Series Summary: At 18 years old, you have no father, and your mother doesn’t deserve the title, so you move to live with your god brother, Charles. But being in his life means coming back to the place that took your father. If you’re lucky, you’ll rebuild yourself and reconnect to your father’s memory, and maybe the future WDC?
Series warnings: Charles being a big brother, Kimi being a respectful king, mentions of abuse (mental, emotional, sexual), smut (mdni), anxiety + ptsd, occasional song links
a/n: this is my first fic. Sometimes it can get a little dark, but I hope you enjoy!
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F1: Fourth win for Kimi Antonelli today!! When we asked what he’s gonna do for the rest of the day, he said he would be visiting a friend with Ollie. Bearnelli is strong 💪
MercedesAMG: Grande Kimi!! Keep em coming
user1: So I guess we’re all just gonna ignore the whole brocedes part two that happened today?
user2: Guess so smh
HaasF1: love to see Bearnelli!!
user3: A friend? Could it be Halo👀
user4: it would quite the crossover
user5: can we just take a minute to investigate her mom’s post the other day?
user6: @/user5 no seriously bc wdym her mom basically says she’s missing and then she ends up getting arrested??? Like HELLO????
Ollie Bearman Added to His Story
Y/n.bianchi
Liked by kimi.antonelli, charles_leclerc, gia.calizza, and 103.9k others
y/n.bianchi: I suppose it’s time to talk about this. A lot has happened in the last few days. I appreciate the concern from everyone, but it’s time to set the record straight and answer some questions I’ve been getting lately. I was not ‘missing,’ I did not run away from home. I was kicked out. I’ve been dealing with a lot of pain for the past few years and it all boiled over a few days ago. I didn’t know what to do or who to call without my mom finding me and spinning a narrative, so I called my big brother not knowing what else to do. He dropped everything to come pick me up, but he was still 14 hours away. I’m lucky he knew someone in LA who could pick me up. When Charles did get to LA, we had to talk to the police (which I would not have done on my own). All I wanted to do was leave, so with the help of Charles and his friend, that’s what we did.
Long story short: I’m coming back home to my real family.
P.s. thanks Kimi for the giant orca that I have no clue where to put 😂
charles_leclerc: I’ll always be there for you, suœr. Welcome home ❤️
user7: calling her sister after everything might just be the most heartwarming thing ever
alexandramalenaleclerc: regardless of the circumstances, I’m so happy you and I will be sharing a home. Leo can’t wait either, lol
kimi.antonelli: I’ll always remember the orcas with you, and I wanted you to have a GIANT reminder of that moment of calm amidst the storm.
olliebearman: I’m so glad I got to see you again after so long, even though these are the circumstances. You know where to find me in Monaco 🫶
scuderiaferrari: welcome home little Bianchi. Can’t wait to see you in Monaco ❤️
user8: I’m crying so hard right now 😭
gia.calizza: so sorry you went through this, but so happy you made it out. Call me if you need anything. Love you 💛
y/n_bianchi: love you too gigi 😘
user9: Cannot imagine going through what you’ve gone through. You’re so strong!
Series Summary: At 18 years old, you have no father, and your mother doesn’t deserve the title, so you move to live with your god brother, Charles. But being in his life means coming back to the place that took your father. If you’re lucky, you’ll rebuild yourself and reconnect to your father’s memory, and maybe the future WDC?
Chapter summary: you go back to your mom’s house and then jump on a plane
Chapter warnings: depictions of dv, blood, police and hospital interactions, some French and Italian (probably not good French and Italian, but it’s there)
Series warnings: Charles being a big brother, Kimi being a respectful king, mentions of abuse (mental, emotional, sexual), smut (mdni), anxiety + ptsd, song links for some songs sometimes
Charles met you and Kimi at your Mom’s. There was one police car in the driveway, another on the street. You told Kimi he didn’t have to go in, but he told you he wouldn’t leave until he knew you were okay. For a moment you two just watched the house, mentally preparing. You were parked a few houses away, but you still had a good view of it all. After a few minutes, a car slows to a stop in front of your house. Charles gets out of the passenger side with a small hard shell suitcase and the car leaves. He doesn’t move though. He just stares at the police cars and the house, confusion on his face. That’s when you and Kimi get out.
“Charles!” You call out. His head turns to see you and Kimi. He visibly relaxes and starts walking to meet you half way.
“Ma suœr. You’ve changed your hair,” he points his chin. You don’t say anything. When the three of you are within six feet apart, he gestures to the house and the cop cars. “What the fuck is going on?”
You sigh. “I’ll tell you inside, ok?”
He looks visibly annoyed, his jaw tenses as looks back at the scene, not saying anything for a minute before he just sighs, “okay.”
While the three of you are walking up the driveway, an officer approaches. “Do you three have anything to do with the situation here?”
“I’m the daughter.”
The officer takes a step back, visibly surprised that this cases ‘missing person’ is in fact, not missing at all. “And these two?”
You gesture between them, “family friend and just friend.”
He repeats the information into his radio. Then a different officer comes out and approaches you all.
“So here’s what we’re gonna do,” he starts, “you two,” he gestures between Charles and Kimi, “are gonna stay here with officer Phelps and wait until we figure out what’s going on. Halo, do you want to tell me what’s going on?”
