❦ Scarlet Leaves

✤ —– ٠ ♠ ٠ —– ✤

Flamingo pink Sunrise Boulevard Clink, clink Being this young is art

Darkness. Aventurine is nothing. Nothingness consumes him. He can’t see anything. No colors. No sounds. Only haunted by the memories of his past. He tries to open his eyes, but it’s not anything different when closed. He can’t tell where his body ends. The only thing keeping his being together is the golden shield he had crafted using the last bit of his cracked cornerstone. Well, it was golden. Now he’s not sure if it’s even there.

His mind conjures up disembodied voices. Kakavasha, you are blessed. May the Mother Goddess close her eyes thrice. 60 tambas. Now your luck is mine. Do stay alive. I wish you the best of luck.

Aventurine frowns. The last voice seems unlike the rest. He tries to chase after it. The voices become frenzied, echoing poisonously and he squeezes his eyes shut again.

Aventurine. Aventurine. Do stay alive.

He gasps, eyes flying open and is met with the most beautiful pair of eyes he’s ever seen. Ochre ringed by rouge. It’s like the dawn his sister promised they would see. He knows those eyes. They belong to one Veritas Ratio, but why would Ratio be here?

Panicking, Aventurine struggles against Nihility’s grasp.

Ratio, Ratio, you should not be here, he tries to tell him, tries to warn him, but nothing comes out of his mouth.

Aventurine, are you awake?  Ratio asks, those beautiful eyes crinkling in worry.

Ah, Aventurine concludes, this must be a dream. Why else would the Veritas Ratio look this worried about Aventurine? Smiling to himself, Aventurine indulges in the dream, basking in Ratio’s gaze until darkness consumes him once more.

The next time Aventurine comes to, light fully floods his irises. A pained grunt escapes him, but he’s never felt more relieved to be blinded by light. Squinting against the harsh glare of LEDs, he quickly scans the room he’s in. Various machines beep next to him, and he realizes that he’s connected to them via endless tubes.

“You’re awake,” a voice, heavily tinged with relief, murmurs before he can fully assess the situation.

Aventurine turns his head and jerks with surprise. Dr. Ratio is hovering near him, watching him apprehensively.

“Ra…” His throat turns Ratio’s name into a hoarse, garbled mess.

“Take it easy,” Ratio’s deep voice rumbles. He pushes Aventurine down gently, as he checks the beeping monitor above Aventurine. “I’ll get you some water.” The Doctor turns to go, but Aventurine grabs his hand in a fit of panic. Ratio pats him gently. “I’ll still be in the room,” he assures, pointing with his free hand at the pitcher of water sitting on the table next to Aventurine. It finally occurs to Aventurine that they’re in a hospital room. “It’s alright.” Gradually, Aventurine retracts his hand, watching apprehensively as Ratio maneuvers slowly to the pitcher of water while making sure to stay in Aventurine’s field of view. He pours the water into a glass and helps Aventurine sit up, one hand against his back. Ratio holds the cool glass against Aventurine’s lips. Aventurine drinks greedily.

“What…happened?” Aventurine croaks once he’s emptied the glass.

Ratio places the cup out of reach and sinks into a chair with a soft sigh. “It’s been about a month since a Knight of Beauty dragged you out of the Nihility. You’ve been in a coma ever since.”

Aventurine digests Ratio’s words. There’s a cot in the corner which he hadn’t noticed earlier. A small table that served as a makeshift desk, piled with papers and a small computer, sits next to the cot. Aventurine asks hesitantly, “Have you been here…the whole month?”

“Don’t be absurd,” Ratio replies, a little too quickly, “I had my classes to teach.”

Aventurine studies the man beside him. There were dark circles under Ratio’s eyes, exhaustion etched in every line of his face. Ratio looks like he hadn’t slept well in days. The usually put together doctor looked haggard. It’s obvious Ratio is lying. Aventurine feels a twinge of happiness at the thought of Ratio being by his bedside when he was unconscious. Deciding not to tease the man this time, Aventurine turns to other pressing matters, “When can I go back to work?” He gestures at the tubes.

Ratio shoots him a look of disdain, “You’re wishing to go back to the IPC that quickly? I wasn’t aware that Aventurine of Stratagems was that dedicated to his work.” There is cynicism in his voice.

“Well no, not really,” Aventurine huffs a laugh and winces immediately. It’s then that he notices the bandages around his chest. “What’s this?”

Ratio grimaces, “The Emanator…she-uh…” he trails off, but Aventurine understands right away. He probably received the injury when the Nihility Emanator slashed through him to separate him from the dreamscape. Ratio clears his throat, “At any rate, you are not in any shape to return to work.”

“I heal quickly,” Aventurine protests, “I don’t need to be babysat.”

There is an aggrieved sigh. “Can you please think about your own life for once?”

Taken aback, Aventurine finds himself at a loss for words. “I made it back, didn’t I? I’m alive,” he finally says.

“Do you not understand the gravity of the situation?” Ratio hisses, “You were unconscious for over a month. If that Knight of Beauty hadn’t-” The man cuts himself off sharply, his nostrils flaring as he takes in a deep breath. “Presently, you are on leave from the IPC until you are medically cleared to return, as per Miss Jade’s orders.” His voice is calmer.

“Alright,” Aventurine agrees cautiously, to not aggravate Ratio further, “It’ll be nice to finally have a vacation,” he tries to joke, but is met with Ratio’s stony expression. “Um, who is my attending physician then? I want to talk about my treatment plan.” Aventurine grins as he switches to a different topic, one that Ratio might be more familiar with. He can’t understand the anger radiating from the man, however.

He doesn’t care. Right? Surely not.

It had been easier to believe that Ratio had actually betrayed him when they were running that act in front of Sunday. A decorative tube comes to mind. A scroll. The note that was written in Ratio’s own elegant hand.

Do stay alive. I wish you the best of luck.

Aventurine’s fist clenches under his blanket.

Ratio nods, a stiff jerk of his head, “That would be me. Your attending physician, that is.”

Aventurine’s smile fades.

“What?”

Aquamarine Moonlit swimming pool What if all I need is you?

“Come on, Doctor,” Aventurine drawls. He’s here to bother his dear doctor after Ratio had all but placed him under house arrest despite his protests that he was fine. So what if walking for more than five minutes leaves him winded? Diamond currently didn’t have any missions for him anyway. It had been about two weeks since Ratio finally discharged him from the hospital. Aventurine is getting bored. “You can admit this is a waste of your time. Just write on the reports that I’m fine, and we can stop doing this.”

Ratio heaves an aggravated sigh. He sees Ratio’s jaw clenching and he’s unable to stop the suffering grin on his face.

If you don’t allow me to return to work, you have to suffer with me as well!

“Absolutely not, you want me to go against my code of conduct and falsify your reports?” Ratio glares. Even when angry, he looks maddeningly attractive, Aventurine thinks to himself, smiling serenely back. Some people just have it all.

“It’s not like Jade will care,” the blond tries to argue, “She wants me back in the office, you want me out of your hair. It’s a win-win.”

There’s an irritated sigh from Ratio, as he pinches the bridge of his nose, shutting his eyes in annoyance. “I’m not falsifying your care. Even if you pretend nothing’s changed, your charts say otherwise. Penacony did a number on you, Gambler. As a doctor-as your doctor,” Ratio amends, “I will see to your care to the best of my abilities.”

Aventurine slumps dramatically into Ratio’s armchair, “What if I, as the patient, refuse the doctor’s care? You can’t force me to go through medical supervision. I’m fine.”

The Doctor turns to regard Aventurine seriously. There is a vein popping on his forehead. Aventurine wonders if he pushed him to the limit this time. Ratio doesn’t need to hear about the nightmares that plagued him ever since escaping the dreamscape. Ratio doesn’t need to know about how his fingers tremble so hard to the point that he dropped his glass when he tried to get a sip of water. And Ratio especially does not need to learn about Aventurine’s past, the day those Katicans murdered his dear sister and every Avgin on the planet. Aventurine was fine.

“I’ll make you a deal,” Ratio says after a beat. “You accept my treatment and I’ll grant you one wish.”

“Now that doesn’t seem mighty fair, Doctor,” Aventurine laughs, “I have to sit through therapy, and I only get one wish?”

“Anything you want,” Ratio interjects, “Within my ability of course, and within some degree of reason.”

“Anything I want?” Aventurine echoes and Ratio nods. The Doctor leans back in his chair, awaiting Aventurine’s answer.

Aventurine dares to consider Ratio’s deal. There aren’t many things he wants in this world. Except one. And he’s sitting in front of him right now, looking like a perfect specimen of man. Albeit, slightly disgruntled. Dr. Veritas Ratio. The untouchable. The one person Aventurine can’t read. The one chip Aventurine doesn’t dare gamble away. But just because he doesn’t dare risk the one gamble doesn’t mean he’s never thought about Ratio in that way. Bulging muscles on display in that outfit that left little to the imagination. Aventurine wants to be ruined by him. Except he couldn’t. Ratio is the one card Aventurine keeps close to his chest because he doesn’t know how to handle it if Ratio abandons him too.

