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"What's your name LaRusso junior?" Robby turned to see my brother in the middle of the backseat. 

"Tony put on your seatbelt." I reminded my brother in the back seat. "Anthony, Tony for friends. Anthony, for you." My brother glared at Robby.

"How exactly do you know my sister again?" Anthony dug Robby. Keene chuckled. "I guess I'm her boyfriend." Now I chuckled.  

"So you will be driving us to school?" My brother's pupils dilated in joy. "Yeah, sure," Robby replied while swerving out of the street. "Maybe you could call me Tony." Brother started to "approve" my boyfriend.

"Progress." Keene leaned over to me. 

I was used to being invisible, but now, people are looking at me, talking about me.

Our plan was working out perfectly. And it was always showtime at lunch. We walked in, he had his hand in my back pocket, and everyone was looking at us. Then he turned me around so we were facing each other. Keene grabbed my hand and with the other one, he was searching for something in his back pouch. 

"What are you doing?" I ground out between my teeth when I noticed Tory was looking at us too. "This is for you," Robby whispered as he showed me a small piece of paper folded into a square. Sydney with a heart, the paper had written on it.

He handed the paper to me and then put a strand of hair behind my ear as he leaned over and whispered to me: "Good job." We smiled at each other. 

"See you in a bit, okay?" I tucked his hair behind his ears and then he was good to go to his table to have lunch with his friends. 

It's weird and somewhat off-putting to be congratulated on doing nothing more than accepting a note and having an ass pocket for someone to stick their hand into, but I guess that's where my life has taken me. 

I made my way out of the cafeteria after hiding in the back when Aisha appeared and pulled me into the nearest empty classroom. 

"This Keene thing is insane! Who knew you had a secret boner for the king of the cafeteria crowd?" She was so into it. "I know, I'm just as shocked as you are." I smiled. I am sorry to lie to my only friend, but it wasn't a big deal. 

"Did Sam freak?" Aisha asked. "Actually, you know, I've been avoiding her calls so she doesn't know yet," I confessed, avoiding her direction.

It wasn't until a few more days that I decided to call my sister. 

"Hey, Sam. How's college? Did I mention I have a fake boyfriend? No? Yeah, it's Robert Keene." I rehearsed what I was going to say to her. I was sitting on my bed with my notebook opened in front of me.

"How did it start? See, that's a funny story because it definitely wasn't because I was trying to convince your ex-boyfriend that I wasn't in love with him, that's for sure." A fake conversation continued.

"Oh, shit." I lay, banging my head into a pillow. Skype beeped from the notebook in front of me. 

"Hi." I accepted the call and smiled at my sister. "Hi, finally. I feel like we haven't talked in forever, so tell me everything." She looked a bit sleepy. It was really soon in the morning in Japan.

"Well... I'm just making cupcakes tonight for Tony's bake sale." I said literally the first thing that came to my mind. "Cupcakes? No. It's so much easier to make brownies." She chuckled and winked at me with good intentions of giving me advice. Mom and Dad both worked, so that left it up to me, but I'm not complaining. 

"I already bought all the ingredients for cupcakes, and you're not really here, so..." "Okay, fine, do cupcakes. I'm sure they'll be great." Sam encouraged me. I was having a hard time breathing. It was hard, more like weird to see her after everything that has been happening lately.

"Have you seen Miguel, lately?" "Pff, no. Why would I be seeing Miguel?" I snorted absently. "I don't know, 'cause he's our neighbor? Is everything okay with you?" Sam suspected something was off with me.

"No, you know... no, no sorry. I am just so excited to get to these cupcakes. I think I'm gonna go and do that but it was so good to see you, Sam." I smiled at my sister. 

"Wait, Sydney-" "Okay, bye." I nodded into the camera and left the call. 

But really, I went down to bake the cupcakes. Except the flour spilled everywhere. I was about to put the first batch of cupcakes to bake when the doorbell rang. 

"Hey." I looked up to find Keene on my front porch. "Who are you supposed to be, the Pillsbury Doughboy?" He grinned. "No, I'm making cupcakes for Anthony's bake sale." I sigh.

