I know from my heart that I am a generous person, I simply love to give back to my friends and family. Whether I’m broke as fuck or making bank, I’ll take care of my friends and family. That being said, I’ve come to the conclusion that I not only want to give monetary help to my friends but also collective help such as love, inspiration, motivation. I’ve lived a life of turning up, smoking weed every day for a semester, making out with strangers, and experimented with drugs my childhood self would not dare imagine. I will honestly say that I’ve done those for the experience, but to be honest it’s just not me. I was there to experience life, and to be with my friends. Although they’re more about turning up than me, I am honestly convinced that they care about me. My friends cried when I told them depressing situations happening to me, they offered me a home, they’ve given me a family to be a part of. After being cheated on by someone I used to love, they’re really the only ones I honestly trust (alongside my immediate family). Now as I ponder about the future, I can honestly say that theirs’ will be full of struggle. They lack the ambition to become something great, to make a difference, or simply to be truly successful. It’s hard for me to see people I know retweet posts about “After college I will be living a lavish lifestyle”, Photos of expensive houses and cars, etc. If you think about it, what their future entails will be nothing short of living the same life as their parents (simple suburban lifestyle). On the other hand, I have potential to be successful. I mean everyone else does too, but a feasible successful future is within my grasp. I can see a path to that success, and with my intelligence, I can easily follow that path. I can continue living a life of drugs and parties, but I want to make a difference. Not necessarily for myself, but for my friends and family. I have a solid drive in my heart to work fucking hard to be a physician to give back to my friends. To give back their kindness to me. To hopefully inspire them to make a difference if its not too late. It’s going to be a struggle for me to come up, but once I am there I will take anyone of my friends and family who were there for me to greatness. It all just sucks to see my friends not share a similar drive for success. I mean even though success is relative and based on perspective, I just wish they would make a difference for themselves or for their families. Now I wonder if I am a good friend for not motivating them enough, or are they bad friends for not having a drive... All I know is that I could die or leave peacefully knowing that my friends and family have a bright future.
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