Realizations and Life Lessons
So Hey everyone how's it going?
I haven't been on here in a while to update whats going on in my day to day life. So I thought, why not today? (Even though I should be studying for Accounting 1 right now) I cannot stand taking these summer classes... Although, I must admit that I would take a summer class over a semester style class any day. Yeah, the duration of the class is longer (3 hours if anyone was wondering) but the process of learning the material seems to just flow better. Anyway, enough of the accounting talk...Back to the subject I initially wanted to cover.
We all know, well I think you may know, that I was a Studio Art major since I have been in college, which is for about 3 and a half to 4 years so far; and I recently decided to switch my major over into Retail Merchandising and Product development. To be honest, I don't like being hard on myself, but I just never thought I would be capable of making it into the studio based world with the amount of talent I had (or lack of). It was really hard going into classes (at my community college especially) and seeing the talent that revolved around me. I felt as if I was not qualified to be in this industry. To top it off my professors were not very how do I say this.. I guess what I am looking for is, "reassuring of my skill or lack there of".
Okay enough of the Debby-downer bullshit.
When I transferred over to FSU I was not sure what I would be getting into. I still was in Studio Art, and was nervous how critical the professors would be on my work. To my surprise they were amazing, they made me feel as though I was a fantastic artist and I could go places! I have never felt so relieved! Even though I had all this positive reinforcement and good vibes standing behind me something still did not satisfy me. I still was questioning whether this is what I want to do.
You maybe asking "which is?" Who knows! I guess I am still figuring that out.
Maybe a little background of my life will help you guys understand me a little more. When I was a little girl until now 21 years old, I have always wanted to make people feel pretty and look pretty. I love to care for people and give everything I have to them. I expect nothing in return but just their happiness. Seeing them light up with joy after I do something for them is enough to keep my fueled for a lifetime.
The first book my mom every got me was a hair book. I studied that thing like no tomorrow. I tried it on myself, on my Mom, and even on my Dad.. LOL not much hair there... but it did the job! (sorry Dad) I analyzed new trends and makeup looks and practiced day in and day out. I just loved the fashion life!
Which brings me back to FSU, I had one class in particular called Contemporary Art, which was basically a class based around the contemporary artists of today and who you should really know about. In the beginning of this class we sat in groups and talked about what type of art we practice. When it came to me I was anxious I was thinking to myself "What do I say? Do I say something like I draw, or paint or something that is based around studio art that I really don't want to do with my life? Or do I say what I really want to do?(which is where I am at now still struggling)" I ended up spurting out "I draw flowers". WTF Kayla?! Why did you say that?! I just was afraid people would judge me and ask why am I here if I told them I want to be in the fashion industry and design clothes, own my own store, be a personal stylist, and do peoples makeup on the side.
It was not until the end of the semester when were able to show our abilities and personal choice of mediums. The professor assigned a one-on-one meeting with the students to talk about their final studio based project and discuss how we are doing in the class. I thought, this is my chance, I can show the class what I want to do and my capabilities of fashion design. It maybe somewhat taboo to them because it isn't a typical studio based subsection. So when I told my professor I wanted to design a outfit she was beyond ecstatic because she wanted some fresh new talent and wanted to see what I could bring to the table. I worked my butt off on this project day and day out. Burning my fingers with the hot glue gun and stabbing myself with needles.
It was all worth it once I saw the reaction of my co-students in the class. They were amazed and wanted me to make things for them and kept saying things like "WOW" and "You are going to go so far!" and "You're going to be famous" my confidence skyrocketed!! It showed me this is what I want to do. I want to design clothes and make people happy!
Some people think its crazy to change your major this far into your college career. I think its brilliant, I say why not? If you are able to do something you love and it takes you 3 or 4 years to figure it out at least you're doing it instead of ignoring it because of time or money spent.
Look at it this way, yes I have been a studio art major for the majority of my college degree and yes I am switching over during my senior year (I think) but aren't you getting the best of both worlds? You are getting a side of creativity, visual design, and maybe a future cliental, and now you are getting a business side, retail experience, and a understanding of fabrics. What could get better?! So enough of the rambling.. I should really get to studying. My final is tomorrow.. BLAH! I just thought I would write down everything I have been thinking. But basically what I am saying is do what you love to do, do not look at others and be afraid of their judgement. The judgement will always be there, its what you do to turn the judgement into motivation and being the best you, you can be.
Enough of the blabbing Until next time.
Love xoxo,
Kayla<3
Here is a photo of the outfit I made and makeup I did.