The three of you all give statements. It all qualifies as a domestic. Your mom took your car keys and grabbed you by the wrists to stop you from leaving. She also threw a glass bottle at you as you were leaving. She missed, but when it hit the door frame, it shattered and one of the pieces ricocheted off the door frame and hit you just next to your shoulder blade. After all of it comes out, the officer asks you what you want to do, you tell him.
“I just want to get my stuff and leave.” Your voice is completely flat as you continue, “I’m honestly kind of glad you guys are here because I honestly don’t know what would happen if I was alone— even with Charles and Kimi, I don’t know if my mom and David would react.”
The cops brows furrow. “So a few things. One… who the hell is David?”
Your mom didn’t tell him the reason for the fight. Of course she didn’t.
Charles is the one to speak up. “He’s her stepdad.”
Then you ask, “So he’s not here?”the cop shakes his head. “Then I’m guessing my mom didn’t tell you why we got into the fight?”
“She told us you were grounded for lying.”
Charles scoffs. “Je suis san voix.”
You just shake your head and tell the officer the truth. “I told her my stepdad made a pass at me—” that’s the simplified and more legal version, “—she called me a liar. This morning she texted me saying she would kick him out. I guess she did.”
The cop nods. “We’ll address that later. Secondly, we are going to have to make an arrest because this is considered a domestic, you have marks— we’ll take a photo of your back and your wrists in a minute— but we have to make an arrest for these types of calls. So we’re gonna take her out, and after that you can go inside. Are you gonna stay here? I don’t really recommend that in case your stepdad comes back.” The other officer turns away and walks into the house to inform the officers inside of the case development and presumably start the arrest.
“I’m leaving.” Your voice is sure.
The cop nods, “Where are you gonna go?”
You look at Charles. Apparently neither of you have really thought this through. Kimi is the one to speak up. He’s been texting. “I just asked Toto, there’s room on the jet if you two need a ride to Montreal?”
You and Charles share a look before nodding in agreement.
“I’ll be going to Montreal for the weekend.”
“And then?”
“Monaco.” Charles says. You look up at him as if to ask if he’s sure. “Oui, ma suœr. Je t’ai laissé partir un fois avant, et je t’ai perdu. Je ne veux pas que cela se reproduise. Je veux que tu sois avec ta famille— moi et Alex, même Léo.”
Your eyes would water if you weren’t mostly numb. “J’ai besoin d’un câlin.” Charles hugs you.
The moment ends when you hear the footsteps of your mother, cuffed and on her way to the squad car behind you. She gives Charles a nasty look but doesn’t say anything. And the her eyes shift to you, and her face softens.
“Je te sais ne veux celui. Nous allons tout réparé. Je le promets! Je t’aime.” She speaks as she is guided into the back seat. It’s remarkable how well she plays the concerned mother even when she’s in cuffs. You turn to the officer.
“Can I talk to her really quick?” The officer hesitates, obviously, they don’t usually let domestic victims speak to suspects once they’re already in the car. “She’s technically my manager,” you explain, “I just want to tell her our contract will be terminated.”
“I would hold off on that. Just because right now she’s calm, but telling her right now might set her off. Plus waiting will give you a little more time to get all your ducks in a row before you face any legal storm. For now, let’s just go inside, grab what you need, and we’ll get out of your hair.”
You nod as the four of you head inside. When you get to the doorway, you notice something in a crack of the cement. It’s a shard of glass. And when you lean down to get a better look, you see that there’s blood on it. That must be the piece that hit your back. Kimi looks queasy. Apparently he doesn’t do well with blood. The officer takes a photo of the shard then looks at you. “We’ll clean this up, just go ahead and get your stuff.” You nod and head inside.
The house looks… different from last night. Your mom’s comforter from her bed is on the couch. On the coffee table there’s picture frames with photos of you from various stages of life, some even put in frames that used to hold photos of your mom and stepdad. Baby photos, dance photos, one with your dad and Charles holding you. You look genuinely happy in that picture. You pick that one up, your fingers feeling over the frame.
You scoff, then look at Charles, showing him the photo. “She hated this photo. This frame used to hold an awards show carpet photo of her and David.”
Charles looks around, noticing, “Now there’s no trace of him anywhere.”
You open the back of the frame, pulling the photo. “I’m taking this with me.” It used to be on the wall in your bedroom.
Next you go upstairs to your room. Now that is torn up. Your mattress is half off the bed frame, clothes are all over your floor, thrown out of your dresser, even some of your photos that were on the wall have been torn down. You step over a giant pile of clothes and step into your closet. On a shelf, you kept a suitcase. It has all of your main travel documents. Your passport and visa are all you really care about.
You pull the suitcase down and push away clothes to make a flat surface to open it up. You’re 80% sure the only reason your mom didn’t get to it is because of the lock on it. You grab what you’ll need in order to leave the country and a smaller duffel, packing only the essentials, your laptop, chargers, headphones, a few journals, and only two changes of clothes. You know you’ll be in Montreal for a least a few days, but you just don’t have the energy to pack anymore. If you really need to, you can just buy more clothes in Montreal. Besides, most of the clothes you own are ones with too many memories. While no one is around, you peel off your two-day old t-shirt.
