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Confession #22
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At this point I don't really see the benefit of sticking around
Confession #22

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so you just self harmed
and you’re probably feeling pretty worthless
like you’ve let everyone down
but you didn’t
and you’re probably wishing you cut deeper
because the pain in your brain
had more to gain on the flesh
so you just self harmed
and you’re probably wanting to go back online
search up triggering posts for you to scroll through
and ask strangers how they do it
because no one loves anything more
than a vicious circle
and you’re fighting with your mind
knowing this is not the time
but all common sense has been left behind
so you just self harmed
and now you’re probably imaging death
romanticizing the images and glossing over details
while drowning you are at peace
not war
while cutting, you are calm
not crying
when you’re mother finds you, she is quiet
not screaming.
One thing that scares me are needles. My mom doesn't understand because I self harmed a lot when I was younger. But the thing they dont understand about cutting is the control factor. I liked causing myself pain, but I dont like it when it comes from anyone else. NO ONE CAN HURT ME MORE THAN I CAN HURT MYSELF. I can control how deep I go, how slow I drag the blade, and when and where I do it.
“Does this type of sad last forever? Does it ever go away? Will I ever look at a knife and just think it’s a knife. Or will the urge to hurt myself always be here?”
Source : Me Tillie (Kilg0)

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