Kirkodile's tears of happiness

"...the reason why Spock reacts differently to Uhura’s “sacrifice” and Jim’s is that Uhura on Kronos is doing her job, there’s the risk of getting hurt (we’re talking about unfriendly Klingons), yes, but it’s part of the job; Jim, on the other hand, is walking straight into what Spock foresees is a mortal trap". This explains only why Uhura did it, but not Spock's reaction. Part of job or not, if your loved one is in danger, you worry about them regardless. The nature of a risk has nothing to do with your feelings for the one, that's dear to you. And mind you: for Jim "part of his job" is actually going down with the ship and sacrificing himself for the crew. The exact thing he does later, in the reactor. And Jim teaming up with Khan by the time also was their "only logical option". Yet Spock's reaction was completely different. And as for Uhura, she also was in mortal danger: a Klingon literally had her by the throat. Again: please, rewatch that scene to see the expression on Spock's stoic face, and also see, who is actually the first one to dash out of the shuttle to save her (hint: NOT Spock). https://kirkodiletears.tumblr.com/post/668398357625143296

I mean, his emotional reaction to Jim and to Uhura are so different - they are simply incomparable. Only the one, who doesn't want to see, will not see the difference.

As for Beyond, you've described it the way, how obviously the producers wanted people to see it. But, as it often happens when working with the characters that have such strong personalities, - the characters had their own idea how the plot should unfold. I rewatched all of AOS movies recently and very attentively. The problem is, the way the producers wanted things to be seen doesn't make any sense: as soon as you start looking at it this way, there are obvious plot holes in the scenario and the whole thing does not come together: the narrative line and the character arcs fall apart and the motivation and the behavior of the characters themselves becomes questionable. And as soon, as you start analyzing it all, looking deeper into the characters' behavior, the picture becomes completely different. Of course, it's all down to interpretation. But to interpret something you have to have an actual source material, you can only interpret things that exist. "Nothing will come of nothing": you cannot interpret what's not there. And there are things, that can be seen quite clearly. This is precisely the reason, why it's so easy for spirk ficwriters do do such a great job, when writing post-Beyond, or post-STID: they don't have to contradict the scenario: just have to stick to it and read it attentively, and the rest practically writes itself. https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/kirkodiletears/668555645887397888

"She’s respectful of his differences, of his being Vulcan, he gets annoyed and gets into his face when necessary but always respecting the fact Spock is a Vulcan." That's it: she is respectful. But that says nothing about his feelings for her. "She’s the closer a human could be to a Vulcan." PRECISELY! And this the exact reason, why they work so well as friends and do not work at all as a romantic couple: their personalities do not complement and balance, but rather disbalance each other, amplifying each other's good and bad sides instead of balancing them out. He behaves very Vulcany around her. And don"t forget: he is actually half-Human. He runs to save her in Beyond? Well, of course he does! FFS: he was with this woman for years! By his own explanation to Jim "it's only logical"(c) that he goes to save her. She is a close person to him: he identifies his feelings for her as "affection and respect"(c). But this says absolutely nothing about the nature of those feeling being specifically romantic. The viewer is expected to assume by default, that it's "romance", simply because they are shown as a couple. But if we look closer at their interaction and analyze their behavior between themselves and others, we see a different picture: we see, that the message, that producers are trying to send to the audience about the nature of those characters supposed relationship contradicts their actual behavior on screen. The problem is, unlike friendship or respect, or being, as you said before, a "safe" choice (which is understandable on it's own, but all has to do with logic, not feelings), love is all about feelings and emotions. And it is not logical and has nothing to do with a "safe" choice. Even, when it comes to Vulcans: when you have real feelings for someone, you can not choose "to feel, or not to feel": you simply DO feel and cannot help it, that's the whole point and definition of "being in love"! That's why the "idealistic relationship" interpretation doesn't really work either: that's precisely Spock's explanation ("Niyota, You mistake my choice not to feel, for my lack of caring. The truth is precisely the opposite (c)) But as we see later, it actually appears to be bullshit, and it's evident, that when Spock really feels, he cannot control it. (Kirk: "How did you choose not to feel?" Spock: "I do not know: right now I am failing". (c)) This is the extreme situation, when Jim is dying, yes, but if we follow Spock's reaction to Jim throughout the whole movie and analyze it, we can see, that he is "failing not to feel" practically all the time, when Jim is involved. And this is a huge contrast with his behavior when being around Uhura. It's so demonstratively obvious, - it's embarrassing. And yes - you are right: this is exactly, what's happening in the movies: Uhura does feel a "safe" and logical choice for Spock and he is completely in control of his emotion towards her. And this is precisely what's wrong with their relationship. Even Quinto himself in one of his interviews said, that she makes him more Vulcan. But is it really what a human woman should do? I don't think so. Their relationship feel unequal and one-sided: in her eyes there are feelings. In his.... feelings, but not for her. Even at the end of Beyond: he is standing by her side, eying his captain, following him with the gaze, filled with sadness and longing!