On the back of it, it’s got a a tear. You reach back to feel the place where the fabric would’ve rested on your skin. It hurts. When you pull your hand back, your index and middle finger pads have a little bit of crimson liquid. It doesn’t necessarily hurt, but if it opens just by reaching back, you know it needs to be addressed. You sigh, then quickly grab a low back shirt that won’t touch that part of your back. You settle on a halter top and a hoodie that you drape over your arms. You grab your duffel and the torn shirt and head downstairs. Two of the officers are in the living room with Kimi and Charles. You set your stuff down on the coffee table and ask the officers, “Do either of you have a big bandage? The spot where the shard hit me is deeper than I thought and I guess it opened up.”
Charles looks worried at how unbothered you are about it all. ‘Is this normal for you?’
The female officer tells you she’ll get you a bandage from her squad after she gets a good look at the wound. “Do you want medical?” She asks as she takes a photo.
You don’t want to be here any longer, so you say no. The male officer recommends getting medical but you still insist that it’s not really necessary. “Calling an ambulance is just gonna waste resources. If I had known how deep the cut was, maybe I would’ve gotten stitches, but it’s too late since it’s been twelve hours. All I need is a bandage and to not move that shoulder too much.”
Charles comes to you with a wet washcloth, “Pourriez-vous au moins le laver?” You nod, “Oui.” You turn around for Charles to wipe it while the female officer is out. Kimi is leaning against a wall, watching everything happen until he says what everyone seems to have been thinking.
“You seem really calm for someone who’s been through all this.”
You shrug. “I guess it’s just been a long time coming, honestly. If anything, I’m relieved. I’m finally free. And if a cut is the price for a lifetime of choice, I’ll gladly pay it.”
That’s when the female officer gets back inside with the bandage and a disinfectant. She put a it on you and asks you to just go to the hospital when you get to Montreal, please. “I’ve put some disinfectant on and that should be okay for a while, and you’re lucky it wasn’t any deeper, but you still should go to a hospital to make sure there are no micro shards in it.”
You nod and thank her. After giving the officers the torn shirt for evidence, you write out your statement and give them your contact information for the case file, then head for Kimi’s Mercedes to get to the airport.
You get there just in time to board the jet. But it’s slightly awkward given it’s a Mercedes team jet, and the rest of the team is already on it. So you board with virtual strangers. You take the seat next to Charles and across from Kimi, but Charles quickly gets caught up in conversation with George.
Before the plane takes off, Kimi’s phone goes off with a FaceTime call. The voice on the other side is small. His sister.
“Andy! Hai ignorato la mia chiamata tre volte oggi! Voglio sapere com'è la California.”
“Mi dispiace, Maggie. Sono stato preso da qualcosa.” He looks up at you for a second. You lean your head against the panel of the plane, looking out the small window.
“Impegnato con cosa?”
Your eyes flutter closed, your knees pulled to your chest and arms wrapped around yourself. Kimi sighs before he tells his little sister, “Ho visto un po' di orca...” He pauses, “E ho incontrato una persona molto speciale.”
“Chi?”
Kimi thinks about telling her all of it, but either you sleeping just across from him, the bandage on your back, the lack of rest for at least fourteen hours, he decides it can wait. “Non posso dirtelo. Non in questo momento. L'aereo sta per decollare. Ciao Maggie, ti amo.”
The plane takes off with you still asleep. The next time you wake up it’s because of turbulence. It was small but you’re a light sleeper and it still had you shaking in your seat and your back stinging.
Charles notices immediately, “Est-ce que ça va?”
You nod, “oui, mais j'ai peut-être besoin d'une compresse ou quelque chose comme ça.”
His response is instant. He leans over tapping George’s shoulder, “Are there any cold packs on this plane?”
George looks around for a stewardess. When he sees none, he gets up, signaling Charles to follow. When the two come back, Charles hands you the gel pack. You take it with a thank you and twist to place the pack against the bandage.
George sees the giant bandage and sympathetically sucks in a breath, “Christ, what happened?”
Charles and you share a look at one another and then you smirk and reply, “Nothing, just an inchident.”
Charles laughs at that, glad to see you still have a sense of humor, even after everything else. George joins in until he sees Kimi stir.
“Oh shit, we have to be quiet. Don’t want to wake the Italian Prince.” He teases. His voice getting louder by the minute.
You’re the on to try to settle him, “let’s just let him be. He was up all night last night.”
George looks at Charles, with his brows arched. A look of teasing suspicion.
You roll your eyes, “Are you seriously wondering if Kimi and I hooked up— after he picked me up upon request from Charles, who had jumped on a plane with extremely short notice? You really think I’m gonna hook up with a stranger while I’m obviously distressed enough to call my brother who lives in another continent?”
Carmen continues to tease George, “I thought I taught you better.” She shakes her head.
You and Carmen get along. She’s kind, and she only know basic information about you. That’s it. She doesn’t know about the storied history with your mom or stepdad, and she doesn’t ask about the bandage over your back.
She and Charles switch places so him and George can play a game of chess. “It’s nice to see you again after the F1 movie premiere. I loved the song, by the way,” she says to you.
“Thank you,” your cheeks heat up.
