@what_every_boy_should_know_

Smoked weed everyday, spent days fantasizing, i was prettier, it was all fabulous vibes, i was a vibe, and i think i was more sensible, but only had like 2/3 friends, and various horrible ugly dates. I remember being with this guy for like 1 and a half where i supposedly was in love with, just. because i spent 24 hours with him on the first date and he was sweet to me.

But we never did anything sexual or even kissed, just slept together, we only built and accumulate sexual tension that was never used. And he had a boyfriend, lol. It was a tuff month kkkkkkkk,

He was 28, and i was 19at the time and he was a big loser, i like to remember this, Felt like this never happened. It was really strange.

Anyway, so what i wanted to say lol is i want to be maniac again. At this moment i feel like i have depression.

im kinda lost, im almost done with my cinema graduation lol … which doesn’t gave much blablabla i dont like it … don’t want to continue in the cinema industry. i think

Need to do my internship and don’t have no ideia what to do, but whatever

i spent this last 3 year doing nothing outside of school, and loads of shit inside of school. My portfolio is a shame. And didnt had the opportunity todiscover my creative self or something .

Most of the time i just wanted to be a influencer … and unfortunately that’s not going to work

And only now i’m starting to do stuff, entering this path of lifeless tumbrl photography and styling portraits of friends and people. Which im loving actually.

. I want to explore photography and fashion.

But i refuse going on a fashion graduation, at least in portugal. For some reason im still ashamed of saying and imagining myself pursuing fashion. Weird 😂

i lost myself in these 3 years,, and a lot of time

and i just have to be spontaneous

but at the same time feel like i’m thriving deliriously