the queen of disaster

lo'ak scoffs, eyeing his mother as he shrugs off her gentle hold on him. she can't help but raise her eyebrows in surprise, eyes wide as she watches how he rebuilds his walls back up, shoving everyone and everything out.

"mom, i don't see them in that way." he mutters, a hint of annoyance in his tone. it almost sounds like he's trying to convince himself more so than her, but in return, neytiri sighs heavily at his words.

she nods understandingly, beaded braids clacking against each other as she coughs up her last piece of advice, hoping to push him in the right direction. that direction being into your arms, that is.

"love is a strange thing, 'itan (son). it can build you up, while simultaneously break you down. but love — love is like a warm meal. the feeling of the forest's winds whipping past your face. it feels like the warmth of sunshine hitting your skin after a few days of rain. it makes you feel like your heart can soar higher than any ikran can. look, what i'm saying is that no matter how you see them, romantic or not, your love for them has never once wavered. it does not take much to apologize, even if you strictly see them as your best friend."

best friend.

that one simple word felt like a sturnbeest had it's entire hoof atop his chest, all the air knocked from his lungs as he tries to catch his breath. he just couldn't put his finger on how to feel, let alone even know how to apologize but he sucks it up, ultimately nodding in agreement to her whole spiel. one thing he did know for certain was that she was right.

eywa, she was always right.

neytiri can see the cogs turning in his brain, his eyes shining upon thinking of you. "thank you, ma." lo'ak says, arms engulfing her in a bone crushing hug that leaves you both lighter, a bit happier.

"now, we rest. make peace first thing in the morning," she mutters sternly before venturing past luminous plants, leaving the forest and back into the heart of the village, hometree.

the weight of his mother's words make lo'ak's head spin whilst they walk in silence. every single thing she listed during her speech was an immediate reminder of you, how he feels around you, how he truly feels for you.

his mind is pitch black, his love for you hiding in the deepest shadows within his mind.

but there you are, the light shimmering down on you and showcasing everything beautiful your being has to offer, things seem lighter — lovelier. the mere thought of you has him grinning, his heart's rhythm drumming faster against his ribcage as his mind wanders off to how to approach you tomorrow.

would you even want to see him?

the thought floats in his mind as he enters his family's hut.

lo'ak awkwardly stands at the front flap of your hut, hearing your family talk and laugh. he melts upon hearing your giggles linger in the air, the thin walls of your home doing nothing to help his aching heart. and as soon as he lifts his hand to push the flap open and announce his presence, you beat him to it.

to say you were surprised would be an understatement. your eyes grow wide in size, your clutch on the small empty basket that is perched atop your hip falters slightly upon making eye contact with him.

"hey," voice showing a clear picture of how anxious he was feeling. his hand retreats from it's former position to rub the nape of his neck. "who is at the door, 'eveng (child)?" you hear your mother ask. biting your tongue, you wave her off, "it is no one, mama."

as you turn back to face lo'ak, you watch a frown melt into his features, brows knitting together. "we need to talk." he states, fingers itching to reach out and touch you.

you don't reply, simply walking past him as if he weren't there. your silence doesn't stop him from following you into the forest, trailing behind you like a lost baby palulukan as you do your daily chores of collecting herbs for your mother.

your hands push leaves and vines out of the way, only to have them released as quickly as you shove past them. every single piece of foliage snapping back instantly, hitting him in the face without fail.

he deserves it, he knows he does, especially after the way he had treated you for the past month. but he follows through, never letting up as his strides turn longer to match your pace.

"anything i can help you with?" he simply asks, watching you crouch down to pick up a cluster of yarrow flowers and gently place them in your weaved basket. you continue to ignore him, wordlessly scurrying away in search of more herbs.

"great talk." he sarcastically whispers, chasing after you once more.

you had been at it for a total of two hours, basket full of plants per your mother's request. throughout said hours, lo'ak continued to converse with himself, following you everywhere while doing so. you can't help but pray to eywa, asking — begging her to shut him up.

he was getting on your nerves, your blood beginning in a soft simmer only to reach boiling temperatures, threatening to spill over as the day goes on. you wanted this to be a calm day, a well-deserved rest day to yourself, something you looked forward to, but no... lo'ak decided now was a great time to apologize.

you stop in your tracks, standing still as you inhale deeply, knuckles turning white as your grip on the basket handle tightens. trying to regulate your breathing pattern, lo'ak continues to speak to himself, chest almost bumping into your back upon the sudden change in pace.

"lo'ak." you say calmly and his name sounds like a melody falling past your lips, even if your tone was doused heavily with venom. he silently thanks eywa before humming in response.