"Can I come in?" "Sure," I replied and opened the door more for him to come through. I went into the kitchen to put the cupcakes to bake. "You know it's easier if you make something you can cut into squares like brownies?" He closed the door behind him and followed me into the kitchen.

"Robby Keene, what are you doing here?" I leaned both hands on the counter. "Did you not read my note? I'm taking you to Greg's party." Said as if it was a known fact. "Oh, I'm not going to that." I moved my head from side to side and snorted. "Yeah, you are. One, Tory is gonna be there, and two, parties are in the contract." Keene insisted.  

"Sorry, Robby, I can't." I motioned to all the baking stuff around me with my hands. "A deal's a deal." Robby folded his arms across his chest.

"You can't what? Is that Robby Keene?" My dad appeared out of nowhere. "Little Robby Keene, you're as tall as me now." Dad laughed. "Good to see you again, Mr. LaRusso." They shook hands. "You can call me Daniel." My dad winked at Robby.

"I'm here to pick up Lara Jean, take her to a friend's party," Robby straightened up to look obedient, "The parents will be home, and I will have her home early. Is it alright if we go?" "Yes." Dad smiled. "No!" I echoed. "I can't go. I have to finish these cupcakes."

"I think Anthony and I can handle some cupcakes. Why don't you go have fun with your friend Robby?" Dad walked closer to me and untied my apron, which he then massaged. "Get dressed, get changed, you look like a crazy lady." He pushed me over to the stairs. "Dad, don't, please." I mocked but it didn't help. 

"No drinking. No drugs. No hands." I overheard Dad instructing Robby on the way to my room. 

I shuffled a few things around in my room and opted for a black dress just above my knees. And a pale blue sweatshirt. I only did some basic make-up and then went downstairs. 

"Wait, I'll help you." Robby jumped out of the car and ran to help me with my bike. "What if you don't tell him anything?" Keene suggested. "Why?" I chuckled. "What if we let people think we were actually together? Just for a little while." Keene put my bike down and I wanted to take it, but he wouldn't let go. My eyes widened, not liking the idea so far. "And not just in front of Miguel. I mean everybody." Robby went on with his idea.

"Why would you want that?" I laughed absurdly. "For starters, when Tory heard you kissed me- she went nuts. And if she thinks you and I are a thing, she'll want to get back together." "Oh, so you wanna use me as your pawn?" I rolled my eyes.

"Well, see... technically you used me as your pawn first when you jumped on me." I tried to take my bike, but he was still holding it. "You don't have to give me an answer now, just think about it, okay?" Robby looked me in the eyes and let go of the bike. "Don't hold your hopes up." I turned around with the bike and headed towards the house.

~

I relaxed on the ground that evening. Cold floor, empty head, and the stickers of stars I have glued on my ceiling.

And the ringing of the phone. Another missed call from Miguel.

"Come on. Call me." Imaginary Miguel appeared laying next to me with a grin on his face. "Stop it." I urged.

"There's so much I wanna talk about, music I wanna share, tattoos I wanna get with you..." "Miguel, stop. This cannot happen." "We'd be so great together." He got closer to me.

"Oh my god, shut it." Robby appeared on the other side and we both looked at him. He was smiling. "It's a cool trick, right? Wanna see me do it again?" Keene chuckled and Miguel was gone.

I sat up, as if from a bad dream. "Oh my god." I put both hands to my face.

I wasn't much mentally present at school the next day. Physically, yes, but mentally, no. All I could think of was the Robby-Miguel situation. As I kind of made up my mind, I seized the free time before my next period.

"Keene," I yelled as I made my way through the field because they were having lacrosse practice.

He took off his helmet and walked over to me. "What?" The wind blew his hair all over his face. "Let's do this," I announced. He grinned and leaned down to kiss me. And we did.

Then I turned around and all his teammates were looking at us. "I'm going to trig." I patted Robby on the side of his shoulder. "Have a nice day." I saluted all and headed off.

After school, we met up behind it on the outside benches. No one was there thankfully and we could discuss our "relationship" privately.

"So, first things first, we need to have a contract so we are on the same page about the rules." I took a pen and paper out of my bag.

