relationship.

  Which was freakishly weird, Chanyeol had snickered, and now that Kris thinks about it all yes it is indeed freakishly weird. Not a single fight over anything that one another has done. Not even when Kris got drunk and started a fight at the bar. Or when Kyungsoo decided to lie about going to see his brother when infact he went out with his friends instead.

  It was freakishly weird.

  The air is cold in between the two men, the tension is thick and heavy. Kris is honestly at his wits end. He never thought he’d be like this with Kyungsoo, but he is.

  “Christmas.” he states one last time. He knows he’s gotten under Kyungsoo’s skin, he knows he’s pushed a button. And he decided to push it one last time. It’s as if he wants the explosion to happen, like he wants all of this to self destruct. 8 months with no fights was freakishly weird and too good to be true right?

  “I said stop it! What is your problem?” he can hear the frustration in Kyungsoo’s voice. But he won’t look at him. What had made Kyungsoo so special to Kris? What had made him so unique and intriguing for Kris to stop being a fuck rabbit and settle down? He had a drawer right here in Kyungsoo’s apartment. Like he was moving in, like they were settling down. That was freakishly weird. So weird.

  “Stop being a brat Soo, I think its a stupid Christmas movie and you think its a Halloween movie. Whatever.” Kris sighs and feels his back sink into the couch and the impending doom sink into his stomach.

  “Why don’t you stop being a jerk?” Kyungsoo hisses. Kris will not look at him. He knows. And thank god Kyungsoo is too pissed to care as he rants on, “You’re mad at me because I don’t want to go to a party, like that makes sense! So now you’re just going to sit here and mope and be an asshole. No one’s stopping you from going, no one told you to stay and mope all day!”

  “No one told you to be annoying.” is Kris’ comeback. He keeps his eyes trained on the television that shows Jack Skeleton dancing with that voodoo doll chick. It’s a fucking Christmas movie for christ sake.

  Kyungsoo sniffles and really lets him have it. At the top of his lungs Kyungsoo lets all of it off his chest. It’s like Kris wanted the explosion to blow up in his face. 8 months. Finally, Kris inwardly sighs, finally.

  “Why do you always do this? Why do you think its okay to be an asshole when you don’t get your way? And then your solution is to go and drink and pick a fucking fight! You’re horrible! You always act like you care about me but you’re so fucking selfish Kris! Go to the fucking halloween party you asshole! Get out!”

  He can taste the self destruction on his tongue, it’s bitter and tangy and it weighs heavy. Now its his turn, to end this.

  “I’m selfish? How the fuck am I selfish when you’re the one who becomes a fucking hermit crab after one party? You knew I wanted to go to a bunch of these, that all my friends were throwing halloween parties and you couldn’t prepare yourself to be a good boyfriend and go with me? And you act like we didn’t talk about it, like I didn’t ask you a thousand times if you were sure you could go with me to all of them! You’re a liar! You lie about everything! How do I know that if I go to the party by myself you won’t decide to go out with your ex again or go out with your friends?”

  Kris makes the mistake of glancing over, of fixing his gaze for just a moment on Kyungsoo’s face. There are a lot of tears and cheeks pink with anger. He’s doing that cute pouty lip thing and sniffling like an infant.

  But it’s been 8 months of commitment, 8 months of the same person smiling at him when he wakes up and 8 months of sweet joy. It’s all has to be too good to be true. Kyungsoo has to be too good to be true. So it’s better to stop while you’re ahead right?

  They both glare at each other for a long second. And then one of them speaks. One of them says the final words and at the pit of his stomach Kris knows he should back track but its too late.

One. The walls in this room are white, and Kris knows that the walls of his bedroom are a calming soft blue. It’s what his mate wanted, and what he gladly had done when they moved in together.

Two. Kris has had a dream like this before, several times in fact. But there’s a new sense of joy this time around, because he knows something about this dream. He knows that when it will end…well he knows he will still feel that great sense of joy.

He’s sitting up in his bed looking around at the loft apartment he’s lived in for the last five years. It’s definitely a dream, because everything is white and in real life his mate had wanted a ton of color in their shared apartment. He’s sitting and looking and in walks the love of his life. His lover is smaller than he, shocking black hair and skin so soft and pale that sometimes Kris can’t help but nibble just a little.

Kyungsoo is waddling slowly across the loft with a cute pout on his pink lips and a hand on the small of his back. The smaller man looks like he’s struggling to breath and for a moment Kris thinks he should jump up and help. But this is a dream, and he knows that his Kyungsoo is safe probably asleep right next to him.

Dream Kyungsoo yawns cutely and stretches out his arms before rubbing his tummy and licking his lips. Kris’ throat closes when he watches Kyungsoo rub his tummy and hum to himself. Dream Kyungsoo is pregnant, very pregnant. A large belly sticks out and his little mate is reaching for a bottle of lotion to rub around his hips so he doesn’t get stretch marks. Kris smiles to himself, pride bubbling in his chest at how beautiful and radiant his mate looks carrying his children.

Dream Kyungsoo drops the bottle of lotion accidentally and huffs with a wine knowing he can’t bend over and get it. His tummy is too large and so in the way. Kris laughs at how cute he is and is thrown an annoyed glare, which quickly melts into a shy smile.

“Help me?” comes the small voice. Kris jumps up, and starts to cross over.

But he wakes up with a start, heart jumping and breath catching in his throat. His heart is racing so loudly he hears it in his ears, like his eardrums are going to explode. The walls are a soft blue, the furniture is mismatched, and the sight of Kyungsoo calms his heart immediately.