“Do you have any upcoming music coming out soon?”
You shake your head. You used to love music. Singing and performing. But eventually you stopped doing it as you. The performance stopped being limited to the stage. It was in the studio, it was any time someone said Halo.
And since that’s what your own mother insisted you be called at all times, there was no escape. You wrote songs, but they were too sad for the persona your mom wanted, so you never got to let that part of you show in your own music.
“I think I’m gonna take a break from music for a while.”
Charles head snaps towards you, “What?” He knows your mom was strict about music, but he never imagined it would get to this point. When you were a child, Charles would play piano and you would make up songs on the spot, and it was pure. “You love for music— you lived for music. I know we haven’t been close in a while, but don’t tell me you hate it now.”
He’s not judgmental, just concerned.
You sigh, “I don’t. It’s just… the music I’ve put out isn’t mine. It hasn’t been in a long time.”
“Then make it yours!” He says it like it’s obvious. Maybe it is, but it’s been so long that you sang for someone else— as someone else— that it almost seems impossible.
“It’s not even my own name.” Your voice is quieter now.
Kimi speaks up now, you didn’t even realize he was awake. “But you can change your name still. You’ve told me you want to be called your real name. Why not tell the rest of the world?”
There’s a moment in time where both you and Kimi seem to forget the rest of the world exists, until a British diva breaks it, “Beautifully said by Andrea Kimi Antonelli.”
Your head tilts, “Kimi isn’t your name?”
He shakes his head, “it is, it’s just my middle name.”
Maybe it wasn’t a moment. Maybe it’s just the person. Because for another minute, the world narrows again; you two have another conversation about how his name is beautiful but only his close family calls him by it.
A few times the rest of the group jump in, talking about the time when Kimi won his first Grand Prix when the announcer said Kimi Raikkonen instead of Antonelli.
“It all could’ve been avoided had he just gone by Andrea instead of Kimi,” George jokes. Kimi shakes his head with a laugh. His voice is warm.
The plane lands about an hour later, and before you deboard, Kimi finds a moment with you when no one is paying attention. His voice is softer now, “You let me call you your real name, if you want to, you can call me by mine.”
You smile, “Thank you, Andrea.”
You and Charles decide to go to a hospital after all. Just to make sure there’s no micro shards.
The cleaning hurt a lot more than anything else. “I can’t believe you waited so long.” The nurse scolds. “You’ll need an x-ray, and we might have to keep you overnight for observation just to make sure it’s not infected.”
Charles has been sitting on the chair, switching between listening to the nurse and texting Alex with updates. Originally, the nurse thought you and him were together, and when you told him that Charles was your brother, she certainly shot her shot.
“Alex just landed. She’s on her way.”
You nod. As you two are waiting to get the x-ray, Kimi texts you, ‘Everything okay?’
‘Just waiting for the x-ray. I swear the cleaning hurt more than the initial cut.’
‘Can you get stitches?’
‘It’s almost the 24 hour mark, so it’s pushing it, but if the X-ray comes up with no glass, maybe.’
‘🤞’
The three dots appear. Disappear. And then he asks, ‘did you see the article?’
‘Haven’t looked.’
‘Don’t blame you. It’s just gossip.’
‘Just be aware that cameras might look for you at the paddock.’
‘I might still be in the hospital. They want to keep me for observation, just in case.’
Another pause, another bubble.
‘Can I come visit you?’
You think about it, typing a message, but before you can send it, a doctor comes in.
“So, miss…” he checks his chart, “Bianchi. You’ve waited almost 24 hours to get medical attention, we’re gonna have to do some emergency surgery to make sure it’s clean and there’s no fragments left behind.”
You don’t say anything. You can’t. The lump in your throat makes you speechless.
“What surgeries?” Charles asks.
“Exploration and debridement.” He explains what each surgery is, one expands the cut in order to get a more thorough clean and it allows a better search for micro debris, which, if found, the debridement will extract. “Time is of the essence so a nurse is gonna come back in and get you ready for surgery. An anesthesiologist will also be in once you’re all changed. I’ll be the one performing the surgery. I understand that this injury was the result of a domestic violence incident that happened in the US. I don’t know how things work over there, but here we would contact the officer in charge of the case so they can add this information to the file. I can give you more information after the surgery, but right now I have to scrub in.”
The nurse comes in with a gown for you and Charles takes the opportunity to call Alex while you change. You prepare yourself for surgery. The last thing you do before getting back on the gurney is check your phone before putting it in your duffel. A few more texts from Kimi.
‘You don’t have to decide right now.’
‘Just let me know if you need anything.’
a/n: this one was sooooo difficult to write for me 😣
Please comment if you’ve got any thoughts for this one. I’m always looking for constructive feedback
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Is Halo Bianchi Returning to the Formula 1 Paddock? Is a Scandal Coming with her?
Halo Bianchi, daughter of the late F1 driver Jules Bianchi was just spotted getting off the Mercedes private jet in Montreal with Charles Leclerc and Kimi Antonelli. Bianchi was most recently associated with F1 when her music was featured in the F1 movie which came out last year. She has since not been seen at any F1 events, including Charles Leclerc’s wedding, who she was supposedly very close with as a child. Prior to the film, she had not been seen on an F1 paddock since 2022, when she was 13. So the question is, why now? And why is she with the young WDC leader as well?
