Kazumi123

So, in The Beginning I found a bunch of amazing fan art of Kakashi and Obito that caught my attention. I kept seeing "obikaka" in the image descriptions so I searched for that, hoping for some context (I didn't know who Obito was at this time.) One of the first things I found was a post that explained that "obikaka" fans are toxic. It went on to describe all the things they hated about this ship dynamic and the toxicity of its enjoyers. The point was that you could spot a "toxic" person by which tag they used.

So there I was, still an outsider to this fandom, learning several things at once:

1: The Naruto fandom seems overly serious, judgmental and scary and I don't want to be involved in any of that. 2: If I get involved and get the letters in the wrong order or reblog the wrong thing from the wrong person I might get branded as "toxic" or worse. 3: Ship names with name positions that indicate sexual preference might fill a function in some cases but otherwise they're really stupid, in my opinion. I'll explain later.

I decided to venture into the fandom anyway, hoping opinions like that weren't representative of the entire community. Honestly though, I was fucking scared. I was seriously stressed and anxious about saying or tagging the wrong thing and risk getting cast out of the tumblr Naruto village. Luckily I very rarely see people write things like that. If I catch a whiff of it I block them. Not just regarding Obito and Kakashi, just fandom stuff in general, even the things I don't personally like. People enjoy different things and I have very little patience or respect for people who sit on high horses and shit on what other people like. Do it in private if you need to get it out of your system.

That being said, let me shit on these ship names.

I get that there's a long history behind these things. Naming conventions for ships can make it easier to find the sort of content you're looking for, and avoid the stuff you don't like seeing. That's fine. But. Top/bottom is a really narrow and reductive way of looking at a relationship dynamic and unless the characters are in fact having penetrative sex in the work you're tagging it really isn't relevant, right? Or am I missing something? Is it just a vibe thing? Who's more dominant or submissive? Because top/bottom and dom/sub are not the same thing. More importantly: what tag do I use when the characters aren't sexual at all? Like, I make a lot of art with Obito and Kakashi where they're not interacting romantically or sexually but they're still a pair, you know? It's just them and the exact story or dynamic can be interpreted by the viewer, do I then have to use all the name variations just to make sure people know that I haven't decided who fucks who? I also make lots of art of them as kids and I'd love to tag that art so that people who enjoy these characters together can find it. Do I have to pick which child will potentially grow up to top?? Do I have to use the switch tag? You see why this system is kinda weird?

I decided from the start to just not use ship tags because they stress me out with how much people read into them. I don't want to have to include each variation on every post, just to indicate that nobody is actually topping anyone in the content I'm posting and that I'm not swearing allegiance any specific fandom team. I feel uncomfortable using ship names that are inherently sexual in their construction, while tagging artwork of kids because I just don't know how that will look in the eyes of the people who think these naming conventions are important.

I'm pretty new to fandom culture and I only found out about these name things a year ago, through that angry post that said that people who use the obikaka tag are toxic. I eventually got over my fear of being seen as toxic (I don't even know what that means tbh) and now I use "obkk" sometimes because it's short and easy. I usually pick obkk by default because that's the first ship name I encountered so it sounds right to me. In my mind, "obikaka" is like tik-tok while "kakaobi" is like tok-tik, if that makes sense. Top Obito/bottom Kakashi is my preference if they do have sex but that's like, not relevant to anyone else except me and Ao3. My personal smut preferences have nothing to do with why that ship name has become my default. If I had encountered "kakaobi" first I'd probably be using that.

Next part of the ask:

"They said they hate Obkk shippers for making Obito a rapist and an abusive freak and turning Kakashi into a weak dainty bottom. They said they won’t welcome obkk shippers anymore. And I’m just sad 😕 because I do prefer obkk (I’m fine with switching tho) but I also don’t agree on the toxic stereotypes some obkk shippers make about them."

People like and dislike different things. That's ok. I wish people would dislike things without feeling the need to loudly proclaim their hate for those who like that thing. This might be obvious but, there's a big difference in saying "I hate this ship dynamic" and "I hate the people who like this ship dynamic".

Everyone has the right to curate their own online space and if they don't want to interact with someone they don't have to. Sucks that they feel the need to justify themselves with judgmental sermons though. I get the sadness Anon, because it's not fun ending up targeted when someone decides to make their contempt known. Even if you don't agree with their opinion it can really bring you down and if you're like me it might make you scared and anxious to express yourself for fear of becoming a public target.

This is what I mean when I say it's best to keep negative opinions of other people's likes to yourself and to spread love instead. It sounds really corny but like, online spaces so often feel like high school corridors where mean girls stand around stage-whispering nasty comments about other people's outfits and that's just fucking embarrassing honestly. Grow up. Be better.

About obkk:

I don't see how stereotyping two fictional men is "toxic" in any way unless you like, use them to spread racist propaganda or something? Or if you start claiming that your view of the characters is the only correct one and you start publicly talking shit about everyone who doesn't share your opinion. That shit is toxic, kills creativity and the joy of fandom.

I totally get that some depictions of Obito and Kakashi's dynamic aren't for everyone. Some themes are very common and if the type of depiction you're into isn't as common I can definitely understand annoyance and even resentment towards the more popular ones. I've got things I'm annoyed by too and it doesn't take much for me to feel that something is out of character or falls into a trope I don't like. That's fine though, I just read something else or take it for what it is: Fan fiction, written for free by really passionate and creative people. I have plenty of favorite fics where the characterization is way off from canon or how I personally view the characters.

I think there's a big difference between different types of fics. If I'm reading porn I'm expecting porn, not an accurate character study (although sometimes those things are combined <3). I don't think I've read any obkk smut that I find truly "believable" though because I just don't think they'd fuck as they are in canon. I can't see Kakashi having sex at all without changing his character quite a bit, so I'm already making allowances in my imagination for out-of-character Kakashi. I have very specific preferences of how I like him to be but I've read so much smut over the last year and there are many Kakashis I've learned to enjoy, including the dainty ones. Many Obito variations too! So many. The variation is what makes this pairing so amazing. Hokage husband Obito, nervous virgin Obito, several different flavors of Juubito and yes, abusive freak Obito, he's in my bookmarks too. Obito is famously, on occasion, an abusive freak against Kakashi in canon so him being an abusive freak in fanfic sometimes feels kinda natural? Weird thing to be upset about imo.

Some of us look at this and part of our brains go "ah, yes, foreplay", because that's just how we're wired. Nobody has to read or look at art that portrays those kinds of scenarios. This fantasy is not mandatory. It's not toxic either. It can't hurt anyone and it's not a personal insult to anyone else's preferences or to the original characters. It's imagination. Everyone may have their own perfect dream in the eternal genjutsu <3