Fiction and Fact

Thank you for always supporting me— for allowing to continue to grow and letting me be the person I am. I can never put into words how much I appreciate the support you’ve been giving me.

When I was still single, I had this fear that being in a relationship would limit me. I had always been a person who enjoys her own company and who has a lot of hobbies. I was afraid that being with a partner would mean less time for me to do the things that I enjoyed. But when you entered the picture, you made realize that I can still be myself while in a relationship. You never stopped me from pursuing the things that I want to and even encourage to continue growing and for that, I am forever grateful.

I love how you always encourage me to try new things. Whether it’s trying new food, a new activity, or visiting a new place, you’ve opened me up to so many experiences. I find it endearing when you say “Excited na ako ipa-try sayo” when we’re about to try food at a restaurant I’ve never been to. It makes me happy that you’re the one I’m sharing all these new experiences with.

I look forward to trying new things and growing with you, 내 사랑.

영원히 사랑해요! 보고싶어요!

Love,

Yesterday, we were crying on the phone together because it felt like you were on the verge of giving up. The stress from the longer-than-expected job-hunting process combined with financial pressures has been taking a toll on you. It was starting to eat on your confidence because you’re trying so hard and yet you still can’t find a job. It’s really not your fault because the job market really is tough these days let alone in the tech industry.

But today was a different story. You were happy and I could feel it. I was so relieved to see like that, 내 사랑. You suddenly got a message from a company you applied for and they seemed interested in you. We also went out with your friends and I saw how much fun you were having. You became yourself again and I was so glad you did.

I’m so grateful for the moments that I get to see you happy. I hope to get to see more of them. You deserve all the happiness in the world.

영원히 사랑해요!

Love,

I wish I knew how to make you feel better. I’m not really good at comforting people and giving advice. All can do is just be by your side and listen to your rants and give all the warm hugs you need.

I feel sad whenever you’re sad. I guess that’s really how it is when you love someone. You share their pain just as you would share their joy when they are happy. Just know that sadness, frustration, pain or whatever you’re feeling now are all emotions you are entitled to. Don’t suppress it. Cry if you need to even. I will cry along with you.

I know the situation you’re in right now sucks and it feels like you’re starting from the bottom again but that’s part of life isn’t it? There are ups and downs. You have to go through the challenges whether you like it or not. Whatever the outcome will be of this tricky chapter, I know you’ll eventually come out stronger and wiser.

I believe that you can do anything you set your mind to, 내 사랑. I hope you never stop believing in yourself either. Please be patient with yourself too just like how you’re always patient with me. Everything is a process and it takes time. It’s okay to admit your weaknesses, it’s really the first step to improvement.

Just know that you are greater than all of these challenges that life puts before you. There’s so much more to you than your career. You’re the most kind, loving, and generous person I know. I see how much you care for other people and how hard you’ve been working. I’ll always be proud of you no matter what.

영원히 사랑해요!

Love,

I find our height difference cute. I feel a little more kilig when I try to kiss you standing up. I have to crane my neck and be on my tippy toes while you hunch down a little. It feels like I’m in the grocery and successfully reach an item from the top shelf.

I also find it cute when you sometimes make my head into an armrest. I love how clingy you can be at times.

We’ve been together for more than two years now but my heart still feels happy every time I see you. You’re my instant stress reliever.

I won’t keep this letter long. Can’t wait to see you later this week!

영원히 사랑해요! 보고싶어요!

Love,

Sorry this letter is a few days late. I’ve really been meaning to write this but the stress from my recent trip and being in a writing slump really kept me occupied. I don’t know if it’s just me, but writing for a living can sometimes suck out your love for writing. When I’m in a slump, it feels like all the thoughts that I want to write down just keep floating in my head and I can’t seem to bring myself to organize them. And as a result, I can get any words out on paper.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for always being there for me— for letting me call when I just feel like I want to talk; for letting me rant when I have a lot of feelings; and just for always making me feel loved.

