Beauty in the Mind.

“You have moments where you think you’re over it and then you have others where you cry on the bathroom floor wondering why you weren’t good enough.”

“I hate to say this but,” he spoke as he placed his cup of coffee on the table, “I am a complex person.” “Complex like apartment complex?” He laughed at her quirky reply. “Yes,” he said, “I am like a huge apartment with many doors and walls. You will end up getting lost and finding the exit is almost impossible.” She began to smile as she looked at him, “Well, who says that I want to find the exit?”

I wanted to tell you that wherever I am, whatever happens, I’ll always think of you, and the time we spent together, as my happiest time. I’d do it all over again, if I had the choice. No regrets.

We’re sitting around a circle talking about the worst thing we’ve ever done. When it’s my turn to tell the story- I lie. I don’t tell them about your 60 missed calls and the 12 text messages in which you begged me to fight for love as much as you were willing to die for it. I don’t tell them that I kissed your bestfriend a week after I asked you to never call again or that when you found out, you didn’t hear it from me. I forget to tell the part where you lose who you are over me for some time. How you pick up your old habits. How you started drinking on the weekends and how they turned to weekdays. I don’t even tell them that I never apologized and I don’t talk about how I never looked back. I skip the part where you swore to yourself that you’d never love anyone else like me because it’s not the kind of story I want to tell. Because when they ask me about the worst thing I have ever done, it always comes back to you. I wonder how you’re doing and if maybe you’ve found it in yourself to forgive me. When they ask me about the worst thing I’ve ever done, I spare the time of the details. I jump to the biggest thing, I tell them that I wasn’t deserving of a love like that. That I destroyed the one person who loved me above anything else. I tell them that you set the world on fire for me and I looked the other way.

You know those moments when you just miss them? You go looking for a picture or maybe even a text message you forgot to delete. Just to remind yourself that at one point you did matter to them. That it wasn’t all a lie. That for even just a moment you were all they thought about.

I love you and I won’t give up on you even if you don’t want me anymore, I’ll always carry you around in my heart.

I just want to love you, I just want the best for you. But why are you throwing me away? Why are you destroying everything you love? Why?

Friendship after a relationship is just a silent goodbye.

Some days, I will love you more than the universe itself, whereas some days, I will love you less, much less than I love myself. But please keep the following words in your heart;  That I will still love you. Less or more, I will love only you.

“I fear I may never love the kind of love I had loved when I loved you.”