Our research team has found very few documented interactions between the nineteen year old Kimi Antonelli and eighteen year old Bianchi, with the earliest photographed interaction happening on the Monza paddock in 2018, and the latest in 2022, once again on the Monza paddock. Antonelli does follow her on social media, but she does not follow him. If the two are in a romantic relationship, they have done a very good job of hiding it up until this sighting.
So why is Charles there?
It is not necessarily surprising to Charles with Bianchi, as he was close with her father and both Halo and Charles have referred to one another as ‘god siblings.’ In one photo above, the two can be seen in a tender embrace. However, at Leclerc’s wedding earlier this year to Alexandra Saint Mleux, Halo Bianchi was not in attendance. And Leclerc’s wife was also not at the scene in Montreal this evening.
And there is another question as to why Leclerc on a Mercedes private jet. Is he in talks with Mercedes for next season?
What happened to Halo before this?
Approximately 24 hours before being scene in Montreal with Antonelli and Leclerc, her mother took to both instagram and X claiming her daughter had left their home without telling anyone. “I’m extremely for Halo’s wellbeing as she’s been emotionally unwell, saying some concerning things to me, and now she’s gone and I don’t know where. She loves to help others and has a lot of trust in them, but sometimes people will take advantage of that. If you see her, please help me find her. I will also be alerting the police. #findhalo”
Approximately 14 hours after her original posts, she updated with her instagram story with a video, saying Halo came home unharmed, but Bianchi was not in frame. However, off to the side, the uniformed arm of an LAPD police officer could be spotted. This detail was noticed by fans online. Our sources say that a few minutes after the video was taken, Halo’s mother was reportedly escorted out of their home in cuffs by officers. Our sources have not yet confirmed charges against her yet.
As for Halo, she seems to have gone through a visible transformation. Her iconic blonde, back length hair is cut shorter and it’s been dyed a dark color. She also seems be hiding from the cameras in the photos above.
What is happening here?
**
a/n: so maybe I’ll start doing teasers for every part and they’ll be set in articles or social media posts? Idk. This was kinda fun to write… even though I spent WAY too much time on pinterest looking for airport photos *sigh*
Anyways, the next part is gonna actually include Charles, and you’ll get the full story behind the article.
Let me know what you thought of this! Is it smart to do teasers in the form of articles/posts? I always read my comments because I’m chronically online and a master procrastinator when it comes to my homework for uni lol.
Series Summary: At 18 years old, you have no father, and your mother doesn’t deserve the title, so you move to live with your god brother, Charles. But being in his life means coming back to the place that took your father. If you’re lucky, you’ll rebuild yourself and reconnect to your father’s memory, and maybe the future WDC?
Chapter summary: “I’d like to be my old self again, but I’m still tryna find it.” ~ Taylor swift
Genre(s): Angst, fluff, smut
Series warnings: Charles being a big brother, Kimi being a respectful king, mentions of abuse (mental, emotional, sexual), smut (mdni), anxiety + ptsd, nightmares, maybe some smau???? haven’t decided yet
The rest of the night went by too fast. You and Kimi talked all night and watched movies, drinking energy drinks. Kimi said it was a good idea since he had a flight to a different timezone and this way it would be easier for him to crash when he really needed to.
The night was almost ruined when your mom texted you again.
You turned off your location? Really? (19:16)
You need to come home. (20:03)
I’m throwing your shit out. (20:39)
Stop being such a drama queen (220:01)
You are 18 years old. (1:31)
Start acting like it.(1:31)
Please just come home. (4:31)
Halo, I’ve barely slept at all. I’m sorry. Please, I am begging you just come home. (5:32)
I can kick David out if you really need me too, but he says he didn’t do it. (5:33)
Please. (5:33)
I’m sorry (5:33)
Kimi sees it. “Do you think she means it?” You shake your head, just wait.
‘You’re my daughter and my life is meaningless without you (5:33)
The bubbles appear, disappear, reappear.
‘I won’t live without you. (5:34)
There it is. Her favorite line when things aren’t going her way. The threat to self. And yet your eyes still start to water, and you sit there frozen. Kimi puts his hand over yours and turns the phone off. His voice is warm, “You don’t need to see that.” All you can do is nod.
“We don’t have to talk about it either. We can just sit here in silence. Whatever you need.” his arms wrap around you. You’re not sure how long you stayed there, but eventually, you found your strength and wiped your tears away and then asked him to talk to you about something else. He thinks for a minute.
“Did I ever tell you that my sister was a huge fan of you when she was little?”
You sigh out a laugh.
“No, seriously. She begged to go to your concert like 2 years ago.”
Your brows furrow, two years was not long ago, “She was ‘little’ two years ago? How old is your sister?”
“She’s 10.”
“So she’s still little.”
Kimi smiles, “I guess.” You laugh softly, but it stops when you see your reflection.
“Do you ever catch your own reflection and not recognize yourself? Like you’re a product of someone else’s making?” You feel the dead ends of your hair. It’s been fried from lightening treatments and the heat it takes to do your hairstyles, not to mention the uneven strands the just look like frizz. Sometimes when you take out your hair out of ponytails, hair comes out, and it grows back and drives you crazy to tame. You never even wanted your hair to be the styles it’s usually in. They’re usually your mom’s ideas.
