Killing Paper

Why bother being anything or helping anyone or wanting to achieve anything?

Pointless messages of condolences and occasional kindness. Add it all together and what does it amount too when I am still alone? Why try and make other people happy and comfortable all the time when I never receive the same?

You’ll be ok, you’re tough like me. I know you don’t need my help.

I've been getting so close to s/h again and its scaring me because I never have the words to talk to other people about what's wrong. All I know is that I am hurting and feel so trapped. I wish I understood how to cope without pushing my emotions down and putting myself down by thinking my pain isn't enough to validate.