♡korin's journal♡

On one hand, you came back with a quarter of the harvest you were supposed to get, and you had to wait for a while until your lemon trees would bear fruit once more. That, and working with only thirteen lemons turned out to be much more difficult than you thought when it comes to baking.

And on the other hand, it was fun attempting to come up with workarounds with Ying. That, and you woke up the next morning with a new sensation that wrapped around you like a clingy lover. And it wasn't anything like the miserable pessimism you hauled around, or like the apathy that…

No, no. It was apathy. 

But a more positive kind of apathy. One that beckoned you to come to terms with many dilemmas in your mind. One of them being that winter was just... winter. A season. And like every other season, it had its ups and downs. It wasn't some omnipresent being out to get you, or whatever.

And quite frankly, this apathy was the best feeling you've ever had in a long... well, in your entire life. You woke up looking forward to the day, with a desire to actually get things going.

And that's exactly what you did.

You spent the past three months selling those plants back in your apartment at that nursery, you made friends with that lady who recommended you do such a thing, and now you were back at Yu’s house to check in on your growing orange trees. Heck, Yu’s neighbours even started greeting you whenever you came by.

They definitely saw you carrying the baskets of fruit and wanted some. Maybe you should use this wealthy neighbourhood to your advantage, you mused.

ㅤ

Ying called you earlier and mentioned discussing the state of her café with you since she had ‘more important matters to get to’. And you didn’t really mind, despite still being a mere barista, but she said she’d discuss the details by afternoon… But the location? Yeah, she promised she’d get back to you on that after she’d decided.

You moved down the short corridor, your eyes taking a moment to adjust to the strong rays that poured through the windows of the doors. The darkness around you did not help ease the pain of such a bright light. But even then, you wrapped your free hand around the handle and forced the door open, allowing the brightness to finally balance itself out.

You noticed something yellow out of the corner of your eye. And you would’ve dismissed it if you hadn’t turned to look at what it was. It was… inside the basket. There was one Meyer lemon, probably from that harvest months ago that the two of you missed. It kind of made sense that you’d forget it. You haven’t really visited this house after that day, not with the ongoing streak of snowstorms. And, you know, Ying’s persistence on keeping you safe.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the buzzing of a nearby mosquito. And immediately, you dropped the watering can and crushed the bug, instantly killing it. Now that you considered it, the one good thing about winter was the lack of annoying insects. That, and the fact it helped plants rejuvenate after a harvest, and that it kept earth’s temperature in check, and… 

No, nevermind. You didn’t want to be warming up to winter. Pun intended.

You moved back towards your growing orange trees and observed their shape for a moment. And like the row of lemon trees right behind them, they looked as otherworldly as they were. The white flowers on it looked even prettier under the sunlight’s strong glare. Much prettier than in the winter, but they both had their charm. Super photogenic.

Just as you grabbed the watering can up from the ground, your phone vibrated with an embarrassingly loud ringtone, and you pulled it out of your pocket only to discover that Ying was calling. At the worst time as well, you thought as you answered and held up the device to your ear.

ㅤ

"Hi."

ㅤ

"Y/N, I've decided!"

ㅤ

Her voice took you by surprise more than the ensemble of loud chirping birds around you.

ㅤ

"Decided?"

ㅤ

"We're going to meet up on the bridge. Do you remember it?"

ㅤ

You kept the phone held up against your ear with your shoulder, grabbing one branch and gently pushing it aside so that the water from your can could reach every crevice of the tree.

ㅤ

"The bridge...?"

ㅤ

"Yes! I was told it looks ethereal in the spring, and it truly does! Ah, and it's closer to the train station than I thought. We can use it as a landmark for when we leave. What do you think?"

ㅤ

You continued watering in silence for a moment. It looks ethereal in the spring? Who the heck told her that?

Whatever, it wasn’t your job to question everything.

ㅤ

"That can work. When do I come by?"

ㅤ

"Actually, I'm already here."