He knew he’d still be full of joy when waking. Because in the real world, Kyungsoo was still pregnant. There his lover stood, clad in boxers and a large gray shirt that Kris had let him borrow. His tummy was huge to be honest, big and full with not one but four pups. Just like in his dream Kyungsoo was glowing, absolutely radiant and Kris did not hesitate this time to get out of bed and walk over. His arms automatically circle his mate and kiss the soft neck offered to him. It’s Kyungsoo’s response now, to willfully show his neck to the Alpha wolf with a satisfied sigh. And Kris lovingly nuzzles the skin and rubs his hands over the soft tummy carrying his children. He is so proud and thankful to Kyungsoo. It’s been a long journey for him, finding a mate, staying a strong leader for his pack, living a lonely life. But now he has Kyungsoo, and soon he will have children and a family.

“G’morning.” Kyungsoo hums, turning around to kiss Kris fully on the lips, “Sleep well?”

“I dreamed about you.” is Kris’ response. He crouches down and pecks Kyungsoo’s belly button. His mate wines because the area is extra sensitive, “And I dreamed of you too little ones.” he hums and kisses the belly several more times despite his mate’s protests.

Kyungsoo has to forcefully shove Kris away and waddles toward the kitchen, hand on the small of his back to help him carry the weight of four puppies.

Kris is so thankful to Kyungsoo. He could have rejected him when he found out Kris was a wolf. He could have shunned him and never spoke to him again. And it did take a while for the accepting part, for Kyungsoo to understand and not be so afraid. But eventually it happened. And as a human it was hard and scary to take on a wolf pregnancy. He only had 9 weeks before the little ones were due.

“I love you, I love them.” Kyungsoo had sighed while staring in the mirror. At the time it had only been a week and his stomach had already started to show, “We will be fine.”

It was the 7th week in the pregnancy. Kyungsoo looks exhausted from the quick change to his body but Kris appreciates how his human has accepted this new lifestyle. A human married to a wolf, having wolf babies.

____

They met five years ago, and in an instance Kris smelled Kyunngsoo’s scent and knew. After 300 years of searching and being alone, he’d finally found his mate.

Kris had found the new place for his pack to settle down. They moved every 50 years or so, as not to get attached and to keep their identities discrete. This time around it had been a small apartment building in the middle of Seoul. It was unnoticable, it blended in like the rest and it was perfect for his pack to move into one by one and live there for another 50 years.

Kris was the last to move in, like a good leader he made sure all of his members moved in and were happy with the new accommodations. And finally it was his turn. He signed the agreement for the room and smiled at the old man who owned the building.

“I apologize, I can’t take you to your apartment. I am too old and tired.” the old man chuckled, “but my son will show you the way. Soo, show this man his place will you?”

And that was the first time they met eyes. Steady brown eyes stared at him and a heart shaped smile greeted him. And the smell…

Like sweet honey, like roses, like love. Kris had to bite his tongue to stop himself from running forward and sniffing out Kyungsoo properly.

The road from there on had been difficult. Kyungsoo was human and it was tradition that a pack leader only mate with a pure wolf. So Kris’ initial thought was to hide his affection for the human. He didn’t speak of it, tried not to think of it. Despite his keen senses hearing Kyungsoo’s lovely voice singing every night in the shower and his heart jumping every time he and the young man crossed paths, Kris kept his love for Kyungsoo a secret.

And then he’d had the dream. It was precise, it was so clear it seemed real. It was Kris waking up to Kyungsoo, pregnant with pups and smiling at him.

____

“I want cake.” Kyungsoo pouts while searching through their cabinets. The alpha hugs his mate from behind and nuzzles Kyungsoo’s soft neck before answering.

“We don’t have cake mix?”

“No!” how cute and heart broken Soo sounds, “I want it! I want cake with whipped cream and bananas and sprinkles and chocolate and caramel!” Kris hears Kyungsoo sniffle and he stops himself from laughing. He turns his lover around and kisses the pouty lips with a smile.

“I will get it for you my love. I’m sure Luhan has something, or Yixing, or anyone of my pack members. Okay? Give me a moment.” he assures his mate who visibly calms and smiles widely.

“Peaches too! Oh oh! And meat! I want medium rare meat.”

Kris knows thats the puppies talking. Kyungsoo always wants something sweet like fruit and cakes, but then at the last second he wants meat. Cooked, but not all the way. He nods and turns to go and get them. But he’s stopped by Kyungsoo’s hand pulling him back and planting a sweet kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you Scruffy!”

Ah that nickname, damn that nickname.

____

3 years had gone by quickly for Kris, and each day he’d only been able to watch Kyungsoo from a distance. The human wasn’t too kind to anyone. He didn’t let others near, he kept himself closed off.

So Kris had come up with a really dumb plan. He waited until it was time for Kyungsoo to clean the back alley of the building and then shifted into his wolf form.

His wolf was large with black fur and yellow eyes. He wanted to see if Kyungsoo would be afraid of him in this form.

To his surprise, he was completely accepted. The human had rubbed his belly, kisses his ears and called him, “Cute baby Scruffy out here by yourself! Cutie!”

Scruffy was the nickname that had been given to his wolf. And though his ego was hurt by the name for a fluffy little puppy, he accepted it. Because each night afterward Kyungsoo would look for the big black dog named Scruffy to play with him. He even tried a few times to get ‘Scruffy’ to come inside with him, probably to adopt him, but Kris would always run away when the time came. It would be super awkward for Kyungsoo to wake up next to a naked man.

He spends the next year playing Scruffy the dog and Kris the friendly neighbor. He tries his hardest to gain Kyungsoo’s trust. It takes the whole year for Kyungsoo to accept Kris as a friend.

Those fatal words, “Maybe you could come over sometime? We could watch a movie or something.” are like sparks to Kris’ dreams. Because his dreams are still filled with the image of Kyungsoo and a round belly, and Kris can almost taste the reality forming.

_____

“What does the female alpha want this time?” Luhan looks like he was sleeping, with blonde hair askew and dark circles under his eyes. But there’s no time to waste. Kris happily shoves the Beta out of the way and walks straight to the kitchen.

“He’s not a female Luhan.” Kris chuckles. On the counter of Luhan’s kitchen is a bowl of fruit. Kris snags the two peaches and the three bananas out.

