Jonah was surprised to find that he believed Mathias. His general predisposition was towards cynicism and pessimism, but he also knew Mathias – he’d never once seen the other perform badly, much to his own frustration. Even on an off day, Mathias could act in circles around the majority of them, and Jonah fucking hated it. However, it seemed that not even his prowess could save him from Heidi. “How did you manage that?” he asked in reference to Mathias’ theory, almost amused. “It’s been like a week, Mathias, and you could convince a fucking rock that you’re its best friend. So. Again I ask the same question: what did you mess up?”
He knew why Heidi disliked him – it was how everyone felt about him generally, so why should she be any different? – but after so many years of Orson whispering in his ear that perfection had a name and it was Mathias Knight, it was hard for him to believe that she would discount Mathias so quickly too.
Gulping down the rest of his drink and pressing his tongue to his teeth as the liquor burned its way down his throat, he raked a hand through his messy hair and tried to catch the bartender’s eye to order himself another. “I never thought it would be like this,” he sighed, loosened by the liquor, honesty slipping out of him like ripe fruit falling from a tree. “I thought there’s no way anything can be worse than losing to you. Than the look on Orson’s face when you don’t measure up to what he wants – not that you’d know what that feels like,” he added, humorless laugh punctuating the sentence.
Drink refilled in front of him, he pulled it towards him as he added, bitterness permeating every syllable, “And, to add insult to fucking injury, I’m Hudson’s fucking understudy. I guess Orson isn’t the only one who knows how to give a backhanded complement…”
The bitter thing in him coils tightly in his chest for a moment, makes him press his lips tightly together. What Jonah says is the truth, isn’t it? As annoying as Mathias is, there’s something about him that draws people towards him -- charisma, definitely, charm, and also just the energy. People feel like they’re on top of the world when they’re with him. People feel like they’re important, just as important as he is, when they’re with him. Beneath the glitter, beneath of boisterous laughter and mesmerising talent, Mathias is still the type of person people want to be friends with, whether for good reasons or not.
But Jonah’s insistence that that wasn’t the case makes Mathias roll his eyes, just a little. “Even she said my performance was the best,” he says, gritted teeth and all. The confusion in his own voice bleeds out. “She said I was the best too. We all know it. She said it. She said my audition was the best she’d seen that day.” He pauses, takes another long sip of his drink, before adding, “She doesn’t like me, and she’d rather jeopardise the whole play to make me know that.”
It’s the closest thing he’s come to a valid reasoning for it, for choosing Hudson as the lead instead of him.
He glances at Jonah, says with a precise, casual balance of deadly seriousness and light ease, “I wouldn’t think on that too much. Losing to me, that is. Everyone does, you’re hardly ever the first.” He’s thinking of more reassuring things to say, if you could call it that -- Mathias isn’t known for support. He’s thinking of more reassuring things to say, but he stops abruptly when Jonah says --”You’re Hudson’s understudy?”
An awful taste in his mouth, nothing to do with the alcohol.