ㅤ

You immediately stopped watering.

ㅤ

"Already? Ying, the least you could've done was give me a heads up."

ㅤ

“I’m sorry, but I have something scheduled for sundown! I’ll see you there, okay? I promise you, it’ll be worth it!”

ㅤ

She closed the call before you could retort.

She was probably going to promote you or straight up just hand you the café. What with how busy she was starting to get and how much she disappeared, it wouldn’t surprise you if it turned out to be actually that. You didn’t really mind taking control of the café, now that you thought about it… Oh, but the idea of dealing with your co-workers’ minute problems sounded like pure torture.

You sighed and continued watering your plants in silence, quickening your pace so that you’d be able to make it to her in time.

ㅤ

ㅤ

It took you a while, but eventually, you made it. And the only guidance you used was the pitter patter of the children’s feet as they ran around and cackled, alongside the melodic chirping of the birds. The bus left a trail of smoke as it sped off, but this one mild inconvenience was immediately drowned out by the sight before you.

Ying was right, the place looked like paradise on Earth now that it was spring.

The waters were crystal clear, the trees were full of life and the grass on the ground vibrated with an enigmatic amount of cheerfulness. Almost like they were harmoniously swaying to a tune you couldn’t hear. Had someone taken a picture of this place, you would’ve convinced yourself it was just editing and that there was no way Earth would look like this.

But it did, you mused as you approached the bridge.

It didn’t take long for you to arrive at a comfortable spot and rest your arms on the warm railing. Thankfully, despite your short height, the railings weren’t too tall and your loose clothes allowed you maximum flexibility to peer through to catch a glimpse of the waters. Short enough for you to be able to comfortably lean on it, but not so short children could fall down.

Your eyes were firmly fixated on the lake. And for the first time in so long, you felt... content.

You still didn't know what your goal in life was. You still didn't know why you should keep going, among many other questions like that. But all you knew was that the path your life headed in... Well, you didn’t want to change anything about it.

What would tomorrow look like? You pondered with a fond smile, holding up the Meyer lemon just above the lake and allowing the sun's light to shine in on it. And it beamed. It beamed with celestial beauty unfathomable to the human mind. 

This was your harvest.

You put down the lemon with an even wider smile and stared at the lake instead, the fish that swam by. Tomorrow sounded amazing, now that you thought about it.

And you looked forward to it.

ㅤ

"Y/N?"

ㅤ

A soft voice promptly came up from behind you. You sighed and stuffed the lemon back into your pockets, before turning around to meet her gaze.

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"What took you so long? I thought you were in a hurry–"

ㅤ

The moment you locked gazes with a familiar pair of lilac eyes, your breathing hitched, and time stood still. 

It took a moment to comprehend that this person wasn’t Ying. It wasn’t Ying at all. It was… You felt your heart drop as you rapidly looked the figure up and down.

Broad shoulders, purple eyes, black hair, tall stature…

It was Yu. He stood only a few feet away from you; and he donned a meticulously designed hoodie with collars tall enough to conceal the lower portion of his face. One you had never seen before.

The words were lodged in your throat. Scratch that, no, your mind went completely blank, and the world felt like it started breaking apart.

ㅤ

“Yu…”

ㅤ

"Y/N, I..." He took a step forward, the floorboards audibly creaking under his weight. "I'm so sorry."

ㅤ

His voice had a sombre undertone. Slight and drowned out by the mirth that surrounded the both of you, but it was still telling. It was one that successfully let you know that he drowned in regret, all without saying a single word.

And yet, you still weren't sure how to feel about this. Sad? Happy? Furious? The second option was the most obvious one in your mind, but for the love of God, you just couldn’t form a single thought in your head. Heck, you couldn’t even comprehend the situation in general. All you knew was that Yu was here. And that was… No, wrong wasn’t the word.

His hand gently clasped your shoulder, and a familiar warmth landed alongside it.