“Hey! That was my breakfast!” Luhan shouts.

Kris turns and stares at his Beta, waiting for a challenge. The blonde Beta’s shoulders slump and he growls, “I’m adding it to the You Owe Me List.”

Kris finds chocolate syrup and whipped cream, as well as a box of chocolate cake mix in the cupboards. As he’s bagging it all up to take home, a wet Yixing strolls in from the bathroom in a towel. The Gamma is Kris’ third in command.

“Female alpha craving things again?” he smiles gently and swings his arms around Luhan. They share a quick kiss and Yixing playfully shakes his wet hair onto his mate. His Beta and Gamma had been together since they were old enough to choose a mate. They’d been lucky enough to always have each other.

“He’s not a female Yix.” Kris sighs.

“Whatever. He’s having the Alpha’s puppies, same thing.” Yixing shrugs.

“Thanks.” Kris shows the bag full of goodies to satisfy Kyungsoo.

“No meat?” Yixing checks.

“Shit I almost forgot.” the Alpha laughs. His Gamma jogs over to the fridge and pulls out a pack of perfectly packaged sirloin steak.

“Boneless. I had a feeling you’d need it.” The wolf smiles and hands it to the Alpha.

Yixing never ceases to amaze him, “Why aren’t you the Beta again?” he asks.

Luhan’s cry of disbelief makes them both laugh loudly.

_____

“It’s a bad idea. Horrible idea. He’s not a wolf, he’s not any type of supernatural. He’s not a freaking wolf and you want him as a mate? Nope. I don’t like it at all.” Luhan’s chest is rising and falling with heavy breath. He’d gone on a rant when Kris had finally confessed about his undying love for the landlord’s son.

“Luhan, listen there’s no way I can turn back now. I’ve tasted him under a full moon. I can’t—“

“What?! I cannot believe you tasted him already, you licked him in your wolf form without even telling me! You told me nothing and just went ahead and had a taste of some human you crave. Are you insane?! Tradition is done for a reason. Wolves shouldn’t be mating with humans. It’s monstrous, unheard of, and I will not accept it!” Luhan yells. His black claws slip out for a moment and tear five long lines into Kris’ coffee table.

“Luhan!” Kris roars back, hoping his Alpha aura will make his Beta step down. It doesn’t work, instead making Luhan’s eyes glow their brilliant yellow, sharp canines poking out.

“You will not mate with a human!” the beta roars loudly. Kris thinks this will be the moment Luhan finally attack him, but the young beta is stopped by a soft hand on his shoulder. Yixing presses soft lips to the beta’s neck. Immediately Luhan is calmed, his eyes dulling to a flat brown and his teeth no longer sharp. Yixing hugs his mate from behind and whispers loving words in his ear.

This is what Kris has always had to watch. What he’s always envied. The most loving couple in his pack had basically found each other since birth and had been attached at the hip. There’d always been an assurance for them, there’d always been a connection and a security because they’d had a mate by their side. Couldn’t Luhan see this? Kris had finally, finally after 300 years, found his one and only mate. Kris didn’t care if Kyungsoo was human or vampire or witch. He was his mate and Kris wished to have Kyungsoo by his side for eternity.

“It’s not such a bad thing Lu,” Yixing hums, “Our leader is strong, the one he chooses as a mate is surely just as equal in strength. Don’t you think?”

Luhan scowls but doesn’t speak.

“A wolf would only choose a human if he knew the human was strong, was able to give him a great litter and strong pups. Right Kris?” Yixing smiles at the leader. The joy that bubbles in Kris’ stomach cannot be stopped. If Yixing supports him, Luhan will have no choice.

“He is strong,” Kris whispers, “So strong and he has a gentle heart. He is perfect Luhan I swear it. I know he is human, but he is my mate. I knew the moment I saw him. Will you take that bond away from me?”

It’s rare in the wolf world for a beta to have so much power of the alpha. But Luhan and Kris grew up together, they were equals at one point and the best of friends. Kris values Luhan’s opinion of him, he wants acceptance from his best friend.

The beta’s eyes are hard and his fists are clenched.

“He better be able to give you more than one stupid pup. He better be accepting of this life. And he has to be fully turned after the pups are born. He has to be one of us or I won’t accept any of this. Understand?”

This was Luhan’s blessing. This was what Kris needed.

____

He opens his door and finds something very inviting.

His lovely mate is curled on the wide couch in their living room, laying on his side and snoring softly. Kris quickly puts his lover’s cravings away in the fridge and approaches the sleeping figure. With ease he slips into the crack between the couch and Kyungsoo’s body, it’s as if the space was made for him, and wraps his arms around his mate’s smaller frame.

The honey and love wafts up from Kyungsoo’s hair and causes a deep protective growl to rise from Kris’ gut to his throat.

A soft moan of discomfort reaches Kris’ ears, and sure enough Kyungsoo’s hand rub his stomach. The alpha gently places his palm where his mate’s is and feels several thumps. His children are awake and kicking. All he can do is kiss the back of Kyungsoo’s neck and rub his belly for comfort. He feels bad at times like this, when his mate is in pain and is so uncomfortable.

“Is it too late to take back my promise?” a cracked and hoarse voice groans. Kris chuckles and places a bounty of kisses to his mate’s neck.

But he’d warned Kyungsoo, he’d made it clear that this road would be hard, that his life with Kris would be difficult and possibly scary.

And his sweet Kyungsoo had looked him straight in the eye, kissed him softly and whispered tenderly, “I love you.” and it was the best of promises.

“Too late.” Kris’ lips move against Kyungsoo’s skin and the smaller man sighs, “I brought you everything you asked for though.” he adds with hope.

Kyungsoo’s eyebrows fly up, “Even the meat?”

“Of course my love.” Kris snickers.

