My personal diary

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Day 12. Life is getting back to normal, with thinness - everything is getting back to normal.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Day 10. I'm already starting to be afraid of food.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Day 9. A pleasant feeling of emptiness in the stomach, nothing else matters.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Today, for the first time in my life, I managed to say a firm "no" to myself. I was already thinking in my head that I was overeating, but I managed not to eat it. My social battery is running low, I don't want to communicate with people at all.

Chudej nocy🦋

Ana is a part of me.

Chcę po prostu kontrolować siebie, przynajmniej coś w tym życiu.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Day 8. I feel good, but the guilt from what I ate yesterday is just k1ll1ng me.

I just want to control myself, at least something in this life.

„byłam idealna”.

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

I feel so good when ⭐. I ate like a pig and I hate myself for it. Why can't anyone around me just call me fat? So what if I'm normal? I want to be perfect. I want to be "my mom's friend's daughter". I want to be the model student where everything is perfect. And then when I pass my exams with 100%, just come to the 🚆🎉 and leave a note saying

"I was perfect".

Ale to tylko sen.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Day 7. I had a dream that I was confident, I had good relationships with my classmates, I calmly looked into their eyes and smiled, not expecting judgment.

But it's just a dream.

Myślę tylko o jedzeniu.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Day 6. I apologized to my friend and she wants to talk about either what happened or our friendship. But I don't have the strength or desire. I only think about the cake in the kitchen.

I only think about food.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Wczoraj czułam się bardzo niespokojnie i źle, ale kiedy wróciłam do domu i zobaczyłam jedzenie - wszystko zniknęło. I to jest przerażające.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Day 5. I had a fight with a friend.

Yesterday I felt really anxious and bad, but when I came home and saw the food - everything disappeared. And it's terrible.