i dont WANT pride months to be over,
on the other hand...

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@kibo-ichiro
i dont WANT pride months to be over,
on the other hand...

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the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child
the amount of people taking this post seriously enough that they're trying to debate me about the nature of every sewing machine in the world is really funny
proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.
Book that was good: I liked it 👍
Book that was bad: this sucked 👎
Book that I wanted to like but which failed to live up to my hopes: I am going to write 10,000+ words explaining exactly why this book wronged me

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so my library does not have a cash register, on account of we do not take in enough money on a daily basis to make that even remotely practical (we're fine free, and also small). instead, we have a change drawer and a blue bank bag for bills. change is dispensed manually, which is a real THING in a library largely frequented by boomers who will absolutely judge you if you pull out a calculator to figure charges or change.
anyway i had the experience the other day of having a patron my mother's age (early 70s) skeptically pull out a calculator to check my mental math, and i was RIGHT. have not experienced that high since the fifth grade
This was shared as a "bad" joke but I was so charmed by it I've been thinking about it for days.
Moose at the next table: No they don't. I've been waiting here for an hour.
if we can set aside attachment discourse for a moment (please) i think the jedi marriage prohibition makes sense in a “please don’t enter a complex legal, financial, social, and in some cases religious contract, the specifics of which vary wildly depending on planet and culture” way. the single jedi with a law degree does not have time to draft everyone’s prenups to prevent the whole order from getting sued
#we could create so many interesting new problems if we ignore romance and make it about contracts generally#jedi prohibition on getting a loan. jedi prohibition on signing a waiver before bungee jumping. etc
"Qui-Gon didn't try to buy Anakin or the engine because there wasn't anyone in town who offered a credit exchange service" wrong. Qui-Gon gambled for Anakin under the table because after dealing with the Cyrkon Delinquency of 24850, Master Olobi, Esq, has personally promised to hang by the the toes from the highest tower of the Temple for one week any Jedi who generates any trackable legal transaction or obligation between the Order and the Hutts.
my favorite ao3 writers be like this

