ill close my eyes the whole time just to see.

but the main one is hiding the fact that my feelings are indifferent about living the life that i use to dream of.

nowadays i just wanna cry about how i dont wanna be here.

where when i think about love i wonder if ill ever be able to feel the same.

i cant change the way i feel nor can i ever say ill stop loving you and wanting you.

im stuck because i cant think about my own comfort.

closed my eyes and he brought me she.

then the Sea. i found me.

ego was my death. now i am.

i cant believe i stayed away for that long. now ill bask in the pitch black sun for the rest of my life.

i love that god came to me when i finally gave up.

its crazy. but its true.

i never lost sight of her. i never knew her. not even a chance.

now she calls me by heart. gives me everything i need. no back n forth no stops. like life should be.

forward is where we head into the most beautiful death.

im going to create a child that knows death.

that knows love is as just as she is.

reality is not what it seems but it always will be.

glad i could.

glad i wont ever make the cycle continue after the choice i made.

im never gonna be able to do the things i need to without changing into what im becoming.