ㅤ

"I'm sorry it took so long, but I- I was caught up in so many things, and it all just..."

ㅤ

He then pulled you into a hug. Your cheek slammed against his chest, the impact only cushioned by his thick hoodie.

ㅤ

"I missed you."

ㅤ

You didn't react.

For a few seconds, you stood there with a stiff posture as you stared into space, unsure whether you should return the hug or just stay silent and not do anything. This whole situation felt unreal. It felt like one of those hyper realistic dreams your brain would conjure up whenever it decided it wanted to escape your pitiful life, but that sprinkle of hope always scattered the moment you woke up. But it wasn't. In fact, he stood right there, the familiar scent of lemons taking over your nostrils on account of how close he was.

Yu was here… He was present. He came back.

Though you shut your eyes as hard as you could, tears still formed against your will, and they were quick to stream down your cheeks.

ㅤ

"Where..." you started, "Where were you...?"

ㅤ

You weakly pulled away, but Yu still kept you in his grip. And you immediately took this chance to observe him all over again despite your incredibly blurry vision. It was as if those years had never passed given his features. He still had that same enchanting face, and those pretty lilac eyes that always tore away at your stress with just one glance.

ㅤ

"After all this time..."

ㅤ

You held his cheek and caressed it. His pale skin yielded under your touch, and the palm of your hand outlined the sharp structure of his jaw. The softness of his skin, the flicker of vulnerability in his eyes juxtaposed to his stony expression… All of it was all so familiar.

ㅤ

"Why did you leave me, Yu?"

ㅤ

"I'm– I'm sorry, Y/N. It wasn't my choice. If I could take it all back, I would–"

ㅤ

"Why did you leave me?!"

ㅤ

You burst into tears and clutched his hoodie, burying your head in his chest.

ㅤ

"I thought you were dead! I– I thought that– I thought... I thought I lost you...!"

ㅤ

Out of pure instinct, Yu was quick to bring you closer and tightly hold you in his arms.

ㅤ

"I'm here, I'm here, okay? Nobody's dead."

ㅤ

"I thought you died, Yu! I thought you were dead, I– thought you were..."

ㅤ

Your sobs and nonsensical babbles continued. It was all the same repetitive questions about his well being, and more specifically, how you thought he was dead. Each sentence you managed to complete felt like another blade plunging his heart, only further drowning him in guilt.

And unfortunately for him, the only thing Yu knew to do in this situation was hold you and gently caress your back.

ㅤ

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I– I should've explained it all from the beginning. But I... didn't want to lose you if I ever did."

ㅤ

He knew how stupidly soft you made him. How he'd stutter when speaking to you, and how wide his smile had gotten when you two first hugged, your arms squishing his thick white hoodie just to reach his form. The same hoodie he spent hours washing blood off of the night before.

Maybe he should've told you.

ㅤ

"I thought you were dead, I– I thought... that gun, you–"

ㅤ

Though you followed these loosely strung sentences with a curse, one specific word successfully pierced his bubble.

ㅤ

"Gun? What gun?"

ㅤ

This question seemed to bring you back as well. You pulled away, and just the sight of your red cheeks and shimmering eyes, aching with raw emotion, all of it was enough for him to understand how much this impacted you.

ㅤ

"I saw that gun. N– next to that medallion." You furrowed your brow, the sun sharply highlighting your tear-stricken face. "Is that it? Are you in a gang, Yu? Is that what you couldn't tell me?!"

ㅤ

"No! I– I wasn't in a gang, Y/N. It's..."

ㅤ

Yu's gaze fell. Unintentionally, he instead eyed your trembling hands.

He couldn’t hide this anymore, could he?

ㅤ

"I– I'm... Look, as unbelievable as this sounds, I– I was a… I was a hitman."

ㅤ

"...You were what? A hitman?!"

ㅤ

"Yeah. I… That’s the truth."