Do stay alive, I wish you the best of luck.

Why had Ratio left that message for him? It was the only thing holding him afloat in the sea of Nihility, keeping him sane.

“What if,” Aventurine wets his lips, testing the waters. He smiles, baring his canines. His left hand is hidden skillfully behind his back. It trembles slightly. Aventurine balls it into a fist. “I want you?” He purrs.

To his utter surprise, Ratio flushes a dark shade of red. Internally, Aventurine panics.

“I mean,” Aventurine scrambles to make a joke, fearing that he’s pushed the Doctor’s buttons too far. “Have you seen your-”

“That can be arranged,” Ratio cuts him off curtly, his cheeks still holding tinges of pink.

Aventurine freezes. “What?” He asks dumbly.

“That can be arranged,” Ratio repeats, “Provided you successfully go through my treatment.” The Doctor picks up his pen to turn his attention to the pile of papers on his desk, the tips of his ears still red. “Now, you should go home. I’ll swing by later to run some checks on your physical state.”

“Physical?” Aventurine wiggles his brows suggestively, “Doctor,” he grins, “I should’ve known you just wanted to get into my pants!”

“Get out!”

Cackling, Aventurine alights from Ratio’s office, narrowly missing the piece of chalk that thwacks into the door mere seconds from where his head had been.

Adorned with smoke on my clothes Lovelorn and nobody knows Love thorns all over this rose I'll pay the price, you won't

“Miss Jade,” Ratio’s voice is resigned, “To what do I owe the pleasure of being in your presence today?” There’s a hard edge in his words.

The pink-haired woman smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. She saunters over to the chair, and sits down, crossing her legs demurely. “Dr. Ratio,” Jade purrs, “You have been keeping my dear employee hostage. I’m here to ask for him back.”

Ratio grimaces, facing the window so as to not let the woman see, “Aventurine’s…not quite well enough to go back to work, I’m afraid.”

Jade leans forward, her expression icy, “I’m a very busy woman, working for a very busy company. I do not appreciate having my employee on leave for this long. Time is money, you know. When you asked me to allow you to be Aventurine’s doctor, I agreed only because Aventurine thinks highly of you. Please don’t make me regret doing so.”

“You want him back to whore him out to business executives?” Ratio bites back bitterly.

Unfazed, Jade still smiles, but her eyes shine with a menacing light. “How Aventurine conducts his business is none of my concern. I only care about the results. And right now, I know the IPC is on the verge of losing some very important investors, especially after that fiasco in Penacony. I need Aventurine to be a good boy and do his job.”

“His mental state is not in the right place for that,” Ratio says firmly.

Jade waves her hand flippantly, “Dr. Ratio,” her voice is syrupy sweet, “Do you know why Aventurine is usually assigned to carry out important deals?”

“His luck, of course,” Ratio retorts.

Jade shakes her head once, smiling poisonously. “It’s because Aventurine bets everything he has on the line,” Jade pulls out a compact mirror to check her lipstick. “He’s not afraid to die for the things he wants. He has nothing to lose,” She dabs delicately at the corner of her lips. “Why would I let someone like that go? I would never send a soldier who is afraid of laying his life on the line to war.”

Ratio’s lips thin, much like his patience. “And what would you do if Aventurine no longer holds that ideal?” he asks cautiously.

The man watches those ruby-red lips curve into a cruel smile, “Then he will be of no use to me.” Jade closes her compact with a snap. “Are you sure he’s lost the mindset of ‘all or nothing,’ or is it because you wish for him to do so?”

Ratio grits his teeth, not wanting to let the sly woman see the effect of her words. “Please answer my question.”

Jade lays a well-manicured finger against her chin, her gaze calculative, “Dr. Ratio, you have been a great asset to the IPC thus far so allow me to make you a deal. If Aventurine truly no longer gambles everything he has when conducting business deals, then I will stop assigning him to such projects. That does not mean, however, that he will stop working for the IPC. His skill set is still very much needed for the IPC. If he still has that mindset, then I kindly request for you to be removed as his personal doctor. Aventurine will then be treated by a Doctor of Chaos. And because I’m feeling generous, I will give you a deadline of two months. At the end of this, Aventurine is to return to work regardless of the outcome.” She extends her hand.

The violet-haired man looks down at the hand. Jade’s nails are filed into sharp points, glittering black jewels decorate them, reminiscent of snake eyes. Feeling slight tendrils of apprehension, Ratio slowly shakes her hand. “Alright.”

“It was great doing business with you, Dr. Ratio,” Jade simpers as she stands. “I will come collect in two months.”

Ratio finds himself unable to agree as he nods curtly. He watches Jade breeze out of his office as if she owns the place, and his hand tightens on his pen. Two months. He had two months to try to convince his gambler to not…gamble. A difficult task, though not entirely impossible. Ratio would see to its fruition.

Got lovestruck, went straight to my head Got lovesick, all over my bed Love to think you'll never forget Handprints in wet cement

“Doctor,” Aventurine opens his door. “You’re late today,” he lets Ratio in and notices Ratio carrying three round things in what appears to be gray pillows. “What’s that?”

“Here,” Ratio places one into his hands and proceeds to enter Aventurine’s apartment. He sets the other two on the ground.

Curious, Aventurine is about to follow the Doctor when the thing in his arms meows.

“What did you bring me?” Aventurine looks down and sees a cat-like animal tucked into the round pillow. “Ratio, they’re creatures?”

“Indeed,” Ratio nods, “More specifically, they are intelligent lifeforms created by the Genius Society Member, Ruan Mei. I found them inside Herta’s Space Station, running amuck in the laboratory.”

“Okay,” Aventurine says slowly, “But what are they doing in my house?”

Ratio pushes a file across the countertop, “I have created a foolproof meal plan in which these lifeforms will receive the most nutrition. You will also find information about their temperaments and characteristics. I would read this thoroughly if I were you.”

“You…want me to take care of these creatures?”

“That is correct.” There seems to be a slight smile playing around Ratio’s mouth.

Aventurine stares at Ratio, perplexed. He silently wonders if this is a joke, but in all the time he’s known Ratio, the Doctor never had any proclivity for pranks. “Why?” He finally asks.

“Studies show that caring for pets improves one’s way of living and overall health. Pets instill a sense of comfort as well as reducing stress, depression, and feelings of loneliness.” Ratio recites off like he’s prepared for this moment.

A surprised giggle leaves Aventurine’s mouth and Ratio’s face immediately hardens. There’s a slight flush on Ratio’s cheeks. “Doctor,” Aventurine grins, “You can be cute sometimes.”

Ratio scowls as he sputters, “Since you complain of having nothing to do, I went out of my way to bring these creatures to you.”

“And whose fault is that?” Aventurine retorts, bending down to pet the critters. “You’ve basically banned me from going anywhere.”

Ratio crosses his arms, “That is because you still haven’t been cleared to return. Now let me check your condition.”

They make their way to the couch, the catcakes as Aventurine decides to call them, follow them, meowing excitedly. Ratio holds a portable scanner and waves it over Aventurine’s body.

“Hm,” Ratio makes a noise of disapproval as he checks the electronic display. “Your cortisol levels are quite high. Have you not been sleeping well?”

“Ah,” Aventurine squirms, debating whether to tell Ratio about the nightmares that plague his sleepless nights. “It’s just a few nights here and there,” he lies smoothly, deciding that Ratio knowing about the nightmares would only prolong his house arrest.

“Is it because you’ve grown accustomed to having someone else in the room when you sleep?” Ratio regards him seriously.

“Maybe,” Aventurine shrugs, “I’ll be fine.”

Ratio stares at him for a beat and then opens up a book. “Do what you have to do, Gambler.”

“You’re-you’re not leaving yet?”

Ratio nods, “I have to make sure these critters are well acclimated to your home. I’ll stay a little longer tonight. It would do well to give them some names, as names would make it feel more personal.”

Aventurine settles onto the couch next to Ratio, gathering the three catcakes into his lap. “Names, huh?” He mumbles, mostly to himself.

Ratio observes Aventurine over the top of his book, a faint smile gracing his features. He quickly ducks behind his book as he pretends to be engrossed in its contents.

“Let’s see…” Aventurine picks one catcake and looks it over. “I will call you ‘Spade,’ and you,” he looks meaningfully at the one Ratio had placed in his arms when he first came in. “You will be ‘Chip.’” Aventurine declares proudly. “And you,” he turns his attention to the last one. “How about ‘Dice?’”

