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hiiii. a lil change happened here. im getting rid of my online nickname of 10 years because it really isn't me anymore. hasn't been for a long time now. I finally found something that is only tied to me, not to a current interest or smth like that.
A small spoiler illustration for one KCD zine #KCDBOOK
> Произошло 9 часов с поиском подходящей позы и перчатками. Думала напялить на него шлем, но не хочется прятать прекрасную мордаху под кусок металла. Представим, что он просто показывает какой-то прием Индро после трени. Проводит разбор ошибок, так сказать...
my cutest patooties.... BartErin is just everything to meee 😭😭😭 AND HAPPY PRIDE MONTH 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈 if you arent familiar with this au, Bart is transmasc, Erin is my transfem Erik. My beloveds 💖🌼
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Okay guys I’m gonna come forward and confess. As a Polish player I always get a bit “what in holy hell is this spelling” when I see the English versions of names.
The biggest one for me is this Black Bartosch I always read it as Black Borscht. Lil guy black beetroot soup.
Like it’s not even that bad, but there was not a single time when I read it as it’s intended
A little analysis of Erik and Istvan's relationship with the help of one of my favourite songs.
I like to look at Erik from a different perspective than most people who love him, I think. I just feel sorry for him, and wish his life could have been different. My drawings about him pretty much come from this feeling.
WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN - Sting, Ray Chen
The song is from Erik’s POV. After Istvan’s death, he starts realizing how wrongly he was treated by the man, that he lost everything because of him.
I am the monster you created
You ripped out all my parts
Istvan molded Erik into someone he wanted Erik to be. He robbed the boy of his own life, his parents, his own choices, his true personality. He created a monster of Erik, a violent guard/lap dog. He made him fight in a war.
And worst of all, for me to live
I gotta kill the part of me that saw
That I needed you more
To live on, Erik has to get rid of the feeling that he needs Istvan to survive, to exist.
I hope you know we had everything
Erik hopes Istvan knows he and his family, his village had everything they ever needed to be happy. But they got raided and killed off inhumanely.
And you broke me and left these pieces
Istvan broke Erik, and even after his death he left painful feelings and thoughts behind, and some of them might stay with Erik forever.
I want you to hurt like you hurt me today, and
I want you to lose like I lose when I play
Erik wants revenge for everything Istvan did to him, he wants the man to pay for his horrible acts. Wants him to suffer. But it’s all in vain, because Istvan is dead.
What could have been
Oh, what could have been
Erik thinks about what his life could have been like if his village would have survived the war, if his parents would have got to live. He mourns it all, the peace and happiness he could have had.
Why don't you love who I am
What we could have been?
He wonders why he wasn’t enough for Istvan as his true self, why did he have to be changed and hurt so much to become someone he was never meant to be. And Istvan took him as a boy, so why wasn’t he enough for the man as a son, just a kid? Why did he have to hurt and manipulate him into a horrible relationship?
I am your ghost, a fallen angel
You ripped out all my parts
Istvan’s ghost will live on in Erik. The man affected and traumatized him so badly, he will never forget Istvan and what he did to him. He won’t let him live in peace even after his death, because he broke Erik completely. Istvan made him depend on him, and without him Erik doesn't find his place.
I couldn't care what invention you made me
'Cause I, I was meant to be yours
Erik thinks back of how he felt about all this before Istvan had died. He was okay with everything the man did, he did not care how he was hurt and fooled, changed, to become a loyal servant, who would kill anyone his master asks him to. Because Istvan told him, that’s what he has to be, what he is meant to be. Istvan’s. And Erik believed him, sadly.
......
Thanks for reading, I'd be happy to hear your thoughts :)) You are also free to disagree with me, but know: this isn't ship bashing or hate. I simply see these two this way.
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Erik petting barts hair, like I'm thinking they're snuggled up together and Erik's just combing through his hair. Maybe without realising. But just a cute little moment
<3
i loved this one too much thank you for the idea 😭🙏💖
my ask inbox is empty now, yall can send me more barterik (or barterin) prompts!!! this is so much fun