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One hot and cool writing tip that I wish more people knew is... you don't have to write out people's accents phonetically. You just don't. You are not Dickens. You are (hopefully) not Rowling. There are so many other ways you can make someone's speech feel authentic to their background, or just make it clear that they're speaking in a certain accent, not limited to:
literally just saying 'he spoke with a Welsh accent'; sure, it's a bit blunt, but it gets the job done in a pinch. "He's completely drunk," he said, his southern drawl lingering on the final syllable as if to highlight the extent of the offence. Y'know, something of that ilk, but not as shit.
learning the specific vocabulary and syntax that someone with that accent might use. Sticking with the Welsh theme, because it's objectively the best accent*, there's a bunch of things that differentiate a colloquial South Walean accent, outside of our famed tendency to elongate a vowel to the point of death. The way we use prepositions (where to by is he?), the vocabulary borrowed from Welsh - saying that someone daft is twp, or something small is dwty - can easily signpost our speech as being from that specific area, without needing to type something like "'e's absolutely 'angin', man, pissed as a faaht 'e is!" Something less jarring, such as "He's absolutely hanging, he is." is just as clear. A character who says "Do you want a cuppa?" is coded or located very differently to one who says "You'll have a cup of tea, so you will."
ditto if there are specific ways that someone from a certain area might refer to a well-known concept. Regional words for mother and father, for example, or words that are class-specific; your character who calls his parents 'mater and pater' is likely inhabiting a different socioeconomic strata than your character who calls them 'mam and dad'. See if there's a colloquial way of saying 'yes' and 'no'; a lot can be signposted if your character says 'nah' rather than 'no', or 'aye' rather than 'yes'. A character saying 'couch' is inherently coded differently to one who says 'sofa'.
The reasons that writing accents phonetically is Generally Ill-Advised, In My Opinion are as follows:
quite simply, you're probably not being as clear in conveying the sounds of the accent as you think you are. Taking JK Rowling's work as the best possible example of this, her attempts at writing a Cockney accent phonetically come across like someone is chewing a mouthful of cheese curds and struggling to contain them. There's no consistency, no proper understanding of how to transcribe syllables into writing in a way that coherently conveys the accent she's trying to portray. I mean this so seriously, but what the flying fuck is: 'Well, 'e 'ad these 'ead pains and 'e was def'nitley nervous. Depressed maybe.' It's a crime, is what it is.
it's just plain hard to read. Trying to wade through sentences full of apostrophes and elision, parsing what's actually being said, gets tiresome. It asks the reader to do work that you're actively making harder for them. And that's not always a bad thing! Making readers Put Some Fucking Effort In can be very fruitful! But do you really want them to be struggling to understand every single thing that your Character B is saying for 350 pages?
which leads me onto the last point, and the most important in my mind: writing out accents like this always, always affects accents that are already in some way Othered. They're either racialised or working class, or associated with certain local regions that have negative stereotypes - think the deep South of the US, or the Welsh Valleys. They're never the 'default'. And this raises thorny questions about what the default is, what the standardised accent is, the accents that do and do not merit differentiation from the norm. You're relegating Character B to being hard to read because he's from, idk, Sunderland. You've decided that he isn't speaking 'properly', and therefore the reader needs to understand that other people think he's speaking weirdly. That, to me, is the principle issue. Because returning to JK Rowling (a sentence I hoped never to type), the only characters who speak like this in her work are working class, or they're from other countries. They're never from, you know, Surrey. Wonder why that is. And it's easy to be glib about it, but I do think it reifies class and regional boundaries in a way that's ultimately harmful.
This isn't to say that there's never a place for eye dialect in writing - Trainspotting, for example, wouldn't be what it is without it, and there's definitely a different conversation to be had when it's your own accent and you're making a deliberate point about identity by differentiating through eye dialect - but I think that the blanket assumption of 'oh shit, my character is from Ireland, I'd better type that out phonetically!' can actually be both damaging to your writing and to your character representation, and I think that instead doing the work to really understand the vocabulary, speech patterns and unique aspects of a language or dialect always makes a work feel more authentic and lived-in.
To wit, less of this shite:
There’s mony a slip, an’ I’m no losin’ sight o’ any o’ my suspectit pairsons, juist yet awhile. (Peter Wimsey, if you were wondering, and yes, that's supposed to be Scottish)
and more of this:
"Are we straight so?" "Aye, we're straight," said Jim. "Straight as a rush, so we are." (Jamie O'Neill, Irish, from At Swim, Two Boys)
*objective determination made via a sample size of one: me, in an elaborate hat.
thinking about young Odysseus and Penelope because of that one ask…
percy jackson treating the color blue as a superstition, because when he was a kid it was an inside joke between his mom and him, because it was the one part of his childhood his jerk stepdad couldn't invade since he didn't even understand it, because it proved his mom loved him. after all he told her one time in the second grade that his favorite color was blue and she immediately decided to make it Their Thing.
the awkward 11 year old kid on financial aid at his fancy private school, with blue candy wrappers in his pocket and a blue eraser so he won't fail the test. blue marker doodles on his arm that he drew in the lobby of the principal's office so he won't get expelled (again.) blue t-shirt on the first day of summer, so maybe his stepdad won't take notice of him when he comes back from boarding school. blue birthday cake so the next year will be lucky and blue pancakes because him and his mom made them together and blue backpack so maybe this school will be the one where people will treat him like he's Normal.
he's wearing a red jacket when the Minotaur attacks him and his mom on Half-blood Hill and he'll never wear that color again. when it's time to pick roommates in sixth grade at Yancy Academy and he doesn't have any friends to reach for immediately, he picks the boy with the blue shoes. this boy's name is grover underwood and he's a good roommate choice because later he'll turn out be a great satyr and one of the best friends this kid's ever had. percy wraps blue paper tape on his sword's hilt when the leather grip is falling apart and the walls of his mom's boyfriend's apartment (the jerk stepdad died) are dark blue so maybe this new guy will be cool. sally and paul's wedding ring is a blue diamond so yeah, he's cool. fuck.
they can think he's weird. superstitions mean nothing in greek mythology. but he's just scared. Luke Castellan's eyes were blue but when Kronos possessed him, they turned gold. nine year old in his fourth boarding school in four years, walking home wondering if his mom still cares because he doesn't know she's sending him away to make the monsters lose track, he just thinks she's sending him as far as possible from her. being reassured by the fact that she remembered to bring blue candy from her job at Sweet on America to greet him home for Christmas break and his stepdad will call them weird but he won't take notice.
he'll redo the blue paper tape on the sword's hilt for the entire month after the battle of manhattan so nothing else goes wrong, kronos won't come back, it'll really be over. and when that goes doesn't work and the giants rise on August 1st he'll wear blue instead of his CHB t-shirt so Gaea will fall.
he'll be ok. it'll be ok.
In other news, apparently Mitch McConnell is at death's fuckin door.
You know what to do, people.
Everyone in my notes right now:
Writing isn't the hobby. Being insane about little fake people is the hobby. Writing is just the only outlet i have for that

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This 2002 estate on a serene private pond looks like a country house in Lowndesboro, AL, but I wasn't prepared for the interior that is made to look like a French Arcadian-style castle (I don't even know what that is). 6bds, 10ba, 17,000sqft, $3.5m.
Actually, it looks more like a modern farmhouse than a castle.
Op turned off reblogs but I MUST