Ratio hides the smile that spreads from cheek to cheek, burying his nose into the book.

“Of course, the gambler names his pets ‘Spade,’ ‘Dice,’ and ‘Chip,’” Ratio snorts dryly.

“Hey,” Aventurine retorts, indignant, “These are some of my favorite things!”

Shaking his head, Ratio flips a page and pretends to focus on his book once more.

They settle into a comfortable silence, punctuated by the consistent page turn from Ratio or the occasional meow from the catcakes. Aventurine strokes the critters. It’s nice. Aventurine feels his body gradually relaxing, feeling content in Ratio’s presence and the soft fur of the creatures.

Not long after, Ratio feels a pressure fall against his shoulder and he looks up. Aventurine had fallen asleep, his head pressed against Ratio’s shoulder. Smiling, Ratio closes his book with a soft snap, taking care not to jostle the man sleeping on him. He gazes down at Aventurine, whose chest rises and falls gently with each breath he takes. Gently, Ratio brushes the fair hair from Aventurine’s forehead. He’s close enough to count every flutter of Aventurine’s eyelashes.

“Sleep well, Gambler,” the Doctor murmurs fondly. He would never let Aventurine see this side of him when he is awake. And just for tonight, Ratio decides to indulge himself. He presses his lips to Aventurine’s forehead fleetingly.

At least for tonight, I hope you won’t be accosted by nightmares. May you always have peaceful dreams from now on, Aventurine.

Over the next weeks, Ratio shows at Aventurine’s doors quite regularly, claiming to check how the catcakes were adjusting under Aventurine’s care. The gambler had taken to referring to himself as “Papa” in front of the critters, a sight that always made the corners of Ratio's mouth turn upwards. Ratio would always stay later than intended, under the pretense of reading comfortably on Aventurine’s couch. Aventurine would always end up falling asleep next to the doctor, but magically wake up in his own bed. Soon, Aventurine develops a healthy flush to his skin, much to Ratio’s approval.

They don’t speak about it. They didn’t need to. Aventurine is adjusting nicely to Ratio’s treatment. All is going well.

Send the code, he's waiting there The sticks and stones they throw froze mid-air Everyone wants him That was my crime

“When were you going to tell Dr. Ratio you wanted to get into his pants?” Topaz demands the moment she burst into Aventurine’s office.

Slightly taken aback, Aventurine does not look up from his computer in which a series of data runs across the screen. It’s the first time Ratio has allowed him to return to work, albeit for only half a day. Aventurine takes what he can get. It was good to get some work finished rather than lounging at home. “Hello Topaz, how are you doing today? Can I help you with anything?” He retorts, looking pointedly in her direction. “See? Normal conversation between coworkers. Now you try.”

“Hello Aventurine, how are you doing today?” Topaz repeats emotionlessly. “Are you going to tell Dr. Ratio you want to fuck him?”

“My my,” Aventurine sniffs, “So vulgar now, are we? Pray tell, where did you hear this bit of interesting news?”

Topaz crosses her arms. “Are you oblivious? Everyone can see how much you want him. Even the grunts are calling him a-” She cuts herself off, pursing her lips.

Aventurine raises an eyebrow, “A…?” He supplies.

“A-a… slut,” Topaz mumbles, “People are saying…well…the Doctor is ruining his reputation by…being acquainted with you.”

“I’m sure Dr. Ratio can handle himself. He’s never been interested in groundless rumors anyway. And even if I’m, as you say, this transparent of my feelings towards the Doctor, I’m sure he doesn’t view me in the same way.” Aventurine feels a pang in his chest at his words.

Topaz studies him. “You didn’t know?” She asks hesitantly.

“Know what?”

Topaz wears a contemplative expression, “When that Knight of Beauty saved you and brought you back to the IPC, Dr. Ratio-he…” Aventurine gives her his full attention then, regarding her seriously. “He was…distraught. We…well-we all thought you…died…”

Aventurine digests her words. Ratio…he cares? In the back of his mind, Aventurine is aware of the fact that the Doctor cares. Perhaps too much for his own good at times. That’s the thing about Ratio. Hidden under blunt, scathing words and stony expressions lies a warm heart that strives to see the good in humanity. Maybe that was why he failed to earn Nous’ gaze.

But he should not care about Aventurine.

“He begged Miss Jade to allow him to be your personal doctor.” Topaz continues quietly, “Dr. Ratio was there by your bedside every day when you were unconscious.” This, Aventurine already knew, from the state the Doctor had appeared in when Aventurine had opened his eyes.

“Even if what you say is true, why are you so interested in Dr. Ratio and I’s relationship?” Aventurine finally asks. “Toto?” he taunts. Topaz blanches at the nickname. “Surely Diamond and the others have better things to worry about than little old me? The acquisition of Penacony’s stocks, perhaps?”

There is a pause. Topaz averts her gaze.

“The divide between Dr. Ratio and Aventurine is affecting our work ethics. It seems that Dr. Ratio is refusing to let our little gambler fully return to work. It’s in the IPC’s best interests to get those two together. Do you understand, Little Jelena?” Jade smiles, steepling her fingers.

“Yes, Miss Jade.”

“Good girl. I look forward to your efforts.”

“You should stop taking such big risks,” Topaz retorts, “You overplayed your hand in Penacony. Miss Jade was barely able to close out the deal. She thinks your infatuation with Dr. Ratio is affecting your ability to work properly.”

Aventurine smirks, “Are we friends, Toto?”

“No,” Topaz shoots back immediately. “Stop calling me ‘Toto,’ you know I hate it.”

“Then why does it matter to you?”

“Because…there are people in the world who do care for you, Aventurine. Even if we’re not friends…I’d still be pretty upset if you died.” Topaz stands up to leave. “And Aventurine,” she says, stopping before his door, “I think that eventually…we can be friends.” With that, she pulls open the door and walks out, leaving Aventurine sitting there in stunned silence.

The wrong place at the right time And I break down, then he's pulling me in In a world of boys, he's a gentleman

“This is incredibly idiotic, Gambler,” Ratio hisses, “Not only did you go against my medical advice, but you’re also keeping this from the IPC!”

“Keep your voice down, Ratio,” Aventurine waves a hand airily, “We don’t want these nice folks to know delegates from the IPC are here, do we?”

Ratio’s teeth grit, but he shuts up, scowling furiously into his untouched drink. They were sitting in an opulent VIP room, waiting for Aventurine’s clients to show up. Or rather, they were waiting to close down on a big human trafficking ring that Aventurine had discovered when partnering with Topaz for the acquisition of Penacony. The organization would drug the victims and kidnap them once they lost consciousness. The victims ranged from children to young females. The leader of the ring was known to frequent this club, but there were sources detailing travel plans to New Londinium, which was several warp jumps away from Pier Point. Fearing the window of opportunity was too small to notify the IPC, Aventurine had decided to get the jump on the boss tonight. All they had to do was bring the man in, dead or alive.

“We have no backup, nothing,” Ratio snarls from the corner of his mouth.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Doctor,” Aventurine looks at him, colorful eyes still vibrant behind the pink-tinted glasses, “Let me handle it. Trust me.” He tosses back his whiskey in one gulp.

Ratio would rather not be able to bathe for a month than have to rely on Aventurine’s luck. He doesn’t doubt that the gambler is absurdly lucky, but he hated not knowing the outcome. He hated uncertainty. He hated not being able to use truth and logic. And most of all, he hated that Aventurine was putting his life in danger again.

A cocktail appears in front of Aventurine, its contents blood-red. “For you, sir,” the bartender nods at Aventurine, “From the gentleman over there,” he gestures at the biggest Intellitron Ratio’s ever seen. The Intellitron man oozes with luxury, a smoking jacket barely covering his enormous stomach. Two women, scantily clad, lounge across the Intellitron’s lap. Security guards in black suits stand around him. It’s undeniably their target.

“Aventurine-” Ratio mutters as Aventurine makes to grab the cocktail. No doubt, this cocktail contains the very drug that lured young women to their demise. Aventurine would have about thirty minutes after ingesting the drug before its effects start.

Aventurine swirls the glass, “I’ll make a bet with you, Doctor,” his voice is even, confident. “I bet you, we’ll be okay.” Before Ratio can stop him, Aventurine downs the glass. “Thirty minutes, Doc. Let’s give a show.” Then the blond stands and raises a hand in greeting. He saunters over to the Intellitron. Ratio follows him, apprehension gnawing deep in his stomach. “Good evening, good sir! Ladies,” Aventurine tips his hat.

“Mr. Aventurine,” the Intellitron rumbles, his tone is oily. “What a magnificent sight you are!” He licks his lips. It makes Ratio’s skin crawl, but Aventurine wears an easy smile.

“Thank you, my good sir, but before I can offer my services,” Aventurine winks, “We’re here to discuss business, yes? Business first, and then the pleasure will follow!” He purrs seductively.

