This is the face of a survivor.
A face glowing with spirit, determination and strength in the aftermath of persistent neglect and abuse. My face has changed over the course of two years. It bears the scars and is visibly hardened by this relentless battle.
This is the face of a woman who has stepped into the darkness and fought to live. Sometimes winning, sometimes losing.
My one goal in life was to avoid repeating my mother’s mistake. I hid myself for fear of finding myself in a relationship with ‘that kind of man’. I told myself I would never stay, I would always walk. Now I know it’s not so easy.
I didn’t realise that the abusive man didn’t need to come from the outside. He lived inside of me. His oppressive tactics a black tar running through my veins, penetrating my bones to control and inflict pain on me. Draining my passion, isolating me from the world and commanding me to shrink smaller and smaller.
For a time I believed him. That my only option was to perform for him. To flagellate myself for daring to be alive. Believing him when he said I could never shake the shame that plagued me. Believing him that I didn’t deserve forgiveness. Believing him that I would never know enough to speak. Believing him that I needed to be perfect to act, to move. Believing him that I deserved punishment.
Now I know I have a choice. I lived in his prison for too long. Now, I use my voice and move my feet to choose differently. To break the cycle.
I see you, abuser. The spotlight is on and you have nowhere to hide. You are not welcome here. It’s time for you to fuck off.
snowghoul
titsay
baratheonpilled
dailybridgerton
gummygunk
yousharknotpass
prguitarman