Kellbellsparkles

I thought Dietrich was an ancestor of Mercedes but turns out he’s a descendant at least from her mother’s side, the Lamine family

Three Houses had four endings, too, and lots of pairing endings

🙃

Starting with the Blue Lion house as male Byleth (I’d never played as the male before)

Felix, honey, I love you, but what is wrong with you? 🙂 picking a fight with Dedue and basically telling Ingrid to be a trad housewife. This is his pre character development, but still

I haven’t really wrapped my head around Sylvain either. He can’t take when he’s called out and embarrassed in front of everyone in his and Ingrid’s C support, but he does it to himself. He holds contempt for women, especially those showing an inkling of interest in him believing they only want him for his Crest, but they’re still human beings 🙃 human beings don’t appreciate having their emotions toyed with and the consequences can be severe

Then again, severe consequences could be what Sylvain is counting on because his self sabotaging is so severe; he doesn’t think he can have anything else in his life. Felix was right to call him out in their C support: “you don’t think to consider how your actions could be hurting others or even holding them back”

Jax made ribbit promise not to tell anyone about that night, too 🙂 so she could never really say what was bothering her

I love them together

They can heal and move on from Jax together

I’ve been thinking a lot about Pomni’s chemistry with Jax in episodes 5 and 6. Ragatha was right to be worried about Jax corrupting her (like she did to Ribbit and Kaufmo). To us viewers, it can feel invalidating to what Gangle has suffered as an abuse victim.

Looking at it objectively, Pomni has only been in the circus for a short time and doesn’t know Jax as well. She has her guard up after she gets thrown on the syrup truck, sure, and hasn’t forgotten. Then, as Jax’s mask begins to crack, Pomni gets something from her that she appreciated.

I don’t really remember Pomni and Zooble having many interactions. Poor Gangle was shy and kept to herself, being at the mercy of Jax’s whims. Ragatha hadn’t dropped her “everything is fine and dandy” mask. Kinger wasn’t always lucid.

For whatever reason, Pomni felt a sense of realism from Jax, and had matching personalities as tag team tricksters. Jax was the first person Pomni hugged of her own volition.

Then, Jax was being Jax saying the most emotionally damaging things to Pomni. I think if Pomni wasn’t so emotionally intelligent/aware of her surroundings and spotted “Abel” spying on them, Jax would’ve definitely abstracted in episode 7.

Do I hate Jax? Yes. Was her abstraction deserved? Well, it’s hard to pity someone who does it to themselves: Jax’s human memories and trauma don’t excuse her from the problems and damage she herself created.

Looking at it objectively, it’s like having a sibling we’re stuck with. We don’t choose to have that sibling nor do we choose to live in the same house. It’s just the situation we’re given and have to learn to co exist somehow. Co existing may even mean just staying away from each other if that sibling isn’t willing to change.

There are days I could care less about my little brother and wish he were no longer around from all the emotionally abusive traits he’d exhibited for years, but he’s disabled: chronic pain, traumatic brain injury, can’t work, can’t drive. At the end of the day, he’s my brother still, and I really don’t want him to die. I can’t force him to accept help/talk through his emotions, but I’m ready to hear him out when he’s ready.

Jax never changed or really took accountability, and now she’s gone, and it’s how she’ll be remembered by.

Me, my younger brother, and older trans sister grew up in a relatively conservative family (we didn’t go to church, but we could’ve been swept by that discriminating side of the church that makes religion look bad if we did)

My sister’s egg didn’t crack until 3-4 years ago in her early 30s. Even in high school, even if she was masking with being the theater kid, she was never mean/abusive/drove anyone to kill themselves, especially when she had her bouts of depression and fights with our parents

I disagree about him having any fault in what happened to Ribbit. An abuse victim often blames themselves and stays silent/ is really good at hiding it)

Rewatching that segment where Kinger and Ragatha were often paired up and bonding

Jax latched onto Kaufmo to avoid Ribbit

Jax alienating and gaslighting Ribbit

Ribbit pretending everything is fine and low key hoping that Jax will stop being a jackass

Ribbit blaming herself and not telling anyone because of her promise to Jax/the one left out because there’s only five of them

How could Kinger, Kaufmo, and Ragatha have known if Ribbit was that good at hiding it (They could’ve asked Ribbit directly and she could’ve lied and put on her happy mask)? Although Kaufmo and Ragatha questioned Jax (because they were indeed especially close), she brushed it off.

He did say “I might’ve found a way out of here”

Both have done fucked up shit

- Jax never apologized and continued to self loathe. She actively knew what she was doing and knew she could be better, but chose not to even after the last piece of her denial (kinger being the crazy one) shattered completely in her face

- Caine is an AI and didn’t understand humans/how his own actions were pushing them away. While Kinger never intended to delete him, Caine believed that was the intent and was left to reflect in the void. He made the choice to access the WiFi and learn about humans and understand that keeping them trapped was wrong. Caine didn’t use the words “I’m sorry”; he made it about how he hurt everyone. “I understand that you don’t trust me after everything I did and I don’t expect forgiveness. I want to give you all your freedom to make the circus how you want. I made something (the montage of their real life counterparts) for when you’re ready to see it.” He didn’t rush them; they approached the screen projector on their own time. Caine changed his behavior to be a better version of himself and got to befriend them like he always wanted.

Caine demonstrated true accountability

Jax ran from it until the very end

Side note: I can’t forgive Jax for gaslighting Ribbit and driving her to suicide (goose said it point blank when she sketched au trans Jax). Then, she bullied Gangle relentlessly whom I believe would’ve abstracted sooner if not for Ragatha and Kaufmo and later, Zooble and Pomni (who intervened during the Spudsy’s adventures). THEN, she said to Pomni when asked what she’d do if she abstracted the next day, “I’d move on and forget all about you :)”

I didn’t know students could approach me on their own to want to join my class :)

Jumping on the transfemme Jax confirmation celebration bandwagon

Top 2: Kinger and Caine (by extension, Bubble)

Next 2: Ragatha and Pomni

Next 2: Zooble and Gangle

Least favorite: Jax