The Intellitron grins hungrily. “And who is your companion? Is he part of your services?” He looks Ratio up and down, sizing him up. Ratio is barely able to keep the disdain off his face.

“I’m afraid not, my good sir. Please excuse my companion over here, he’s here to ensure our business goes smoothly,” Aventurine leans forward provocatively, showing off the expanse of creamy skin that peeks through that stupid heart-shaped cutout. It works like a charm because a glob of oily drool dangles from the Intellitron’s mouth and glides down his paunchy throat. Ratio’s fingers curl up into a fist. Aventurine slinks to sit next to the Intellitron and Ratio silently retreats to the other side.

The two of them start to chat, with Aventurine plying the Intellitron with glasses upon glasses of various spirits and liquors. Ratio tunes them out, but he keeps a close eye on the blond. Aventurine keeps up his act, a lingering touch here and there. Ratio does a quick calculation. Twenty minutes.

Aventurine is running out of time.

For the first time, Ratio feels spiky tendrils of fear crawl through him.

“Mr. Aventurine, I’d say we’ve talked enough business. How about we get to the pleasure?” The Intellitron finally rumbles. He grabs Aventurine by the nape and pulls, exposing Aventurine’s neck, the black brand obvious against Aventurine’s pale skin. “You received my gift, yes?”

“Ah yes, the drink?” Aventurine simpers, “It was quite delicious, thank you very much for that,” he flutters his eyes.

Twenty-five.

Ratio studies Aventurine. There is no change in his pallor. But why hasn’t the mission finished yet? All their intelligence points to the Intellitron being easy to seduce. Ratio stiffens.

Something is wrong.

The Intellitron smiles, but this time there is something off. A cruel glint. “Of course it’s delicious. I had it specially prepared for you, Mr. Aventurine.” The Intellitron bares his teeth in a menacing grin. And then he bites down on Aventurine’s neck. The blond makes a shocked gasp, trying to wriggle from the Intellitron. The Intellitron presses his face close to Aventurine’s. “Or should I say, Aventurine of Stratagems, one of the Ten Stonehearts?”

Aventurine’s smile is frozen on his face.

Ratio shoots out of his seat, but Aventurine stops him with a quick jerk of his head.

Blinking, Aventurine recovers quickly. He backs away from the Intellitron and spreads his arms, grinning widely. “Well done, you managed to uncover my real identity. I have to applaud you for that, my good sir. Tell me what is your purpose then?”

The Intellitron runs a grubby finger along Aventurine’s cheek, “After I have my way with you, one of Diamond’s sparkly stones will be in my possession. I will be a powerful man indeed.”

“How do you plan on getting me under your control?” Aventurine’s voice is syrupy sweet. “Whatever drug you slipped into my cocktail? I hate to disappoint you, but I’ve developed a tolerance to most drugs in the universe. Perks of having many enemies, I’m sure you know.”

“Know your place, slave,” the Intellitron barks, “That’s all you’re good for. Spread your legs for your master.”

Before he realizes it, Ratio is hurling himself at the obese, golden robot. His vision is nothing but red, burning anger. All rational thought leaves his mind.

“Ratio!” He hears Aventurine’s shrill cry, “No!”

Ratio doesn’t reach the Intellitron however.

Then chaos erupts.

The security guards open fire while the two women scream in fear, scrambling to duck under the table to avoid the spray of bullets.

“Ratio!” Aventurine screams again, panicked. It’s the first time, Ratio thinks, that he’s heard this kind of fear in Aventurine’s voice. There is a burst of golden light. Ratio blinks. He’s encased in a golden shield, a two-pronged shape with a heart sitting at the front of the shield. “What were you thinking?” Aventurine snaps. Without waiting for Ratio’s reply, Aventurine whips out his gun and pulls the trigger in six quick successions. The security guards drop dead, clean shots right between their eyes on every one of them.

“You!” The Intellitron fumes, struggling to get up, but his huge body makes it difficult.

“My good sir,” Aventurine purrs with cold fury, “Respectfully, I think I will have to turn your offer down.”

“Wait-!”

BANG!

Silence.

Aventurine lowers his gun, his chest heaving. “Go, ladies, you’re free now,” he says breathlessly to the two women cowering under the table. Panic-stricken, they hightail out of the VIP room. Aventurine turns to Ratio, still breathing hard. “I told you, Doctor. Life is a big gamble and I’m always the final victor.”

Then he collapses.

“Aventurine!” Ratio rushes to catch him. “What’s wrong?” He shakes Aventurine’s shoulder roughly.

Aventurine coughs and winces. “I think…the effects…are kicking in…My…thirty minutes…are up…” he rasps. “Don’t worry…I’m used…to it…” He coughs wetly. “Should…wear off…soon…”

“You fool,” There is no bite to Ratio’s words. Ratio hoists him up, and Aventurine stumbles clumsily. Ratio wraps an arm around his waist, steadying him.

“Heh…I’m ready…to go home now…Ratio…” the blond all but sags against Ratio.

Half asleep Taking your time In the tangerine, neon light This is luxury You're not saying you're in love with me But you're going to

They pass through Aventurine’s door. Ratio is silent. He observes the once empty apartment. Aventurine always had a bag ready at the door, his furnishings were sparse. His place barely looked lived in, vacant. Now, it’s a far different scene than what it was a couple of months ago. There’s a critter tower in the corner of the room and Ratio can see one of the critters hiding inside, yellow eyes glowing faintly. From the way it chirps in greeting at the sight of them, Ratio deduces that it’s Spade. He glances around for the other two. Dice is sleeping in one of the pet beds. The sofa has a blanket thrown over it, perfect for those nights in which Aventurine ends up falling asleep next to Ratio. Toys for the catcakes litter the floor. Ratio fights the urge to smile at the sight. He’s supposed to be angry with Aventurine for that stunt he pulled in the VIP room earlier, yet this domestic scene betrays his mood.

Aventurine clumsily toes off his shoes. Then he breaks away from Ratio’s arms and makes a beeline for the kitchen. Ratio watches him carefully. It seems Aventurine is slowly sobering up. He stumbles haphazardly, narrowly missing one of the catcake’s tails. Chip, Ratio thinks. Chip meows indignantly.

“Sorry, sorry,” Aventurine coos, bending down to pat the animal. The corners of Ratio’s mouth twitch before he folds his arms, staring impassively ahead. Aventurine hunts around for a glass, fills it with water, and downs it in one gulp. Ratio is enthralled by the line of his throat as he swallows. He wonders, what would it be like if he kissed a path down that throat.

“Say something,” Aventurine murmurs, breaking through his thoughts. He’s standing at the sink, his hands gripping the countertop tightly, still trembling slightly. Ratio is unpleasantly reminded of the way the Intellitron had sank his teeth into Aventurine’s neck, and his stomach twists.

Immediately, Ratio scowls. He approaches Aventurine, stopping before him, “What do you want me to say?”

Crestfallen, Aventurine casts his gaze downward. “I don’t know, maybe a ‘thank you,’ for saving your life?”

“You want me to thank you for putting your life at risk?” Ratio can still smell the metallic scent of blood in the air. It’s a miracle the two of them got out of that bloodbath unscathed. He should attribute it to the gambler’s insane luck. Ratio gives Aventurine a once-over. “What was in the drug?”

“He was bluffing-the Intellitron…It’s the same thing they use on the girls,” Aventurine downs another glass of water and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “It’s fine, I’m used to the effects.”

“Your lack of self-preservation astounds me,” Ratio sighs wearily, “Take off your jacket. Did any of the stray bullets hit you?”

“I’m in one piece!” Aventurine protests, but obeys Ratio’s command nonetheless. He shrugs off the ostentatious jacket, hands it to Ratio, and spreads his arms. Ratio starts to fold the jacket when there is a soft clink.

“What’s this?” Ratio reaches for the small object that had fallen out of the pocket. It’s a metal tube, adorned with an owl. The very same canister he had given to Aventurine in Penacony. “You kept it,” he breathes. There’s a smile slowly spreading over his face, and he’s unable to force it down.

“Wha-hey!” Aventurine practically launches himself at Ratio, grabbing the message tube, his cheeks red. “So what if I did?” His hand clenches, “It’s a good reminder that the Veritas Ratio wished me luck!”

Ratio sets the jacket on the countertop and folds his arms. The tiniest of smiles graces his face, turning the corners of his mouth upwards. He quickly notes Aventurine is not sporting any wounds. Aventurine quietly tucks the canister back into the pocket. They settle into silence, with Aventurine downing another glass of water. He’s stopped trembling, Ratio notices. The effects of the drug must be wearing off.

