A.K.

waking up afraid

thoughts racing and pacing

my heart, too fast, beating.

limbs all frozen 

and moving not possible, 

still not awoken

but my eyes are open.

the first thought - death

and death, and death again

until i tell myself i am alive

and i breathe, i can’t move my mouth but i breathe - 

Under dark clouds

Frozen hearts on tracks

And our moves so loud

I’m still missing the sun

And your sweet sound

The road ahead was long

But now it’s gone down

The bottles rattled on

And fell to the ground

I looked up to your eyes

They reminded me of hounds

The words were daggers

And we’re gone now

But I’m thinking of you

When we go South

This is torturous

This is torturous

I’m looking for something 

To hold onto

But it’s all gone

And now you’re gone

And I have nothing

But this little penny that I hold

You wanted California,

Your free spirit had wounds

Your poems cried out loud

But he wouldn’t take clues

The news came in

And we both felt worthless

Knowing you’d be gone

Anything would hurt less

This is torturous

This is torturous

His words cut deeper

Than a sword could

I hate his guts

I hate his guts

And my rain falls onto this

Penny I hold

This is torturous

This is torturous

His words cut deeper

Than a sword could

I hate his guts

I hate his guts

And I have nothing

But this little penny that I hold