ㅤ

You narrowed your eyes. It really was unbelievable. How could someone like him be capable of killing someone? No, not someone, but people? And for a job?! You would’ve labelled him a liar if it weren’t for that blasted gun.

Then, a name popped up in your mind, one that seemed to support this idea.

ㅤ

"Iso...?"

ㅤ

He went blank for a moment.

ㅤ

"...That's, uh, no, that's a code name. I switched to a profession less... suffocating. That's what they call me now."

ㅤ

"Ying was in on this?"

ㅤ

Yu's face blanched. But quickly, he held your hand and firmly kept it in your grip.

ㅤ

"She was my only way of knowing you were alive! There wasn't any– Y/N, look, none of this should've happened, I know I should've been honest from the beginning, but I didn't want you to leave if I ever told you!” His eyes darted elsewhere. “Ying wasn’t happy when she found out, but I–"

ㅤ

"I’m not like her! I never would've gone anywhere! You could've been the devil and I still would've stayed because I wouldn’t have kept going if you weren’t there!” You furrowed your brow. ”But that's not the case anymore. I still love you, but I know what I deserve, Yu. I know I deserve a relationship that isn't... one-sided..."

ㅤ

You suddenly choked on your words. Yet, he was quick to respond when he could.

ㅤ

"But we can have that, Y/N! We can start anew, no more secrets. Nothing between us, okay? Nothing but the truth. Just, please..." he squeezed your trembling hand, "give me one more chance. I promise I'll make you the happiest woman on Earth."

ㅤ

Tears began to flow once more, tracing the same path as the ones that had dried out mere seconds ago.

For a moment, your eyes slammed shut, and you used this pause to both catch your breath and comprehend the situation. It was hard to make a decision. Sure, you were unbelievably mad at everything. At Ying, at Yu, at the world, and especially those people who held Yu hostage, if his words were to be believed.

But, Hitman…? It sounded so unbelievable. Yu was just way too kind and pacifistic to commit murder. It sounded impossible.

Almost mechanically, You rested your head on his chest, lying limp as he wrapped his arms around you. The lack of aversion on your side registered as permission for him to hold you. Not that he still didn't remain incredibly cautious.

ㅤ

"Happiest woman on Earth..." 

ㅤ

You muttered ponderously to yourself. You were already happy. But you knew you’d be happier with him. Even after everything that happened, you missed having him by your side again. You missed his curious little questions about things you considered mundane, and that endearing look of realisation as you explained it to him…

Then, a smile lifted your lips.

ㅤ

"I missed you, Yu." You hugged him back. "From now on, you’ll be honest with me. About everything."

ㅤ

Being this close to him, you felt the jump in his palpitations as he registered these words.

ㅤ

"I will! I will. I promise."

ㅤ

You closed your eyes, allowing the familiar scent of lemons to enter your nostrils and put your mind at ease once more. The two of you stayed like this for a second. It felt like this embrace’s sole purpose was to make up for how much you two missed each other. Of course, he knew he would’ve lost a bit of his sanity had he not known about your whereabouts, but he also knew that saying that probably… Maybe it’s best to keep quiet. Thank God for Ying’s updates…

Then, his eyes shot open at the mention of the healer.

ㅤ

“Hey, let’s go home. I have so much to tell you.”

ㅤ

You pulled away and wiped your cheek once more, noticing the eagerness etched on his features. You nodded.

ㅤ

“I’d like that.”

ㅤ

With that, he held your hand and helped you stand up, and the two of you began walking away from the bridge. His thumb promptly began tracing the lines on your palm all on its own. And of course, you couldn’t help but wistfully smile at this familiar

Despite everything, you couldn’t truly hate this man, no matter how much you knew you had to. You just wanted to know how this gentle giant was supposedly a hitman.

6. Restless Wanderlust - Has a constant desire for change or travel, leading to instability in relationships or careers.

7. Savior Complex - Feels compelled to “save” others, often to the detriment of their own well-being or others’ autonomy.

