Buy a Thneed today!

Wha-?

Looks like our time’s up.

Yeah, let’s blow this joint before shit gets nasty.

Wh- What the hell are you talking about, Mustache? What’s going on???

I -...

.......

Uh, thanks, but that doesn’t really simplify -

anything.

ENOUGH! What is going on here!?

Yikes, calm down, will ya? And don’t mind us, or well, don’t mind yourself?

Eh, anyway. We, yourselves... We’re just a distraction, y’see? Nothing to worry your head off for, honestly!

The real party starts later, buddypal.

Wh- The real party? Distraction? “Yourselves”? What in the bloody fuck are you two talking about??? Also where did that hat come fr-

... Ah, nevermind. Looks like the guest of honour is already here.

There, better? And do try to not look so miserable, we’ve gotten ugly enough as it is without your nasty frown wrinkles screwing things up even more.

Uhm... What exactly is going-

Wow, really. Mocking yourself?

Sheesh, is this the kind of person I turn into when I'm older? No thanks!

Well, uhm, I... Huh, I can't really remember why? Suppose I just don't want to look old or anything like that while I meet with potential clients later today. But you're right mother, of course I look fine.

And why wouldn't I!

Business is going great! Everyone loves us and more customers are lining up to purchase their very own Thneed as we speak!

Soon we'll be ready to expand further to increase the production rate, advance beyond the borders and go global! A few years from now and everyone across the world will have thneeds in their home.

Hm. You sure of this, Oncie?

Mother?

You haven't taken a single peek in the ledgers lately, have you?

Or even glanced over any vital paperwork in months?

W-Well, no, not really... But only because you told me to not bother with that, since I'm not smart enough to understand half of it anyway.

You've always been much better with numbers and legal documents than I, so that's why I left you in charge of it. I thought that's what you wanted... And that the company is doing fine like this... Isn't it?

Oh, Oncie...

Well, uhm, I suppose it wouldn't be too troublesome to-

[bzzt-bzzt-bzzt]

Uhhh...

[bzzt-bzzt]

"Sweet stuff"? Postcard??? Guess they must've gotten the wrong number, whoever "they" now are. Ugh, you'd think people would know to make sure they have the right information-

[bzzt-bzzt-bzzt]

.......

I wouldn't say it's dark at all. It's not exactly light either, but a greyish inbetween?

... Come to think about it, I haven't noticed the weather being any different from this for quite some time. It hasn't been sunny, dark or even raining any of the times I've looked out through a window.

Hmm...

...

Bah, probably just that pesky Mustache playing his tricks on me again. Nice try buddy, but I'm still not going to move away from here.