Sugar and Spice, You might get Iced

“I’m starting to think that you shouldn’t.” Quinn mumbled under their breath, as if speaking the words too loud could break something. Someone. 

“I just keep putting you in danger, Dames. It ain’t safe around me- ‘specially if you don’t know how to fight what can come at you in this.. business I’m with.”

The teen sighed, hanging their head and running their hands roughly though dyed locks, elbows heavy on their knees. This wasn’t such a guilt-ridden thing before. They only had to worry about themselves and their parents- who were fully capable of killing, leading, disposing.. 

Damien was innocent. He was like a bright ball of sunshine, slowly tainted by each deed they did that was deemed evil by society’s standards. The way he shakes when something happens has been killing them inside. As much as they loved him- as much as they saw him as the brother they never got to have...

Damien looked at the menu, and shifted in his place a bit. The smell of the place alone made his stomach grumble. In- both a good and a bad way. Sure- he was hungry. But would eating a big meal really be a good idea after having gone without eating for as long as he had? Well- at least it would make Quinn happy. 

“The chicken burger and garden salad sounds like a nice meal” he told them “and- uh- uh– just a uh- water to drink.” 

“Sure thing” They were definitely happy that he was going to try. Going up to the counter, they ordered what Damien wanted, and a double cheese burger for themselves. Sure, they already had dinner, but they could go for a good burger. If nothing else, it would be good for lunch tomorrow, and.. Maybe Damien wouldn’t feel bad about it if they ate something big with him. That was their thought process at least.

He smiled softly “I’d like that, a lot” he told them with a small nod “it would be.. it would be nice.” 

Family was something Damien hadn’t had in a while. And being brought in by Quinn’s family was honestly- he couldn’t explain. He felt safe, he felt loved. More loved than he ever had at home.

Unconditional love. 

“Cool, it’s a plan then.” They smiled back, it’d be something lighthearted for them to look forward to after tonight.

At last, the two got to the burger joint. Quinn took a deep breath of the smell of well cooked food as they held the door open for him. “Ahh.. Paradise.” They hummed, contemplating getting something for themselves too. 

“You’re one of the better people in the world” he told them “there’s a hell of a lot of people doin’ a hell of a lot worse than you and your family do, you know?” He stuck both hands in his pockets and he looked out, up to the glowing sign.

“I love you, Quinn. I know I’ve said that, but I really- I really do mean in. You’re like family to me.” 

Quinn was left in an honest speechlessness, mouth opening and closing for a minute before settling into a thin line. He was right, there were far worse people out there. As much illegal shit their family did, they mainly targeted the rich, greedy, and filthy. They didn’t deal drugs, or loanshark the poor, or..

“Alright, that sounds good to me” he nodded a bit. He did plan on getting the cheapest thin on the menu though, that usually was the smallest. Unless it was some high-class place. For some reason. 

“Thank you. The same goes for you, Quinn. You’re my family, and i want you to be okay.”

“Good.” Quinn loosened their hold, patting his back for a moment. It wouldn’t be much longer before they got there, they could see the glowing sign. They planned on not letting him leave till he had a proper meal.

“Well if I don’t get a say-” he sighed “as long as they have a chicken burger, or a non beef/pork option.” He extinguished the cigarette on the sole of his shoe and tucked the rest back into the carton.  

“I know” he said softly “and- I really am tryin’ even if it doesn’t seem like it.” 

“You don’t, it’s for your own good.” They gave him a soft squeeze. “Yeah, they do. Even got veggie burgers, if that’s more your thing.” Quinn went back to looking at their surroundings, just to make sure the coast was clear. A part of them was still on edge.

“I’m fine, Quinn” Damien told them “I’ve gone longer without eatin’ much.” He took another long drag, and let the smoke out of his nose, shaking his head a bit. He really had. Was it a problem? Probably. But- he’d always hated the way any fat sat on his body. 

What he wasn’t going to tell them, he only had eaten a bowl of cereal the day before. 

