My sweet Shane-
It's been a whole year since that day you made me yours. I guess in the grand scheme of things, a year isn't really a lot. Especially to you, my eternal love, who have lived for so long and seen so much. That wasn't even an age joke, believe it or not. I admire all you've done in those years, even in your darker times when I did not love you and you did not let yourself show that soft part of your heart. Perhaps you didn't spend all those years doing things I'd approve of, but how can I frown upon a single moment when it all led you to me? Or me to you. Or us to each other. However this fate stuff works.
Because I've no doubt that we were meant to find one another, a ghra. I've no doubt that I was taken from the streets of New York and brought to your family's home purely to find you. It's only been a year, and yet I feel as if I've loved you for the whole of my life. It's only been a year, and yet I know I'll love you for a thousand more, and beyond. Forever is a substantial amount of time. And maybe in seventy or eighty years, we won't feel the need to look at this day every single year as something out of the ordinary.Â
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I feel so sappy. I'm actually sniffling like an idiot right now, so I apologize if I smudge the ink or something with my girly human tears.
I don't even know what our official anniversary would be. The day we met? The day you claimed me? The day we promised ourselves to each other? The day I became your ghoul? Perhaps even the day you proposed to me, making the ring on my finger stand for something far beyond its original purpose. I suppose this day stands out to me for so many reasons. The first being that it's a date I actually remember (as the other days blended together, but this happens to coincide with a certain Christmas party and is therefore easy to remember), with the second being that it is the day I actually became yours in a way that changed what we were and how we saw each other.
I was foolish then, and still so afraid of losing you and what we were so tenuously beginning to build. After all, you were still so cold then, still trying so hard to remain the distant bitch of a vampire you were when first you bit me. I feared you and loved you, even then, when I still truly believed I might lose your interest to another or that you might hate me for being so careless. It was admittedly moronic of me to stab myself that way, even if not purposely, but I can't say I regret that either. I regret only how often we evaded, feared, pushed away all the things between us. It was only wasted time. Not that it matters, either, because in the end, we were given forever.
So much has happened for such a short amount of time. Things we couldn't control, things we could. It's only a year, hardly a blink for you, and yet we've started something that is forever. Maybe this feels stupidly, ridiculously human and you're rolling your eyes through every word - you bitch - but I've still the heart and soul of a human and to me, this day represents so much of what we are.
It was an accident, my claiming. Perhaps you'd been looking into it, but the actual event was an accident. Kind of like our relationship, I suppose. You didn't want to love me. I know you didn't, because you're such a stubborn arse and of course you wouldn't want to lose your big, bad vampire reputation by falling for a sharp-tongued little shrew such as myself. And I definitely wanted to hate you and your cocky smirk and your snarky tongue. I blame you completely, you know, as it was that tongue that got us into trouble. How would anyone be expected to resist when they've had your mouth on them?Â
Fuck, now I've an ache for you and you're off getting some food. I shouldn't have gone there, but Jesus, Shane, that tongue of yours. Your lips. Those clever hands. Even if I hadn't loved you, I'd never have wanted to leave your bed.
But then I found your heart and I couldn't resist that either. Once I'd squirmed around your barriers, it lay so open for me, and there was such beauty in it that I just... I don't even know how to describe my love for you. I don't know how to say how much I have in me for you or how beautiful it all is or how happy I am you grew to love me in return. For that's the crux of it, isn't it? That we love each other so deeply, so powerfully. It doesn't matter how short the time has been or how many more years we have or how many we had before this one. This is the first year of our forever. I guess I'm pretty lucky. Not that I'll be telling you such out loud. No need to add more hot air to that head of yours.
I love every inch of you, every moment of you, every part of you, my darling Isabela. And I will, forever. Whatever comes next, whatever happens, I will always be yours and you will always be mine.Â
Merry Christmas.Â
Yours eternally,
Keagan
