Kim

A light shined bright on judgment day,  only then was when I knew.  I had no time to sit and pray, but it was time that I meet you. 

A voice I've heard from days before,  from a face I've never met.  Unlocked the door and let me in. Today, I won't forget. 

I turned knobs the width of cars, saw stained glass the height of trees. She pushed the door until ajar,  & came out a gentle breeze. 

I took a breath of rosemary, the air felt cool and wet.  The sun shined bright in February,  still, it hasn't hit me yet.

She sat me at a coffee table,  against a river bank. Poured tea that reeked of sugar maple,  from there we spoke and drank. 

Her curls cascade like waterfalls, and barely touch the ground. She had rough hands her body was tall, her skin a deep dark brown.

When she said 'hello' her voice was raspy,  but her smile lit up the earth.  As I left she stopped, said, lastly, "Enjoy your new rebirth."

The morning of the inauguration I had my bags packed and was ready to leave while Lola drooled at the T.V. I walked out of my room with my backpack on and Lolo stops me. "Kim, why don't you watch the inauguration?"  "No thanks, Lolo I refuse to watch Hitler rise to power." 

Naturally, he got mad and called me stupid. I could tell Lola recognized my urgency to leave because after giving her a shot of insulin, she told me not to worry about them. On my way out I grabbed a banana from the kitchen when Lolo pulled me aside he said:

"You have to give him a chance, he's president now."  I shook my head and responded with, "Lolo, you only know what they show you on news that support him. If you followed what is really going on, you would understand my frustration."

Although my mother is here legally, there is concern that her status may not withhold against Trump's immigration orders. Every year my mom needs to renew her Temporary Protected Status (TPS) and many are worried that his administration will end the 15 year old grant.

BuzzFeed has reported that "People living under TPS are more vulnerable for removal than perhaps undocumented immigrants because 'the US government has a list of who they are and where they live, said Camille Mackler of the New York Immigration Coalition."

Forbes mentions "The criteria for asylum and the administrative process for Central Americans fleeing violence could quickly become a flashpoint. Temporary Protected Status (TPS) could end for some countries."

My mom has worked as a catering truck driver since I could remember. She wakes up before the sun rises and comes home with pain in her feet and knees. Occasionally she visits my Abuelita in El Salvador but now is too afraid to travel. Her strength in raising my three siblings on her own has always and will forever motivate me.

Last weekend, she asked me to take care of my sister in case anything happens. I'm sure my mom will be fine, but the thought that she could be gone without any notice is terrifying. However, my prayers are with families living in fear because their lives are at risk of being completely torn apart. When I went home the night my mom asked me this, I made sure to let me grandparents know.

As a journalist, I know that assumptions are typically frowned upon. However, I would like to assume that many Trump supporters live in a world where they just believe what they want. I don't know, I'm not them, I just live with them. Anyway, after I told Lolo and Lola they waved their hands and said "oh that won't happen, your mom wants to stay here and plus she got married." Excuse me, what? No. That's not how this works, thats not how any. of. this. works! Lola also added "If Trump deports your mom, I'll take care of him" and laughed. 

In light of recent events, I've decided to share my experience throughout this presidential election. "Living In a Trump House" will be - as the title suggests - a series of what it is like living with a family who supports Trump while I completely despise the man. As a journalist, it may be frowned upon to share my families' political affiliation. However, I believe it is a story that needs to be shared considering there are others in similar situations.

For those of you that know me, you know I live with my dad and grandparents. My Lola (grandma) came to America working as a bank teller until she could afford to bring my Lolo (grandpa), my dad and my two aunts here. The four of them lived in Hollywood until Lolo and Lola saved enough money to buy properties which now fund our lives. My family came from the Philippines and now live what we understand to be the American dream. My grandparents made it possible for their children and grandchildren to live comfortably. Well, sort of comfortably, I think it's important to note that Lola is quite the hoarder. 

On the other hand, my mother came to America in the trunk of a car. Simply to work as a catering truck driver until she could bring my Abuelita (grandma) and siblings here. She too found herself in a much better place than she would have in El Salvador. As a female child of immigrants, it was obvious that Donald Trump offended me to my core. You can only imagine my dismay when I found out that Lolo and Lola's support for Trump was stronger than my Dad's. 