“That was the first time,” Aventurine whispers suddenly, staring forlornly at the glass on the counter. He glances up and sends Ratio a sad little smile. It tears at Ratio’s heart. “That’s the first time I protected someone other than myself. The first time I…kept someone safe.” Ratio stills, sensing that Aventurine wasn’t completely finished. He lets Aventurine continue. The blond sighs softly. “My sister…those Avgins who had helped me… I wasn’t able to…keep them safe…By the time, I got the Cornerstone…it was…too late.”

“I understand,” Ratio’s voice is hushed, “I…you don’t have to explain yourself further. I understand. And…thank you for protecting me. I…” He trails off, unsure of what to say, “I just wish you also protected yourself as well.” Ratio grasps Aventurine’s shoulder gently, “What’s the point of protecting others if you don’t protect yourself first?”

Aventurine moves away, chuckling, “But Doctor, you know I’m always the final victor, so what’s the use of protecting myself?”

“Gambler, you-” Ratio scowls, dropping his hand, but Aventurine cuts him off with a bright laugh. It sounds far more genuine than his previous ones.

“Relax,” Aventurine waves a hand, “I’m kidding. I get it. You have to admit this mission is far tamer than the ones I’ve done in the past. And I’m home instead of in a dingy hotel room.”

Ratio’s expression twists unpleasantly. This scene is a far cry from the ones in the past in which he had to collect the gambler, most likely naked, stripped of his dignity, when Aventurine was left to deal with the aftermath of all those men having finished their business with him. Aventurine had always brushed it off like it was nothing, cracking a joke here and there, while Ratio remained silent, stoically waiting for him to clean up. Despite acting like it was nothing, Aventurine usually avoided Ratio for a few days before strolling back into Ratio’s office without a care in the world and his usual smile hidden behind the pink glasses. Ratio had never commented on the behavior – it wasn’t his place to dictate how Aventurine lived his life. But at the same time, he wished the gambler had a greater sense of self preservation. It’s an improvement, he supposes. They’ve definitely come a long way.

“Not bad. 5 points,” Ratio begrudgingly mutters.

Aventurine tosses his head back, laughing merrily, “I’ll take it! Do I get a reward?”

Ratio sighs but decides to humor him for once. “What would you even want?”

There is a brief respite in which Aventurine’s mask slips and Ratio sees waves of doubt swimming in those pupils. Then Ratio blinks. Aventurine is smiling once again.

“Doctor, close your eyes, indulge me for a sec, will you?”

Ratio huffs, but he follows Aventurine’s directions, shuts his eyes, and waits. He hears some shuffling and then the slightest warmth touches his lips briefly. He jerks, surprised, eyes flying open. “You-”

Aventurine moves away, laughing softly, “You’re not supposed to open your eyes until I say so. What’s the point of indulging me if you’re not going to follow my instructions?”

“Gambler,” Ratio follows him, crowding him against the countertop. “If you’re going to kiss me,” he breathes, “Then you should kiss me properly at least.” Aventurine stares at him, mouth agape in surprise. Ratio feels a twinge of satisfaction at catching the man off guard. He leans down, stopping right before Aventurine’s face. “Well?”

“Ratio…” Aventurine hesitates, but he reaches out to grab Ratio’s lapel, hand trembling slightly. There’s an internal turmoil boiling behind those hypnotizing eyes. Aventurine seems to be weighing out his odds. Ratio waits, silently urging him to take the chance. Aeons knows he’s wanted this moment just as much as Aventurine. The Stoneheart takes a deep breath before leaning in, and then their lips meet.

There is a sharp intake. Ratio’s not sure who made the sound. Aventurine pulls Ratio closer, hand yanking on the chain of his collar.

Ratio snakes his hand behind Aventurine and grabs the tightly balled up left hand. “There is no need to gamble on me,” he murmurs, spreading out Aventurine’s fingers. His fingers interlock with Aventurine’s as they melt together, lips brushing, tongues tasting each other.

Aventurine’s small frame shakes. “Doctor,” he whispers, “Can I cash in my winnings from our deal?” He pulls away slightly, their lips separate by mere millimeters.

The violet-haired man studies him carefully. Aeons, he wants him. This man who had grabbed Ratio’s hands to slip a gun inside and aimed it at his chest in their first meeting. The man who hides his pain behind opulent displays of wealth and exaggerated acts of confidence, but Ratio knows. Ratio knows about the hand cleverly hidden behind his back, the one that trembles whenever Aventurine makes a big gamble. He knows Aventurine’s tendency to hide his true feelings behind the big grin and the rose-tinted glasses. Ratio is a rational man. But even he can’t explain the magnetizing pull Aventurine has on him. He wants to see Aventurine truly happy. Preferably by his side.

“This isn’t a bet or one of your silly gambles,” Ratio’s voice is hoarse. “I don’t-I’m not one of your business clients.” The meaning of his words is clear.

Aventurine looks unusually serious. He stares at Ratio, “Of course not,” his tongue darts between his lips nervously, “You could never be, Ratio.”

“Very well,” Ratio surges forward until their lips meet once more, “I agree to the conditions of our deal.”

Aventurine’s laugh is muffled by the sound of their bodies pressing close. Ratio kisses him incessantly until he’s gasping for breath. “Eager, are we?” He chuckles breathlessly.

“Damn Gambler,” Ratio grumbles, but his tone is fond. The doctor presses an open-mouthed kiss against Aventurine’s lips. He eyes Aventurine’s neck and decides to give in to his desires. Ratio leaves a trail of wet kisses down to the smaller man’s collarbone, taking care to treat the black branded letters with care.

“You don’t have to treat me so gently, Ratio,” Aventurine murmurs, “I’m not that fragile.”

“No,” Ratio agrees, “But I want to,” with that, he cups Aventurine’s face tenderly, slipping a leg between Aventurine’s. The blond utters a strangled gasp. Spurred on by the man’s reactions, Ratio traces the slightly raised letters with his tongue.

“Ratio-” Aventurine is cut off by Ratio sucking at the skin at the hollow of his neck. “You…Hey!” A moan bubbles forth. Aventurine flushes scarlet at the sound. He’s never made such noises with his clients.

“You want me?” Ratio presses against his mouth incessantly, “Then it’ll have to be on my terms.” He grinds himself against Aventurine and Aventurine can feel a hard outline of something poking him.

A broken whine leaves his throat, unwarranted. Breathless, Aventurine can feel his body coming alive. Ratio seems to sense his desperation and trails his fingers down Aventurine’s sides. Against his will, Aventurine pants a moan into Ratio’s mouth. The erection poking into his stomach seems to get increasingly harder. Aventurine can feel his own cock stirring. He chances a look between them, and his mouth drops. The tent Ratio is sporting is huge.

Aeons. Was this real?

His mouth runs dry, “Ratio, wait-” he pushes against Ratio.

“Do you want me to stop?” Ratio pants, staring hard at Aventurine. What a sight the Doctor looked with his flushed cheeks and mussed hair. There’s burning lust barely unveiled in those carmine eyes.

Aventurine can hardly believe that the Dr. Veritas Ratio wants him. The always composed Ratio barely holding it together for him.

Aventurine’s teeth sink into his lower lip before he breaks into a hungry grin, “I’ve never seen you like this,” he purrs, reaching between them to caress Ratio’s chin. “It’s a good look, do you show this to anyone else?”

“I’m not like you, Gambler,” the Doctor growls impatiently, “I’m not like those idiots who take advantage of you either,” he noses against Aventurine’s hand as he presses a soft kiss against it. “If at any point, you want to stop,” Ratio murmurs, his gaze earnest, “If at any point, you’re not comfortable, tell me.”

The sincerity in Ratio’s words knocks the wind out of Aventurine. None of his previous bed partners had even bothered to worry about Aventurine, preferring to chase their own pleasures. That was fine with Aventurine. In the end, both of the parties had gained what they wanted. “Why does it matter?” Aventurine tries to laugh, his voice hoarse. “It’s just sex, isn’t it?”

Ratio stops. His brows draw into a frown. “I’m not going to do anything you don’t consent to,” he begins, “Whatever happens tonight, I want it to be mutually enjoyable for both of us.”

“You’re a sap, Ratio,” Aventurine snorts.

“No,” Ratio says slowly, “I respect you, Aventurine, and I respect your limits. Now, do you want to stop?”

“Are you literally insane?” Aventurine gasps, “You make us this hard and you want to stop?”

“If it’s something you don’t want, yes.”

Aventurine gapes at him, before yanking Ratio down to him, “You agreed to the conditions of our deal dammit, don’t you dare!” He hisses indignantly. Ratio’s chest rumbles, as he leans in once more to press a hungry kiss against Aventurine’s mouth. Belatedly, Aventurine realizes the Doctor is laughing. “You!” He petulantly paws at Ratio’s ridiculous outfit with all the cutouts. “Off! Now!” Ratio continues to chuckle as he scoops up Aventurine. “Hey!”