8. Emotional Vampirism - Drains others emotionally, needing constant validation or attention.

9. Righteous Indignation - Becomes excessively angry over perceived injustices, often alienating others.

10. Altruistic Self-Destruction - Sacrifices themselves for others to an unhealthy degree, often leading to self-neglect.

11. Pathological Modesty - Downplays their own achievements to the point of self-sabotage or invisibility.

12. Incapable of Solitude - Feels an intense fear of being alone, leading to codependent or unhealthy relationships.

13. Over-Rationalization - Justifies every action or decision, even when it’s clearly flawed, to avoid guilt or responsibility.

14. Constant Self-Sabotage - Subconsciously undermines their own success due to deep-seated fears or insecurities.

15. Misplaced Loyalty - Stays loyal to people or causes even when it’s harmful or undeserved.

16. Ethical Rigidity - Follows their moral code to the letter, unable to adapt to complex or gray situations.

17. Need for Obscurity - Prefers to stay unnoticed or in the background, avoiding recognition or responsibility.

18. Involuntary Aloofness - Appears distant or disinterested, often without meaning to, leading to misunderstandings.

19. Fear of Mediocrity - Terrified of being ordinary, they constantly strive for greatness, often leading to burnout.

20. Rejection Sensitivity - Overreacts to criticism or perceived slights, often withdrawing or lashing out.

21. Conflict Avoidance - Avoids confrontation at all costs, leading to unresolved issues and resentment.

22. Over-idealization of Others - Puts people on pedestals, only to be deeply disappointed when they don’t meet expectations.

23. Chronically Unfulfilled - No matter what they achieve, they always feel something is missing, leading to constant searching.

24. Compulsive Truth-Telling - Feels compelled to speak the truth, even when it would be kinder or wiser to remain silent.

25. Overactive Imagination - Sees threats or possibilities where there are none, leading to anxiety or missed opportunities.

26. Faux Humility - Pretends to be humble but secretly craves admiration or validation.

27. Micromanagement - Needs to control every detail, often suffocating others or hindering their own progress.

28. Anachronistic Thinking - Clings to outdated beliefs or practices, struggling to adapt to modern realities.

29. Over-Reliance on Routine - Becomes anxious or lost without their routines, struggling to adapt to change.

30. Selective Memory - Remembers events in a way that suits their narrative, often distorting the truth.

31. Paradoxical Fear of Success - Desires success but subconsciously fears the changes or responsibilities it might bring.

32. Compassion Fatigue - Once empathetic, now numbed or indifferent due to overwhelming exposure to others’ suffering.

33. Overwhelming Nostalgia - Lives in the past, unable to move forward or appreciate the present.

34. Unyielding Perfectionism - So focused on flawlessness that they struggle to complete tasks or accept anything less than perfect.

35. Epistemic Arrogance - Believes they know everything worth knowing, dismissing the possibility of learning from others.

36. Excessive Hedonism - Pursues pleasure to the point of neglecting responsibilities or moral considerations.

37. Over-Cautiousness - So afraid of making mistakes that they rarely take action, leading to missed opportunities.

38. Idealistic Naivety - Believes the world should operate according to their ideals, often clashing with reality.

39. Ambition without Direction - Desires greatness but has no clear path or plan, leading to frustration and failure.

40. Emotional Transference - Projects unresolved emotions onto others, often misinterpreting their intentions or actions.

41. Overdependence on Routine - Becomes anxious or lost without their routines, struggling to adapt to change.

42. Misplaced Guilt - Feels responsible for things outside of their control, leading to unnecessary self-blame.

43. Fear of Being Ordinary - Constantly strives to stand out, often at the expense of authenticity or well-being.

44. Chronic Indecisiveness - Struggles to make even simple decisions, constantly second-guessing themselves.

45. Faux Cynicism - Pretends to be jaded or cynical as a defense mechanism, while secretly caring deeply.

46. Romanticization of Suffering - Believes that suffering is noble or meaningful, often rejecting happiness or comfort.

47. Selective Compassion - Empathetic towards some but completely indifferent or cold to others, often based on biases.

48. Avoidant Optimism - Avoids negative thoughts or situations, clinging to an unrealistic positivity that ignores real problems.

