i am so fucking tired of feeling nervous. all i ever feel are varying degrees of nervousness

i feel like i can’t be close to anyone at all anymore in any way and i am so fucking sad. i just want to be held close and feel close and cry close.

“touching the pain is part of the healing process”

i dont feel like im getting happier but i do know im getting more stable and it’s annoying but i think maybe hopefully that means eventually ill feel the good more consistently one day

my worry is eating away at my stomach lmao

man for once im pretty sure why my body is throwing a fit and exactly what i need doctors to check for but its such a lose lose situation bc i dont want to have to deal with it if im right and if im not right and they say its nothing ill lose it lmao

i am getting better, one day i will start feeling better too.

idea: i got top surgery one day and tell my mom its to avoid breast cancer? lmaoo

everything makes me want to hit things which means i know im frustrated which is probably why ive been wanting to hurt myself but i dont know why im so fucking frustrated and i dont know what i need or what will help and that makes me more frustrated and everything sucks and i hate being nervous of myself

i stumped the crisis call worker LMAO

‪at least u love me in my dreams‬

robyn keeps on saying i need to externalize my feelings somehow but any time i try or want to my brain becomes mush and i feel Nothing im so annoyed