Oh its you, that I lie with.
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Aventurine x gn bodyguard (ex assassin) reader ┊⇢Part.1 ┊Part 1/2 of 1.5 ┊
As The World Caves In (Matt Maltese) ▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||။၊|• 2:42
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ׂ╰┈➤
tw/cw: Some Penacony spoilers, not proofread so some spelling mistakes, we die, I love this blond to death but I need to torture him, reader’s a ex assassin so there’s thoughts of violence etc, it’s more introspective than anything on how reader handles emotions, no happy ending cause I hate happiness 🩶
note(s): I kept procrastinating on this, I’m so cool…. /jj +tagss: @walpurg @rxzennia @sh1-n0bu tripled the angst bc yall wanted a tag 🎀, Penacony focused part is inspired by my moot’s fic , I FINALLY LEARNT COLOURED TEXTT
summary: even after death, the human brain replays its best memories for 7 minutes.
(word count: 7.3k)
ׂ╰┈➤ [𓏵]- your name
> Smell is the first sense to go when dying, as your breathing halts. Sight is the next sense to die, as vision goes black when blood leaves the head from heart failure. Touch starts to fail when blood drains from the skin and limbs, and lastly, hearing is the final sense to go, as ears will carry sound into the dead head till the brain finally ceases life.
——
Your body is still warm, your hands beside your body as you slump against the wall. Eyes open, though there’s no spark in them as gold trickles down the corner of your mouth. The last few seconds of your life had been agony as you felt the dull ache slowly fade with your life, the world going black. You will die alone, just as fate foretold.
Life has not been kind to you at all. You, a poor child who was blessed by the Ruin Author, destined to be always played, to be a pawn, to be a puppet, and ultimately, a vessel of pure chaos. Your fate can never steer its path no matter how hard you have tried. Perhaps that charming blond was your sole escape as your life ran its course.
You aren’t breathing, your chest has stilled amidst the movement of time, of words and of actions, but your mind flashes through scenes that play rapidly before your eyes. The world may have been bleak and meaningless, but amidst that, there was colour that made your heart beat ever so faster.
ׂ╰┈➤ (0 minutes.)
“Go, assassin. Spread the seeds of destruction across every corner of the galaxy.”
Those were the Duke’s parting words to you as you were sent on your next mission, the chilling warmth of the mansion bidding you farewell. Ever-Flame’s mansion’s greatest and deadliest assassin the galaxy has seen in its billions of life cycles, the most ruthless planets have ever had the displeasure of knowing about. Poison, bullets, blades, what came into your hand was either used to destroy, or destroyed.
The next target the Annihilation Gang set their sights on were the IPC. A rich corporation striving for galaxy wide peace, and the most dedicated followers of the Preservation, the complete opposite of the people who have nurtured your nature.
Your specific target was a particular blond. No pictures, no voice memos the Duke could give you, but he told you it would be obvious when the time came. The only issue was that the man, Aventurine of the Ten Stonehearts, was far too difficult to assassinate swiftly.
Most of your targets were people who opposed the ideals of Destruction, or those whom Everflame Mansion held personal vendettas against. You don’t ask, you don’t pry, you just move within the shadows and strike. It doesn’t matter if they were innocent nor evil. That was your purpose, your only purpose in this miserable life. They were for the most part, easy targets, no power to hire protection, no idea that they were going to take their last breath as they sipped poison or had a bullet crammed solid in their skull.
But Aventurine… so you’ve heard, is rather difficult to locate and pin down. Elusive, a tough task it would be, to try and take him out without knowledge of the places he goes, the tasks he deals with. So your next option? Undercover job to get close to him. In other words, a bodyguard.
It wouldn’t be the first time. But this would be a different playing field. You’d need to wait, play the long game while you slowly chip away the layers upon layers that the Stoneheart would have most definitely built around him, and strike him when he’s at his lowest. You never got attached. Attachment, relationships, love, was a weakness. That moral of that you were taught at a young age. This is a game with only one winner.
There were soft whispers and gasps around you as you strode down the hall. You didn’t think you looked too remarkable, rather, it was the reason you were there that sent waves through the gossip columns. Diamond, hiring a personal bodyguard, for one of the strongest people the IPC has ever had in their system.
It drove the point across, that no matter how powerful you were, there was no guaranteed chance you were untouchable. The people in the elevator, despite their black and gold plated face masks covering their expressions, kept a slight distance from your form. A normal person would feel uncomfortable, but you simply pretended they didn’t exist. Missions always require you to stay on the target.
