shh.irisu

Post blast incoming, apolocheese

"𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞, 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐞, 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫." "𝐖𝐞'𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲."

like, Im thinking theoretically her life. I dont have any exact references, this is all off of vibes and what I remembered vaguely (anyone has things to add by all means add ^^ )

Born high class, status was important, she was probably scolded if not punished for her behavior or lack of. She's socially awkward, unsure about all the unspoken rules, her family very well may have lamented that she will become nothing.

And then, somehow, for some reason, the king himself notices her. It's her one chance, her family would, for sure, tell her over and over not to mess up, to make something of herself. To do things right.

And she gets married to Karlheinz, his second bride after Cordelia, in hopes for an heir. Cordelia is mean, but it could be worse. And Beatirx ends up pregnant with Shuu. Theres a bit of pride, She's doing things right. Her son will be the first born, and thus the proper heir.

And Cordelia grows more cruel to her fellow wife, points our all her insecurities I'm sure, all the ways she could mess up, stress builds up. She needs to do things right she cannot be a failure.

She has Shuu, and then later Reiji. Cordelia still was relentless with her bullying, Cordelia needed to do things right. Shuu HAD to be the perfect heir. And so she pushed him a little harder. a little more particular to things, it was out of care. She wanted him to succeed, and, when he started to close off, to avoid him, she didn't quite understand. Or perhaps she did, but she was his mother; she knew what it was to be a failure and wouldn't let her children become as such. In trying her best to mother and guide, she was actively hurting her children.

Now Reiji, what about him? (and I realize in looking over everything this turns back to him as a focus a bit much. I apologize but Reiji is where my brain mainly lies)

I think, Beatirx knew Reiji was different. Knew he was, in some ways, like her. But she was focused on trying to make sure they didn't end up failing. She took Cordelia's abuse to heart. Times she tried to bond with Reiji, she was unsure how. He was odd. There was a barrier she couldn't figure out how to get pass, a barrier on his part and on her part, but I think, in a way, she felt more akin to Reiji than Shuu.

But Shuu had a heavy burden to be prepared for, and she pushed still, and pushed Reiji to be a support for Shuu. Reiji, as time went on, it was internalized that his own worth was now weighed by how helpful he was to Shuu. And I wonder, was he considered a second child just in case? If something was to happen to the eldest, there was a backup.

Anyways, I'm getting off topic. To Beatrix's death by Reiji's hands.

Beatrix was happy it was Reiji who killed her in the end. In that twisted sense of showing love through death, she felt Reiji was freeing her from the horrors of Cordelia's taunting and the neverending stress and fear of failure. She was proud of her son. She knew Reiji was brilliant, determined, strong-willed, and she knew that while he was in many ways like her, he would probably thrive more than her.

like, Im thinking theoretically her life. I dont have any exact references, this is all off of vibes and what I remembered vaguely (anyone has things to add by all means add ^^ )

Born high class, status was important, she was probably scolded if not punished for her behavior or lack of. She's socially awkward, unsure about all the unspoken rules, her family very well may have lamented that she will become nothing.

And then, somehow, for some reason, the king himself notices her. It's her one chance, her family would, for sure, tell her over and over not to mess up, to make something of herself. To do things right.

And she gets married to Karlheinz, his second bride after Cordelia, in hopes for an heir. Cordelia is mean, but it could be worse. And Beatirx ends up pregnant with Shuu. Theres a bit of pride, She's doing things right. Her son will be the first born, and thus the proper heir.

And Cordelia grows more cruel to her fellow wife, points our all her insecurities I'm sure, all the ways she could mess up, stress builds up. She needs to do things right she cannot be a failure.

She has Shuu, and then later Reiji. Cordelia still was relentless with her bullying, Cordelia needed to do things right. Shuu HAD to be the perfect heir. And so she pushed him a little harder. a little more particular to things, it was out of care. She wanted him to succeed, and, when he started to close off, to avoid him, she didn't quite understand. Or perhaps she did, but she was his mother; she knew what it was to be a failure and wouldn't let her children become as such. In trying her best to mother and guide, she was actively hurting her children.

Now Reiji, what about him? (and I realize in looking over everything this turns back to him as a focus a bit much. I apologize but Reiji is where my brain mainly lies)

I think, Beatirx knew Reiji was different. Knew he was, in some ways, like her. But she was focused on trying to make sure they didn't end up failing. She took Cordelia's abuse to heart. Times she tried to bond with Reiji, she was unsure how. He was odd. There was a barrier she couldn't figure out how to get pass, a barrier on his part and on her part, but I think, in a way, she felt more akin to Reiji than Shuu.

But Shuu had a heavy burden to be prepared for, and she pushed still, and pushed Reiji to be a support for Shuu. Reiji, as time went on, it was internalized that his own worth was now weighed by how helpful he was to Shuu. And I wonder, was he considered a second child just in case? If something was to happen to the eldest, there was a backup.

Anyways, I'm getting off topic. To Beatrix's death by Reiji's hands.

Beatrix was happy it was Reiji who killed her in the end. In that twisted sense of showing love through death, she felt Reiji was freeing her from the horrors of Cordelia's taunting and the neverending stress and fear of failure. She was proud of her son. She knew Reiji was brilliant, determined, strong-willed, and she knew that while he was in many ways like her, he would probably thrive more than her.

for context, Yui (the MC) passes out while caring for Reiji who is in a coma after a fatal wound. Somehow, the two meet in their dreams, and Reiji is a child in there, and he is as he often was in his youth, alone.

With total knowing, complete understanding, he explains it simply to Yui. Everyone is scared of him. They were scared of him as a child. A CHILD.

Now, I often say how he's my autistic vampire, and here it is again, because he shows it in many moments, including his youth. The other vampires are scared and unsure what to do with him this boy who stared too much, who spoke 'weirdly', who was particular and knew too much about medicine and poisons and plants. Who had little filter to his words.

A, the brilliant young Vampir he was, knew he was 'weird', and image became extremely important to him. In large part, because of his loneliness (brief mention of his mother's neglect to over burden his older brother Shuu).

Se etiquette becomes even MORE important. And we see his character, from the very beginning of the series, is particular. Part of this is genuinely hum feeling this is the proper way, and yet. This is how you act. This is how you hold yourself. He is constantly masking and presenting the ideal him in a lingering fear that he will be all alone, something that he can't take any more of.

Early in the franchise (first Drama CD perhaps?) he is shown as a dichotomy of gentleman and monster, and in a way, the gentleman is a mask, and the monster is simply an extreme, a reaction to gorcing himself into such a mould.