"what do you want from me?" you seethe, swirling around to face him. his ears flatten against his skull as he watches your eyes hold nothing but hatred, a huge contrast on how they would usually twinkle as you look up at him.

his jaw drops slightly, unsure of how to continue, mainly because he didn't think he would get this far. "i-i-" he stumbles, simple words getting caught in his throat.

you look back at him expectantly, "i wanted to say that i'm sorry." he speaks out.

your eyes roll before he can even utter another word, turning away from him and walking further into the forest. with your tail swishing from side to side, it soon became clear to him that you were beyond pissed. lo'ak stands there stupidly, attempting to regain his bearings while mentally slapping himself for his less than graceful attempt of an apology.

he quickly follows you, practically running as he grabs ahold of your wrist. his touch is gentle, nowhere near aggressive as he urges your body to spin around and face him. you tug your arm from his grasp, "what?" you bark at him.

his body flinches at the loud boom of your voice, hands falling to his sides despite that annoying itch to hold you. he cautiously takes a step towards you, hands hesitating to grab your smaller ones as he inches closer.

"i am sorry." he says softly, voice smoother than a arrow hitting bullseye.

you look at him, anger and bitterness still held within your scorching hot gaze. he hesitantly rests his shaky hands on your shoulders, and for a moment, for just a split second, he watches your eyes subtly glaze over with concern upon seeing the sadness on his face. the smallest of smiles graces his lips as your eyes begin to show every single thought that races in your beautiful mind.

and you quickly catch onto this, mentally and physically pushing him away as your gaze casts downward, choosing to fiddle with the handle of the basket in your hands.

you're back to shooting daggers with your big eyes, a mental block set up to where lo'ak can no longer see what you're thinking of. his frown easily returning.

"sorry for what exactly... for saying that i am not worth staying here for?" you scoff, creating a bigger distance by taking a lengthy step back, but that only makes him take three steps forward in return.

"oh, c'mon! that is not what i meant, and you know it." he says with a soft voice, a sweet one. your brows furrow, annoyed with how easily you were giving into him. "you wouldn't have said it if you weren't already thinking it." your voice is shaky, nowhere near confident as you attempt to state facts.

he huffs, frustration evident. "please, you know i would never do anything to hurt you. what i said was stupid, i am stupid, but hear me out!" he begs, daring you to listen as he continues to step closer. the palm of your hand sternly lays in the middle of his chest, physically putting a pin in his pursuit of you.

you feel his erratic heartbeat against your fingertips, your gaze egging him on as his words begin to pique your interest. lo'ak places his larger hand over yours, the one that's nestled right where his heart is. he closes his eyes in content upon feeling your skin on his, sighing happily before speaking.

"you are my best friend. you always have been, and i can never picture a life without you in it," he begins, eyes still closed. "ever since we were little, you were the only person who didn't think of me as a freak. you remind me of who i truly am, not for who my family thinks i should be. you make me feel safe, at home." his hold on your hand tightens upon spilling his feelings towards you.

he exhales sharply, opening his eyes to bore into yours, "my heart... it yearns for you. for your touch, your voice, everything. i cannot, and will not think of a life without you in it. if i had things my way, i would happily spend my entire life reminding you how much i love you," he confidently speaks up.

"that i'm in love with you."

silence consumes you both, air thick and difficult to breathe in. his eyes graze over your features, love growing within his pupils as he waits for your response.

"t-this is unexpected," you whisper with a slight rasp in your voice.

you close your eyes to avoid his prying gaze, opting to lean your forehead onto his chest. despite feeling his racing heartbeat against your hand, being close allows you to hear how hard the muscle thumps, how it beats for you.

lo'ak melts within your touch, your scent wafting into his nostrils as he allows himself to bask in your glory.

he listens to how your breathing slows down, your cold body warming up instantaneously upon feeling the pads of his fingers run over your skin, leaving goosebumps in it's wake.

"look at me, please." he begs quietly, bringing your linked hands up to his lips, leaving kisses upon each of your knuckles before manually placing your arms around his waist.

you can't stop your arms from bringing him closer, bodies flush against one another as his hands trail down to the small of your back. your eyes glance upward, grazing over every single white freckle that adorns his face.

"i love you too, lo'ak."

your voice is quiet, sweet and gentle as you hold eye contact. lo'ak's heart bursts upon hearing the words he so desperately wanted to hear you say, his smile doubling in size. he pulls you in closer, head dipping low to meet your height.

"kiss me." you whisper, hands playing with his the ends of his braids. he purrs uncontrollably when he begins to feel your fingers scratch at the base of his neck, reeling his lips closer to yours.

"with pleasure." lo'ak whispers suavely, leaning in to leave one fleeting kiss. then two. then three. okay... maybe four.

[ tag. ] @l5byrinth @tonowariiss

⋆ ˚｡ ୨୧ reblogs and feedback are highly appreciated . . . thank you so much for reading . . . enjoy your stay !

★ diwata's notes . . . this kinda sucked im so sorry... i was high writing this so it might not be as good as i thought it was LOL but i kinda liked how it came out?? idk i was gonna split this up into a 3 parts but i might do like a bonus blurb or smth where reader n lo'ak r happy n slaying or wtv but enjoy!