Finally, the lift bell chimes behind you as you strode out of the lift, your feet touch the glassy, marbled floor of what you knew was Diamond’s office. Nothing super flashy, just enough to show off his wealth, but not enough to be considered gaudy or over the top. And there he was, standing in front of Diamond, whom you immediately knew was Aventurine.
It was as if the world became muted around you when you made eye contact with him. Blond, charming smile that you saw on most targets, and those eyes. Purple, with the most dazzling, breathtaking, blue to accompany his diamond shaped pupils. New experiences were hard to come by for you due to the nature of your job and by extent, your life, but this slotted into that category perfectly.
“Ah, so you must be the bodyguard Diamond personally hired to accompany me, hm?”
That voice, smooth as butter, and the undertone of cunning. You stiffen, though your hand still reaches out to shake his. He’s like all of them. You have an idea how he truly operates, manipulation being his obvious habit would be a give away if everyone could read emotions as well as you did.
“Yes. I am [𓏵]. I will be your bodyguard, for what I presume is the foreseeable future.”
Aventurine laughs, it’s a fake, light laugh you see through instantaneously as your hand pulls away before his own does. Manipulative, cunning, a textbook definition for at least 75% of the people you’ve gotten their blood on your hands before.
He was the lone mouse in the desert, while you were the prowling lion, hungry for prey. For blood.
“I look forward to working with you.”ׂ
╰┈➤ (1 minute.)
Long game it was. It took six months to find a crack in Aventurine’s armor, to find that weakness amidst all the walls he’d put up around himself, and even then, it took a extreme amount of patience and putting up with his antics almost every day for this moment to happen.
You know his inner workings, for the most part. Aventurine of the Ten Stonehearts was a senior manager of the Strategic Investment Department at the IPC. And he was filthy rich, seriously, you dont think you’ve seen anyone spend so much money without a care. Richer than many, if not, all the people who have been felled by your hand. A man of such high caliber, you’re surprised no one has tried to backstab him sooner.
Aventurine has a fondness for spending money on you. It is slightly flattering, as it was rare that your undercover jobs had your targets treating you kindly, but that was at the start. Eventually, it became obvious that it was mostly to… buy your loyalty. It was as if he already knew you weren’t actually there to protect him.
Aventurine also has a fondness for casinos and poker games. That was made abundantly clear when during the first night of your employment, he’s already dragging you to one of the most famous casinos in a planet you’ve forgotten the name of, and it seemed, from the gazes of other patrons, you knew he definitely reaped the fruits of his luck every time there.
You played the role flawlessly. Staying by Aventurine’s side, looking like a menacing threat to whoever shot a glare that was too nasty for your taste, making sure those he played against didn’t come too close for your liking, and essentially, doing your job as a bodyguard. With your stature and the way your lips purse into thin lines almost every hour, it wasnt hard.
That night, after half a year of patience, of prowling the darkness, slowly, meticulously chipping away parts of the confident and suave man you ‘guard’, you found a peek in the cracks. During the initial start of your employment, drinks that Aventurine took were always in his line of sight, even as he cracked jokes with the women and men who are getting a bit too handsy for people he doesnt know, as he playfully tried to convince you to take a shot.
“C’mon, [𓏵], lighten up! You’ve been such a great bodyguard, take a break.”
His voice, though was annoying at first, you’ve grown used to the way his words roll off his tongue, flawless and almost rehearsed as he slid a glass of whiskey towards your hands that were crossed on the table, and you remain silent as you shake your head, though you swirl the brown liquid in a attempt to appease him.
It does the trick. You watch as he gets up and pushes past the people fawning over him, his drink left behind on the bar table as he seats himself comfortably on one of the sides of the poker table. The small bottle of thallium sits in your suit pocket, and your hands slip into it to wrap around the bottle.
But you hesitate. You’re not fixated on the drink, you’re fixated on Aventurine. You can’t tear your eyes away from the way his smile is infuriatingly charming, how he smirks when the person across him loses for what you’ve counted was the ninth time in a row that night. You can’t tear your eyes away from the way his rose tinted glasses hide that breathtaking shade of his eyes.
This… this isn’t how you are supposed to feel. Hesitation was not in your nature. If this was any other person, you’d dump the thallium in the drink, wait for them to down it and pretend to worry and be concerned when they start to convulse on the floor and vomit violently, then make your escape. That was how it always was. That was how it was supposed to be.