My grandparents have always been old fashioned. Die hard republicans who went to Catholic church every Sunday and always shamed me for drinking beer at family parties because let's face it, classy ladies don't drink beer. I wasn't surprised that they found Trump humorous but I was shocked when I realized they legitimately wanted to vote for him. 

As for my dad, I knew off the bat he would vote for Trump. Like many Americans, he lives with a subconscious bias that fuels misogyny and racism. I lived with this same bias until I learned how destructive it can be to my community. If you're interested in learning more about what I'm talking about, read The Hidden Brain. My dad's jokes stem from stereotypes, but when he said "Do you really think Hilary could run this country" I stopped laughing at them. I came the realization that my dad's jokes about women and minorities were coming from a place of his truth. 

This year flew. One minute I was at school scrambling to meet deadlines the next I'm on CBS's lot herding audiences. Markie and I continued covering artists from Jhene Aiko to YG and we got to interview upcoming rappers like Dizzy Wright, Demrick, and Taylor Gang's Tuki Carter. It was a pretty dope year. 

Although life has been fun and exciting there is also a lot happening in the world. We live in a time where racial tension is high and change is imminent. From back to back videos of cops shooting people, protesters being attacked for defending water to the media fueling hate filled movements and basically promoting racism. I found myself arguing with my family who were defending Trump's rhetoric and which forced me to look at myself and what I actually believed in. As I continue to grow I think about some of the things that keep me grounded and what I need to focus on for the future.  

Be Yourself. Love Yourself. Stop worrying about what people think about you and have to say about you. That is none of your business. The negativity people project toward you is a reflection of their own reality. Take it from The New York Times Best Seller Don Miguel Ruiz who tells readers to "not take anything personally" in The Four Agreements. This thought process helped give me room to focus on myself and learn who I was. I recognized what I loved to do and manifested where I wanted to be in life. The more I learn about my purpose the easier it is to love myself and everyone around me.

Keep Moving. Laziness is something I struggle with on a regular basis but I am starting to remove it from my fair share of bad habits. Sleeping in, binge watching shows, and eating for fun was starting to take up too much of my time. So I started waking up super early and tidying my room like I was Marie Kondo trying to change my life. I got rid of at least ten bags of clothes after reading that book.  I actively took advantage of opportunities I thought would advance my career and through the miracle of having mentors found myself at CBS Television Studios. The lesson is to keep moving without fear because there will be more opportunities the further you get along. Your journey will be different than the path you expect to take. The most effective way I learn is through experience, when I can mistake and see how change works to fix it. 

Keep Learning. Although learning through experience is a priceless lesson, books for me are everything. I read a lot more this past year, partly because I was in a creative writing class, but it was also my mission to consistently read. Some literary books I read were Sula, T.S. Eliot poetry, and some George Orwell essays. One of my favorites last year was How Remarkable Women Lead: The Breakthrough Model for Work and Life. Books are a vital source of my motivation and as a journalist, I think it's important that I am consistently reading books. Other than reading, I continued to advance my skills in writing, editing, and designing. Trying to stay up to date with everything is hard but this is what I signed up for. Also, if you have any book reccomendations please share. 

Find a Purpose.  I have always believed that each individual is put on earth for a specific reason. Whether a person loves science or art, god gives talents and passions to everyone. The journey in life is trying to reach the destination of why we are put here. The beauty of life is that we are able to choose our own destiny. Some people find their purpose immediately and are deemed child prodigies, others don't find it until they have reached the end of their career. Either way, the work is done with a passion for the field and gives purpose to the individual. I have yet to find my purpose but I have the feeling it lives in whoever is reading this. My greatest joy is to inspire because I love reminding people that dreams are attainable. If only one person feels moved enough to ignite a change in their life, it is all worth it for me. If you want to work in a creative field, that is the only feeling you should strive for. 

Stand Up. Everyone has issues they hold to a higher degree than others. My problem is having an obsession with everything; from lack of education to poverty, inequality, global warming, and mass incarceration. I literally want to save the world. When I worked with Picture Motion, I learned my obsession was shared with many. Their company marketed social justice films and documentaries. For example, 13th, The Hunting Ground, Working with this predominantly female company was where a lot of my confidence came from this year. It was the one experience that reminds me to do everything with a purpose. In a time when people are blindly oppressing others, it is essential to fight for what you believe in. Use your voice and make sure it is heard. I'm still new to all this, which is why I'm writing to an audience of zero. But in 2016, I learned that watching it all happen holds consequences and I can't just sit on my phone aimlessly reposting articles. 

