Krazykyoto

          This marks my Final Entry for the series of blogs that I shared to you readers. The year and the semester are coming to an end, a quick passage of time with a lot of things that happened. This year I made an adjustment with my life, I met new people, and I experienced new things. From the weary thoughts when I first came in this course, to now adjusted sense of realignment. I’m glad that I made it this far, because even with the smallest achievement in life we should be grateful.

          Now I am looking forward for the holidays, I time to settle for a bit and take time with our families. I am so blessed that even many challenges came this year, God did not abandon me. I wish a fruitful holiday not only for myself for as well as my colleagues who work very hard throughout the year, everyone deserved the rest.

        We are at it again! The 1st semester finals is coming. The usual scenario will once again overcome a lot of students including myself. Requirements will reign everywhere as before, and we will all be busy catching up with it. Though not the same as last exam, this time it is different, finals is more crucial so as a student we need to double our effort in studying.  A low mark in this exam will definitely lead to a failing grade, so better give everything we have.  

        I also hope that I will not have technical difficulties in any day while taking the exams because I want to finish everything on schedule because I am very much looking forward in spending the semestral break and the holidays of course! I can’t fathom that time passes really fast and now that we are nearing to end the first semester and that brings me a lot of joy. To me this is an achievement,  a sign that reminds me that I am getting better each time even with a slow pace.

              This mark the day that can be very stressful to most of the students, the examinees are not in a good mood. Everyone is unsure of what questions will be asked in the examination. Everyone makes every effort to be ready for the vital hour. I know that most of us poured their heart and soul into their study. They put forth a lot of effort to create the curriculum and make numerous adjustments. The arduous routine of all examinees is to prepare the questions, notes, and points of significant questions. Examinees read a lot of reference books in order to get good grades on their exams.

               As for me, I feel the same too; especially I realized how vital examination is when we talk about college. Nonetheless, I know to myself that I have prepared enough and that I also dedicated prayers and guidance from the Almighty to guide me through this task. I also would be rooting not only with myself but I also hope that my classmates would do their best and strive for greatness. I know this may take a while, but it is necessary and we will put our patience and perseverance to overcome this challenge. This also marks our halfway point of the first semester, I am quite happy with the progress that I am making so far.

               I know most strive to have their best performance, grades and academic excellence. I just want to share this notes not only to myself but as to everyone who can relate. I know for some grades doesn’t mean anything or doesn’t affect someone on a major scale, some also consider it as a great achievement, a boost, a reward, and many more. Nonetheless, for people who have their academic freedom and to those students who are pressured by their parents, teachers and environment alike, I just would like to share one thing. That is to remind you that whatever the outcomes of your exam I hope that you will find peace in your heart, success is sweet and rewarding but I hope you realize that a failure sometimes is inevitable, and failure doesn’t correlate with unworthiness. Remember to fight and to lose, because the only time we don’t lose, is the time that we are not progressing.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Our midterm week is fast approaching; both students and professors are hard-pressed in preparations. It is a busy week, and as for a student like me, most of us focuses on catching up activities that we might miss if there is. Mostly do studies, and I’m somehow proud that I did study somehow. I feel a bit nervous too, especially when having the thoughts of my major subjects. It is maybe because I am really afraid to fail since I already failed many times that I can’t afford to do it again. Or maybe it is because I lack the self-confidence and trust and myself. But anyways, I know that I can do it, and I know to myself that I did better than I was last year, so that thoughts keep me up. My studying strategy includes, studying at night from around 8-12 pm since that are the hours that I am comfortable with. For the case of Teachers, they are seemed to be a bit busy too, maybe with the preparations of their questionnaires and stuffs. The schedule for some stays the same, they sticked with still conducting classes, while some gave us free time to study and prepare. I hope the best for me and as well as my classmates who will be taking the exam. I hope that they may acquire the grace of knowledge and perseverance to answer their upcoming exam. This will serve a mark of our progress slowly reaching our destinations.

To end my entry I would like to share this quote:

                My First week started with a flux of emotions coming from my thoughts. I felt excited, a bit worried, a bit out place since most of my classmates already established connections within themselves. Fortunately, even I am delayed for more than a month there are still subjects that still haven’t meet the our class. It is a great help for me to somehow lessen my expected loads, giving me a bit of time to focus mainly on those presently given that I need to catch up.

                I spent most of my time to observe and weigh everything on my first week, as if I would like first to set a foundation in my experience. I observe behaviors of my classmate so that I know how to approach the, and as well as for my professors. I first noticed that most of my classmates are rowdy they love to engage in conversations, and remarkably most of us share common interests.