"You got rules? Come on, you really know how to snap the fun out of a situation." The boy next to me chuckled sadly. "It's important to know where you stand in certain issues." "Like what?" Robby laughed. "For example, I don't want to kiss you anymore." I stated.

Robby got shocked and searched for the right words for a while. "You crazy? Who's gonna believe we're in a relationship if I'm not allowed to kiss you?"

"You may be the James Dean of this kind of stuff but I've never had a boyfriend." I explained. "You have the references of an 80-year-old woman." Keene chuckled at me. "What does that matter?" "It matters because I don't want all my firsts to be fake. If I'm making out with someone, I'm gonna do it for real." I insisted.

"But you kissed me first," he reminded. "This is non-negotiable." I wrote "no kisses" on our contract

"Fine," he sighed and sat on the table," but we need to figure something out because people are gonna get suspicious if I'm not allowed to touch you."

"Okay, you have a point." I acknowledged him. "How about this? You can put your hand in my back pocket." I smiled. "Hand in your back pocket? What the hell is that?" I got surprised. He can't be serious. "Sixteen candles? It's the opening image." Robby wasn't on the same page with me. "It's a couples thing," I added but he still wasn't catching on.

"Yeah, maybe in the '70s." He chuckled. "Sixteen Candles was the '80s. John Hughes?" Robby shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing?" "Nope." He smiled.

"Okay, two more rules. You have to watch 16 Candles with me because it's a classic. And we can never tell anyone this relationship is fake, 'cause it would be too humiliating for both of us." I recapitulated while highlighting some words.

"Duh, the first rule of Fight Club." "What?" I didn't understand. "Are you serious? You've never seen fight club?" All shocked, he leaned closer. I shook my head from side to side. "Oh my god! Okay, write it down. Double feature." He tapped his finger on the rules paper. "After we watch the Candles movie, we are watching Fight Club." We both laugh.

"Fight Club... Sixteen Candles... No snitching." I wrote it down. "Anything else?" I looked at Robby. He opened his mouth and looked like he was starved for words for a moment. "I could... I could write you notes, every day."

"You'd do that?" I was almost blushing. That idea was really cute, even if it wasn't honest. "Sure," Keene smiled, "Tory always wanted me to write them. I never did, so if I start sending them to you, she'll be pissed, it'll be good." He was so invested in his idea of pissing off Tory. "How romantic." I remarked.

"Also, you have to come with me to my lacrosse games and parties." "You have to pick up my sister and I and drive us to school." "Okay." We approved of each other's terms.

Robby took the paper and pen from me. "And you're coming with me on the ski trip."

Whoa... The Adler High ski trip was infamous for being the location where more students lost do you virginity and Senior Week and Prom combined. I have never been. Obviously.

I smiled awkwardly at him, not knowing what to say. "That's like three months away. Do you think we're still gonna be doing this?" "Let's call it a contingency." Keene grinned. "Look, no one in their right mind is gonna let their boyfriend go without them, so if we are still doing this by the time it comes around, you have to go with me."

I'm certain that by the time the ski trip comes around Robby and I will be ancient history, and that is the only reason I say...

No, I didn't know.

"Yeah, of course." I chuckled nervously. "But don't, like, tell anyone, though. I'm out and I'm not ashamed. My mum knows, my dad thinks it... but we're in...." "High school." We both sigh at the same time.

After school, I ran up the stairs to my room and headed straight to my closet. I checked the place where I used to hide my box, which of course wasn't there.

"Have you seen a green, sorta teal box thing? It has fabric on top of it, it's round and there's a bow on it." I ran downstairs hysterically screaming at the whole house.

"Wow. No 'hi, Dad,' no 'why are you home early?'" Dad added up to the situation. "I really need to know where my fabric box thing is, okay? It's very important." I screamed one more time.

"I don't know, honey. Maybe it went out with the Goodwill boxes..." dad leaned both hands on the counter, not knowing how to help me. "The Goodwill boxes?" I stumbled after him, my world crashing down.

Fuck no. Well, well. NO. I really must have shoved it in there.

"Oh, also, you have mail right there." He pointed to the other end of the counter. I walked closer to it and that it was the letter for Kyler.

"This is all your fault!" I yelled and ran to my room.

The letters are out. They're out.

I walked back and forth in my room.