Sometimes, I still feel lost in life, and I feel like I don’t know where I’m heading. It makes me feel anxious at times, to be honest. But then I think of you and suddenly feel calmer. You give me something to look forward to, 내 사랑. Let’s go on more adventures and make more memories together.

I know we already saw each other earlier this week, but I miss you already. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow.

보고싶어요! 영원히 사랑해요!

Love,

I’m the kind of person who hates phone calls. Just the thought of having to call someone makes me anxious. I always catch myself hoping that the person on the other line won’t pick up. But with you, it’s the opposite.

I love having phone calls with you. I can just yap away during a call and the hours would pass by so quickly. Just hearing your voice makes me feel happy. It makes feel like we’re together in the same room. You don’t even need to say anything to make me feel your presence. There are no awkward silences. You could literally be snoring on the other end of the line and i’d happily listen.

While I do hope for more phone calls with you, of course i’d like it better to spend more time with you in person. I look forward to more phone calls and more adventures with you.

영원히 사랑해요! 보고싶어요!

Love,

I can’t believe how much my life has changed since I met you two years ago. You’ve made my days brighter and made me feel more alive rather than just surviving. With you by side, I feel more brave to face things that I need to and make the changes that I need to for the better.

You’ve also brought out the inner child in me. There was a part of me before that was sort of ashamed of my interest in cute things like plushies and blind boxes as well as playing games— but when I met you, I realized that it’s okay to have fun. It’s okay for me to embrace these interests no matter how weird and childish. I learned from you the importance of enjoying the little things in life and not to be consumed by work all the time.

When I think of you, I just feel so grateful because the kind of love and care you give me is something that I never imagined I could feel before I met you. I was almost convinced before that love was never in the cards for me. But you proved that wrong when you came into my life.

You give me so much to look forward to, 내 사랑. I look forward to traveling to new places, trying new dishes, and just doing random things with you. Let’s go on more adventures.

영원히 사랑해요! 보고싶어요!

Love,

I wanna make more memories with you. I want to travel to new places with you and go on roadtrips together. We’d listen to a lot of songs on the way and you’d take pictures of funny things we’d see along the way. I’d hold your hand as you drive and you’d laugh at the weird things I would say.

I want to visit more restaurants and try new dishes for the first time. We’d tease each other about dishes we don’t like. You’d probably point at something with mayo or something drowning in sauce, and I’d jokingly tell you to order pork or tofu. I’d likely get full too fast and ask you to finish my food for me. But then I would still have room for dessert so we’d go drink coffee at a cafe or get some ice cream or milktea.

I want to see you enjoy playing your games more. You’d explain to me how the game works and I’d happily listen even if I don’t understand all the time. I just like seeing how happy you look when you talk about your games.

Whether it’s going on dates outside or just spending time together at your place or even just going on a drive together, I enjoy every moment of it because I get to spend time with you. I look forward to making more memories with you, 내 사랑.

보고싶어요! 영원히 사랑해요!

Yours,

I love how in touch you are with your emotions. We recently watched the new Inside Out film more than a week ago. After the movie, you asked me how many times I cried during the film. I was surprised you asked because I didn’t cry at all. You told me you did a couple of times. I find that so endearing. I love how you’re not afraid to show your emotions— whether for the movie or for me. I love how affectionate you are towards me.

I love seeing that big smile on your face when something makes you happy, and your loud laughs when you find something funny. Of course, I’ve seen moments when you’re upset too. I appreciate that you allow me to be there for you.

When you love someone, you start to share the same emotions. When I see that you’re happy, I also feel happy. When you’re sad or frustrated, I also feel your pain. When you’re excited for something, I also feel excitement for you. Feeling the same emotions you do just shows that I love you.

사랑해요, 내 사랑! 보고싶어요!

Love,

C

P.S.

I love how we can do spontaneous things together. I’ve always enjoyed doing things randomly and I’m glad that we share the same energy.

