kohannki🌼BartErik HQ

I am the monster you created

You ripped out all my parts

Istvan molded Erik into someone he wanted Erik to be. He robbed the boy of his own life, his parents, his own choices, his true personality. He created a monster of Erik, a violent guard/lap dog. He made him fight in a war.

And worst of all, for me to live

I gotta kill the part of me that saw

That I needed you more

To live on, Erik has to get rid of the feeling that he needs Istvan to survive, to exist.

I hope you know we had everything

Erik hopes Istvan knows he and his family, his village had everything they ever needed to be happy. But they got raided and killed off inhumanely.

And you broke me and left these pieces

Istvan broke Erik, and even after his death he left painful feelings and thoughts behind, and some of them might stay with Erik forever.

I want you to hurt like you hurt me today, and

I want you to lose like I lose when I play

Erik wants revenge for everything Istvan did to him, he wants the man to pay for his horrible acts. Wants him to suffer. But it’s all in vain, because Istvan is dead.

What could have been

Oh, what could have been

Erik thinks about what his life could have been like if his village would have survived the war, if his parents would have got to live. He mourns it all, the peace and happiness he could have had.

Why don't you love who I am

What we could have been?

He wonders why he wasn’t enough for Istvan as his true self, why did he have to be changed and hurt so much to become someone he was never meant to be. And Istvan took him as a boy, so why wasn’t he enough for the man as a son, just a kid? Why did he have to hurt and manipulate him into a horrible relationship?

I am your ghost, a fallen angel

You ripped out all my parts

Istvan’s ghost will live on in Erik. The man affected and traumatized him so badly, he will never forget Istvan and what he did to him. He won’t let him live in peace even after his death, because he broke Erik completely. Istvan made him depend on him, and without him Erik doesn't find his place.

I couldn't care what invention you made me

'Cause I, I was meant to be yours

Erik thinks back of how he felt about all this before Istvan had died. He was okay with everything the man did, he did not care how he was hurt and fooled, changed, to become a loyal servant, who would kill anyone his master asks him to. Because Istvan told him, that’s what he has to be, what he is meant to be. Istvan’s. And Erik believed him, sadly.

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