There's nothing you can do about it. Silver lining, Kyler's letter was addressed to the bunks st camp, so at least he'll never find out how hard you were crushing after Chubby Bunny.

"Chill. Love me, huh?" My inner Miguel appeared. "Loved, past tense. You're Sam's." I replied.

"Dear Miguel, I lie awake at night and imagine running my fingers through your hair. Feeling your strong arms around-" "Stop it." I shook my head and Miguel evaporated.

"You're just an illusion," I said to myself as I walked to the window watching the real Miguel walking on the street. "I'm more real to you than he is." He smirked before walking away.

"What are you doing?" Anthony appeared in the doorway of my room again. The doorbell rang and now Dad was yelling too: "Sydney, Miguel is here!"

"You never saw me here." I grabbed my handbag and climbed through the window outside. Then I walked across the roof and jumped onto the trampoline from a safe distance. Those karate lessons from dad weren't useless at all. "Ouch," I thumped my hand, but didn't address it and ran on to get my bike. Cycling away from home, away from Miguel, I wandered into Corner café.

I leaned my bike against the wall of the building from the outside and then went inside. I ordered a Coke and the waitress gave it to me right away. I aggressively took the straw out of the paper wrapper and stuck it in my glass. Finally. I was hoping to hide since I'd been hounded by the letters all day.

"Hey, LaRusso." A boy's voice echoed next to me. I turned around and gave him an annoyed look instead of a greeting. I turned back to my glass.

"Something for your friend?" She put her hand on my shoulder as Joan, a waitress I'd known for a long time, glared at Robby.

"I'd like a chocolate shake. Thanks." He winked at Joan and sat down one chair away from me. "Sure." The older woman smiled and went to take his order. We both turned awkwardly and then our gazes strayed to each other.

"So what are you doing here?" "what do you mean? I'm just here to take down one of those chocolate shakes." He was probably lying. "Cool." I nodded my head. "Actually, I stopped at your house, your sister said you'd probably be here," he admitted, "Look, I just want to be super clear." He turned his whole body to me.

"Okay?" I started to be kind of worried.

"I'm flattered, I am, but... Tory and I, like, just broke up so...""Are you trying to reject me?" I chuckled. "Yeah, it didn't really seem like it worked the first time." He confusingly made some gestures with his hands.

"Robert Keene, I'm not trying to date you." His expressions told me he didn't like that I used his full name, but he ignored it and talked further. "Yeah you're saying something but your mouth said something different at school." "What?" I asked even more confused.

The waitress had just brought him a shake. "Thank you... uh, Joan" he read her name tag quickly. She smiled and then walked away.

"Okay, um... So here's the thing, I don't actually like you. I just tried to make it look like I do someone else wouldn't think I liked them." I laid the cards out on the table. "Oh, okay. Who?" "What?" "Who? You gotta tell me who this mystery guy is, otherwise I'm gonna go on believing you have a secret tattoo on your back with my face." Keene grinned.

"No," I replied, turning away from him. "Should I tell the school that you wrote me a love letter?"

"Okay, okay fine." I turned right back to him. "It's Miguel Diaz."

"Wait, hold on, Diaz? Doesn't that guy date your older sister?" "Yeah... well, he dated my sister, in the past tense. And he also got a letter, so you see how awkward and complicated that one's gonna get if he thinks I like him-" "Hold on. Stop." Robby stopped me. "I'm not the only guy that got the letter?" He acted offended. I shook my head from side to side laughing at him.

"Wow, you think you're special, and then you find out she wrote love letters to two guys." He grabbed the place of his chest where his heart should be.

"Actually I wrote five, so don't go feeling too special." "There's five of those?" Robby got even more hurt and surprised. "Yeah."

"Damn, LaRusso, you're a player." He laughed.

"Who did you write letters to?" He leaned in closer to me. "If I tell you will you leave me alone?" I raised an eyebrow. "Maybe." Keene put on a poker face.

"Okay, Demetri Alexopoulos," I replied. "He's gay." Robby chuckled at my nonsense crush. "You don't know that." I insisted. "Everyone knows." Robby pointed out.