It's taken me a while to find the right products that won't turn my hair into crispy ramen noodles. Apparently drowning your hair in three different types of mousse is not the answer. I tried Miss Jessies Pillow Soft Curls but I didn't have the tight curls it was meant for and ended up with a mess. When I went back and found her Multicultural Curls, my life changed. Here's how I use it.

After I shower, I comb my hair and use a t-shirt to scrunch out some of the water. Then I take a dime size drop of Miss Jessies and massage it in with my hands and fingers. I also use Lush's R&B Moisturizer to lock in some moisture and prevent frizz. If your hair is kind of thin and frizzy like mine, be sure not to touch your hair until it dries completely. You will look like a crazy wet dog but I promise the less you touch the less you will frizz. 

I'm not too big on makeup because the application process has always ended horribly for me. There are napkins everywhere, my eye is black from all the attempts of putting eyeliner on and I just look like I'm doing way. too. much. So I have found a new love for hunting down great skin care products. Right now almost everything I have been using is from Glossier. The beauty brand was founded by Emily Weiss who started IntoTheGloss, a beauty blog dedicated to trying the best in skincare. Today, Glossier is soon to become one of the leading names in skincare and makeup. Their belief that "skin care is essential and makeup is a choice" brings a fresh take on today's beauty. 

Let's start with Phase 1: Milky Jelly Cleanser, Priming Moisturizer, Balm Dotcom, and Perfecting Skin Tint. 

Glossier's Milky Jelly Cleanser is a similar consistency to Cetaphil but thicker and dupes as a makeup remover. With the Priming Moisturizer, a little goes a long way and gives you soft supple skin with a nice glow. I also use Lush's Enchanted Eye Cream, I like to think it helps my dark circles but I can't tell the difference. 

As a chapstick connoisseur and recovering addict, I am obsessed with Balm Dotcom. I like to use Lush's Lip Scrub before applying. They also released new flavors in mint, cherry, rose and coconut. Lastly is the Perfecting Skin Tint (Don't forget to shake!). This sheer liquid will even out your skin and make it pop. 

On to Phase 2: Boy Brow, Stretch Concealer, and Generation G lip balms. 

Boy Brow changed my life, I never did my eyebrows because I always looked ridiculous but this little three-inch tube subtly tints your brows and keeps them in place. I'm on the fence with the Stretch Concealer, it sometimes dries out in certain areas in my face but I find a little works best for under the eyes. Finally, the cutest lip balms on the face of the earth Generation G. I've tried Cake, Like and Crush but they have a few new shades and all look amazing on different skin tones. 

The Wiltern is definitely in my top five concert venues of Los Angeles. It is small enough to enjoy the event, yet big enough so you don't feel like you're at a glorified nightclub. It was originally built in 1931 and located at the intersection of Wilshire and Western. 

At this particular venue, I have seen performances from 30 Seconds to Mars, Wiz Khalifa, Kendrick Lamar and YG. From what I've noticed, they take out the seats for concerts because the only time I have seen them was for a Gabriel Iglesias stand up. Shout out to Fluffy. For that, I was in the Mezzanine and although it feels super high up, it isn't that bad. But if you could get to the floor I would suggest it. 

There are four levels until you reach the pit where you'll find a very eager security guard stopping you, asking to see your wristband. Some shows allow the general audience in the pit but always ask. One thing I've noticed is once they reach capacity in each area they close it off. 

This is the part of the concert where you decide if you want to be closer and not see shit, find a new level to stand behind or mob your way to the front. Some people like being in the mix and turn-up so if that's you make sure you get in there and stay. If you're like me and get claustrophobic trying to see the show, find a good spot behind a wall and enjoy. 

I, like many women across the globe I grew up thinking that a woman is valued by what she physically has to offer. I didn't know everyone was photoshopped and surgically manipulated so I always thought real beauty was unattainable. Little did I know that beauty is actually in your soul and how you carry yourself. We have all met those people that look magazine-cover-worthy but have shit personalities and turn into the gremlins people right before your eyes. So don't be that person and don't be the person who always feels bad for themselves because they are insecure. You deserve to have confidence and are more than worthy of love. So here are three things you can do to start loving yourself again. 

