Sacrifice an artifact: Add {C}{C}

Look I like to laugh at the horny white chicks with bad taste making poorly written erotica just like everyone else but there’s like genuine demons entrenched in the hearts of genre fiction and we gotta get those guys first.

Like yes it’s very silly that they want to fuck the crow guy that eats plastic. And her clothes are made of plastic. Extremely funny just conceptually, even funnier executed so poorly. But like Neil Gaiman is still out there. Alive.

"why do you always talk about carrying narcan with the same memey tone as ibuprofenposting? like what is this bit, what are you doing" 1. I am actively trying to make it seem like an easy, normal, and non-intimidating thing to do. which it is! a lot of people have access to naloxone but don't think to actually get any because they think they don't have a reason to need it, but if they just saw three memes about being a narcangirl then next time they see some on offer for free to the public then they might remember "wait. I'm the public. I, too, can be a narcangirl." 2. this isn't even a bit for me I am genuinely like this. me and my narcan #mynarcan

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

HOT AUTISTIC ADULTS IN YOUR AREA ARE UNSURE IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO THEM...CLICK HERE TO ESTABLISH CLEAR INTENT

this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler

not really sure how to get her out though

for those of you asking why i pushed her into the pool in the first place: i work for a duplicitous small town aquarium and i'm trying to kidnap mermaids to jump through hoops and shit to entertain tourists and make money. fucking obviously. now that i know she's actually a mosasaurus though i Have fallen in pure-hearted love with her

sorry to everyone out there who thinks they have the funniest tshirt but i think i can confidently say i just saw the actual funniest tshirt just now. i passed by a beautiful black woman with long multicolor braids blowing majestically in the beach breeze & she was wearing an oversized tshirt that said in gigantic letters "WHITE BOY OF THE YEAR"

“Even a slightly increased possibility of summoning rain is still an ability to summon rain” is such a good point

TME is bad because it groups trans men in with cis men, but what can you expect from AMABs 🙄

Every once in a while, I wish the friendship meter from the Sims was real so that way when people tell me "I used Chat-GPT" they can visually see just how much respect I just lost for them in that moment.

One time an acquaintance told me she entered Snape's star chart into chatgpt and I could physically feel that meter dropping three separate times over the course of her sentence

If one of my friends says something rancid I will say aloud to them "Sims minus minus" and it never fails to hit the mark.

the poses is what gets me every time

hello my name is indie horror story author and basically my job is to lure you in with a really creative idea and hook that gets you super excited and then right when things start to get good im gonna throw the atmosphere and my writing style out the window and start introducing liiikeee cults and government organizations and all the characters are gonna turn into like one-liner blurting action heroes who get into likeeee gunfights and car chases and stufffff and then its gonna like keep escalating until you feel like youre reading a marvel movie script plz buy my novel i started out on nosleep

it's the 'oh' that gets me every time