"Who else?" I glanced awkwardly at my coke. "Um... someone from camp and someone I went to model UN with in fifth grade." I finished my drink and got ready to leave.

"So are we good here?" I stood up. "Uh yeah. Well, yeah, we're good." He agreed as I slowly walked away.

"Wait, Syd." I turned back when he called my name and I was already at the door. "That sparkly bike out front, is that yours?" He motioned with his hand to the wall it was leaning on. "Yeah." I giggled.

"No, she didn't tell me this one," I assured him and took a drink. He searched for words. "But we're still cool, right? We can still talk and... you know, kick it?"

"Ugh... don't say 'kick it." I gasped as it reminded me of what my dad has as a slogan for his car company. "Yes, we're cool." I smiled at him as I took one of his chips. Then, we shared his headphones as he showed me an album of some new band he found.

I know what you're thinking, but we really were cool. However I felt about Josh, I would never do that to Sam.

After school, I met up with Anthony outside the car. He couldn't stop talking about his friends and the experience of his first day in middle school. We buckled up and then he pulled out that helmet of his that he put on.

"Really?" "Of course," he buckled the helmet on and grabbed the belt.

I shoved the keys in and started backing up. But I shouldn't have. I had barely hit the brakes when I saw an angry Robby in the rearview mirror.

"Good thing I was wearing my helmet." Anthony laughed.

I closed my eyes and shook my head from side to side. Then leaned back against the steering wheel. Someone knocked on my car. "Hi." It was a smiling Robby. I rolled down the window but didn't look at him. "Hi."

"How you doing?" "Good." I was embarrassed. "Yeah?" "Yeah."

"You know, people usually check behind them before they reverse to avoid killing others, it's a thing we do." He motioned me back with his hand and winked.

"Yeah, I'm just not completely comfortable with using my mirror yet, so..." "Yeah, clearly." He grinned. "Do you think you're gonna be able to make it out of the parking lot?" He looked around.

"Yeah absolutely. We're fine, seriously. Um, so you should just...go now." I gestured with my head in the direction he should take. Away from the car.

"Sure, whatever you say, LaRusso. Hey, you're in charge." Robby leaned into my car to command my brother. After he walked away I put the window back up.

"Who was that?" My little brother laughed. "Robby Keene." I rolled my eyes.

"So? What are we waiting for?" My brother encouraged me after I just sat in my seat looking into my phone. "The rest of the cars to leave." I untied myself.

~~

"Sydney, if you had a boyfriend, maybe you wouldn't have to drive at all because he would take us places." Anthony got an idea when we were watching one of the MCU movies. "If that's what it takes, I think you're stuck with me." I grinned at him.

"How about that guy you almost killed the other day?" He said carelessly. He didn't care who it was, as long as I wasn't behind the wheel. "Well, he's dating Tory."

"So? It's not just that. Don't you find it kinda depressing that it's Saturday night, and you're watching Marvel with your little brother?"

"No, I love Marvel and I love hanging out with you." I teased him and he laughed. "Okay, I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad, Syd, I'm 11 and I canceled my plans o be here tonight. And well, you're 16, and I don't think you had anything else going on, am I right?" He looked at me.

"That's harsh Anthony." I chuckled. "The truth hurts, Sydney." He lay back down next to me and we continued watching the movie. I fell asleep on the couch even after that.

The next day, I had a gym class second. "What did you do yesterday?" We had a run around the circle and in the meantime, I talked to Aisha. "I finished my book. It was awesome." "Another bodice ripper, you little perv?" Aisha teased me. "I enjoy them for their camp." I defended myself. "Yeah, right!" Aisha laughed. "Don't worry girl, no judgment." She assured me.

A deep voice echoed us. "Hey! Can I talk to you?" I turned around and Robby ran after us. "Me?" I pointed a finger at myself. "Yeah."

"Hey, Keene, I heard my cousin dumped you for a college student, is that true?" Aisha mocked then chuckled. Robby laughed nervously, kind of shocked not believing the word had already gotten out.

"I heard you have a tail. Is that true, Aisha?" "Yep, a cute one. Little like a pig." My best friend winked at Robby.

"I need to talk to... I need to talk to Sydney. Alone." He pointed out. We stopped but I didn't know what he wanted.