But your hands don’t move, they clench around the small bottle, fingers trembling ever so briefly as you gaze at the half finished drink, and you recall the irony of the situation you find yourself in.
“I presume the mission is underway, [𓏵]?”
“It is. It shall be done tonight.”
That was your reply to Duke Inferno mere hours ago. And you have never gone back on your words. The consequences if you do are never pretty. Your hand leaves the pocket, and it finds the communication earpiece, not the IPC issued one, but the one you have to resume contact with Ever-Flame mansion. Your hand opens it as you toss it into your glass of whiskey, watching as the device sunk into the brown liquid.
Your footsteps thud silently across the carpeted floor of the casino, making your way to your place beside Aventurine, and the man who was about to get up and presumably spew insults at the gambler sat back down, hesitantly gazing at your subtle scowl as your eyes trail his movements.
“Ah, so you finally decided to stop moping around, hm?”
Aventurine grins mischeivously at you, crossing his leg over the other as he shuffled the cards in his hands, and his smile makes your heart flutter just a bit that makes you stiffen at the unfamiliar feeling, opting to nod instead of giving a verbal response.
In this proximity, you can usually tell what perfume Aventurine has decided to wear that day. Perhaps it’s luxurious, a way of flaunting his wealthy by assaulting your nostrils, or it’s a subtle, sweet fragrance, one that he rarely uses but you know he has somewhere in his closet.
But in this particular moment… you cant figure out the scent as you continue to stand still beside him.
ׂ╰┈➤ (2 minutes.)
Aventurine, for a man who only claims is your boss, and nothing more, is surprisingly open to spoiling you to his heart’s content, despite the fact half the time the items he gets you are because they caught your eye for more than a millisecond, or it’s because he ‘feels like it’.
Refusing them gets you nowhere, he’ll sneak them in front of your room when you’re showering or doing something else within his penthouse. Trying to return them? Oopsies, the receipts are either mysteriously gone or the shop is coincidentally not accepting refunds!
Today is no different. Though it isn’t in your job description, it seems being a personal bag carrier for the Stoneheart will be one of your main tasks. It’s not a hassle from the weight, the items he buys during spontaneous shopping sprees are usually clothes to fill his overflowing wardrobe.
You’ve always paid close attention to detail. You see the way his hands are always clasped behind his back, how his left index and thumb always fiddle with the watch situated nicely upon his wrist. How the area below his eyes crinkled slightly when he smiled at the receptionist. How he laughed when you refused any gifts he bought for you, no matter how much the gifts appealed to you.
Walking alongside Aventurine is therapeutic, it’s as if you really signed up for this job out of free will. Since you threw away the communication device connecting you to the Annihilation Gang, there’s a nagging worry at the back of your mind. Anxiety that plagues your very dreams when you slumber, fear that the family who nurtured your nature will take the person who has started to trickle colour into your life.
It’s not like you feel this way. You aren’t supposed to feel this way. Emotions hinder your job, they make you weak, make you vulnerable. When you look at him, you’re supposed to feel nothing, you’re supposed to only see him as a target. Staring at his face while he talks about something that goes right over your head makes you gloss over the fact he’s dragged you into a jewelry store.
“Now, now, [𓏵], lighten up with that frown, will you?”
Aventurine grins as he lightly taps your forearm, taking your hand as he guides your fingers to the box that was sitting snugly on the glass display. The diamond adorned necklaces, the bracelets resting an opal on the centres, the sapphires that make you raise an eyebrow at how gaudy the blue clashes with the gold.
Your hands reach out to gently clasp the box, fingers, used to destroy, used to cause destruction, gently open the cover as you gaze curiously at the earring that is seated on the velvet cushioning. The first thing that immediately catches your eye is how it looks like an exact replica of the earring Aventurine adorns on his left earlobe, a three pointed, turquoise coloured piece of jewelry that resembles a peacock’s feather.
“I can’t help but notice that you seem to be a bit… lackluster, for a loss of better words, dear bodyguard. I cant have someone working for me looking like that now, hm?”
Its a lie that you dont bother to point out. He’s got at least a thousand employees, maybe even more, considering how buttfuck big the IPC is, and taking into account his positon as one of the most powerful and influential people, why would he take the time to get a replica of the earring for a simple bodyguard that was expendable? Replaceable, like you always have been.
