"—There are places in each of us the other can't reach."

Can't Fucking Sleep Disorder

Can't Fucking Wake Up Disorder

What Is A Focus

Oops I Did It* Again (*Spent Thirteen Hours On Youtube And Forgot To Eat Or Drink)

The World Is Too Noise Today

All My Friends Hate Me (I Deduced This From A Three Word Text)

I Forgot About [thing] Literally As Soon As I Turned Around

development of anxiety and/or depression later on in life

specifically, something that really fuckin hit me like a ton of bricks: adhd VERY commonly CAUSES anxiety to develop in teens and adults. It’s a very common symptom of adhd in adults, actually. which is like. fucking WILD.

inability to hold a job for long

failing classes/flunking out of high school/college

doing well in school up until a certain point and then suddenly crashing and burning without any discernible reason

increased risk of substance abuse/drug addiction

being really, really bad at driving (no, i’m serious, this is an actual thing and it fucked me up when i learned about it)

family relationships being tense/really shitty (like, shittier than those without adhd on average)

being a lonely kid because you’re quiet and weird and annoying if you talk about stuff you like so you don’t make a lot of friends and you’re fuckin sad

increased divorce rates bc surprise, romantic relationships are also negatively impacted!!

higher chance of going to jail fucking oof

extreme procrastination in everything, even things that aren’t even that bad (like taking a shower, getting out of bed, brushing your teeth, etc.)

being constantly bored with everything but also simultaneously being TERRIFYINGLY overwhelmed at the slightest provocation

higher chances of developing an eating disorder

being unable to take even the tiniest bit of criticism because literally any comment that can even remotely be seen as negative means you’re a failure and stupid and dumb and no one likes you and you should give up on everything and just die in a hole (it’s called rejection sensitive dysphoria, it’s real and it’s a bitch. look it up)

being more emotional than ur peers/colleagues (small frustrations make u hella upset, having hella mood swings, talking 57396893 miles an hour when you get excited, etc.)

having EXTREMELY low self esteem (like srsly

forgetting everything everywhere all the time

having a metric fuckton of projects that you started and never finished

focusing on something for five hours, not realizing it’s been five hours, forgetting to eat and drink water bc ur so focused

having literally zero concept of time in general (time goes HYPERSPEED when you’re hyperfocusing, you underestimate how long it takes to do tasks, you’re always late, you can’t plan for the future like at all, etc.)

having no idea what the fuck prioritizing works. literally impossible to prioritize tasks wtf am i supposed to do all the tasks are important i can’t just NOT do a task what the hell am i supposed to do oh god oh god oh fuck oh g— (aaaand then you end up becoming overwhelmed and not doing anything at all)

finding it rly hard to listen to other ppl in a conversation

also, probably interrupting ppl a lot more than the avg person (not on purpose, ur not meaning to be rude or anything of course. it’s just adhd baybee)

BEING MORE LIKELY TO IMPULSE BUY!!! (this is another one that hit me right in the face lol)

being really fucking jittery all the got damb time is a symptom, but because adhd likes to fuck u up, being really fuckin TIRED all the time is ALSO a symptom. this can be bc of sleep problems due to adhd, and/or due to the amount of energy it takes for you to focus on shit.

having worse health, because surprise, adhd makes u less likely to take care of yourself! yay! remembering to take meds, maintaining a sleep schedule that isn’t god awful, neglecting exercise, compulsive eating (of foods that are usually pretty fuckin unhealthy), and the general lack of creating/maintaining healthy habits.

being perceived as the following: selfish, insensitive, self-centered, inconsiderate, uncaring, insensitive, irresponsible, childish, lazy, etcetera. fun fact, adhd makes it hard to have “normal” conversations bc u get bored when you’re not being stimulated enough, so ur brain says NOPE and u get distracted, or start daydreaming/zoning out. also, the interrupting thing plays a part in this too. all that shit makes it easy for people to assume that you think what you have to say is more important or whatever. which like. sucks.

