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A sleeping beauty movie where you don't see sleeping beauty until the very end and when you do... Plot twist! It's Michael Cera

My four year old niece just shouted "It wasn't me! I found it in my room!" To her mother as she held basically a log of poop in her hand and my sister rolled around on the sofa and went "JUST PLEASE GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM... OH MY GOD, DROP IT! THATS SO GROSS!"

My friend said eye model and all I could think of was someone holding a pair of eyeballs in a showroom and being like, “yes, this is the model 775, do you like them? They compliment your complexion. I have the model 774 in blue, but let me tell you, model 775 in green is a step up and just the perfect color for you.”

LO SQUALO MANGIA UN RAGNO

Is there any pictures of a baguette quoting the Torah? Is that a thing that exists?

My grandparents had a dog named Dan when I was like seven and when he passed away they had him creamated. Last November, it's been like ten years, my cousin found the urn and was like "oh guys it's Dan" and then she opened it and goes "it's not Dan, it's potpourri! I'm gonna smell it!" And the rest of us all go "No buddy! Don't do that!" And she stuck her face in it and inhaled deeply and then she whipped her face out put it down as far from her as she could get it. Turns to us and goes "oh God it's not potpourri" and that's how my cousin snorted a big old line of Dan