You have asked yourself this many times. The earring was the only particular jewelrly that you took willingly, and even wore without much of a argument or attempts to return to the store. First thing in the morning when you wake, you fumble around your bedside of the earring, place it on your right ear lobe, and the last thing you do before going to bed is take it off.
The reason is something you cant pinpoint. Perhaps it’s guilt, guilt for continuing your charade and lies that you had no initial motives to sign up for this job, perhaps its a sense of loyalty, afterall, youve dedicated almost a entire year to be at this man’s side, to keep him safe, to take bullets for him. Or perhaps, it’s the way you yearn to see the smile on his face one more time.
Death has never made you fear doing what you do, what you have done. Your death was something you knew was inevitable, as all living beings find themselves passing to the other side eventually, one way or the other. What you found sightly pleasing about death was how physical items gave you a accompanying comfort, as if a final tie to the life you had when on the plane of the living.
That earring had broken into pieces during the events leading to your death. Even the feeling of blades stabbing into your flesh, making you gag and choke on the molten gold that had replaced your life essence as you stared at the shattered, shining bits that you cherished. The feeling of passing in sorrow, unable to hold onto the one object that you prayed you could bring with you in death was indescribable.
ׂ╰┈➤ (3 minutes.)
“Funny, isnt it?”
How you ended up in this situation, you have absolutely no clue. Aventurine, in true fashion, had tempted you with a simple two truths, one lie game. Tell two truths, one lie, and if the other guesses all three correctly, the party who came up with the truths and lies take a shot. And in true Aventurine luck, he had successfully guessed all of your truths and lies.
You kept it simple, truths of mundane things you have done before, but nothing about your job before meeting the blond, and small tweaks to the truths to make it a technical lie. Two truths and one lie were childish games that you thought yourself to be above, and games you thought Aventurine to be above, you’d have expected him to make you play a game of dice or poker.
Aventurine guessed every single one of your lies, your truths, and the amount of whiskey you have downed at 9pm on a Thursday night is making your head start to spin. A normal human would have been passed out drunk on the island countertop, but you weren’t a normal human, therefore, you are groggy but remain standing.
It is then that the gambler before you starts to open up. Through blurred vision and muffled hearing as you stared at him tap his right index finger on the marble, his eyes gaze at what you presume is his own reflection in his whiskey, and he gives you a half hearted smile while tilting his head up.
“Well, it’s my turn, hm? Let’s begin.”
“One, I’ve ordered another custom suit for you, dear [𓏵].”
Truth, though you don’t guess it out loud, but this was rather predictable for him. But something else briefly snaps you out of your hazy state.
It’s the way he says your name, but with the word ‘dear’ right in front of it. You’ve listened to most of his terms of endearment, ranging from ‘stone wall’ to grumpy cat’. The last one is one that he used to describe you rather than call you directly, though in your fuzzy minded state you’re not really sure if that counts.
“Two, I’ve lost a game in the casino before.”
A very obvious lie. Not only have you accompanied him around to know that he has never lost a single game, you also know, from asking around with IPC employees who once saw Aventurine play before and by consulting logs from casinos he’s frequented before your employment, that he has won every game.
There’s a silence after he speaks, and you can see him gazing fondly at your half drunken state, his hand clenchinga round the cup as he chuckled softly, sounding hesitant as he took off his watch, setting it on the countertop before speaking.
“Third, I was bought for 60 copper coins.”
There’s a pause as the words fail to register in your mind for a few seconds as you shoot your head up before it smacks the marble corner, staring wide eyed at Aventurine as you realize he isnt able to meet your gaze. The way he stares at his own reflection in the honey brown liquid, how his hands tremble as he struggle to continue his words.
“I may have money too much for me to spend now, i may have bank accounts full of gold and riches people can only dream to possess a fraction of. But the truth is, I was once one of these very possessions.”
Typical Aventurine. Only opening up to you the only way he knows how. Through a game, and he doesnt even elaborate on what he tells you.
“This branding on my neck? It’s a sign of my past. It’s a sign that no matter what, I will always be a pawn in a bigger game, and that is something I’ll never be able to run from.”
The way he speaks, it’s bitter, almost empty. So dull and so… vulnerable, unlike the man you know that signs your paychecks and drops gifts at your room door. This was a man who was broken, with no life left in his eyes, no true purpose as he wanders aimlessly in the confines of his own mind, unable to face his demons.