               Bits by bits I tried to engage myself in small talks, trying to ask question just to carefully know even some of them. Luckily, they seem very nice and even though I am new there are a few that I could freely ask if like for instance, I have my queries in a certain topic of subject. Eden, was one of the first few classmates that I approached and dependently I can rely when I need someone to ask about something about class. Now thankfully, I could now name most of them and some already I consider as friends like Dennis, who is by far the closest one.

         Did I forget to mention I was supposed to be Second Year College now? Yes that is right, as I mentioned in my first entry, I am an architecture student, but not anymore at this moment. You may be wondering why, since you are here reading another entry for my blog. You may also be wondering what course did I shifted to, don’t worry ill share it you, just hang in there.  

         First of all, I believe that no course is easy in College, most of the people say it, and I genuinely believe it. Let’s talk first about Architecture, Architecture is one of the toughest course, I can say as also being one who experienced it. Most of days we draw, and draw, and draw, it’s an endless cycle of doing plates. Most of the nights in a week are being poured to doing plates, sometimes or rather frequently we don’t sleep for a day or two. Yes it is tiring, it is tough and it’s really difficult to explain in details.

         That reality knocked me off real hard; I admit to myself that I wasn’t expecting it to be what it is. I really can’t tell what is wrong or what could’ve I have done too supplement all my shortcomings. Is it because of the pandemic? How about the deafening silence of the inevitable depleting social interactions in the four corners of my room? Is it because I am incapable, dumb and irresponsible? I honestly can’t tell you exactly why, but do you know what I am certain of? That there is no one to blame nor anything to point to rather than myself. It is what it is; it happened there is nothing I can do about it. It is too late now to think deeply and find the blame to consolidate my ego, anxiety and guilt will just consume me if I’ll stay and think the same way.  

         Is shifting to another course hard or heavy? The answer is yes, and the hardest part of it all is overthinking that everything that flashes your mind. For me during that time is I am afraid, afraid of what my parents would think that I wasted almost a year in my studies. Guilt and anxiety will definitely haunt your mind and it will be here for maybe for a long, long time. Self-doubt will reign over you and could deteriorate every light that could shine. It will be an experience that will remain a mark down deep in my soul.

         Even the process of shifting is stressful enough, thankfully I made it here in the College of Engineering but the path is steep and has a lot of frustrations and confusions. I was delayed for a couple of weeks in my first weeks in Computer which I’ll tell more details on my next entry.

              This week our College Department (Engineering Department) holds their annual Engineering Fest. All of the students are excused in their respective classes to participate through various events that are being held. The event will last for 4 days in effect and the activities are generated in order for students to showcase their various skills, glamour, intelligence, creativity and also to enjoy, participate and have fun. Though it is made through online event, they assure to have students participate and enjoy and most of the activities are centered to the talks of different online platforms like tiktok, facebook and many more.

               There are a lot of Activities, contest and games that the committee of student council has prepared but, unfortunately I wasn’t able to join any. So for a student like me, I tried to enjoy the event by being a spectator and giving my support to our candidates and colleagues that have joined. It is also great time off for academic stress and a time allocation for me to have a break and catch up activities that I must do.

               A leap from High school to College has just struck me just a few months before the classes’ starts. A delay of reaction indeed, it was a mix of diverse of emotions flowing into my mind. I was excited; I am definitely looking forward to it but at the same time it was nerve wracking.

              The only thing I prayed during that time is to be qualified to the university that I want. That is WMSU (Western Mindanao State University), that moment I think that the weight of my world relied on the entrance test. To be in or to be not will definitely impact me considerably. Luckily, with the grace of God I made it in, I am so happy. That moment my sense tells me that all my worries will wear away, or so I thought.

              Naïve, inexperienced, and fresh I took the path to the new chapter of my life. I was supposed to enroll in the college of civil engineering, but due to unforeseen unfortunate circumstances I wasn’t able to proceed on my original plan. Instead, I was admitted to College of Architecture. At first everything is fine, everyone is clueless, and there are a lot of new faces. Bit by bit, I made friends with some, most of them are very cool and we all get along really well.

               In terms of studying, I am not quite sure if this is because of the ongoing pandemic, but for me, studying is tougher taking new normal classes in college. It is nothing compared to my life when I am studying my senior years in high school. College has tons of workloads and time is lesser with any other things. It was really overwhelming and my mind and body was caught off guard, I wasn’t expecting it to be like that. The worst part is interactions are not the same; I really miss the days of having to experience long trips going to school, talking to classmates personally, the laughter and other sort of emotions that usually fills every single day.