lewis ☆

i haven’t fronted for more than a few minutes in like 2 years but i just stayed up until 8 writing and am making my own blog. life is wonderful

my alter john has been wanting to make a separate blog, this may happen. unsure of what i’ll do with this blog but i will let my loyal mutuals know

i suspect my fp has the means to talk to me and is choosing not to but is in touch with the person who ruined my life/caused me to attempt/worst person i know. but if i ever bring this up to him i will sound schizophrenic and abusive

ocd makes no sense i saw someone mention a city in north england and now i have to blink really hard twice so my fp doesn’t leave me

born to say i’ll kill myself if you ever leave me again, forced to say i understand if you have to stop talking to me for your own safety

the idea of killing myself on the second month anniversary of last talking to my fp (if he doesnt contact me before then, but he probably will) is very delicious but also i have things to do and am too focused on my ed relapse to die

had nightmares about things my fp told me again #awesome

debating switching my (alter, john, not irl name) name with one of the host’s oc’s names because it’s really cool and i want it

i cant tell whats a delusion and whats ocd

the lion does not concern himself with the psychosis symptom holder alter fronting, restlessness, it being autumn, and having revelations that everything exists in a pattern

it started with it being autumn and hearing a song that i used to listen to in 2023 and now mr religious psychosis is back to fronting every day

the lion does not concern himself with returning symptoms of psychosis