Female Led Relationship Blog

my blog’s theme is me. a compilation of every single thing i love. every interest. every musing. and everything in between.

Instead of this whole "unlearning shame" bullshit, we should really be teaching people to distinguish between when you feel bad because you genuinely did wrong and when you're just beating yourself up for no good reason.

Christianity already did this millenia ago by differentiating between shame (bad) and guilt (good). Shame is inwardly-focused and incentivizes denial and avoidance of responsibility, while guilt is outwardly-focused and incentivizes confession and penance. The "Catholic guilt" trope was memed into being a bad thing by people who think obligation to honesty and deference to others is oppressive and suffocating.