49. Fear of Abandonment - Clings to relationships out of fear of being left alone, often leading to unhealthy dynamics.

50. Overidentification with Work - Sees their job as their entire identity, struggling with self-worth outside of work.

51. Excessive Altruism - Sacrifices their own needs to help others, often to their own detriment.

52. Self-Imposed Isolation - Withdraws from others out of fear of rejection or misunderstanding, leading to loneliness.

53. Over-Analysis Paralysis - Overthinks every situation to the point of being unable to make decisions or take action.

54. Eternal Romantic - Sees the world through a lens of idealized love, often leading to disillusionment or heartbreak.

55. Emotional Incontinence - Struggles to control their emotions, often overwhelming others with their intensity.

56. Fear of Aging - Obsessed with youth, they go to great lengths to deny or hide the aging process.

57. Intellectual Cowardice - Avoids challenging their own beliefs or ideas, sticking to what they know out of fear of change.

58. Emotional Hoarding - Holds onto past hurts or grudges, unable to let go and move on.

59. Unquenchable Curiosity - Always needs to knw more, often prying into others’ lives or crossing boundaries.

60. Romantic Escapism - Uses fantasy or daydreams as a way to avoid dealing with reality, leading to detachment.

61. Masochistic Tendencies - Deliberately seeks out situations that cause them pain or discomfort, believing they deserve it.

62. Incurable Wanderer - Can never settle down, always moving on to the next place or experience, leading to rootlessness.

63. Dependency on Validation - Needs constant approval or praise from others to feel good about themselves.

64. Constant Self-Reinvention - Continuously changes their identity or persona, never settling on who they truly are.

65. Moral Masochism - Finds satisfaction in self-punishment or guilt, often holding themselves to impossible standards.

66. Faux Bravado - Pretends to be fearless or confident to hide deep-seated insecurities or fears.

67. Over-romanticization of the Past - Idealizes past experiences, believing that things were better back then, leading to dissatisfaction with the present.

68. Chronic Hedging - Never fully commits to decisions or actions, always leaving themselves an escape route.

69. Fear of Stagnation - Constantly needs to be doing something or moving forward, fearing they’ll become irrelevant or bored.

70. Over-Attachment to Objects - Places excessive sentimental value on material possessions, struggling to let go.

71. Emotional Stoicism - Refuses to show or acknowledge emotions, leading to repression and eventual breakdowns.

72. Self-Flagellation - Constantly punishes themselves for perceived failures or mistakes, often disproportionate to the actual events.

73. Fear of the Unknown - Terrified of what they can’t predict or control, leading to anxiety or avoidance of new experiences.

74. Romantic Pessimism - Believes that love or relationships are doomed to fail, leading to self-sabotage or cynicism.

75. Intellectual Purism - Believes in the superiority of “pure” intellectual pursuits, often dismissing practical or emotional concerns.

76. Existential Dread - Obsesses over the meaning (or lack thereof) of life, leading to paralysis or despair.

77. Involuntary Nonconformity- Desires to fit in but can’t help standing out or going against the grain, often feeling alienated.

78. Self-Imposed Martyrdom - Puts themselves in a position of suffering or sacrifice, believing it’s their duty or fate.

79. Idealized Self-Image - Clings to an unrealistic self-concept, struggling to accept their flaws or limitations.

80. Compulsive Honesty - Feels compelled to always tell the truth, even when it’s hurtful or inappropriate.

81. Over-Reliance on Technology - Becomes helpless without modern conveniences, struggling to cope with real-world challenges.

82. Moral Exhibitionism - Shows off their ethics or principles to gain admiration or moral superiority, often insincerely.