“Do you really feel that way?” Kimi asks. You nod. “Why?” You shrug, so used to resignation about these kinds of things. But with Kimi, he’s just a kind stranger who doesn’t seem to care about your stage persona. About ‘Halo.’
So you take a breath before telling the truth, “I haven’t worn my natural hair color since I was ten. And I’ve always had to get spray tans. ‘If you’re too pale, the blonde hair will clash…’ That’s what my mom always told me. She had a lot of control over my identity. My hair, my body, what I ate, my jobs, my clothes, my music… my name.”
There’s a pause, Kimi’s mouth presses into a line while he thinks. Then he stands up from the couch, checking his phone. “Let’s take back control, then.”
Your brows furrow, “What?”
Kimi huffs like it’s obvious, but there’s no malice, just a little teasing. “Let’s take back control. Starting with your hair. Is there a hair salon open right now?”
You laugh again, “You cannot be serious right now Kimi.”
“I am very serious.” Kimi gestures with his hands to show how ‘very serious’ he is, “you deserve to recognize yourself in the mirror.” He checks his phone again. “It’s almost 7 right now. There’s got to be somewhere that we can go to help you see you again.”
There is someone. You met her on set. She opened her own studio and is famously available for last minute or emergency. In fact she told you that day or not, she would do your hair. “West Hollywood,” you finally say. Kimi’s face lights up.
“Let’s go!” He’s already moving to get his socks and shoes on. You can’t help but laugh, “let me call her first, Kimi.”
“Do it!” And he’s back to grabbing his shoes, disappearing to the coat closet by the door. He’s way too excited.
You make the call. Lizzie was already awake. Being a parent to a toddler and all. “Oh my God, Halo, yes! This toddler has been kicking my ass, I need to be around a fellow human being. What were you and your mom thinking?”
“Actually my mom doesn’t know— and you don’t have to call me Halo anymore. I’m going back to using my real name.”
The line is quiet for a moment. “Oh… What is your real name?”
She doesn’t press about your mom, and now you get to introduce yourself— your real self. You start to smile as you tell her.
“Oh that’s gorgeous!” She says. “Okay and what do you want to do with your hair?”
“I want to dye it… and cut it.”
Lizzie ‘ooo’s before asking, “what color were you thinking? Red, brunette, something crazy?”
You explain to her exactly what you want, surprised at how confident you are in yourself. Had you thought about this before? After going over everything, she tells you she can be ready in thirty minutes.
“Okay, we’ll see you soon.” You end the call.
**
Kimi waits in the sand at the beach and calls his family, since Lizzie’s house is beachfront. while you get your hair done. “So, is he your..?” Lizzie asks while taking out your extensions.
“Just friends. We met last night. Charles couldn’t pick me up after my mom and I got into it, but Kimi was already in LA.”
She nods. It gets quiet for a minute before she says, “You’re eighteen. You don’t have to go back anymore.” Lizzie has seen your relationship with your mom. Witnessed her telling you to keep the bleach in even when you told her it was burning. There were a lot of times where you were in pain because of your mom’s desire for you to look ‘beautiful.’
“I know. I just…” you sigh. “I don’t know where I would go, or how I would get there. She’s so entwined in my life. My music, my career as a whole. She’s got my banking information. It’s only a matter of time until she starts freezing my accounts. And I’m still under contract with her as a manager.”
That’s when Lizzie’s fiancée speaks up, “My firm can help you with that.”
The water that was running over your hair stops. Both you and Lizzie look over at Julie. “I mean, I couldn’t be your lawyer, but I could probably get a partner to. From what I’ve seen in passing, and from what you’re saying, it sounds like abusive management and grounds for contract termination, maybe even litigation.”
“Are you serious?” You ask with a furrowed brow. Julie nods.
For the rest of the hair appointment, you discuss legal action, Julie calls into the firm, and for the second time in one day, you start to feel free.
**
You find Kimi sitting watching the waves crashing into the shore. You sit down next to him. “Hi.”
“Bellissima.” Is all he says. Then he notices your smile. “You love it that much?”
You shrug, “I do,” you wait and then tell him about what Julie said. “I think I’m really happy about it all.”
Kimi nod. “You should be.” Out in the water you see something. You lean forward to get a better look.
“Holy shit.”
Kimi looks at you, then at where your eyes are looking. “What?”
Then, one breaches. Followed by another. Orcas. An entire pod. You get up. Running towards the shore, still smiling. Kimi follows. Neither of you says anything. You just watch them pass. It’s so beautiful. And when they’re gone, you let out a little laugh. Kimi looks at you, “what is it?”
“I haven’t seen orcas in the wild since my dad was alive. It just feels like he’s coming back to me.”
a/n: I hope you liked this one, because I sure did… even though I felt like it was going slow at times
Series Summary: At 18 years old, you have no father, and your mother doesn’t deserve the title, so you move to live with your god brother, Charles. But being in his life means coming back to the place that took your father. If you’re lucky, you’ll rebuild yourself and reconnect to your father’s memory, and maybe the future WDC?