“Well then why the hell aren’t you cooking?” comes an annoyed growl and sharp elbow to Kris’ gut. Only Kyungsoo could get away with such an assault. The Alpha sighs and hops back up, telling his mate to get up and do those exercises from the baby books. He smiles when he hears a groan of protests. His smile widens further when he looks back and sees Kyungsoo opening up the baby book and reading it studiously.

“Does this stuff even apply to me? Like these kids will be here in about two weeks. I feel like a human pregnancy books won’t give me much advice.” Kyungsoo’s brow is furrowed.

Kris shrugs as he heats up the pan on the stove, he turns and opens up the fridge to grab butter and the meat. Kyungsoo doesn’t like his meant spiced up too much, just butter.

“Oh my god!” Kyungsoo yells suddenly, and Kris almost trips over his own feet getting back into the living room. With intense speed he runs to sofa and holds his mate’s face in his palms, worry making his stomach ache.

“Am I going to produce milk?!” are the words Kyungsoo shrieks.

The Alpha clenches his jaw and resists the urge to smack the shit out of his cute precious loveable adorable mate. He almost had a fucking heart attack.

“No, Kyungsoo, you won’t.” he bites out his words and releases his hold on Kyungsoo’s precious loveable adorable face, “Only a female can do that. We’ll have to buy formula.”

His mate almost looks disappointed, “Oh…I thought I might grow boobs…does that mean my babies will be malnourished? Why can’t I…I can’t…” and Kris eyes widen because now Kyungsoo is suddenly teary eyes and whimpering like he’s about to-

“I can’t make milk for my babies?! Why?! I want to feed them properly what the heck!” Kyungsoo sobs, his whole body shaky as he cries. Kris hears the alarms ringing in his head. His mate does this at least once a day. And its always for the most oddest things. Yesterday it was because he realized tomatoes weren’t a vegetable. Today it was because he won’t grow boobs full of milk. There was only one cure of this.

Kris backs away slowly, cringing because Kyungsoo sobs harder and reaches for him, but he does so anyways and skitters back to the kitchen. The butter is melted by now and bubbling slightly. The Alpha lowers the pieces of meat onto the heat and listens to the sizzle of them cook. And then it happens.

Silence. Golden silence. The wolf peeks out and bites back a laugh at the scene of his lover sniffling and licking his lips.

It takes about ten minutes for the meat to cook just the way Kyungsoo likes. There is no waiting for it to cool, it’s plucked right out of the pan and chewed on. His mate moans softly as he swallows and goes in for another piece, his lips wet with the grease.

“Must you eat meat so sexually?” Kris jokes. His smile is disintegrated by Kyungsoo’s sharp glare.

“Don’t you mock me,” the smaller man growls and pokes Kris’ stomach with his fork, “You made me this way. You owe me everything you stupid dog!”

Kris can only nod and smile.

_____

“Are you sure? Positive?” The alpha whispered with fear making his voice shake.

It had taken a week for Kyungsoo to talk to him again. A whole agonizing week after Kris had come out and told him everything. He was a werewolf, he was madly in love with Kyungsoo and yes he was Scruffy. Needless to say Kyungsoo hadn’t taken it so well. Kris had more or less been kicked out, books and glasses being thrown at him as he ran.

And for weeks Kris had left messages for Kyungsoo, to beg for forgiveness, to ask him to reconsider, to confess his undying love for the human.

Tonight Kris had not expected a knock on his door. He did not expect to see Kyungsoo standing outside of his door, solemn stare and unwavering eyes.

“I said I want to be with you. Don’t make me repeat myself.”

The wolf had warned the human that this wasn’t just a dating thing, some casual relationship. Once a wolf found a mate that was it. Cut. The end. They would be stuck together for life. Kris wanted to love Kyungsoo for life. And he wanted babies, he was able to get Kyungsoo pregnant and Kris desperately wanted a family. It would be hard and difficult process. Things would change fast and he wanted Kyungsoo to be prepared.

“Your life is going to change drastically once you’re with me. It will never be the same. It will be hard for you and you may want to give up, you might give birth to six kids. I’ll have to turn you into a werewolf afterwards, you’ll have to become what I am.” Kris emphasizes by showing the scar on his neck. Earlier in their friendship he’d lied about it, said it was from an animal attack. But now he needs Kynungsoo to know.

And Kyungsoo smiles softly and walks forward, yanks the door open and kisses Kris tenderly,

“I love you.”

The Alpha picks up his new lover and carries him into the apartment, not letting their lips part till they fall into the bed.

“You need some color on your walls.” Kyungsoo pants while tugging off his shirt.

“We can paint it whatever you like.” Kris licks up his newfound mate’s chest and then takes off his own shirt.

“We’re naming one of them Seungsoo, after my brother.” Kyungsoo wiggles out of his pants and leans up to kiss up Kris’ bare neck.

“Whatever you want.” Kris sighs and leans down to capture Kyungsoo’s lips again.

“I love you.” Kyungsoo whispers.

“I dreamed about you.” is what Kris whispers back.

______

Seungsoo is the eldest. He’s not that bright, but he laughs a lot and likes to dance.

Jisoo is the second. He’s silly and likes to sing whenever he eats delicious food.

Eunsoo is the third. She’s as beautiful as the stars, and she loves the color blue.

Minsoo is the youngest. He’s chubby and eats like a champion, but he’s shy and takes time to warm up to strangers.

They wreak havoc on their parents, they can’t seem to sit still and they fight like pro wrestlers. Jisoo likes to take Minsoo’s food because he can, Eunsoo will cry because Seungsoo tripped her, and overall they are typical siblings.

Kris growls and separates his pups from each other, while Kyungsoo gets a wet paper towel to wipe the rice from their faces.

“When you dreamed of me,” Kyungsoo grunts and picks up Eunsoo first, wipes her face and sets her into the play bin, “is this what you pictured?”