“...Perhaps… we should stop, sir. You have a long day tomorrow.”
You haven’t guessed out loud the truths and lie, but you croak out the words nonetheless, grunting with effort as you push your weight off the countertop, trying your best to not stumble over your own two feet as you wobble over to Aventurine, hesitantly inching out to take the glass away from the gambler’s hand, though your a bit surprised when he shakes his head and holds onto it tighter.
“One more game. Tell me your truths and lie.”
There’s a weak smile on his face, and there’s a sort of emotion that blazes wildy in his beautiful purple eyes, it takes you a few seconds to register what it was.
Fear. Fear that you’ll leave and never look back, disgusted by his past.
A sigh escapes you as you stand gingerly beside him, grabbing his whiskey glass as you gaze at him, though you’re pretty sure if you stand upright any longer you’ll kiss the ground.
“Of course, sir.”
You finally soldier up and fight the increasing hazy drowsiness as you blink rapidly, gazing at Aventurine’s face. But you find yourself unable to remember how he looks. The view of him, despite being seated right beside you, is blurred, hazy and a mess of colours.
ׂ╰┈➤ (4 minutes.)
Your feet carry you through the park with frightening speed as you push past the people who have come to clamour around the theme park’s entrance, enteirng the area to find the Astral Express standing in the rain, the Galaxy Ranger who now has grey instead of a purple shade of hair, and the screen that has a ominous, red slash cutting clean through it, merging in with the sky, with the man who had threatened Penacony nowhere to be seen.
You had feared this sort of outcome. Aventurine was a man who would forever be at least ten steps ahead of everybody, no matter if in the moment, it seemed as if he would be dealt the losing hand, therefore, despite your many attempts to dissuade him, he went ahead with the plan anyways.
But even an avid gambler has thier losses.
It was a stupid idea, letting him go to Dewlight Pavillion by himself, you never trusted that purple haired man enough to temporarily take your place, but Aventurine had said it was for the plan to work best. You’d though he was pleased with the outcome, but he didnt come back to the hotel room.
You’d texted him with a phone you barely use, probably spammed more messages than necessary, and you didn’t even receive a reply back for nearly two system hours. Thousands of things that could have gone wrong, have gone wrong, race your mind, keeping your heart pounding as you had scrambled through the streets of Penacony’s Golden Hour, narrowly avoiding cars and drunk people as you try to find a glimpse of him.
There’s a overwhelming relief when you finally see him, conversing lightly with people who’ve had too much Soulglad or are simply just in Penacony to find their footing, and you almost run to bring him in for a hug, only for you stop short, hesitating as you wonder whether you truly deserve such proximity, settling for simply standing in front of the gambler. There’s a brief bout of laughter somewhere, but it goes over your head as you barely acknowledge it,
Aventurine doesnt look exactly pleased to see you, in fact, he gives you a almost pitiful smile that could make a usually bold man like him laugh at his state.
“Ah, have you been worried for me, dear bodyguard? You’ve been texting me like a desperate employee needing approval for time off.”
It’s a weak joke, one that has you raising your eyebrow at the odd way his voice cracks when he speaks, and he shushes you before you can ask what the hell went on during that meeting.
“Nevermind that. I need you to go back to the real world and find Topaz. The Family’s planning something, and I need to stay here to make preparations. The doctor will be waiting for you outside your room.”
You’re genuinely reluctant to heed his words for the first time during your employment. First of all, he hasn’t explained what happened to make him look like a kicked puppy, and secondly, he is your employer, not Ratio nor Topaz, so why wasn’t he accompanying you? What could be so important in Penacony that he must remain yet you cannot?
He doesn’t relent. He doesn’t give you an answer, avoiding your questions as he orders you to return to the real world. You know he’s lying, you’ve been by his side for a few years, it would be impossible for you to not tell when he’s lying and when he’s not, and considering his hand is hidden behind his back, you know what he says has something hidden to it.
Yet, you follow Aventurine’s order. You stupidly decide that this time, you’d close one eye and pretend he’s telling you the truth. When you turned to leave, he grabs your wrist, and his mouth was open, as if his true words were stuck in his throat before he lets go, smiling sadly.
“Good luck, [𓏵].”
That was fifteen system hours ago. Returning to the real world, there’s a sense that the Mundanite is not telling you something you should know, the way Topaz gives you slightly pitiful glances as you’re busy trying to text Aventurine your updates or questioning his status and whereabouts.