Chapter summary: After a fight with your mom, Charles comes to the rescue… at least, he sends Kimi
Genre(s): Angst, fluff, smut
Series warnings: Charles being a big brother, Kimi being a respectful king, mentions of abuse (mental, emotional, sexual), smut (mdni), anxiety + ptsd, nightmares
a/n: so this is my first fic……..
The nightmares were never unprecedented. There were always warnings. The buzz of the AC at night morphing into an oxygen machine’s hum, then the sound of a crowd. Your room was closest to the condenser unit by design. The nightmare either woke you up or kept you awake, and on the nights you didn’t have nightmares, it was because you slept too light. ‘It’s easier to wake you up this way,’ your mom had told you.
You reach for your phone from your pocket. Nine missed calls. Three from Mom, two from David, one from Mason, one from Gia, and two from… Charles? You haven't really talked to him in years. He left a voicemail— two.
“Hey, I know we haven’t spoken in a bit, but I’ll be in Miami for work this week. Alexandra couldn’t make it, so it's yours if you want it, no pressure. I just figured it’d be nice to catch up. I missed you at the wedding,” there's a pause, a sigh before he adds. “I guess I should ask your mum. I’ll call her now. Ciao.”
The next one is a few minutes later.
“I just called your mom,” pause, “Is everything okay? She said you two got into a fight. Please call me. And she got mad that I didn't call you Halo? Said I was ‘encouraging bad behavior.’ Please call me back.”
It’s Tuesday now. The grand prix was days ago
The tears in your eyes started to spill over, rapidly, and suddenly, unexpectedly, you were glad you were in a shitty gas station bathroom no one would bother to go into. Your thumb hovered over Charles’s contact. You had to close your eyes as you pressed call.
“Souer?” He sounds tired. Of course he does. It's three AM in Monaco.
You sniffled, you tried to speak but your voice was too thin, the lump in your throat overpowering.
“Are you there?”
“Yeah.” you finally managed. Your voice forced, like you were trying to convince both him and yourself that you haven't been crying, or screaming at your parents earlier. Charles could hear right through it.
“What is going on?”
Then your resolve slips away. “Mom and I got into a fight.” his side of the line is quiet, so you continue, “She kicked me out.”
“Where are you?”
Shame kicks in as you look around. The writings on the bathroom stall, the toilet paper on the floor, questionable stains on the wall behind the toilet you refuse to sit on. “I’m in a gas station bathroom in downtown Santa Monica."
You can hear shuffling on the other line, “hang on.” You can tell he’s holding the phone away from his face because of the mumbling, him and a woman, Alexandra. “I’ve put you on speaker. I’ll be in Los Angeles as soon as possible. I dont want you staying in a fucking petrol station toilet, so I’m calling a friend for you to stay with until I get there.” you can hear tapping on his phone. “Whats the address?” he finally asks.
You hesitate.
Charles sighs, then Alexandra speaks up, “What's the nearest landmark, miel?”
“I guess I’m not too far from the pier,” you sniffle, beginning to pull yourself together.
“Thats great,” Charles says, typing. “Kimi can meet you there in 30 minutes.”
Kimi Raikkonen. He came to visit your father when he was in his coma. Never said much. You let out a sigh of relief as you realize he won't bombard you with questions about what happened. “Thank you Charles,” you wipe your tears as the stall door squeaks open.
“Of course, ma soeur. I’m going to the airport now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
After the phone call ends, you turn on the sink, running a shitty paper towel under the water before bringing it under your eyes, trying to wipe away your raccoon mask of mascara.
*
You find a bench on the pier and sit there, switching from looking at your phone to looking around for Kimi when someone who is definitely not Kimi Raikkonen approaches you. Somehow he looks vaguely familiar.
“Halo?” he asks. His accent is warm, but you still wince at the name. He takes a step back to give you space. “Charles sent me. I’m Kimi.”
“Oh,” you sound disappointed, unintentionally— well maybe not, you just don’t have the energy to mask your emotions anymore. You’re sure Kimi notices, but he doesn’t say anything. “I’m sorry, I guess I just assumed Charles meant Kimi Raikkonen, someone I actually know.”
Kimi gives a slight nod. “So I guess you don’t remember me.” Your brows furrow. “We met a few years ago— a couple of times actually. I think the first time we met was in like… 2018, maybe? It was my first time on an F1 paddock after I signed with Mercedes. I was getting autographs from the grid and you were right by Charles and Sebastian. We talked a little while Vettel and Charle were signing,” he explains.
You look away. “Sorry.” Kimi is still warm, “Don’t worry. You seemed way more relaxed then I was. I was trying to savor every detail of that experience.”
You nod. It's quiet. Kimi shrugs, “So, should we go?” you nod again standing up from the bench, then realize you aren’t totally sure what the plan is. Kimi seems to notice your hesitance. “Charles said he won't be here until tomorrow, and I have to catch a flight to Montreal, but I told him I could stay with you until he gets here.” You nod. Kimi continues as you walk to his car, “Mercedes booked me a suite, so I'll take the couch in the other room and you can have the bed.” You nod. The rest of the walk is silent.
When you get to his car, a blue Mercedes that you assume is a rental, he opens the passenger side door for you before going to the driver side. You lean your head against the window. After a few minutes, Kimi asks, “Have you eaten?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Thats not what I asked.”