Just last week, we suddenly went on a date because we happened to be in the same area. We didn’t really have anything planned and we came across a trampoline place. You asked if I wanted to try, and being the random person that I am, of course I said yes. I wasn’t event dressed for the occasion. I was still in my work clothes. But still, I really had fun that day.

Then there’s another kind spontaneous when you suddenly show up to surprise me. I also love the times you’d randomly pass by my place to bring me a cup of coffee. I still feel kilig when you try to surprise me.

I look forward to doing more random things with you, 내 사랑!

영워히 사랑해요! 보고싶어요!

Yours,

I love seeing you happy. I love seeing how happy you are when you’re playing your games, especially the ones where you’re dancing. I love how seeing how excited you get when you talk to me about your games. You even try to explain the storylines of your favorite games and make watch videos about it. I may not be as interested in those stories as you, but I love seeing the excitement and interest in your eyes as you explain everything to me.

I love seeing you bond with your friends. It makes me happy to see you have fun with and forget your worries for a while. I appreciate how you introduce me to all your friends, and make me get to know them as well. I’m grateful that you have a lot of friends around who care about you.

You deserve all the happiness in the world, 내 사랑. I look forward to seeing more of your happy moments and being a part of them.

영원히 사랑해요!

Yours,

I was randomly listening to songs on Youtube today when I Smile by Day6 started to play. I always remember you when I hear this song, not just because I smile when I’m with you, but I have a fond memory of us listening to this song before.

You were driving me home from our first date while we were listening to that song when you suddenly said you were feeling “kilig”. It was the first time any guy blurted out those lines in front of me. I found it so endearing. I felt so happy at that moment because I too was also feeling kilig.

Over a year later from that moment and I still feel kilig when I’m with you. I’m just grateful to have you in my life, 내 사랑. I’m thankful for the happy moments we get to share.

영원히 사랑해요! 보고싶어요!

Yours,

It honestly feels like I’m going through a breakup. It’s as if I’ve been in a toxic relationship and it took me so long to muster up the courage to leave. Over the years, I kept on telling myself to just keep on going and hold on a little longer cause my big break will come too. Eventually, I got burnt out from trying and trying.

I used to be so promising when I first entered this industry. I was full of motivation and eagerness to learn everything that I could. But it feels like I was put in the back burner for so long that I became stagnant and just aimed at getting by. This of course affected my confidence. At some point, I felt stupid— like I’ve already reached my limits and have nothing more to offer.

So why am I still mourning the loss of something that was toxic? I guess I’m still decompressing from all the stress, self-doubt and pressure I’ve been feeling for so long. Also, part of me feels like I’ve failed myself in a way since I haven’t really achieved much in my career. I still need to get over these feelings. I still need time to heal.

But just to make it clear, I don’t regret entering the industry. Being a journalist did open me up to a lot of experiences and adventures. It’s just that my time in the industry has run out and there’s no more room for me here to grow. Staying where I was will not do me any good.

I miss hearing you snore. I know that sounds weird because usually it’s hard to fall asleep next to a snoring person, but hearing you snore helps me fall asleep faster. It gives me comfort— a reminder that I’m not alone. It’s almost like your snore is contagious that I find myself falling asleep not long after.

I feel grateful for the moments I when I get go sleep beside you. There’s something so wholesome about falling asleep together. It’s a kind of comfort that I’ve never felt with anyone else.

Even the moments when fall asleep while talking on the phone feels so precious. Just hearing your voice already gives me comfort.

I look forward to having more of these little moments with you, 내 사랑.

보고싶어요! 영원히 사랑해요!

Yours,

I love how you rest your head on my chest as you wrap your arms around my body. You’re nearly a foot taller than I am but in that moment it feels like I’m cradling a little child in my arms. It’s such a wholesome and precious moment that warms my heart.

It may be an unconscious effort on your part, but it’s really the little things that give us joy sometimes. I’ll always cherish these little moments with you, 내 사랑.

Yours,