COSMIC HORROR OC ASK MEME!! With Rell
Are they afraid of losing their memory with age? Are there any memories they'd like to forget?
Only the important ones. Rell doesn't recall many events in his life to begin with.
He'd like to forget most of his past before he got his jinki.
2. Do they believe humans are inherently selfish, or inherently selfless?
3. Do they believe in fate or free will?
A mix of the two. He believes some meetings are "fated", but the choice of whether people choose to follow that fate, is entirely in human hands.
4. Do they believe some individuals are inherently more important than others?
No, everyone is born equal in his eyes.
5. Do they believe some truths are better left buried?
No, he likes to think many issues wouldn't appear if everyone knew each other more deeply. This includes those buried secrets.
6. Do they believe suffering is necessary?
It depends. Some self-discovery is only possible through suffering.
7. Do they believe that humanity is alone in the universe (whether that pertains to God or extraterrestrials)?
No, he believes there is more to the universe than people think.
8. Do they fear being forgotten?
Only by specific people he doesn't want to be forgotten by.
9. Do they fear death or what comes after it?
He doesn't fear death, and he only fears what comes after it slightly. He just hopes his soul doesn't dissipate into nothingness.
10. Do they feel like their life is one they chose, or one forced upon them?
11. Do they have any recurring nightmares?
He sometimes has nightmares about being put in a tight place, or otherwise being completely bound. The idea he can't move or do anything to get himself out makes him panic.
12. Do they possess a secret that would destroy them if found out?
Maybe not exactly a secret, but the realization that, somewhere in him, he thinks everyone is ugly inside. Including himself.
13. Do they see more value in individualism or collectivism?
14. Have they ever done something that made them feel like they couldn't recognize themselves?
Join the raiders, but this was more of a good thing. He'd never done anything so drastic in his life, so he didn't expect he was strong enough to do it.
He took it as a sign he was changing for the better.
15. Have they ever doubted their own sanity?
Only when he was with his parents. Sometimes he wondered if the path they were choosing for him really was right, and he was just thinking wrong.
16. How do they cope with intrusive or impulsive thoughts?
He tends to zone out on his reflection in Verwan.
17. How do they cope with the knowledge of their own mortality, or the mortality of their loved ones?
He simply accepts it as a fact of life and does all he can to make sure the ones he loves live long.
18. How do they handle long stretches of solitude or silence?
He handles it quite well, though sometimes he'll get wrapped up in his thoughts and needs to say something. Even if it's just muttering to himself.
19. How do they react to the concept of eternity?
He wishes every beautiful thing in the world was preserved for eternity, so he can leave something behind when he dies. He doesn't like the concept of humans living forever, though.
20. How do they react when confronted with something they can't explain or don't understand?
He gets irritated and tries to rationalize it in the lens of his beliefs.
21. How would they react if they learned that some of their memories were not as they remembered them?
He wouldn't be too surprised.
If it was a memory that was very important to him, though, he would insist his own version was the "correct" one.
22. If everything they loved was gone, would they still be the same person?
No. He would walk around aimlessly for months like he's just living on autopilot. He would try to find someone else to love and somewhere else to belong.
Rell tends to take a very "out of sight, out of mind" approach for things like this.
23. If no one pays something any attention, do they believe it truly exists?
It depends if it's convenient for him.
24. If presented with the opportunity, would they accept omniscient knowledge?
Yes yes yes. You don't understand how quickly he'd accept it. He loves the idea of knowing the world and its inhabitants that deeply.
25. What are their irrational fears?
The fear that he'll suddenly be controlled, whether it be because of some kind of system he can't beat, or if he were taken hostage and forced to act a certain way.
26. What do they believe is life's purpose?
To understand the beauty of the world and one's soul.
27. What do they consider real? Do they only believe in things they can see and touch?
It depends. Rell tends to believe in what he can see and touch, but he also believes in things he can metaphorically "sense"; like a person's soul.
28. What do they think about dreams?
He wishes he understood them more. They seem like the keys to someone's subconscious.
29. What is their breaking point?
If the Raiders disbanded and he came to the conclusion that everything he did was for nothing.
30. What would they do to uncover a truth they desperately need to know?
31. When do they consider someone no longer a person? If someone remembers nothing, are they still themselves?
Anyone who does extremely immoral things (rape, extreme cannibalism, pedophilia) and anyone who mindlessly follows a system that oppresses them.
If someone remembers nothing, Rell doesn't think the person is still "themselves", as memories shape people. Remembering nothing leaves them as just a husk.
32. When do they feel the most alone?
When he's wandering a vast area on his own.
33. When do they think survival becomes pointless?
When there's no future left to hope for, good or bad.
34. When thinking about themselves, are they a soul, a consciousness, or a body? Do they think as I, we, or you?
He thinks of himself as a soul. Thinks as "I/you".
35. Which do they fear more, the deep ocean or the reaches of space?
36. Would they behave differently if they knew they were always being observed (but not judged) by a higher power?
No; but if he knew he was being observed by a higher power, he would try to reach out to them and ask questions more.
