WishM

Here I am again… and yet you are still here for me….

I remember back when I lived in Central cal. Before I was in love with the one I love now. Her cousin would come over. I’m here thinking why tf is this female in my room. She made it clear it was to smash and I’m like fuck. Does word get around so much that that’s all I’m good for . Haha . It was fun while it lasted . But damn I’m thinking like I know my cousins would never do me like like that and vice versa. And everyday my homie (at the time ) J would always ask if I smashed or what . Haha fuckin guy. Well shows who is who now. Fuck it . That place was a trip.

Writings over and over and producing this art . Trying to reach your mind but you’ve closed it off . “When you turn this into a song send it to me “ mf don’t listen regardless. The “pain” fuels the art . The “pain” gets the bills paid . I stayed moving . And you just lay there . You’d literally just lay there . When asked to put in and contribute to that art you’d complain. Boring as fuck when it came down to business . Now I’m down feeling like shit . Writing these thoughts . Setting the canvas with these colors . Pleasing to the eye but throwing salt on the wounds of the heart . Speak truth. The truth you speak to me is your truth. Think deeper . Feel deeper. Or don’t feel at all. Whatever . The choice is yours . In the end you’re depriving yourself of the gifts being given to you from the heart . I keep pushing . I’m not liking for love in one corner of the world . In the end you’ll get left .. again...why? Because it’s what’s your chose. Choose to take a chance rather than go with definite security . Why? Because it does no please the eye ? It is not ideal to others . All reality . Let’s die slow together. In happiness and peace . Or alone. It’s your choice. Who am I to say anything .