Stop comparing yourself to others. This is super cliché and always in these self-love lists but I think it's the most important. We live in a day and age where we are drowning in pictures of perfect models who live perfect lives. I always have to remind myself that I am enough and if people don't want to accept me that's not my problem. So throw your fucks out the window because you never needed them in the first place. Be unapologetically yourself because only you can do you boo-boo. 

Admire your strengths and recognize your weaknesses. We are all good at something and we also suck at other things, but that's okay. Aim for perfection but don't let it hold you back. You are a human being and are jam packed with stupid mistakes but those are learning opportunities (take them). Don't focus on the things you lack but recognize where you could use improvement because there will always be room for that. 

Markie and I were walking down 42nd St. in New York, September 11th weekend and it was raining. This man in a business suit crossed the street and a dollar fell out of his pocket. A woman walking past him noticed it fall, but by the time she picked it up to hand it to him, he was gone. She kept walking and as soon as her foot touched the curb, a homeless man asked her for some change. The dollar was still in her hand and she gave it to him. 

For some reason, this moment continues to stick with me as if it were a paranormal event. I don't know if a lot of people think of me as a spiritual being but I believe I am extremely close to my God. I only say this because the further I go through life the more I am learning about myself and my role in this universe. 

If you take the time to look  at the people who you surround yourself with and the thoughts you manifest into the world; you will quickly learn how intertwined we are. They say everything happens for a reason and I like to believe that reason is to support each other throughout our life's journey. I've always paid close attention to little moments like these. Here Markie and I were in the middle of a city we never thought we would be in and it was as if God stopped by to say hello. Always reminding me to do the right thing everywhere I go. 

“Get The Hell Outta Here!”

An account for the 1992 Los Angeles riots.

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My Theory of Things

Why are we here? What is our purpose?

If you know me, you know that I am obsessed with the cosmos, the stars, the universe, the planets and the galaxies. And while I think they are the most beautiful and magnificent objects filling our skies, it is not aesthetics that builds my fascination. How can we be a microscopic blue dot in the universe, yet the world is so vast in comparison to our…

Never Fashionable, Always Late

The staple items I need to survive the day.

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I Want To Know

I want to know why there are more cells in your body, than stars in the sky. I want to know the story of every person that passes by. I want to know the hidden secrets of the deepest seas. I want to know what makes you-you, and what makes me, me. I want to know the reason behind every tear shed in public because to cry in front of people says emotions have become just too overbearing. But I also…

Hundreds of people show up with masks, smoke bombs, sparklers, and the gem of it all, steel wool. If you didn’t know what was going on, you would think you were in a scene of the purge. While I may be burning out some exclusive secrets, I think it’s about time that people understand the hard work of these artists and the reason behind their passion. Street photographers of this kind have perfected the art of long exposure photography. This emerging art of painting with light and creating something beautiful out of practically nothing.

The day after Halloween my photographer boyfriend and I headed out to our third meet. I came handy with my badass ski mask nun costume and he had his tripod in hand. When we arrived in downtown Los Angeles we walked into nothing less but a huge street party. @6amlosangeles rockin on the ones and twos in his nifty shopping cart set the mood for this epic meet. This meet, in particular, was a global phenomenon. Instagram photography hosts met up all over the world at the same time to share this moment. So without further ado, here are some of my favorite shots from the Global Meet 2 in Los Angeles.

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It’s 2 AM and there is no way I’m catching any sleep tonight. The homework is piling up, these midterm study guides aren’t going to register, and the agendas I need to draft for my club meetings are blank. But all of this doesn’t scratch the surface of my daily tasks. (more…)

Mondays are a drag, you lag getting up in the morning, your coffee is at higher risk for spilling in your car, and you are more than likely to be late because you slept all day Sunday and were wide awake at night. Regardless of the day deemed as the worst of the week, there are some upsides to staying positive today. (more…)

I have recently launched an online campaign Girl Next Door to highlight women in male dominated fields. It is so important to inspire girls to become anything they can possibly dream of. I want to create a space where girls can find mentors and inspirations in a world so saturated with magazines telling us how to look.

As of today, we live in a world where women not only make less than their male…