Kris hands over Minsoo who cries and turns his head away while his cheeks are wiped. He too is placed in the play bin. Next is Jisoo, who doesn’t really cry but whines nonetheless. Seungsoo is last and puts up the biggest fight. When all of the kids are put into the play bin both parents sigh and collapse onto the floor.

Kyungsoo nudges his husband, “Answer me. You gave me this life. Is this what you dreamed of?” there’s humor in his tone. Kris smiles and rolls over, hugging his mate close. In the background Minsoo is crying, and Eunsoo throws something at the wall that cracks.

“Something like it.” Kris kisses Kyungsoo’s lips. Kyungsoo kisses back and Kris knows this is a million times better than his dreams.

_________________________________

I.

Drops collect and enlarge at the mouth of the faucet ; you watch them detach and disturb the basin of water below. Glimpses of tousled and damp hair plastered to the forehead are reflected by the mirror yet you try not to make eye contact with the splitting image of yourself. Instead, you choose to focus on the rippling effects of water and the cycle of drip drop

goes the clock. Too much time has passed.

Fists pound against the door because how long do you need to wash your face, kyungsoo? Eyes lift too quickly and the brain registers the empty holster for toothbrushes (it’s not empty but there’s one missing and everything seems off kilter). They dart in order to avoid the sudden wave—

You stare at the man reflected back. He’s you but he’s not. Lips curled into a smile, cheeks bunching up as eyes twinkle in amusement, shadowed by another man—

His name is at the tip of your tongue when you turn away and brush past your flatmate without a single apology.

For the hundredth time, you try to forget.

II.

White on white on white. The ceilings, the walls, the sheets on your bed. There’s a sense of dread and futility.

Judging from the golden splashes of sunlight, it must be midday. You roll on your side, fingers clutching the edge of the blanket, and try to block everything out again.

III.

It’s an aroma too close to home: the scent of green tea infused with jasmine. The kettle is still on the stove, whistling away, tendrils of steam wafting from the mugs of tea before you as you cup it in the palms of your hands, feeling the radiating heat. He does the same, you note from beneath the bangs, his hands engulf the porcelain entirely. He leans forward and his knuckles brush against yours — heat traps you on both sides. There’s a boyish grin on his face: all gums and teeth and beautiful.

The tea is warm in your throat, the after taste gentler than you expected.

IV.

In the midst of a hectic schedule you still manage to find time for yourself. Earphones jammed in and movie pulled up on the screen. Silence at last.

Of course someone finds you, they always do. It’s not as if you tried to hide in the first place — tucked in the shadows of the sofa.

Hey, he says as he seats himself beside you, without invitation. It falls on deaf ears because engrossed were you in the film. A wave of a hand and you normally would shoot a glare if it was anyone else.

You catch a glimpse and it’s hard to resist. You find yourself unplucking an earbud just to devote attention to him.

What are you watching? You tell him and as his lips curl so does yours.

It’s easy. It’s like breathing.

V.

The sky overhead is darker than black. There’s no silver of the moon and humans have choked out the last of the twinkling stars. You tilt back your head, trying to see beyond the glow of the streetlamp.

There’s nothing. Almost as if the galaxy itself was a mythology of sorts despite knowing otherwise.

It’s freezing. You raise your fingers to your lips, breathe out to warm them up. It’s hard.

VI.

Sparks fly and hearts soar and somewhere behind you is chuckles spilling from lips. You don’t need to see your face to know what expression you’re making. It’s the one he loves the most, the one that occasionally spurs him to tease you by threading fingers through hair and ruffling it up. It’s all teeth and lips arranged in the semblance of a heart.

You can’t see it but you take his word for it.

Wrist drawing circles as the fairy sticks begin to burn out little by little. It’s beautiful. It’s the closest thing to stars you could find (other than dragging him to the planetarium).

It’s the least you can do.

VII.

There’s a pill by the side of your bed and a glass of water. You no longer hesitate as you tilt your head back and allow the pill to slide down your throat.

They speak of a meteor shower and the possibility of catching a glimpse of it. What’s the point when there’s no one to for you to keep company into the ungodly hours of the night, hoping a miracle would happen? What’s the point of witnessing beauty that was only beautiful because of the way eyes lit up from excitement?

There is none.

You slip under the covers.

It’s easier this way.

VIII.

Memories have a habit of fading — too fast, too soon. Like a blurry photo where only the outlines are distinct but everything else is frayed at the edges. It intermixes with visions of the night, making it harder and harder to differentiate between dreams and reality.

The salt on your tongue, the fingers tracing each rib, the soft texture of lips against yours… were they all just figments of your imagination?

Bruises don’t last, neither do raised skin from digging nails into flesh. There is no evidence.

All that there is left is a playlist where you have compiled songs he’s suggested and you’ve approved of.

You cling to all the fading traces to the best of your ability.

IX.

Breath vaporizes in mid air and you don’t realize it is nearing the end of the year until strings of light are decorating trees and bringing the streets into a festive mood.

Water condenses and freezes, the white drops drawing your attention as they drift gracefully towards the Earth. It’s beautiful, as such things are meant to be. The act of falling in itself romanticized through art and films like the cherry blossoms in the spring. Except, in winter, the barren branches brush the scenery with a sorrowful touch. Then obscured by bright lights, red matched with green, and shop displays that feature a white bearded old man.

Annual events shouldn’t have such strong emotional impact, reminders shouldn’t be lurking at every corner, sorrow surmounts like the snow collecting on streets and—

what were those lyrics again?

“Tell me, Merry Merry Christmas, hi, how have you been?”

X.

You are facing the porcelain bowl of the toilet, back hunched over, with tears collecting in your eyes. You are suffocating — dying — and there’s no one left to save you.

Fingers grip at the edge as the other hand claws at your chest. It’s not a heart burn nor indigestion. It’s a remnant seeded a long time ago that you’ve refused to nip at the bud.

A crush only lasts for three months. Anything longer than that is detrimental, infatuation hankering on unrequited love. Yet if those stages have names then what is this?

