kea

one day I’ll get over it and the lump in my throat when I try to talk about it won’t exist

Choosing yourself

We open each meeting by asking a simple question: What is keeping you alive today? This allows us to revel in the sometimes small motions that get us to the Next Thing. Yes, I did not want to get out of bed this morning, but there was one single long shard of sunlight that stumbled in through a tear in my curtains, and the warmth of it hitting my arm got me to that first hour of living. There was my dog, who, on the mornings I do not want to get out of bed, will rest silently at my feet and wait for me to slowly emerge from under the covers, and seeing her reminds me that I do, in fact, have only one lifetime in which I can love this animal. As far as I know, we will love each other only here, for a while, and that is worth seeing what I can make out of a few hours, even when I’m wrecked with despair.

david lynch understood on a fundamental level how abusive and exploitative the world is to those with the least power, particularly women and children. he created an entire lifetime's worth of cinematically and narratively groundbreaking work trying to grapple with that hostility and abuse, trying to reconcile the evil that exists in the hearts of everyday men with the goodness he saw there as well. he made survivors of unspeakable trauma feel seen and known in a way that few artists ever have and ever will, and never once shied away from the truth he knew and believed: that we are all innocent, that what has been done to you is not who you are, and even in times of abject despair, there are people who love you, who will not forget you or stop trying to save or defend or avenge you. i don't want that to go without notice. many people are mourning him for different reasons, and i agree, he was one of the greatest and most imaginative artists to ever be given free reign to paint on a cinematic canvas. but first and foremost, david lynch was an artist of enormous empathy, and i think those of us who saw ourselves in his work because of the empathy it afforded us are grieving particularly hard today.