"I don’t call it “toxic” when you stand by the person you love during their psychological turmoils." "Standing by" has many definitions. To stand by your friend, to help and support him is noble and good. As a friend. But to remain in a relationship, that's supposed to be "romantic" with all the issues mentioned above and below - yes: it is unhealthy.

This is exactly, what feels toxic for me: "she understands", "she respects", "she initiates the kiss", "she saves", it's always her-her-her, who's taking the initiative. But never Spock (accept when he decides to leave). This is not healthy: the relationship has to be from both sides. Like the ones of Jim and Spock: they complete, define and complement each other perfectly. And they both grow in this relationship, their characters develop naturally, simply by interacting. In Beyond they have minimum screen time together, and yet we see, how they are "on the same wave". You wrote, that he is Vulcan, and that's the reason he is emotionally reserved with Uhura. But as we see, it's not really the case: when it comes to Jim, his behavior changes and he is suddenly all about initiative, feelings and emotions. His interaction with Jim shows, that he can actually feel and be very emotional. Just not with Uhura. And she is actually the one, who's supposed to be his romantic interest. Yet we see, that it's Jim, that makes him feel and express his emotions and not her. She cannot even reach him emotionally by herself: she has to turn to Jim for help! Yet Jim doesn't need the third party's help to evoke emotions in Spock and make him feel: it just happen naturally, when they are together. In the shuttle on their way to Kronos she tries to reach Spock, appealing to his feelings. And she fails: he starts talking logically. To which Jim comments: "Not exactly a love song, Spock!" And he is right: it's not! But this is the way Spock is with Uhura! Then she turns to Kirk for help and when Jim addresses Spock's emotions, he immediately elicits the right emotional reaction from him: Spock starts talking about his feelings. When Spock's beating up Khan, Uhura's shouting, trying to reach him once again, and once again - in vain: no matter how many times she begs him to stop, he doesn't hear her, until she uses "the magic word": "Kirk"! And this immediately gets his attention! You can see it all clearly in the movie! You remember, how exactly Spock saves her from Krall? Well, the thing is: he doesn't - it's her, that saves them both at the end. He just falls on the ground, weak and useless. But when Jim is in danger, Spock forgets all his injuries and turns into a Superman: it seems, that Jim's presence itself gives him "wings" and purpose. And those are precisely the feelings, that can be associated with "being in love". And the fact, that it's Jim that makes him change his mind is also quite clear: it's all in Spock's facial expression. Quinto's acting is brilliantly accurate there. It's psychology: when we make the decision, our facial expression change, and that is exactly what we see happening to Spock: the look on his face tells it all. You can actually pinpoint the exact moment, when his heart changes. And later on, going through Spock Prime's belongings and finding the photo of them all on the bridge only confirms his decision to stay. (His mimics, again.) And he stays. But the bifurcation point of his decision was in the shuttle with Jim.

"He understands what Prime told him, about doing what’s right: in the photo he sees what Prime meant. Spock’s best destiny is being part of that family." Actually, what Spock Prime was saying, is that Spock and Jim needed each other and define each other in a way he would not yet realize by the time. He was talking specifically about Jim Kirk: not the Starfleet, Enterprise, or the crew in general.

The whole idea of Abrams to give Spock a "romantic interest" was a failure from the start, because, that this kind of person already exists for Spock simply by default: their growing closeness is just a matter of time. And it's not Uhura and never could be. Not because she is "not good enough", - she is a wonderful character of her own, - but this place in Spock's life is already taken by another person: "Two halves of one whole" - is not the creator's description of Spock and Uhura's relationship, but of another person and Spock's: Jim Kirk. And their relationship has strong sexual vibes as well as other levels of closeness. And it makes absolutely no difference, if those vibes are brought to life or resting as a potential: those two are a couple, regardless of all. You see, when Abrams created Spock/Uhura couple, he didn't do his homework: in one of the interviews he confessed, that he had no idea about the original material and the characters he was working with.

And it shows: he, according to his heteronormative views, just saw a man and a woman and pushed them together regardless. But it's not enough for a pairing to work as a romantic couple. They would work well as friends, for example: they have this mutual dynamics. And they do perfectly in so many fanfics. But as a love couple they couldn't possibly work. Because those characters already had a specific dynamics and established personalities, and Spirk exists not because it was put there by someone, but because it's a natural dynamics of the two characters, which define each other perfectly. And they are NOT "Paul McCartney and John Lennon": what Kurtzman and Orci were trying to twist them into being. TOS, AOS - doesn't matter. They are Kirk and Spock: they possess their unique individual qualities, that distinguish them as characters, and they have been endowed with a very distinctive kind of mutual dynamic. This is why the special word, - t'hy'la, - had to be created to describe their exceptional closeness. And if there will be Kirk and Spock together - there will always be spirk. It is due to the character's personalities themselves. No wonder, that their characters are drifting to their original dynamics: it's natural for them, it's simply the way they are.