You’ve lost count of the months (it’s more than six) and it has grown to such proportions it is beginning to choke you out.

So your lungs take the matters into their own hands, forcing out the foreign entity to the best of their ability: you cough. And you cough and you cough and you cough until what surrounds you are soft red petals — mocking the symbol of love itself. Too small to be a rose petal. The tips are feathered and the stem white, no veins crisscrossing.

The last one flutters out and lands gently on the palm of your opened hand.

You are dying from unrequited love like Narcissus bent over his own reflection. You are pining away. A laugh escapes your lips. You never asked for this. You never asked to die for him… not in this way at least.

There are no petals of red. Only a splitting headache and an aching heart when you wake. Probably shouldn’t have looked through all that fanart yesterday. Probably shouldn’t have had one too many drinks last night.

If you remember correctly, the petals of red are that of carnations. How fitting, you think as a chuckle escapes from your lips, my heart aches for you.

Sometimes you’re not sure if you’re in love with him or in love with the idea of him.

XI.

Although there are variations, this is the most common. He’s standing there and doing nothing more than that. Today he’s wearing a blue hoodie and a pair of black jeans. Thank god isn’t the god bless America flag based one (in which, you would have at least expected him to try to find one with red and white and maple leaves or beavers).

You’ve run through the scenario a hundred times in your head and in your dreams. No longer waste them in argument or demanding answers (not that you’ve ever needed them to begin with). In one case you texted “hey” and proceeded with some comment of his recent activity. In another he’s the first to congratulate you.

There’s one that becomes the most memorable despite dreams having a tendency to slip away too fast to even remember the tail end.

Ten years down the line, like one of the clichéd drama scenes, you find yourself seated next to him for a long flight to LA. Somehow the rift is easily repaired because it’s not as if you’ve suddenly stopped caring (quite the opposite). You’ve monitored everything, tracked his improvements and accomplishments, and saved them for a rainy day. Courage escaped you and bitterness built due to broken expressions and Joonmyeon’s tears. As each day passed it got harder and harder to pick up the phone and say something as simple as hello.

So you no longer linger and question. The hours provided by sleep is few and far in between so you close the distance between two bodies at an even pace (you’ve practiced and practiced your approach). There’s a look of surprise reflected in his eyes.

You raise your hand and press it against his cheek, brain not registering the warmth and failing to recognize that this is not a lucid dream. It’s not until his large hand engulfs your own that you realize it isn’t a delusion of the brain or the remnants of dreamfever.

XII.

A clock is divided into twelve sections. A zodiac consists of twelve animals or constellations depending on east or west. There are twelve months to a year and twelve Olympian gods.

It is also your favorite number.

There’s a sense of completion to it.

It is not an imaginary number nor an unobtainable one.

Shoulders brush and bump against each other in the narrow bathroom, toothpaste smearing grinning lips as eye contact is obtained through the mirror hanging before them. A harmonization of laughter detected from the kitchen as the smell of kimchi wafts through the flat. The bed creaks under the weight of two as a quiet conversation is exchanged during the late hours into the night. Silence falls like a comfortable blanket when knees press against each other and eyes are focused on the movie playing on the screen.

It’s not a routine but it happens often enough to feel like one. You fall back into this pace and he finds it comfortable enough to stay. Like the clock of the hand running it’s course — he’ll come back ; it’s a promise.

.

Yifan was born in the summer, as all Seelie court fairies are. He is born on the warmest day, when the breeze flows gently and the birds sing loudly. From the seed of sunflower which is mother held tightly and planted in the spring and took care of with all her love.

And in summer, on the hottest day when the sun was highest in the sky, the sunflower bud opened its petals to reveal a small child with golden eyes and hair, as if the sun itself had poured its rays into him. With rosy cheeks and pointed ears, with a radiant aura and too much light at the tips of his fingers for his own good, Yifan the prince of the Seelie court was born.

  Yifan has too much light at the tips of his fingers for his own good. That’s what has been said all his life. His mother, born from a pink rose, always smiled when she said this. She’d look at him with such care in her pink eyes and hold his warm hand, her thumb brushing his fingertips lightly and whisper, “Too much light and warmth in these fingers my prince.”

  Kyungsoo is born in winter, as all Ice Fae are. He is born on the coldest yet most enchanting day. When the snow blankets the forest floor, when the chill keeps the air still and when the snowflakes fall slowly as not to disturb the forest spirits. Deep at the heart of the forest a single snowflake fell and nestled itself onto an acorn and asked if this could be the start for a special Ice Fae. The acorn accepted and hid itself inside the tree. And on the coldest day, the most enchanting day, a young Ice Fae opened his blue eyes. With hair as dark as the winter night and skin as white as snow, Kyungsoo was born alone in the forest and understood that he always would be.

  The two were not supposed to ever meet. Seelie fairies do not usually wander all the way to the heart of the forest, they do not usually venture out the day before winter is to arrive, and they do not usually interrupt the cycle of nature. But Yifan has always had too much light and warmth at the tips of his fingers for his own good. He wanders to the heart of the forest with a skip in his step, he ventures away from his kingdom of sunflowers and roses with curiosity in mind, and even though he’s been lectured before he interrupts the cycle of nature.

  A rose is stuck under a rotting root of the large oak tree, bent over and wilting. With winder due the next day Yifan knows the young bud will not make it and will die. His mother had told him countless times that such little things do not matter and that nature balances itself. But Yifan fingers itch and soon he is kneeling on the muddy ground to pull the rotting root and free the pink rose from its captor.

  “Who enters this forest and dares to touch what is not his?” comes a voice like the cold steel of a blade. Yifan jumps and stumbles backward. The rumors of the forest spirits must be true. The Seelie court had passed along whispers of four spirits who protected the life of the forest. And if you were to harm it then a terrible fate would be brought upon you.