“... no.” You admit.
“Let get some Pizza then. What do you like?”
You’re quiet. You are not letting that slip out in front of an Italian. Especially not one who drives recklessly for a living and is currently behind the wheel of a car. But Kimi seems to notice your hesitance. He tries to make a joke, “It can’t be that bad. I mean it’s not like you like pineapple on pizza.” You purse your lips into a thin line. Kimi sees it in a glance. His eyes widen before he sucks in a breath and straighten up in his chair. “Oh,” there’s a pause before he says, “You seem like you’re not having a great day, so I’ll let that slide for now.”
“I’ll just get cheese.”
“You don't even want salami pi— pepperoni?”
“Allergic.”
Kimi nods. “Pineapple it is.” his hands tighten on the steering wheel.
*
Kimi is kind enough to eat the pineapple on pizza without too much grief. And after eating, you try to get some sleep. But when you start to drift off, the AC unit starts. And you’re back to being 7 in that hospital room with your grandparents, the oxygen tube in your dad’s mouth, and the flowers. God, there were so many flowers. Almost everyone who came to visit brought something for you. Stuffed animals, bonbons, money even. You didn’t understand it, and that seemed to break your grandparents’ hearts.
Their son was only 25. In their opinions, he shouldn’t have even had a daughter at that age. You were born when he was only 18, and your own mother wanted nothing to do with you. She was only 18. Your dad did everything he could to take care of you, but being a young Formula 1 driver, he needed his parents' help. And they did. They helped to raise you, and for the nine months that he was in that coma, they took you to see him every day. And the few times they couldn’t, Charles did.
Charles was basically your older brother. He was literally your father’s god son. But he couldn’t protect you from your future. Your mother suddenly deciding that she wanted to take care of you, little did either of you know of her plans to move you to California and have you pursue an entertainment career almost immediately with dance classes and music and acting, her plan change your name to ‘Halo’ because apparently it was ‘attention grabbing.’
The dream shifts from the hospital room to a dressing room. Your mom doing your makeup before a show and your stepdad berating her. He was your producer. She was your manager. And when he screamed at her, the liquid eyeliner she was putting on you accidentally got into your eye. Instead of apologizing, she threw the brush down on the vanity, got up and left, leaving you with your step father. He sighed and took your mother’s seat across from you and put his hand on your upper thigh, under your mini skirt, and told you that once you turned 18, he would take care of you and divorce your mom. The relationship only got worse from there. When you did turn 18. In the dressing room of a show your mom booked for you but couldn’t make it too. He put you on your knees, unbuttoned his jeans and—
You wake up gasping. Maybe screaming. Apparently kimi heard you because he’s now standing in the doorway, hair messy from sleeping on the couch. “Are you okay?” he rasps.
You nod frantically, “Yeah, yeah. I'm fine.” It’s a lie. An instinct. Kimi knows, but he just nods slowly. “Okay… just checking.” Slowly, he turns to walk away, but you call out to him, “Wait!” He does.
“I’m probably not gonna be able to sleep.”
Kimi nods, “Do you want to talk about it? Charles hasn't really told me what's going on. Just that you needed help. Are the nightmares related to it?”
You stare at your hands in your lap as you nod. “Come sit on the couch and we can talk about it if you want…” You wipe some silent tears with the heel of your hands. Kimi speaks up again, “Or we could watch a movie and raid the mini fridge.” You smile at that and head to the other room.
The movie you decided on was some comedy you were completely paying attention to, you had already see it, but it was something to look at when your brain started running too fast.
“Can I ask you something?” Kimi asks, you nod. “Your name…” You sigh a little. Kimi continues with hesitancy, “You looked like it was painful when I called you Halo…”
“Wouldn’t you if you were named after the reason your father died?” Kimi’s quiet. You continue, “it was my mom’s idea. We moved when I was nine. She put me in auditions for acting and music and dance, and she thought it’d be a good story to tell interviewers and stuff. Sometimes pity pays, I guess.” You shrug.
Kimi presses his lips into a thin line before asking, “What do you want to be called?”
Your stomach flutters. Only a few people have ever asked you that, your closest friends, Charles. Your father’s friends were yelled at by your mom anytime they called you by your real name when you would visit the paddock. “My real name.” And you tell him what it is.
It sounds amazing coming from his lips, and you can feel it falling down your cheeks. “Please don’t cry.” He hurries to get you a tissue.
You shake your head and wipe the tears away with your fingers instead. “I’m sorry, it’s just… it feels nice knowing I can openly ask people to call me my real name, and they will.
Kimi still looks tense, like he wants to help you calm down, but he doesn’t know how, so he just smiles.
You laugh a little, in order to stop yourself from crying anymore, and you’re smiling. A genuine, soft smile for the first time maybe in years. “I’m sorry, I’m so emotional,” you wipe the tears of joy. “Tell me something about yourself. Distract me.” You’re still smiling.
“I’m glad I got to see you again.” He smiles
*******
a/n: First Fic!!!!!! okay, so this series is probably gonna be a bit angsty, but still good I promise!! If you liked this and want to know when I update, just say so and I’ll add you to my tag list 🫶
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