83. Perpetual Student Syndrome - Always learning but never applying knowledge, avoiding real-world responsibilities.

84. Emotional Osmosis - Absorbs others’ emotions so deeply that they lose track of their own feelings or needs.

85. Pathological Frugality - So obsessed with saving money or resources that they miss out on life’s joys or opportunities.

86. Obsessive Self-Improvement - Never satisfied with themselves, constantly striving for unattainable perfection.

87. False Modesty - Pretends to be humble while fishing for compliments or validation.

88. Uncontrolled Impulsiveness - Acts on whims or impulses without considering the consequences, leading to chaos or regret.

89. Chronic Hedonism - Lives only for pleasure, often to the detriment of their long-term happiness or relationships.

90. Overly Abstract Thinking - So focused on big ideas or concepts that they lose touch with reality or practical concerns.

91. Romantic Idealism - Believes in a perfect love or relationship, often leading to disappointment or disillusionment.

92. Selective Altruism - Only helps others when it suits them, often ignoring those who don’t fit their criteria.

93. Pathological Shyness - So shy or introverted that they struggle to function in social situations, often missing out on opportunities.

94. Moral Superiority - Believes they are more ethical or righteous than others, often looking down on those who don’t share their views.

95. Over-identification with a Role - Sees themselves only as their job, family role, or social identity, losing sight of their true self.

96. Chronic Complaining - Constantly finds something to complain about, often bringing others down or creating a negative atmosphere.

97. Faux Stoicism - Pretends to be emotionally strong or unaffected, while secretly struggling with deep emotional turmoil.

98. Addiction to Drama - Thrives on conflict or chaos, often creating drama where there is none to feel alive or important.

99. Obsessive Collecting - Gathers possessions, knowledge, or experiences obsessively, often unable to let go or move on.

100. Inflexible Optimism - Refuses to acknowledge negative possibilities, often unprepared for setbacks or challenges.

101. Contrarianism - Always takes the opposite stance just to challenge others, often without genuine conviction.

102. Emotional Projection - Attributes their own feelings or issues onto others, often leading to misunderstandings.

103. Compulsive Heroism - Feels the need to be seen as heroic or brave, even in situations that don’t call for it.

104. Spiritual Narcissism - Uses spirituality as a way to feel superior to others or to avoid personal flaws.

105. Self-Defeating Humor - Constantly makes jokes at their own expense, using humor to deflect serious issues.

106. Identity Fluidity - Frequently changes their identity or beliefs to fit in with different groups, losing a sense of true self.

107. Overattachment to the Past - Can’t move on from past successes or failures, allowing them to define their present.

108. Pseudointellectualism - Pretends to know more than they do, using complex language or ideas to impress others.

109. Overidealization of Youth - Places youth on a pedestal, often dismissing the value of experience or aging.

110. Refusal to Accept Help - Rejects assistance from others, believing they must do everything on their own, even to their detriment.

111. Emotional Manipulation - Uses guilt, pity, or other emotions to control or influence others, often without realizing it.

112. Inconsistent Values - Holds contradictory beliefs or morals, leading to confusion or hypocrisy in their actions.

113. Obsession with Legacy - So focused on how they’ll be remembered that they neglect the present or make unwise choices.

114. Excessive Eagerness to Please - Goes out of their way to make others happy, often at the cost of their own needs or principles.

115. Emotionally Guarded - Builds walls around their feelings, making it difficult for others to get close or understand them.

116. Selective Memory - Chooses to remember events in a way that favors them, often distorting the truth.

117. Overattachment to Authority - Relies heavily on rules or leaders, struggling to make decisions independently or question authority.

118. Fear of Vulnerability - Avoids showing weakness or asking for help, leading to isolation or burnout.

119. Intellectual Detachment - Approaches everything with cold logic, often ignoring the emotional or human side of situations.

120. Obsession with Control - Needs to control every aspect of their life and others’, often leading to stress or strained relationships.

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