“I’ll do what I can for that” he assured them “you all mean a lot to me.. I really hope you know that.” 

“That wasn’t a request.” Quinn spoke firmly. “Just because you have, doesn’t mean you should. It..” They sighed “It ain’t healthy, and I’m sure you know that. C’mon, I know a really good burger place that’s open 24/7.” They turned to a different street, pulling him along with the arm around him.” 

There was a pause, only lengthened by another drag of their smoke before they dropped it and stepped the burning out. 

That got a chuckle out of him “yeah that’s true. She’d probably scold me for not havin’ eaten anythin’ today too- so looks like we might both get a lecture.” He smiled down at them, and gave them a small nudge with his elbow. 

Damien dragged his own and nodded “well- that’s good to know. Makes me feel safe knowin’ I have the top dogs to keep me safe.” 

Quinn’s head shot up to look at him for the first time since they started walking, “Damien..” They sighed, wrapping an arm around his side and pulling him close “Alright, c’mon, we’re getting you a burger, or something- You gotta eat something.” 

“Tell your mom I say ‘hi’ when you get back, by the way” he told them “she’s a sweet heart. I’m.. I know I said this already “I’m glad you all are safe, and okay.” 

Damien took the smoke out of his mouth and held it in his hand. “How often does something like this happen” he asked “people coming in to- to uh- harm you all I mean.” 

“I will, though I think she’ll be annoyed that I didn’t send you off with leftovers.” Quinn joked, only because it did happen before- the two tended to worry about how thin he seemed and loved to give him extra food. “Yeah, we’re okay. ..Hey, have you had dinner? Or.. better question would be if you feel able to stomach anything, I suppose.”

Damien held the smoke between his lips as he glanced down at them. “Who knows how it might have gone down if I showed up a few minutes sooner” he said softly. Lord knows how he’d been right now. Would the man have attacked him? Would he have just froze?  

“Yeah- usually when someone tries to attack someone they don’t give them a warnin’ before hand.” 

After the first drag, Quinn plucked the cigarrette out from their lips and simply held it as they blew out the smoke. “..Just glad you didn’t.” He could’ve gotten hurt, or even seen the moments prior to the man’s death- the execution playing over in their head, still fresh in their memory.

Damien’s hands shook as he stuck a cigarette in his mouth, and lit it. He took a long drag before he started walking.  He knew it was a bad habit, and one he wanted to break. But- addictions are a hell of a thing. 

“Right- okay” he said softly “I know I just- never thought I- I would see it. You know? I’m- just- fuck- Quinn.”

Quinn hadn’t been aware that Damien smoked- but it only made them feel better about the urge to pull out their own pack and stick a cancer stick between their teeth. Lighting it, they put their pack and lighter away. It was more for stress than anything else.

Damien leaned in a bit and tightened the hug himself. He loved Quinn, a lot. He loved their family, and the fact that he’d been accepted by them- and kept out of the business. 

“Can we just- go on a walk” he asked “just- walk somewhere anywhere? I- I need to move otherwise I’ll start to freak out more.” 

Quinn’s parents adored Damien, he was a good man and a good influence on the teenage business owner. They have yet to tell them that he saw them bloody, though..

Damien, on the other hand, wasn’t doing so okay. His body shook with each breath as he tried to calm down. But- god dammit. He was scared of losing them. Or worse- having to testify against them and their family in court. He knew all about it, after all. Wouldn’t he be guilty by association?  

“Good” he said softly “and- I promise you- I will text or- or somethin’ next time first.” 

Quinn’s grip tightened slightly upon feeling how shaky he was, feeling the twist in their gut only get worse. This wasn’t fair for him, he was.. just a normal guy, with normal fears and emotions that were hardly suppressed. 

Was it better off if they just.. weren’t in his life?

“Good..” They parroted, going quiet for a long moment as they stared off. They’ve never felt this guilty after ending someones life, and it wasn’t even that which was causing it.