It isnt until a certain lady in a veil comes up to you to give a ominous but cryptic words of how a person who has taken risks will finally see to it that their final gamble pays off, that you finally decide enough was enough, you were returning to drag Aventurine back by the collar of his shirt even if it meant getting fired.
There’s not a way to describe the way your world stops as the sounds of the Express’s navigator and the man with glasses come up to you to try and pull you away from the destruction that was once the man who gave you world colour, the way you feel your vision get blurry as you realise you were crying for the first time in years.
The woman that had caused the red slash was gone in the blink of an eye. Then there’s a bubbling rage that overwhelms you momentarily, and you feel your main instincts come back into play, to let your teachings take over and allow blood to stain your hands once more.
But you stop yourself. Because no matter if you decided to slaughter the Astral Express members who stand in front of you to offer words of comfort, to slaugher Sunday, the Family, for taking him away from you, to go toe to toe with that woman and watch Destrcution burn her alive, there will be nothing that can bring Aventurine back from his demise.
So without a word, you wander aimlessly around Penacony, and you briefly hear the pink haired girl’s words of wanting to follow you to cheer you up, and the black haired male’s voice stopping her fade behind you. Your legs carry you throughout the Golden Hour, blending in with the drunken, blissed and the gambling tourists as you slide against a wall in a alleyway, where the darkness embraces you.
Perhaps, this was what grief was. To feel the person who you have faithfully dedicated your life to, your entrie purpose to, gone. Not a trace of him left for you to even hold, and there were so many things that you had left unsaid. Perhaps this was the final emotion you had never truly felt in all its miserable glory. The chilling laughter you heard earlier briefly makes you look up at the night sky of Penacony, before you drift into a sweet dream, a small glimpse of a red herring in the corner of your eye.
Aventurine has taught you how to feel, whether intentionally or not. He’s taught you how to smile, no matter how forced it looks, he’s taught you to care, locking you in rooms with the three cake creatures who smother you affectionately, and he’s taught you what it feels like to be starstruck and how to feel like the world has erupted in a symphony of hues of joy.
When you next open your eyes, there is Aventurine trying to shake you awake, and you feel his warm body embrace tightly around yours. Your neck is sore from slumping into a very uncomfortable position in your slumber, but feeling the man’s arms drape over your shoulder, feeling the coolness of his rings against your neck, the pain is momentarily forgotten as you register his presence in your stunned state.
Grief and joy are two very different feelings. One makes your head spin as you try to process the utter feeling of devastation and the feeling of your life crashing down upon you and the other makes you feel like life has given you their greatest treasures and blessings one could ever ask for.
This is joy, you think as you gingerly embraced Aventurine, watching as beautiful lights shoot through the sky, and a warm feeling spreads through your body inexplicably, but comforting nonetheless.
But there’s something wrong about the way you cant feel his body against yours, how his warmth is replaced with a numbness.
ׂ╰┈➤ (5 minutes.)
The alcohol has surpassingly, not made your tongue too loose as you stand beside Aventurine hesitantly, fidgeting with your sleeve as you coughed, running a hand over your face that was burning up, groaning at the fact the ceiling was starting to look like it was wobbling.
“Ah… truth..”
You mumbled, trying to find another truth, a stupid one. Maybe the time you decided it was a good idea to try to prank the Duke, only to end up having to clean the mansion top to bottom? No, you’ve already said that one, minus the Duke inclusion.
There’s a silence that encases your mind as you realize that you’ve run out of something surface level to tell Aventurine, whether it’d be a cleverly concealing of your past, or a simple way to subtly jab at his habits that make you roll your eyes.
But he just lowered his final defense agaisnt you. He’d just given you a snippet, a piece of his true past, instead of whispers that float through the halls of the IPC or through records you have hesitantly combed through, only to put away from the guilt of prying.
“One… I signed up for this job out of my own free will, not because of any ulterior motives.”
You murmur, your gaze flickering to Aventurine’s face, watching his eyebrow raise slightly as he smirked slightly, though it’s clear it’s just a reflex. You know when his reactions are coming from his heart or if they were coming from years of conditioning himself to put on a image that was never real.
“I’m tempted to say it’s a lie, dear bodyguard… butI’ll go with truth.”
Uh, okay, ouch, he wanst even supposed to guess yet. You’re pretty sure the whiskey has made you loose some control over your emotions, because Aventurine’s smirk visibly dampens as he searches how your face twists into a frown. You would have never let his words affect you, well, visibly at least, if it was any other normal day.