fidgeting. this one is probably a more well known symptom of adhd, but still. it’s not always just the leg shaking thing you see people talking about. it can manifest in other ways too. cracking your knuckles, picking at/peeling your nails/skin (and/or biting your nails), clicking a ballpoint pen, tapping out rhythms on your desk (or just tapping without rhythm), humming, bopping/moving to music playing in your head, doodling (this is a huge one for me), biting pencils, rolling things inbetween your fingers (bits of fabric, clay, putty, etc.), whapping your pencil up and down super fast so it gets blurry (this one caused many a pencil to go flying lol), twisting a ring on your fingers, chewing your lips and/or the inside of your cheek... ETCETERA. jesus fuckin croist on a cracker i probably listed way too many examples but Anyways ,,, SWWWWIFTLY moving onwards—

being less well adjusted as your peers/colleagues. basically, you might be more immature than other people your age. you might not know how to function in society as well as everyone else. you’re generally just poorly adjusted and dysfunctional and it sucks ngl.

ngl if you were a “gifted kid” in elementary school who had “lots of potential” but then ended up being mediocre at best later in life, you might have adhd. just something i’ve noticed as a common trait in folks w adhd lol

zero motivation to do literally anything ever even if it’s fun (like how i often watch youtube for hours rather than getting out of bed and eating yummy food while doing art, or hanging out with friends, etc.)

here’s another one that threw me for a loop: untreated adhd in adults can cause said adults to have worse relationships with their children than the average parent (if they decide to have kids of course). more research on this specific fact made me realize a lot of stuff about my mom. a lot of shit clicked into place. y’all. adhd is one tricky bastard.

going to a psychiatrist and getting diagnosed with anxiety, then treating your anxiety but you’re still not doing well and you don’t know why (hint: it’s the adhd,,, the rotten bastard created that anxiety and now it’s trying to hide behind it)

there’s also a lot more that can happen, and there are sites that go over the stuff i mentioned above in way more detail. also, please note that adhd manifests itself differently in women. it’s a lot less obvious, and statistics about adhd being more common in men are very misleading. what’s more, women with untreated adhd are even MORE likely to experience the bad stuff that comes with it. eating disorders and depression to name a few. but like yeah, there’s a lot more on that. do some research bc yalls minds will be blown by that shit

tldr***: adhd masquerades as a fuckton of other mental illnesses and is a GIANT pain in the ass. a pain in the ass that, by the way, can literally ruin your life!

***ONE LAST THING:

if you think you might have adhd, consider researching...:

- rejection sensitive dysphoria

- executive dysfunction

- inattentive type adhd

- undiagnosed adhd in adults

- undiagnosed adhd in women

- adhd sleep disorders

- and more! :)

Always use more garlic than the recipe calls for

"Ehhh fuck it close enough" is a great measurement tool

Find like 5 recipes that you like, adjust them how you like them, make them until you hate them

Clean as you go

If a recipe is from a mommy blog, you will need more spices

- if sweet recipe doesn’t contain vanilla powder/vanilla sugar, it’s wrong and you need to add some to taste

- if recipe wants you to add cream or milk to hot mixture, heat it in another pot first so the whole thing doesn’t split when added: warm things in warm mixture, cold things in cold mixture.

- arrowroot or potato/corn starch (mixed with some water) is a good substitute for a traditional roux when making soup or stew

- to enhance the flavor of red meat, season with a bit of cinnamon

- sprinkle of sugar in anything savory, sprinkle of salt in anything sweet

I base showering around the condition of my hair, too! And of course the executive dysfunction always wants me to ignore needing to shower. (Right now, I’m writing a comment on this post when I SHOULD be washing my hair.)

Executive dysfunction is constantly messing with the lives of people with adhd, but I think it hits me worst when it comes to showering. Because it’s not just a chore, it’s got a lot of steps. I have to undress (which means getting cold), I have to shower (which means getting wet), get dry, find new clothes to wear (which means at some point I need to do the washing), and then dry and style my hair. It feels like it takes up a lot of time, and it definitely takes up a lot of energy.

They live their life thinking that they’re just overly sensitive, but you’re not! It’s part of your adhd!

it concerns me that people really don’t know that adhd isn’t a personality type or behavioral problem.

adhd isn’t someone who’s personality is driven by fun and disorder.

adhd is someone who’s brain goes all over the place looking for dopamine, because it doesn’t make or register enough of it, and when it finds a source of dopamine, it hyperfixates on it. it’s about deregulation of attention as well as emotions.

it’s not a person who can’t behave. a person with adhd can look like a lot of things. misconceptions about what adhd looks like kept me from even looking for a diagnosis, and it also kept myself and others (professionals, even) from taking my suspicions seriously.