kOalaCuddle

So here I am, waiting for graduation in a couple of weeks and feeling, as a newly unemployed useless member of society, a bit crap and well, useless. 

I set this time as the time in which I would begin this blog properly, showing how life is after university for myself. The original plan was to find a house to rent for a few more months where I had a job. That didn’t happen for various little issues and so I’ve moved home away from a job I enjoyed and my boyfriend of over 2.5 years. It’s not nice. Granted, it is nice to be able to see my friends some more and spend some actual time with my family, but it is a big change of lifestyle, especially without my job which was quite specialised. 

I know, roughly, what my aims are. I would like to go travelling at some point, with friends or with said boyfriend. I would also like to get a good job and move into Manchester city centre for the sake of my job and my sanity. This all sounds wonderful but I need funding to do this and my last pay is not enough for these ideas. 

And so I am job hunting. Everywhere. I am getting desperate now with so few replies about my applications. I’m grateful for the rejections I’ve had, at least they’ve had the politeness to let me know where I stand! I know that this is how it works looking for a job, from experience between the seasons of my last job and my searching before I found that job and the one before it. This being said, job hunting will never be a pleasant experience. I have experience of customer service; almost a full two years of it in fact, and this doesn’t seem to be speeding anything up for me. 

It really does test your ability to be a decent, mature individual when there are so many people around who challenge this in you. 

Recently there has been someone who has annoyed me beyond belief. He is part of the same group as me and because of some minor misunderstandings and unfortunate circumstances (which have affected the whole group) he has given up. He is in the same sort of authoritative position as the rest of us and he has thrown in the towel. I don't intend to be rude but GROW A PAIR. This group has had me feeling bipolar, it's been such a roller-coaster year and I am in a job in it that I didn't even want to go for but did to keep the group going and he feels he has the right to whine about him not being able to use his planning etc LIKE THE REST OF US. We had problems with him last year too, for being exceptionally sensitive. For someone who wants to work in the arts, he is extremely soft and that will NOT work in his favour. 

As silly as the title is, this is genuinely a serious post! 

So, basically, I am super-duper worried about a friend of mine (actual friend not a 'friend' that actual means me). Not wanting to give too much away in case anyone who knows about this happens upon this post (unlikely); he is not in a good place. Let's call him Fred. Fred's a good name. If you are actually a Fred then I salute your parents and you if you're over 18 and still have the name! 

So, Fred is in a very worryingly sad place. He has made hints that he might do something silly to me and my other half amongst others. Because of...stuff, he is pretty much alone in life besides his lovely friends, myself included (even if I do say so myself) and so the situation, plus him being an adult, becomes more difficult to help. 

Me and t'other one (so many neutral ways to say Boyfriend...) went around to a few places today to try and help him out. We weren't 100% sure what we were going to do; I'd spoken to my Mum who had some ideas for us to try because she knows about some of this kinda stuff but other than that we were a bit lost. 

We haven't found his Doctor ourselves, so we can't pass our concerns on through him/her as of yet. We did get some advice from a gentlemen in a health centre of sorts and we are trying to simply encourage ol' Fred to get himself some help. Some of the things he said made me believe that part of him is looking for help; and his telling me is a step in that direction itself. 

So, I believe that I have decided on what this blog will be based around. Obviously this is a personal blog so it will feature my thoughts, opinions and daily activities. But the main focus is going to be on the scary transition from full-time education to 'real life'. 

I was having a think earlier about some people I know. These are people that I see on a regular basis through my job. These people are a few of many that I am friendly towards and yet whenever they go out as a group, including people I consider friends, I do not seem to cross their mind. 

This thought angered and upset me at first: I have been nothing but nice to these people and they knowingly leave me out. I have often had conversations with a number of them and consider us to have opinions and tastes that are quite similar: something that with my friends is a big part of our relationship. It is also not the first time this has happened; I have exceptionally rarely been unfriendly towards someone in a group at work or any other establishment and yet I am left out. Why should I continue to be nice to them after this keeps happening?! I like to think that I am a nice person and a lot of the friends I now have confirm this; I would also probably not be in a long-term relationship if I wasn't easy to get on with. 

But then the thought occurred that maybe they just don't like how I act or speak or they think that I wouldn't be interested, And there is nothing wrong with that. I don't, until you know me very well, have a particularly strong, opinionated persona, or at least that is what I believe. Maybe this is why it happens: people tend to be drawn to strong personalities. I have a personality, I'm a complete dork to be more specific and apparently have my funny moments; but when I'm a very shy person until I think someone is actually interested in what I have to say, it is difficult to make new friends and show to groups of people that I would fit in with them. 

This here blog is an idea of mine to sort of, attempt to follow in the footsteps of some female bloggers that I really like and maybe, potentially, possibly start a vlog thingy. 

The whole vlog thing depends on time restraints and may have to wait until I finish uni but alas, poor j...I'm getting off the point. I'm doing this shit anyway; simple as.

I have attempted blogs before buuuttt I guess I'm at a stage in life when I'm learning more about myself and trying to be an adult rather than being a shitty teenager as I was! And with that, I have given myself a blog idea: huzzah! 

I should probably introduce myself...

I am Becky. Formally known as Beccy then Bekii and now I'm a 'grown up', I've decided to use a PROPER SPELLING. It causes less questions and funny looks. 

I am in my third and final year of my BA Hons English and Creative Writing course. Hopefully that will turn out well; it's gone smoothly-ish so far!

I spend most of my time in glorious Stoke-on-Trent but I grew up in Warrington and was born in Manchester. 

I like music...a vague expression, I know, but I like SO much it's ridiculous. I also like theatre. I love it. Aaaaaand geeky shit. I am a huge, proud nerd with a worrying obsession with Sherlock Holmes. Inclusive of that of course, is the BBC series. And a certain funny-named actor that may or may not be in said production.