You won’t deny he was right. You wee lying about not signing up without ulterior motives. The guilt that weighs on you, the guilt you have been carrying for many months is starting to make you crack.
You sigh as you almost slump forward, your vision blurring as you seat yourself upright again, ignoring how Aventurine’s hand briefly shoots out to hold you, before it shrinks back as you shake your head, making sure you’re okay by the sheer willpower of his eyes.
“Mm… aha. I’ve stolen candy from a girl when i was younger before for kicking my chair during class.”
It’s a lie you came up on a whim, it’s random to bring up something so insignificant during what is a serious moment, but it’s childish and petty enough that anyone would have believed it without a second thought. Who hanst been at least petty to someone once in thier lifetime before?
You raise a hand to stop him from guessing, gazing at his expression, watching it shift into one of slight confusion as he heeds your gesture. Perfect. You clear your throat, taking a chug of the whiskey that glistens under the kitchen lights, smiling to yourself sadly.
“Third. I…”
The words are caught in your throat as you stare at the pristine glass cup as you sigh, leaning back as you turn your eyes to look outside the kitchen of the penthouse, gazing in wonder at the stars that litter and dot the skies in tiny white lights. You swear that one of them, in the far far distance, form a small heart.
“I didnt actually accept this job under the pretense of wanting to protect someone. Or money.”
You decide to change what you were about to say. You can’t bring yourself to say it, not when you can feel the room swimming around you, when you know you’re half inbreviated and it will seem as if the words you utter out, especially ones that should be saved for the right time, which was certainly not now.
“I know.”
His voice is soft, with surpirisngly, no edge to it. Your gaze snaps up to stare at him, blinking incredulously at his words. He knew? He knew you were…
“Your wanted posters took a lot of money to take down you know.”
Oh fuck. He does know. He knows you’ve killed innocents, you’ve shed blood all in the name of a monster who groomed you into the being you are now.
But that… that didnt change anything. Contrary to what you thought, he didnt look angry. He didnt look betrayed, he looked… almost amused and perhaps slightly relieved. He doesnt look at you like you thought you did. Aventurine chuckles lightly at your flabbergasted expression on your presumably flushed face.
“I did feel hurt at first. But honestly, [𓏵], considering you’ve betrayed the person whom you’ve always followed, i guess my luck really is true afterall to have been the one to earn your loyalty instead~.”
The relief comes crashing over you in a tidal wave. You’ve been dreaming of this for nights, hoping to find the time to admit your true origins, to not have to keep lying to the man who perks you up every morning as you watch him pet the creatures that pounce on him while drinking your coffee. You were ready to accept he’d probably never want to see you again, he’d turn you in.
And a smile tugs at your lips.
ׂ╰┈➤ (6 minutes.)
Secrets are hard to come by from him.
Aventurine is a master deceptor. That also means he has many secrets. Even now, after you’ve peeled away what you think would have been all the walls keeping his true self hidden, there’s still so much more to unravel.
Even now, as you accompany the Astral Express, touring them around your planet because it just so happened to be their next stop after Amphoreous, you find that, perhaps you’ve shared more secrets, more of the little things about yourself than he ever has with you.
It’s a little disheartening, but you ignore that feeling when you think about the fact that he’s changed a lot since when you first met him, when all you thought of him then was a easy, predictable and snobbish target, rather than a scarred man that hides his wounds away with loose bandages of bravado and arrogance.
In the home you once lived in, dusting away the thin layer of grey that has settled over the barren furniture that you haven’t laid eyes on for years since you lost your identity to blood, Aventurine whistles as he trails after you, tapping the surfaces of the wooden table, the leather chair that sits forlornly in the corner of the room.
“Y’know, this place is terribly dreary. I can see why you don’t like coming back here often.”
He jokes, and you find yourself chortling internally alongside him. After working for the Duke, you’ve forgotten who you were before all that. Were you living a good life? Was it a terrible one? Was it unremarkable, therefore you don’t remember what it was?
It doesn’t matter. That life is one you wont ever return to. Not when you’ve found a place at last.
The rest of the day is a blur as it’s mostly the pink haired girl and the grey haired friend of hers that follow you through your planet, while Aventurine strolls alongside you while buying them anything they set their eyes on. You’re sure the vendors are very happy with the sudden mass profit.