  “My apologies,” Yifan bows quickly, his cheeks warming with embarrassment, “I only wished to preserve this young rose who was trapped. I meant no harm.”

  The Seelie prince glance up, just a fraction, and he’s sure there is no creature more beautiful than the one staring at him. Kyungsoo is perched on one of the oak’s branches, blue eyes bright with annoyance and his fur coat dangling in the wind. He is the Ice Fae, winter spirit of the forest whose duty is to keep away danger and make sure every living organism stays in balance.

  Kyungsoo has only ever known the other forest spirits; Sehun the Air fae and autumn spirit, Joonmyun the water fae and spring spirit, and Chanyeol the fire fae and summer spirit. Not once in the four years of existence has he ever looked upon another being. But now he has and it feels like the rigid ice around his heart begin to thaw from Yifan’s golden eyes.

  Both are transfixed. Both know that the other is interested. Both move closer without hesitation.

  The Ice Fae’s feet do not make a sound when he lands on the forest floor, his fox coat drags behind him through the damp mud. Yifan’s bronze armor shines in the afternoon sunlight as he walks closer, his breath catching when Kyungsoo licks his lips.

  “Yifan, prince of the Seelie court.” the warm fairy bows deeply.

  “Kyungsoo, Ice Fae and winter spirit of this forest.” the forest guardian nods his head in reply.

  Kyungsoo has always had an understanding that he would always be alone, because he was born alone and in the cold and he knows nothing better. But he enjoys the warmth Yifan’s eyes give him, enjoys the sound of the other’s laugh and smile.

Yifan has too much warmth at the tips of his fingers for his own good. He’s not sure what that means, but he knows that because of it he’s met the most beautiful creature in existence.

  ~ ~ ~

  “I could stay with you during the winter, so you’re not so lonely.” the prince offers the next year, the day before winter begins.

  “You would not survive Seelie prince. And I prefer to be alone.” the Ice Fae replies quickly, not noticing how his harsh words prick at the light of Yifan’s heart.

  “Alright then,” Yifan mutters and hops down from the branch they’re both seated on, “I’ll see you again in the spring. It was good to see you again.”

  ~ ~ ~

  “Where were you in the spring? I stood in front  the oak tree and called for you but you did not answer.” Yifan pouts and his warm cheeks are bright and pink.

  “I sleep in the spring after being awake all winter.” the Ice Fae is always short with his replies.  But this time he continues and stutters over his words as he asks slowly, “D-did you wait long?”

  And because the Ice Fairy is too shy to look up from the ground, toes scrunching into the mud, he does not see the light spark in the Seelie prince’s eyes nor the illuminated smile.

  “Weeks.” Yifan replies and Kyungsoo learns that guilt is colder than the snow, “I returned for 3 weeks, every day and called for you. Are you awake in summer?”

  ~ ~ ~

  The Ice Fairy will not leave from the hollow trunk of his oak tree. He curls into the darkness and finds comfort in the dry leaves and twigs beneath him. He shall not abandon this cool and safe place, never.

  “Then how am I to speak to you?” Yifan’s voice had grown deeper, richer, like warm molasses.

  “I can still hear you.” Kyungsoo replies and glances upward, the opening to his home a few feet above lets the sunlight glide in. Not too much to annoy him, but just enough to give him the light he needs to read stories Joonmyun brings him.

  “Yes, and I can hear you. But I want to see you.” the prince explains. He’s leaning on the trunk of the oak, twirling a sunflower in his hand. He’d brought it from his kingdom as a gift. It was precious to him because it was the exact sunflower that he’d been born from. He wanted the most precious person to have it. It was like giving his heart, a part of him, to someone he trusted. It was a great deal to give away the flower that bore you in the Seelie court.

  The Ice Fairy frowns, “It is far too hot outside. Summer is not my season, the air is heavy and dry. I prefer the coolness of my tree.”  

  Yifan can feel the finality in the other’s voice. He knows that the cold being will not leave his home, he will not come out and at first the prince feels frustrated. But he shoves the emotion down as his natural warmth overcomes everything. “I’m leaving you a present then, don’t let it stay out here too long please? Don’t let it sit here until winter. I’ll be back in autumn.”

  Kyungsoo does not like the faint ache in his stomach when he hears the retreating footsteps.

  ~ ~ ~

  Kyungsoo stares at the sunflower, which stares back with equal force. The fairy is used to dead things. After all when he enters the forest he’s greeted with the rotting plants, the trees going dormant to protect themselves from the harsh cold that will begin. He knows what flowers look like, he’s seen them of course and Sehun may have offered the Ice Fairy bouquets with affection, but this flower. Never has he seen such a bright and vibrant thing that breaths. Kyungsoo is a forest spirit after all, he can feel life in this plant, inhaling from the stem and exhaling out through the yellow petals. It is a mini sun, a way of Yifan showing Kyungsoo the warmth and adoration he has for the Ice Fairy.

  He hears the prince’s footsteps from miles away, hears the humming and the light steps that dance through the trees and over the falling leaves. It is Autumn and Yifan has returned just as he promised. Kyungsoo can not stop the blush staining his cheeks and the smile erupting on his face. The sunflower is placed in his bed of leaves and he climbs out into the chilled morning.

  ~ ~ ~

  “Why do you keep returning here?” the winter spirit asks suddenly. It’s been several years now. Several years, maybe ten, of the Prince with too much warmth at the tip of his fingertips for his own good coming back the the large oak tree. He visits often in the autumn and always the day before winter. Not much happens, Kyungsoo thinks, Yifan spends a great deal of their time together talking about the Seelie court and how he’d love to bring the ice fairy there someday. Yifan talks a lot and Kyungsoo likes to listen.

  Over the years they’d always sat on the same branch together, side by side. And the ice fairy had noticed how each year they’d sat a tad closer to one another. Today he can feel the direct heat of Yifan’s arms against his and it is invigorating. Like the sun is trapped right under Yifan’s skin and it radiates such light through his eyes and great warmth through his fingertips. Fingertips that tend to touch Kyungsoo’s midnight hair often.  