"If you need me, I'll be in the nurse's office, with a migraine. Googling Justin Trudeau shirtless." She pointed her fingers from her eyes to my eyes, then turned around and ran away.

"Hey, I just wanted to say, I appreciate it, but it's never gonna happen." "I'm sorry, what?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"From what I remember, that kiss was hot, you know, for being in seventh grade, and I think it's really cool you think I have golden specks in my eyes." What he was saying sounded all too familiar. I looked over at him, and in his hand was a letter from me. "It's just, Tory and I are in a really weird place right now. I don't know what you hoped to accomplish."

I didn't want to believe this was happening. I suddenly felt sick and passed out.

"Sydney, hey." I heard Keene call out to me. But it was all playing over in my head. Moments where I was falling in love and even when I was writing letters.

"Wake up, LaRusso." A few inches above my face, Robby waved his hand. "What happened?" I opened my eyes. "You fainted," the long-haired boy clarified. His hair was right under ears' length, but it didn't want to stay tucked, so they just kept falling around.

"Oh, okay." "Here, give me your hand. And the other one, too." He grabbed my hands and pulled me to sit down. A little disoriented, but I made it. "Want me to get you some water?" "No, I'm okay." I grabbed my forehead. "You sure?" He raised an eyebrow and laughed.

I was about to answer him, but I stopped myself because Miguel was approaching us. Also with a letter in his hand. "Oh my god." I sighed, not knowing what to do in a hurry. I quickly grabbed Robby by the neck and kissed him.

"Hey, you two! Stop that!" Coach yelled at us. "Two more laps, LaRusso." I picked myself up. "Thank you," I patted Keene on the shoulder and ran away. "What?" I heard him ask in confusion. "Sydney?" Miguel yelled after me as well.

I hid in the bathroom. But not for long.

"Hey, Sydney, you in there?" A boy's voice echoed after I heard the door open. "No," I replied. Suddenly, a hand snuck a letter to Demetri Alexopoulus into the cubicle.

"You going to be okay?" "Did you have to pick the furthest college you could think of?" The smile disappeared from Sam's face. "Who am I supposed to eat lunch with?" I shrugged.

"I think you should look at this as an opportunity to branch out, make new friends." She put her hands on my shoulders. "No." I insisted. "It's your junior year. You never know what could happen." She encouraged me. It should be the other way around.

"That's what I'm afraid of." I chuckled. "If you ever need me, I'm just a Skype call away." My older sister grabbed my hand. "Yeah, until you start hanging out with your new friends and forget about us."

"We didn't know which one to pick... so we got you a few." Mom handed Sam the magazines.

"Karate master, maybe that will be interesting for you," Daddy gestured to the magazine on top and didn't know what else to say. Of course, he was proud of his daughter.

"Come closer," he took her in a hug. Gradually we all joined in and it became a family hug.

"I gotta go." From the middle of the hug, Sam echoed. After a moment, we let her go. She grabbed her suitcase and headed over to the security guy to check her ticket and passport. She didn't turn back, and we thought she wouldn't. But at the of the hall, right before turning left, she looked at us and waved.

"Can we get a dog now?" Anthony asked on the way to the car. "No, but that's a nice try." Mom canceled and messed up his hair.

At home, I cleaned out my closet and sorted through things to give something to charity. Then I grabbed it all and shoved it in the box that Sam gave me. I didn't feel like cleaning up the rest, so I just procrastinated, put on a vinyl record, and looked through the rest of what I found.

"Please, Sydney. It's only gonna take a second. Just smile." Mom handed us clipboards with the classes written on them and wanted to take a picture of us. She did it every year, but this time it was without Sam.

"Sixth grade and junior year... hard to believe." Dad came over and put his arm around Mom's shoulders. Then he tossed me the car keys.

"Okay, you ready to go?" We handed the clipboards to Mom and I turned to my brother. "One sec," Anthony ran into the house.

"Alright, drive safe. We have to go." Both of my parents gave me a forehead kiss and then went to the car. "You look nice," my mother smiled at me before getting in the car.

Meanwhile, Anthony got back and waved to his parents. Then he put his bike helmet on. "Very funny." I rolled my eyes and made my way to the car. "Very necessary." He stood behind his opinion.