The night that follows is quiet and serene, and you are sitting in the living room of the abandoned house, staring at the wooden boards of the floor as you fiddle gently with your sleeve. It’s close to midnight, and you cant sleep, because there have been whispers that the planet is possibly being targetted by the Annihilation Gang.
You wont admit it, but it feels like the space is closing in on you, as if all your nightmares are coming true. There was a Stellaron sealed deep in your planet, somewhere where no man has ventured deep enough to locate, which is the reason the Astral Express is here to begin with.
The people who cultivated almost your entire purpose and life, growing you like a delicate plant, who definitely swore revenge on your defiance, is coming to your planet to destroy it, and the only person you would give your life for is on this planet as well.
That is also the only comfort that is preventing you from going over the edge is the fact that Aventurine is sitting right beside you, leaning back as he scrolls through his phone. You’re surprised he isnt complaining about how tattered the couch is from years of neglect, as you breathe in slowly and exhale, calming your racing heart.
“[𓏵].”
The gambler’s voice comes out soft and hesitant, as he sets his phone down, your eyes trailing from the gold casing that you were never going to admit was tacky, to Aventurine’s eyes, watching how he stays silent for a few moments too long.
“I have a secret I want to share with you.”
The words make you raise a eyebrow. Aventurine has many secrets. Sometimes, the secrets aren’t even secrets at all, he just says the words so he can keep you hooked on what he was saying. Sure, it’s not like you dont hand onto every word that leaves his mouth half the time, noo.
The silence stretches between the two of you, but before he could tell you what he was trying to desperately to utter, a loud explosion booms through the streets, the windows of your shabby house shattering as you instinctively jump to cover Aventurine to shield him.
They are here. And from the distinct sounds of the Duke’s children, you know they are 100% here for you.
“Go, the back door is a right down the hall. Find the trailblazer and the girl and tell them what happened.”
You brush off the glass, wincing at how the sharp, thin edges slice through your palms, ignoring the pain as you turn to leave, your hand on the door knob, pausing as you feel Aventurine’s hands grab your wrist, turning back to meet his wide, almost desparete gaze.
“[𓏵], what are you doing?”
He hissed lowly, gazing at you as he tried to pull you back, back to him, back to where he at least will have the comfort of knowing you’ll at least be by his side if the time for him to perish really does come, the moment his luck runs out.
“I am looking out for you, sir, like always. I’ll come back.”
You mutter softly, though the words are uncertain, hesitant, because you know that you won’t make it back. This will be the last time you’ll see Aventurine, but you offer the reassurance anyways, because it makes your heart ache, the way the gambler is so unwilling to let you go.
“But I—”
You chuckle, gently prying the man’s hands off your wrist as your weak smile wavers ever so slightly, there’s a pounding feeling in your chest, but it doesnt reach your eyes as you instead, take his hands into yours. The raw fear that courses through you is unlike any other emotion you have felt in your life. Your death is inevitable, yet you cant seem to accept it yet.
“I will come back, sir. And when I do, you shall tell me your secret.”
The lie rolls off your tongue smoothly, leaving your lips as a definitive statement. The racing beat of your heart slows as you see Aventurine’s expression slowly morph into one of acceptance, and you watch with a heavy heart as he gives you brief smile before stepping backwards, his shoes crunching on glass as he leaves through the backdoor.
A single tear rolls down your cheek as you stare at his silhouette dissapear, though despite the pain that almsot seems to swallow you whole, as the sounds of the people who have come to take your head draws nearer, you smile bitterly as you know, the last thing you’ll remember is his smile.
The sounds of the world muffles around you as the door splinters, as your vision fades to black.
ׂ╰┈➤ (7 minutes.)
Footsteps echo through the wrecked streets of the planet that has suffered the fiery wrath of the Anihhilation Gang. The memokeeper’s heels come to a stop in front of the body that is slumped agaisnt the wall, gold liquid seeping from their wounds as the molten blood bubbles and burns through the stone pavements. There’s a cracked piece of jewelry scattered near the base of their feet.
“I hope that at the very least, these echoes of the past bring you some form of comfort before you meet your maker.”
Her hands gently find their face, two fingers closing the vacant, lifeless eyes. There’s a smile on thier face, even if ever so small. Perhaps even in death, those memories embraced them as the world around grew cold and empty. Perhaps, they won’t feel the weight of regrets of having left so much unsaid.
fin.
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