“Impatient Gambler,” Ratio nips affectionately at Aventurine’s lips, “Don’t you want to take this to the bedroom?” His tone is low and sultry.

Of all the years they’ve known each other, it’s the first time Aventurine’s seen him like this. Hungry. Playful. It kindles a fire in his stomach. Aeons, he wants Ratio. He wants to be ravished by him. Aventurine cradles Ratio’s face to kiss him clumsily. “Please,” he pants. He’s never felt this kind of desperation before.

Ratio smirks and starts walking them to Aventurine’s bedroom, Aventurine still in his arms. The gambler can feel every flex of Ratio’s muscles, and it’s the hottest thing he’s ever experienced. Ratio sets Aventurine down gently before peering into his eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Ratio, you-” Aventurine’s teeth ground together. He grabs Ratio’s silly sash and throws it off Ratio’s shoulder, before working at the chain that went around Ratio’s neck. The Doctor sits back leisurely to allow Aventurine easier access. “How many times do I have to say it?” Aventurine growls, flicking open Ratio’s shirt, “Don’t you dare stop.”  Their mouths meet in a messy kiss. Ratio gives Aventurine some brief seconds of control before taking the reins back into his hands. He forces Aventurine back, fingers deftly unbuckling the collar around Aventurine’s neck. Ratio quickly sheds Aventurine of his shirt, trailing his hands up and down Aventurine’s slender chest. “Hah…” Aventurine makes a choked gasp as Ratio leisurely roams over his chest, slipping his tongue into Aventurine’s mouth. He can feel Ratio’s erection pressing into him. Aeons, it’s grown even bigger. Aventurine’s own cocks throbs in response. He feels hot all over. Ratio kisses down his neck, across his chest, and Aventurine’s breath hitches when the man presses searing kisses across his stomach. “Ratio…” The Doctor’s name leaves his mouth in a breathless moan.

“Sensitive,” Ratio remarks before trailing his tongue in a wet strip down Aventurine’s abdomen and Aventurine keens, fingers landing in Ratio’s hair. Aventurine’s head spins as he swallows hard. He can hear his heartbeat thudding heavily in his ears. There is the distinctive clink of Aventurine’s belt being undone, and Aventurine blinks blearily down at the sight. “Lift yourself,” Ratio commands softly. Without a snarky comment, Aventurine obeys silently. Ratio slides his pants down to his feet, the rustling of his clothes abnormally loud. Now fully naked, Aventurine lays in front of Ratio. He feels the Doctor’s gaze roving over his nude form.

Feeling strangely self-conscious, Aventurine squirms nervously. This is strange. Aventurine had been naked in front of countless other people, yet being laid bare before Ratio is different. He feels shy. Aventurine smirks, trying to disguise his apprehension. “Join me, Doctor,” he breathlessly gestures at Ratio, who’s standing at the end of his bed. “Do you want me to take care of that?” Aventurine reaches for the bulge straining at the front of Ratio’s pants. There is a sharp intake of breath before Ratio slaps Aventurine’s hand away. “Why not, Doctor?” Aventurine purrs, “I’ve been told I’m real good at it.”

“We’re doing this on my terms,” Ratio murmurs, “Let me pleasure you instead.”

Aventurine’s brain short circuits. “He-hey,” he stammers, “This isn’t usually how it goes.”

Ratio snorts before leaning over to press another soft kiss against Aventurine’s lips. “Gambler, do you trust me?”

Of course, Doctor, you’re the person I trust the most.

“Relax,” Ratio’s deep voice rumbles, “I’m not going to hurt you. I just need your trust.”

Aventurine tries to grin, “What do you want to do to me, Doctor? Do you want to fuck me until I can’t walk? Fuck me until I’m brainless and know nothing but your name?” Bluff. He’s bluffing, but Ratio doesn’t know that.

Something changes in Ratio’s expression, and the man’s nostrils flare. “No,” he says quietly, “Not unless you want it. Now, do you trust me? Yes or no?”

“Such a gentleman,” Aventurine taunts, “Alright, I’ll play your game.”

“Yes or no, Aventurine?” Ratio repeats.

A pause.

“Fine. Yes,” Aventurine sighs.

There is a glint in Ratio’s eyes. The man studies him. He raises a hand to cradle Aventurine’s cheek. The tenderness on Ratio’s face floors Aventurine. For a moment, he wonders what would happen if Ratio were to see beneath the tumultuous waves of Aventurine’s emotions. Would he see the admiration and feelings that Aventurine has hidden for so long?

Ratio slowly traces his hands down Aventurine’s sides, followed by his lips, as he situates himself between Aventurine’s legs.

“Ratio…” Aventurine whispers hoarsely, feeling apprehensive. “You don’t…” He can barely hear himself over the thunderous pounding of his heart.

Ratio responds with soft kisses to Aventurine’s inner thigh and Aventurine’s breath hitches, the gasp dying in his throat before it had a chance to escape. He meets Ratio’s fiery gaze. With a swipe of his finger, the Doctor collects the pearly bead of precum. Still staring at Aventurine, Ratio pops his finger into his mouth.

Fuck, that’s hot.

It should be illegal, Aventurine thinks, watching Ratio clean off his finger.

“Ratio…you…” Aventurine squirms under Ratio’s heated gaze.

“Relax,” Ratio murmurs, noting Aventurine’s apprehension. His mouth is close enough that Aventurine feels the hot breath fan over his throbbing cock, and he holds his breath, not daring to let it out.

Relax? How was he supposed to do that? Relax when he’s got the Veritas Ratio between his legs about to pleasure him?

Aventurine must be dreaming.

“Aventurine, breathe…” Ratio brings him back to his senses. He quirks a brow as if silently asking for permission.

Aventurine gulps and nods shakily. He watches as Ratio takes him into his mouth, and Aventurine keens at the sensation, body arching off the bed.

Aeons.

The sensation of Ratio’s mouth around his cock is unlike anything he’s ever felt. He’s pleasured plenty of clients before, usually unwillingly, but he put up a damn good show. Ratio’s mouth is warm and inviting.

“So sensitive,” Ratio mumbles, as if he didn’t have a mouthful of Aventurine’s cock. The vibrations make Aventurine shudder. Then Ratio inhales deeply and bobs his head, taking Aventurine deep in his throat.

“Ratio!” Aventurine moans like a bitch in heat, and immediately claps his hands over his mouth, blushing crimson.

Ratio lets go of Aventurine’s cock with a pop! “Don’t hide,” he chides. The man’s voice is husky. “I want to hear you.”

“Ratio-you-” Aventurine chokes, because Ratio slots his mouth over Aventurine’s tip and sucks. Aventurine dissolves into a series of unintelligible noises.

Aeons, what is this?

He’s done worse things in the past with his clients, but never like this. Ratio is gentle, bobbing his head rhythmically, being mindful of his teeth, as Aventurine falls apart under him. The fire kindled from earlier, blazes hot in Aventurine’s stomach. It shoots spiky tendrils of heat through his entire body.

What is this feeling?

“Wa-” Aventurine panics, fingers squabbling at the bedsheets. There is a wave of something cresting inside him. Aventurine doesn’t know what will happen when it drops.

Ratio responds by trailing his tongue down Aventurine’s length as he sucks harder. Aventurine’s hand finds itself in Ratio’s hair, unsure whether to pull Ratio away or push him down more. Ratio renews his efforts, moving his head with fervor, and Aventurine’s fingers tighten in those wavy, violet locks. Ratio makes a hum that sounds like approval.

“Ratio!” Aventurine whimpers, gasping at his ceiling. He can feel pressure building up behind a dam. “Wait-” For the first time, he feels a sliver of fear.

What’s going to happen to him when the dam breaks?

Aventurine knew sex. He wielded it as a weapon. No one wielded it better than he did. Sex was a transaction. He offered pleasure, he received information or deal closings in return. He knew how to make grown men fall apart with a flick of his wrist, a coy smile, or an exaggerated moan here and there. CEOS and political leaders alike divulged their darkest secrets at the brink of pleasure. Ten or so minutes of discomfort and pain was worth it in exchange for the information Aventurine wrought from his clients. He’d seen countless important persons eagerly display their skeletons in their closets while fucking him. Many people across the universe wanted to fuck an Avgin, after all. That was Aventurine’s role, nothing but a slave to fulfill someone else’s pleasure. And Aventurine was damn good at it.

So then, what is this? What is Ratio doing to him? And why did it feel good?

There’s a stinging sensation behind his eyes, tears that collect at the corners. Aventurine doesn’t understand. He’s not in pain. He’s not sad. Ratio dips his tongue into Aventurine’s slit, and his thoughts scatter into nothingness. His body trembles uncontrollably.

“Ratio!” Aventurine cries out, trying to shrink away from the mounting pressure. The sensation is foreign to him. But it feels so good.