The school looked all sorts at first. I met Miguel in the hallway, but we didn't talk. When he spotted me there, he smiled and gave me a nod. I turned around to wave him back, but since I kept going I bumped into someone and knocked that person against the lockers.

"Ouch, excuse you." The blonde braced between her teeth. "Oh my god, Tory. I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention." "Oh, it's you." She flipped her hair back and folded her arms across her chest.

Tory Nichols. We used to be best friends, but post-middle school, for reasons having to do with her popularity and my lack of thereof, we are now decidedly not.

"Nice shoes." She smirked. "Thank you so much for your service" Tory saluted. "They're vintage, but I got them on Etsy." "And they're amazing!" Aisha came over and held me. "Not everybody can pull them off, but Syd can rock 'em." She put her arm around my shoulders. "But for you, cuz, well let's just say it's probably a good thing you're playing it safe with those Uggs."

Aisha. Tory's cousin, even tho I don't really believe it because they're nothing alike, and my best friend. More like my only friend,. Really. I don't like Samantha's friends as much, so I keep my Aisha close.

"Know what, Aisha? Screw you, you know my feet are always cold." Blondie raved. And all of a sudden, her boyfriend showed up. "Hey babe," the boy hugged Tory from the back. She immediately put on a soft voice. "Hi." She smiled. "How you doing?" The boy asked as he leaned on Tory and wrapped both arms around her chest. "I'm good, how are you?" "Good." He kissed her cheek.

Remember Robby, the second non-recipient of one of my love letters? That's this Robby. Tory's Robby.

Seventh grade, my first real boy/girl party. Everyone knew that Robby and Tory who at the time was still my BFF only wanted to kiss each other.

"I can spin again," I suggested when the bottle stop on me and Robby at the mentioned party. "You can't cheat the bottle." Robby insisted.

"I was just complimenting Sydney on her government-issued boots. Come on, I see someone we need to say hi to. Bye!" Tory left and immediately disappeared among the other students. Robby looked after her, uncomprehendingly.

"You know, she just stopped drinking caffeine for some diet... I think she's in withdrawal, so..." he explained. "Are you sure she just doesn't have a chemical imbalance?" I assured as Aisha laughed into my shoulder. "Right..." Robby ran a hand through his hair before running off after his girl.

"The dinner's almost ready." He crossed his arms over his chest. "I just want to finish this chapter." I turned the page of the book.

"Come help me set the table." Our older sister Sam walked past Anthony. He reluctantly obeyed and followed her downstairs.

"I don't want sushi, I'm getting sick of it."

I calmly finished the chapter before walking downstairs. Right in the time, when Miguel came.

"I'm not too late, am I?" Miguel squinted his eyes at Sam. "I was trying to meditate, but I ended up falling asleep." He chuckled.

He kissed his girlfriend and then greeted my dad. "Smells fishy Mr. LaRusso." "Hey, Miguel." Dad just walked by with a tin full of fish.

Until then, I just watched them from the stairs, but now Miguel noticed me too. "Hey, Sydney." Miguel smiled and gave me a high five.

"Good evening Mrs. LaRusso." Miguel smiled at my mom, who gave him a hug in response.

We all sat down at the table and dad got to work passing out the food. "Sorry, my bad," he slapped the palm of his hand across his forehead, "the sticks." He laughed. "I'll go get them." Samantha stood and walked into the kitchen.

I sat there quietly, across from Miguel, who was smiling nervously. It wasn't his first dinner with us, more like last.

"I can't believe we're not going to see her until Thanksgiving." I sighed and leaned my arms on the table.

"It's gonna be Christmas actually, sweetheart, because Japan is too far to come back just for Thanksgiving." Mom grabbed my hand.

"Wait, are you kidding? We're not gonna see her until Christmas!" Anthony spoke up for a change.

"Let's look on the bright side," Dad seized the word, "Sam won't be taking the car every day, so you can practice your driving." He looked at me. "And you, little man, will have more time to spend with us." He turned to my brother. He was still trying to get him into karate.

"Ugh, I forgot I have to drive with Sydney now." Anthony rolled his eyes. "Feel free to take the bus." I grinned at him.

