omnivore

'Dirty' is a concept invented by British imperialists to keep you from enjoying God's nectar: Swamp Water!

Stop drinking the swamp water pukicho

No pain no gain

cock? like from the john green monologue? you know it's not real right?

a true fact about spiders is they can’t run for extended periods of time because they have asthma. all spiders are nerds. even tarantulas. have you ever seen a spider dating a hot babe? i doubt it. spider flashing his cash in the club? nope. spider pulling up beside you at the lights in a lamborghini? never happened. they’ve got so many eyes because they love reading. nerds. all of them.

I’m so ready to be able to legally drink. only eating all these years has left me very thirsty. I have heard very good things about water

when u go to pick up the vase u saw on craigslist but when u get there it’s actually two people facing each other

now that i’m fully vaccinated i can return to rolling dice by putting them fully into my mouth and spitting them back onto the table

im eating the gemstones in the museum gift shop i like the taste

yr locked in a room alone with three adult men but you feel perfectly safe. who are they

[STRIKES MY WIZARD STAFF ON THE GROUND AND IMMEDEATELY DUCKS BEHIND A ROCK]

[THERES A FLASH OF LIGHT AND THE RITUAL CHAMBER IS COVERED IN SPAGHETTI]

[I OPEN MY GRIMOIRE AND MAKE ANOTHER TALLY UNDER THE COLUMN LABELLED "SPAGHETTI"]

[THE OTHER COLUMN IS MARKED "SUMERIAN HARVEST GOD" AND IS COMPLETELY BLANK]

Ancient Greek guy talking to Ancient Greek artist: so what kind of art do you do? Ancient Greek artist: handsome muscle boys Ancient Greek guy: nice, love that

what is really more embarrassing, wearing a fursuit and pretending to be an animal or wearing clothes and pretending not to be

tell me, will,