Caffeinated Shit-Posting

Me: Ever since this pandemic has started, I’ve just been so lonely.

Coffee: WTF, bitch? I’ve been here the entire time.

Me: Omg, you’re so right. My bad.

*5 minutes later*

Barista: Would you like cream or sugar with your coffee?

Me: Naw, but I’ll take a big ass bagel sandwich.

In reality, things are actually going pretty well in your life but disquiet and uncertainty fill your mind. You cannot tell though whether these thoughts are due to the lingering ghosts from your past, regularly reminding you of a time full of pain and betrayal, or if you are sensing a shift in the world, a shift which will lead you down a path that you have desperately tried to avoid but will be helplessly forced to travel.

You’re scared. You have every right to be. But you also have an incredible and terrifying strength behind those tired eyes of yours. The others can sense it. That is why they are so careful around you. They fear what will happen when the full extent of that power is released.

Stared into my coffee this morning

Looking for answers

I found none

But for those few minutes of silent contemplation

I fell into something peaceful

A beautiful, black void

And this is why my obsession continues

Because I have yet to find something else out there

That can make me feel so comfortable

Hasn’t 2020 given us enough trauma already?

You are beginning to learn that exhaustion comes in different forms. While some you can escape, others are beyond you control, and certain people know how to wield those forms as a weapon.

There may be little that you can do about it for now, but if there is one thing that you have a talent for, it’s survival. So just take it one day at a time, focus on what you can control, and take comfort in the knowledge that you are doing the best you can.