  It’s been several years and the question has always been in Kyungsoo’s thoughts. And he knows the answer, deep down in the cold of his heart he knows, but he is afraid. For he has been alone all his life. He was born alone and does not understand the warmth that Yifan brings with him.

  Today is the day before winter. And again Yifan has returned in his bronze armor and golden hair. Today Kyungsoo is noticing how tall his friend has become, how handsome his features have become.

  “Do you truly not know the answer to that? Or are you seeking verification?” Yifan’s voice is deep but soft, gentle in fact.  And he’d thought there’d been a silent understanding between them. The prince was honest with his emotions, so he thought, by the way he treated Kyungsoo. He always came to see the other, he always stared at the beautiful creature with nothing but affection, and he always promised to return. He thought there’d been an understanding.

  “I seek the answer.” the ice fairy replies curt and short. His blue eyes seem to shake, his smaller body trembles and the warm prince cannot help but wrap and arm over the fairy’s shoulders and lean in.

  “I didn’t know I was looking for you in the first place, but now that I’ve found you I shall never leave you.”

  It’s not a direct answer. But it informs Kyungsoo with everything he needs to know. And he lets himself be pulled in and kissed by warm lips. His heart is thawing, he can feel the ice dripping down to his stomach and making it turn. Yifan’s fingertips have too much light in them and they trace the ice fairy’s collarbone. The shock of hot against cold makes them both shudder in delight. The prince pulls away slowly as to savor the taste of fresh snow on his tongue.

  “I will return in autumn Kyungsoo.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Yifan, for the first time does not return when he said he would.

  Kyungsoo waits at the opening in his tree. Every day of autumn he waits with anticipation, the memory of Yifan’s lips still engraved in his heart. And every day as the sun sets he feels a new shard of ice forming again.

  Sehun lingers because there is no sign of the Seelie prince. He lingers and keeps the ice spirit company with shy smiles and bouquets of flowers that Kyungsoo does not want.

  He dreams of golden eyes and golden hair, of fingertips that are so warm they make his cold skin shudder in delight.

  ~ ~ ~

  “You didn’t return. You lied.” Are the first words that Kyungsoo says to Yifan when they meet again. It is the day before winter and there is so much bitterness in the ice fairy’s heart.

  “My apologies, I had important business to attend to.” Yifan explains. His guilt is already great, but looking at the wet blue eyes and the pink pouting lips he feels it tenfold. Things had gotten a bit out of hand in his kingdom. The Unseelie court had made threats, he’d had to take action and lead his Seelie troops out to the dark forest to deal with the dark fae. It had been a long and tiresome agenda to attend to.

  “The sun is setting, and winter will be here in a few hours. You should go.” Kyungsoo whispers, ready to retreat into his hollow tree. He was born alone, maybe that was the way it should always be.

  “Kyungsoo, I am deeply sorry. I wanted to see you, truly I did. But there were important matters, I am a prince I have duties and responsibilities. Please do not be cross with me, let us make these few hours count.”  

  The ice fairy wants to be angry, wants to let the Seelie fairy understand how hurt he was because each day he waited and each day he was disappointed. But the opportunity is almost gone, he has Yifan in front of him and he does not wish to feel the ache of their separation. Yifan is right. They should make the most of what little time they have left.

  “Kiss me.” is his demand.

  Yifan smiles before scooping the smaller creature into his arms and connecting their lips. A satisfied noise leaves Kyungsoo’s throat, locking his ankles around the warm waist. Yifan is everything warm, everything light. And Kyungsoo is ice that craves to be melted hot and fast.

  ~ ~ ~

  “Come again, what was it you have asked me?”

  The Seelie queen is not sure her ears heard correct, was she deceived, or was this great news true? Her sunflower son grins and repeats what he’s just said.

  “I have found the one I wish to marry.” The Seelie prince is beaming with pride.

  “The fairy you’ve been visiting in the forest all this time?” Luhan, the Seelie court’s greatest general speaks out. “The winter spirit?”

  Yifan nods, “The exact one. I am going to ask for his hand, I ask for your blessing mother.” he bows his head and places his hand over his heart. The air is sweet and calm, he knows his mother will not deny this request. For like himself, she is full of light and warmth.

  Her pink lips smile gently, “Of course my son, you have all of the courts blessings in whatever you do. Go and retrieve him, bring him home.”

  Luhan laughs happily at seeing the young prince scamper out at the speed of light.

  ~ ~ ~

The two were not supposed to ever meet. For Seelie fairies do not usually wander all the way to the heart of the forest, they do not usually venture out the day before winter is to arrive, and they do not usually interrupt the cycle of nature.

  But Yifan has always had too much light and warmth at the tips of his fingers for his own good. He remembers wandering, venturing and interrupting the cycle of nature. He remembers seeing the most beautiful, gorgeous, breathtaking creature for the first time. And he remembers falling for the ice fairy with short replies, who was shy but straight forward and who accepted his sunflower. He remembers it all, and surely he will remember this day as well.

  “It is summer Yifan.” Kyungsoo sounds annoyed and it makes the prince laugh.

  “I love you.” is the Seelie fairy’s reply. He hears a loud rustle and then two large blue eyes peek at him from the hole in the tree. They blink in surprise.

  “Yifan?” the winter spirit’s voice shakes.

  “I love you, and I hope you would honor me with your hand in marriage. Although I did not go looking for you, I found you. And my dear Kyungsoo I do not wish to ever leave you.”

  For the first time in his life Kyungsoo climbs out of his tree in during the hot dry season of summer. He is embraced in warm arms and kissed by warm lips. A warm golden ring is placed on his finger.

  Yifan was born with too much warmth in his fingertips for his own good, and he uses them each day to remind his spouse how much he loves him.