What do I do, Doctor?

Ratio pops off Aventurine’s cock, replacing his mouth with a large, warm hand. Aventurine’s eyes roll back in their sockets at the feeling. “It’s alright,” Ratio murmurs, his voice is the tenderest Aventurine has ever heard. “Don’t fight it. Let go when you want.”

Let go? What does he mean by that? Aventurine gapes confusedly.

Ratio ducks down, slotting his mouth back over Aventurine’s tip and stroking the rest of Aventurine’s length with his hand. Aventurine dissolves into pitiful mewls once again. He digs his fingers into Ratio’s scalp, earning him a pleased grunt from the man. Ratio’s motions increase in speed.

I’m going to explode.

Panicked, Aventurine yanks the violet locks, trying to get the man to stop, but Ratio flattens his tongue and sucks with vigor. Tension rises within Aventurine, like a bubble to the surface, like a rubber band pulled taut.

Snap!

His vision bursts into white and Aventurine jerks as the dam finally breaks. He is incapable of thought, of speech.

Ecstasy. Overwhelming bliss.

It floods through his body like a tsunami crashing down to the shore, washing away all his troubles, his worries, his being. His body convulses violently. Distinctly, he can feel his body being gathered into a pair of warm arms.

When the tremors start to subside, Aventurine can hear his pants echoing throughout the room and he blinks dazedly. A pair of lips press lightly against his forehead. He jerks with surprise.

“Are you alright?” Ratio murmurs, fingers trailing down Aventurine’s arm soothingly.

“Huh…?” Aventurine manages a confused gasp. “What…?”

A warm hand cradles his tear-stained cheeks. When did he cry?

“That, was an orgasm,” Ratio explains patiently as if he hadn’t just sucked Aventurine off and exploded his mind. “Do you feel okay?”

“I…” The aftershocks start to wear off and clarity gradually returns to Aventurine. “I’m fine.”

It’s the truth. Aventurine has never felt better. The world seems to be bathed in glowing pleasantness. Now he understands why men divulged their secrets so easily after his services. Ratio’s hands cradle his cheek before the man kisses him. Aventurine can still taste his essence on Ratio’s tongue.

“Ratio…” He moans, a little helplessly.

Ratio chuckles, “Are you ready for what’s next?”

That’s right. Ratio hasn’t received pleasure yet. It’s time for Aventurine to do his part.

“Yes, Doctor,” Aventurine simpers.

Ratio eyes him suspiciously but stands and takes the opportunity to shed his pants. “Do you have lube?” He asks as he turns around, presenting Aventurine with a magnificent view of his cock.

Ratio is huge.

Aventurine’s mouth runs dry at the sight. Ratio is far larger than any man he had seen, with a flushed pink tip already oozing with beads of glossy precum. “In…in the drawer,” he manages to mutter, trying not to let his apprehension show on his face while simultaneously wondering how Ratio is going to fit inside him.

A strange expression knits Ratio’s brows. Wordlessly, the man opens the drawer and produces a small bottle of lube.

“It’s-it’s not for anyone else. I haven’t used it,” Aventurine blurts. He doesn’t know why he’s explaining himself as if he’s done something wrong. “I don’t-I don’t bring other people home.”

Understanding washes over Ratio’s face as he huffs a chuckle, “Relax, I understand. I’m not doubting you.” The man makes his way back to the bed and Aventurine audibly gulps, mentally preparing himself. “Aventurine?” Ratio stops in his advance, “Do you want to stop?”

“What? No!” Aventurine protests immediately. “It’s just…wow, Doctor, you’re huge!” He smirks with exaggerated bravado and hoists his legs over his shoulders, presenting Ratio with a clear view of his ass. “Put it in, Doctor,” he purrs seductively, “Go on, fuck me.”

Ratio frowns at him disapprovingly, “Are you an idiot?” He hisses, scandalized, “I can’t take you without adequate preparation.”

“Preparation?” Aventurine’s legs slowly drop back to the sheets as he lets them go. “Prepare for what?”

A myriad of emotions crosses Ratio’s face when he realizes Aventurine is serious. Shock. Horror. Anger. Sadness.

“Aventurine, you-” The man cuts himself off sharply with an aggrieved jerk of his head, “Never mind,” Ratio mutters quickly, “It appears I have to teach you.” He crawls back to Aventurine’s side. Aventurine shivers once before he stops himself. “Relax,” Ratio murmurs, “Do you trust me?”

Aventurine meets Ratio’s eyes. “Yes,” his answer is hushed.

“Very well,” Ratio twists off the lid of the lube and spreads the goo liberally over his hand. “Spread your legs for me,” he orders, but his tone is gentle. Silently, Aventurine follows his direction. Ratio leans into him and presses a soft kiss to the corner of his lips. Aventurine feels Ratio’s slicked-up finger circle his hole. He stiffens, bracing himself for the intrusion. “Relax,” Ratio whispers, before kissing him fully, a tongue licks at the seam of Aventurine’s lips, asking for permission. Aventurine allows Ratio in. Simultaneously, Ratio pushes his finger into Aventurine’s entrance.

“Ngh…?” Aventurine breaks away from Ratio’s lips with a confused moan. He peers between them. Ratio has his finger sheathed inside Aventurine. The man watches Aventurine carefully. This is odd. Granted that Ratio’s finger is considerably thinner than most people’s cocks, shouldn’t it still hurt? Why doesn’t it hurt? “Hah…?” Aventurine whimpers at the sensation. Ratio rocks his finger into Aventurine slowly. A tingly feeling is spreading throughout his body.

“Watch and learn, Gambler,” Ratio murmurs, a hint of amusement creeping into his voice as he pulls out his finger slightly and pushes it back in.

“Argh!” Aventurine shudders with a cry. The position of Ratio’s finger is different from earlier and it meets a resistance within Aventurine, igniting a pleasure Aventurine had never experienced before. “Wha…”

“That’s your prostate,” Ratio is smiling, “Are you ready for another?”

“Wha-huh?” Aventurine blinks confusedly and then his voice breaks into a gasp. His eyes screwed shut at the intrusion of Ratio’s second finger. Ratio works him slowly, scissoring his fingers and stretching him out until Aventurine is nothing but a moaning mess. Then Ratio adds another, moving his fingers increasingly faster, always hitting that specific spot. The room is quiet save for Aventurine’s moans and the lewd squelching of Ratio’s fingers. It sets off fireworks within Aventurine.

“Ratio-” the blond all but chokes, flushing red. He can feel that now familiar pressure building up again and his cock throbs in reply.

“You’re doing so good,” Ratio soothes, “I think you might be ready.”

Ready? Aventurine blinks blearily as Ratio gently retracts his fingers. He whines softly in protest at the empty feeling. Ratio presses a kiss to quiet him.

Acutely aware of what’s going to happen, Aventurine watches as Ratio coats himself liberally with the lube. Ratio grunts at the little bit of relief as he strokes his cock. “If you need to stop,” Ratio’s voice is hoarse. “Tell me.” Aventurine holds his breath when Ratio lines his tip against Aventurine’s entrance. Ratio leans down to press their foreheads together, giving a brief moment to steady himself. “Aventurine,” the man rasps, “Yes or no?”

Aventurine can’t believe this moment is happening. When he made that deal with Ratio, he had been mostly joking. Ratio is supposed to be the one chip, the one card, the one gamble Aventurine had promised himself never to bet. Ratio is supposed to be with someone bright and better than Aventurine. Someone smarter. Someone brilliant. Someone who doesn’t let men tear them apart in exchange for information. Someone who refuses to take risks. Someone safe. Aventurine is supposed to shove these long-held feelings for Ratio into the deepest recesses of his heart, never to see the light of day. Ratio should not know. Ratio should never know.

But Aventurine is greedy. And Aventurine is selfish. And Aventurine wants to keep whatever little he owns close to his heart.

I want you, Ratio.

“Yes,” Aventurine gasps out. It’s the truest answer he’s ever given. Fiery eyes lock into Aventurine’s vibrant ones.

Then Ratio pushes, and Aventurine’s mouth slackens with a choked moan. Ratio is much bigger than three fingers and it burns. Aventurine clamps down instinctually, unsure whether to eject the giant protrusion or pull it more inside him.

“Relax…” the man grumbles tersely, waiting for Aventurine to adjust. Aventurine clings to Ratio like a lifeline. Ratio inches forward slightly.

“Hah…” Aventurine gasps, gouging red lines into Ratio’s back. Little by little, Ratio pushes more into Aventurine’s entrance.

“Fuck.”

Ratio curses with a grunt. It’s so depraved, so unlike the doctor who usually spoke so eloquently. “You’re doing so well,” he rasps, struggling with all his might to not slam into the blond under him. Harsh tremors shoot from Aventurine’s entrance to his skull, rattling his mind. With a final push, Ratio bottoms out.