"If you are in a bind, I can give you a ride. I'm not disappearing, I'll still be next door." Miguel launched himself into the family chaos.

"Or I can drive and if we get pulled over, we'll switch places real quick." Anthony joked. "Top-notch idea, honey." Dad pointed at his son with joy, but when he saw Mom's look, the smile faded out from his face.

"What did I miss?" Sam came in from the kitchen with the chopsticks. She took the seat next to Miguel and passed them around. "We were talking about what a bad driver Sydney is." I bared my teeth at Anthony

"Yeah, but we were also talking about airplanes which speaking of... I have a surprise for you." Miguel turned around, fumbling for something in the sweatshirt he had hanging on his chair. Mom, Dad, and Anthony all had pinned eyes at him, suspecting something. A second later, Miguel handed Sam a paper folded into a little rectangle. His sister took it uncomprehendingly and opened it.

"You won't come home for Thanksgiving, I figured I'd bring it home to you." Miguel smiled even wider and waited for his girlfriend's reaction. "It's a plane ticket. I'm coming to Japan."

He was already laughing so happily, proud of the boy sitting to his left. "Look at Miguel, stepping up." He started clapping.

I kept my eyes fixed on my sister, who clearly didn't like the surprise. But I also didn't understand what Miguel was trying to prove with this.

"You... you already paid for this?" Samantha turned to Miguel, trying not to disturb the family atmosphere at the table. "Yeah, I had a Google alert set for flight as soon as you decided you wanted to go to school there."

It was actually quite sweet, it made me smile a little. But it wasn't for me. It was for Sam.

"Why?" Miguel asked confused. Sam cleared her throat and decided not to answer, rather she got some sushi into her mouth.

"Mhmm, delicious." Anthony tried to save the situation.

I guess I should tell you a little bit about Miguel. He and Samantha have been together for the past two years, but before Sam even cared that he existed, he was my first boyfriend. Well, more of a boy who was a friend.

I could talk to him about anything. We really understood one another.

We didn't stop being friends when Miguel and Sam got together, but it was different.

They didn't want me to feel left out, so they invited me everywhere even on dates. They tried to make it as normal as possible, but I still felt like a third wheel.

It's not that I wanted to steal my sister's boyfriend or anything. I was super happy for Samantha. She deserved a great guy like Miguel.

And so I wrote him a letter. I wasn't gonna send the letter, it was just for me to understand how ai was feeling. But really, I guess it was mainly about how sometimes I imagined what it would've been like if I'd realized how I felt about him sooner.

After, I saw Miguel and Sam arguing out the window. She went to see him off, but I read from the expressions that it turned into a little fight.

I went to the closet to get my secret box where I keep my letters. My letters are my most secret possessions. There are five in total:

Kyler from camp; Robby from seventh grade; Demetri from Homecoming; Eli from Model UN and Miguel.

I sat down on the carpet behind the bed and opened one of the letters.

I write a letter when I have a crush so intense I don't even know what else to do. Rereading my letters reminds me of how powerful my emotions can be, how all-consuming. Samantha would say I'm being dramatic, but I think drama can be fun...

"What are you doing?" Sam came into my room with a large box. "Nothing," I quickly stuffed the letters back into the box and shoved the box under the bed.

"Your room's a mess," Sam said annoyed, laying down on my bed. "You okay?" I sat down next to her, but her back was turned to me. "Yeah... well, I don't know, I just broke up with Miguel."

"You did what?" I blurted out in surprise. "Why?"

"I don't want to go into college taken." "But you love him." "I know." She answered me without any emotion. "So, do you think you might change your mind?" I patted her shoulder. "No. No, it's over." She sat up next to me and rested her head on my shoulder.

"When I was packing for college, I decided to box a few things for Goodwill. So did parents... and I think you should do it too, I made you a box." She took my hand and squeezed it with both of hers.

"I don't really think there's anything I can part with at the moment." I looked around the room.

"Syd, I'm leaving tomorrow. That means you're going to be the oldest sister. You need to set a good example for Anthony. No chips before dinner and a clean room." She giggled at her last sentence.

"Can we go back to talking about how you're sad?" I chuckled.