Tis I, the Kellb-inator! [3000]

(Because oh my god, it’s so hard, and everyone’s all like stop feeling so bad about yourself and it’s like how???) 

Be naked. A lot. Sleep naked. Have sex naked. Eat cereal naked. (Or naked and wrapped in a sheet. Favorite thing.) 

Follow beautiful, confident, (un-photoshopped) body-positive babes on the Internet. Unfollow anything that makes you feel insecure. Exposure is key. You’re not going to get it if you don’t seek it out, because the media sucks and wants us to feel like shit about ourselves so they can take our money. (Some hashtags to follow: #effyourbeautystandards #bootyrevolution #blackisbeautiful #transisbeautiful #wheelchairlife #fatkini #fatshion)

Lingerie. Next best thing to being naked. 

Self care, babe. Different for everyone. (Me? Showers, books, shaving my legs, nature walks, dark lipstick, good playlists, clean rooms, candles, sexy time.) 

Get ready in your underwear. Boobs = happiness. 

Self portraits. Be pro-selfie. Take a million selfies. Take sexy selfies. Take no makeup selfies. Take bad angle silly selfies. Take artsy tripod selfies. Take everything-is-on-point selfies. You’re gorgeous; document your gorgeousness. You don’t even need to post them. 

Stop with the self deprecationnnnn. Pleeeeaseeee. It’s hard to control your thoughts love, I know, but you can control what you say. NEVER insult yourself out loud. Dare I say compliment yourself out loud? (And if you can, do your best to try to body-positive-ify your thoughts too.) 

Sex (including solo sexy time), wine, and chocolate. In that order. 

Share the body love. Compliment your girlfriends. Cultivate a nonjudgemental, supportive, lift-each-other-up “we’re so cute” friend group. Everyone’s insecure. Compliment your besties. And strangers, too. Be that person that makes everyone feel good about themselves when they’re around. 

“You’re too pretty to be single” Why is one person’s idea of ideal aestheticism A basis for a relationship status And furthermore What is so goddamn shameful or pathetic about being single anyway Is confidence and comfort in being by one’s self intimidating to you

“Swearing is unladylike” Bullshit Swears are only words And these words do not negate my intelligence, or passion, or define anything about me as a person or my character Men are never told not to swear Swear as much as you fucking want

“Your standards are too high! Just give him a chance” No You are invalidating a woman’s right to say no She doesn’t need to explain herself to anyone She doesn’t owe anyone anything Ever Everyone should have standards for themselves, and not feel like they need to lower them to please anyone Or be shamed for leading someone on when they know it would never work Because that happens too

“If you dress like that, boys will get the wrong idea” What idea might that be? That women might actually feel beautiful and confident in their own bodies? Heaven forbid Because obviously women’s bodies belong to everyone else except themselves

“Don’t frown - someone might be falling in love with your smile!” Why Is it my responsibility to always smile no matter how I feel I am a human being who is allowed to experience pain, or confusion, or sorrow, or boredom Men are never criticized for having “resting bitch face”

“Short hair makes you look like a boy!” This is assuming That there is one certain way for “boys” and “girls” to look Not so Some boys have long hair, some girls have short hair, some people who are both or neither also have hair Hair has no gender Humans are allowed to look different from each other and express themselves how they like Gender identity and gender expression are not the same

They aren’t “real” girls because they were born with a penis Anyone is a girl who says they are a girl Stop trying to undermine someone’s identity They know themselves better than you do Anatomy and identity are different, and sometimes separate Why are you so obsessed with other people’s genitals anyway

“You’re going to break a lot of hearts one day” Why would you ever Ever Say this to a girl A young, impressionable girl Breaking hearts is not a compliment, or a goal Coming from someone who has broken at least one From simply being honest and being myself It is a burden - a guilt that has been (mis)placed on my shoulders since childhood I never wanted to be labelled a heartbreaker simply for existing

“You don’t want kids? You’ll change your mind one day” No I won’t Even if I do, one day, that doesn’t make my opinion right now any less valid or deserving of respect Stop disbelieving people about their own life choices Also, having children is not a necessary milestone for a successful or fulfilling life

“Don’t have sex before marriage - boys really want a virginal girl” Sure they do And are boys ever held to that same expectation To stay virgins until marriage? Because as women are shamed for “impurity,” boys are applauded for “experience” I love the smell of double standards in the morning

“You shouldn’t wear so much makeup” The natural look is great The makeup look is great The anything you feel like doing or not doing to your own face look is great Let people do whatever they want to their own bodies Whatever makes them feel good Why do you care

“Selfies are just for attention” Maybe Maybe not What’s so wrong about liking attention What’s so wrong about feeling beautiful and confident in your own skin And wanting to share that feeling with others We were taught for so long to hate our bodies What is so threatening about finally loving them

“Cat-calling is flattering! Learn how to accept a compliment!” “I like your hair” is a compliment “You’re a really talented writer” is a compliment The gross, vulgar things that men shout at women they don’t know on the street Are not compliments They are harassment - meant to imply ownership and dominance and even violence Compliments should not make people fear for their lives walking home Compliments should not actually get people killed

No,1   NO,2  

NO,3   NO,4