sappy

i miss the sound of your voice and the dramatic feeling of your skin on mine

bring your bright eyes, in the sun they shine like smooth mint gum

bring your soft hair, which contains tints of red only few manage to find

bring your faded scars, the ones that hide the battles you experience day by day

bring your silky skin, the gentle barrier between mind and body

bring your warm hands, that choose to hold mine rather than reach for another

bring your searching fingertips, the ones that glide around searching for a comfort within

bring your brilliant mind, the one that wins seemingly impossible battles

bring your rosy lips, sweeter than honey and refuse to hide their own emotion

bring your sweet sighs, ones full of calmness and satisfaction

bring your angelic giggle, not a full laugh but representing joy nonetheless

as fast as i could

to give you the chance you deserved

while i choose to sit back and contain my emotions, reserved

i did what was best for you in the moment,

despite feeling as though you’re just using me as your source of entertainment

now you’re angry at my lack of commitment

but i resent these things that you’ve done

i want to hang out w you and all your friends and just watch you laugh

i want to come over at 2 in the morning to hold you because you’re too scared to sleep

i want to wipe your tears when you’ve had a bad day

i want to learn your orders from all your favorite restaurants

i want to lay in bed with you and argue over who has to go make breakfast because it’s too cold and neither of us want to get up

i want to kiss you in the rain and then laugh about how cheesy we are

i want to stay up laughing about stupid videos we find on facebook

i want to watch scary movies and fall asleep with the lights on because we’re too scared to turn them off

i want to fall asleep on facetime and listen to your cute little snores

i want to spend days taking pictures of you goofing off around the city

i want to go to parks and push you on the swings

i want to melt into your arms the same way i do into your milky chocolate eyes

i want to run my fingers through your hair as the sun rises

i want to protect you from all of the hate and hurt in the world

i want to go to walmart at 12 am and run around playing hide and seek

i want to go to the beach and run my fingers across your smooth sandy skin

i want to make playlists and go on road trips to places we’ve never been before

i want to kiss you in the back of the movie theater

but you don’t want any of that

and i’ll never know why but

you’re the type of girl that hides her feelings,

locks them away behind the fake smiles and the constant friendships that never seem to last more than a couple of months.

you’re the type of girl who appreciates it but doesn’t mention it,

you love the things that people do for you but you’re lacking in understanding that people will do things for you because they love you, not because they want something from you.

you’re the type of girl who smiles brighter than the sun,

from your subtle smirks to your full blown giggles, your smile and your laugh work hand in hand to produce an image more beautiful than a sunrise on the beach.

you’re the type of girl who doesn’t know how to care for others,

you love your friends but unless you’re standing right in front of them, saying “i love you” means little to nothing in your vocabulary.

you’re the type of girl who parties to forget,

you try to forget about the guy you slept with last week after months of talking, just for him to leave bruises both on your heart and on your body, all while making up lies meant to break your spirit.

you’re the type of girl who wishes things would just work out for once,

because between the constant pressure to do things society’s way and the frustration behind wanting to be perfect, you’re a beautiful mess with no one you think you can run to.

you’re the type of girl who kisses like an angel,

but doesn’t understand why people give up on you so easily; what you don’t understand is that it’s not you, it’s them, and your worth is above any and all who choose to undermine your potential.

you’re the type of girl that i wish i could be with but can’t,

because you’re not into people like me, the constant babbling about things so abhorrently lame drives you nuts even though the way i hold you makes your heart flutter

you’re the type of girl that i want but can’t have,

i’m protecting my heart now

it’s not yours to break anymore

i have a long, difficult journey ahead of me

a long complex adventure towards success

that you’d ruin my life, you’re wasting away

you started out strong and painfully slim

you only want me when you’re drunk

when you let your guard down

and the poison ruins your mind for just a moment

but every time i let it happen

every time i accept it

but every time i end up crawling back

it looks like we’re close

close enough to be one

but every time we walk away

i underestimated the power of your eyes

the blissful brown reminding,

protecting each of our little white lies

expecting too much is usually the problem

but satin smooth skin meets mine

lining up in a nearly perfect column

warmth flushes my face as i smirk

you pull away and turn to the screen

You want me to be unacceptable

you want me to not be enough

you want an excuse to let me walk away

i’m tired of the changing minds

the ones that break you apart without

even knowing the damage of kinds

that’ll cause your heart to give out

i’m tired of being alone

you know the kind where you’re sitting

in a room with your clone

who’s telling you everything you’ve done wrong

i’m tired of being judged

for trying so hard yet making it no where

the words make the brain feel sludged

the stress make you pull out your hair

i’m tired of those surrounding

where no one will take charge

and bother to act like they’re caring

so you go jump off a barge

i’m tired of living

in a world so filled with bitter ends

and those who stick around are faking

i’m so tired of breathing

of being the antisocial one walking

down the halls where the popular kids roam

ones with beer stains on their shirts unremovable by foam

you can sit here and ask me why i’m so negative

you can judge me based on your collective

the one that stereotypes the quiet ones like me

they always say not to hate

that it’s too definite and hurtful

they always say not to love

that it’s too definite and hurtful

they always say not to learn

that it’s too definite and hurtful

they knew all along

bottle it up

because the things you’ll never say,

the things you’ll keep inside like coffee in a cup,