beware.... for no reason in particular...

wands are like the smartphone of the wizard world, a slimmed and streamlined spellcasting apparatus of the modern era that has many slightly older wizards going "ugh kids these days don't know what it's like to have the sturdy weight of a Staff in your hands at all times. sure its not as portable but at least i can still use it to beat a motherfucker when im out of mana."

there are gen Z spellcasters trying to lead a wizard staff revival but they're all made out of cheap wood and crystals they bought on tiktok live and at least one has splintered and exploded on their user. meanwhile grandpa is in the back like "in MY day we had to memorize all our runes and draw them out of thin air backwards in the pouring rain 5 times a day"

and wizards who use scrolls and tomes to cast their spells? linux users.

everyone jokes about the pope's hat but most people don't know it actually serves an important purpose! evolutionary threat display to assert dominance against rival bishops

Common misconception, but popes are not bred. Rather, like the matriarchy of clownfish, when a pope dies, the strongest of the bishops takes his place

actually it's more akin to a hive (with strict gender-based hierarchical work division) where larval bishops are fed queen jelly, prompting their transformation into pseudo-popes, at which point they are left to death battle it out winner takes all

I don’t think that’s true

no it's true i checked

Ah, heaven above, hell below taken in a different way.

thinking "everyone can tell im bad at this" as i stand completely motionless doing nothing in public

if you ever find yourself thinking “wow I scraped the bottom of the barrel with my energy with that and came out okay!” that’s the devil talking. you did not come out okay. you borrowed energy from the future. you will repay it if you don’t rest and replenish the borrowed energy first.

this one took off quickly - are you guys ok

WIZARD PSA: Chronomancy might be weird and confusing, but one of the few solid rules of the discipline is keep your promises. Time is a library, and you don't want to meet the librarian.

You have a crush on a vocaloid

more of a fascination than a crush really, but how does that relate to bing?