“Ah!” Aventurine cries out, shutting his eyes against the painful sting. His fingers dig themselves into Ratio’s back.

“Do you-do you need me to pull out?” Ratio’s voice is hoarse as if the man is barely holding himself together.

No, no, no. I want you.

Unconsciously, Aventurine tightens around Ratio, making the man hiss. “No,” Aventurine gasps, “No, please-wait-”

Ratio takes a shaky breath and tries to distract the two of them with searing kisses along Aventurine’s lips as Aventurine shudders.

Slowly, the harsh pangs of pain even out into a dull throb, before morphing into delicious tendrils of pleasure. Aventurine gradually releases his death grip on Ratio’s poor back.

“Are you alright?” Ratio murmurs, thumbs brushing over Aventurine’s cheek. There’s nothing but genuine concern.

“I…think so?”

The doctor studies him to make sure. “I’m going to move now,” Ratio announces quietly, “Tell me if you need to stop.”

Aventurine answers with a shaky nod. The first rock of Ratio’s hips has Aventurine hiccupping in a gasp. Ratio brings their faces close to meld their lips together in a heated kiss as he continues to thrust shallowly into Aventurine. The slow grind of Ratio makes Aventurine’s head spin. It sends sparks flying along every inch, every synapse of his nerves. Pleasure builds in his veins, like he’s just been given a warm and delicious shot, the most exhilarating drug known to man. Aventurine’s hands wander into Ratio’s dark locks. Their mouths part, separated by mere centimeters, as they stare into each other’s eyes. Aventurine is floored by the tenderness he finds in Ratio’s carmine gaze.

What is…happening?

This has never happened before. Aventurine has never experienced this…pleasure with any of his clients.

“What…” Aventurine chokes, “What-what is happening?”

Ratio continues to move, gentle as ever, his own eyes falling shut as he gradually loses himself to the pleasure. “What do you mean?” He huffs in a breathless laugh, kissing alongside Aventurine’s jaw and nose brushing along Aventurine’s mouth. Aventurine makes a strangled noise in his throat.

“This…isn’t sex,” Aventurine mumbles without thinking.

Ratio slows to a stop, his eyes blinking in confusion before a glint of realization flashes. “You’re right,” Ratio says quietly. “This isn’t sex.”

“Then what…?”

“This isn’t sex,” Ratio repeats. He cradles Aventurine’s face like it’s the most precious thing. A smile spreads slowly over Ratio’s face. It knocks the breath out of Aventurine’s lungs. Rarely, does the Doctor smile, but when he does, it’s the most beautiful thing Aventurine’s ever seen. “This is me making love to you, Gambler.”

Ratio’s words leave Aventurine speechless. Stunned, Aventurine can only stare up at him. Smiling, Ratio brushes a lock of blond hair from his face before tracing a finger in the space below Aventurine’s ear. There’s a click as Ratio switches off Aventurine’s Synesthesia Beacon. Aventurine’s brows crinkle in confusion, but a smile still graces Ratio’s handsome face. And then Aventurine hears something he’s never expected to leave Ratio’s mouth.

“I love you, Aventurine.”

With those four words, Ratio pulls out, leaving only the tip. Before Aventurine can even comprehend what’s going on, the man thrusts forward, making a broken cry erupt from Aventurine’s mouth. Stars erupt in his vision.

“Ah!” Aventurine arches at the sensation of being filled with Ratio’s girthy cock. The man begins to move in earnest as he pummels Aventurine’s sweet spot, delivering mind-numbing pleasure with every thrust. “Ratio!” Aventurine claws at Ratio’s back. Over and over again, Ratio continues to rock into Aventurine.

“I love you,” Ratio presses their mouths together, both of them gasping. “I love you.” Thrust after thrust, Ratio utters those three words with desperate groans. The words settle themselves into Aventurine, ingraining deep into his bones.

I love you.

Too much. Too hot. Too good.

Aventurine is reduced to a mess of nonsensical whimpers and moans. Bliss, white-hot and blinding, spreads over every inch of him. Ratio increases his pace and Aventurine hurtles closer to the edge. He feels exhilarated, weightless. Ratio links their hands together, interlocking their fingers, as he all but pummels Aventurine. Aventurine holds Ratio’s hand like a lifeline, like it’s the only thing tethering him to reality.

“Ratio, I’m-” Aventurine’s frantic words break into a shrill cry.

“Let go. Come for me,” Ratio’s voice is strained, ragged, “Come for me, my love.” He wraps a hand around Aventurine’s cock and tugs.

Aventurine bursts with a visceral scream, raw and primal. His body wracks with violent tremors that leave him impossibly taut.

Euphoria. It’s the only thing that can describe it.

Aventurine’s orgasm washes over him like a wave, smothering him. He’s left gasping noiselessly, his throat raw. The last vestiges of his mind shatter into a million pieces. He’s simultaneously floating and sinking.

Ratio continues to thrust into Aventurine, his strokes increasingly sloppy as he chases his own release. “I love you,” he pants desperately into Aventurine’s gasping mouth. With a guttural groan, Ratio sinks himself within Aventurine. His hips jerk as he releases, shooting his cum deep in Aventurine.

For a while, the pair is just content to lie in each other’s arms, panting as they try to catch their breaths, still connected.

Aventurine blinks dazedly as he reaches groggily for Ratio, feeling the edge of his consciousness beginning to slip away. His vision is starting to darken. Ratio gathers Aventurine into a tender embrace.

“I’ll clean you up,” Ratio seems to be saying, but Aventurine isn’t sure. His lids feel heavy. His Synesthesia Beacon is still turned off. The intense bliss settles into a warm contentedness.

Aventurine feels a soft sensation on his forehead. Lips, his disoriented mind supplies him helpfully. There is a chuckle, gruff and adoring.

“Rest well, Gambler. I love you.”

It’s the last thing he hears before he succumbs to the delicious glow slowly covering him like a warm blanket.

Half awake Taking your chance It's a big mistake I said it might blow up in your pretty face I'm not saying do it anyway But you're going to

Light is hitting his face. Aventurine rolls over with a groan. He stretches out, fingers in search of warmth, and his eyes shoot open when he finds none. Sitting up in alarm, he blinks the sleep out of his eyes. When he confirms he is alone, he sinks back against his pillows with a strangled laugh. Of course, he thinks bitterly, why would Ratio stay? His arms fall against his face, blocking out the sunlight. At the end of it all, I’m always alone. Aventurine grates out a chuckle. He allows himself a few moments of self-pity, before he stretches, intending to get on with his day, running over what he needs to do in his head. The report from yesterday needs to be drafted up and sent to Jade. His muscles ache, but in a wholly satisfactory way. And he’s reminded of the events that transgressed last night. His body flushes at the thought.

I love you.

Carmine eyes that remind Aventurine of the prettiest dawn come to mind. Ratio had said he loved him. Not only that, but Ratio had said it in the Sigonian language. A cry bubbles forth from his throat, but Aventurine forces it down.

I love you.

Ratio had breathed those three words into his skin as he worshipped Aventurine last night, carved it into his very soul. So then, where was the man in question?

He probably got caught in the heat of the moment, the lust and emotions, Aventurine reasons. He closes his eyes. His throat feels prickly.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Aventurine swallows hard.

A quiet chirrup interrupts his wallowing, and he opens his eyes to see Spade staring curiously at him.

“I’m being silly,” he murmurs to the critter, leaning forward in his blanket to pick it up.

Spade answers him with another hum, almost questioningly.

“Maybe it was a dream,” Aventurine tells the creature, but the delicious ache in his muscles feels too real. “He can’t love me.” The catcake blinks at him, and he sighs, setting it down. “Let’s get this day going, Spade! Papa’s got lots to do!” The words are said with fake enthusiasm. Swinging his legs out from his blanket, Aventurine stands. Or rather, he tries. Immediately his legs wobble under his weight, and he bits back a curse as he falls back against the bed.

“Oh, you’re awake,” A voice-a very familiar voice sounds from his doorway. Aventurine whips his head towards the source.

He’s greeted by the sight of a shirtless Ratio clad only in a pair of silk pajama pants, holding a tray of what appears to be breakfast. There’s a small crease of concern that distorts those strong brows.

Aventurine’s mouth falls open. Ratio is here. Ratio hadn’t slipped from his bed in the middle of the night. Ratio didn’t leave him after fucking him senseless. Ratio made breakfast. Ratio is here.

The sight is so unexpected, such a stark contrast to his previous thoughts that Aventurine gapes soundlessly at Ratio. Never in Aventurine’s wildest fantasies had he predicted the sight of Veritas Ratio bringing him breakfast in bed.

“What’s wrong?” Ratio takes a step towards Aventurine, and it occurs to Aventurine that he should say something.

“You’re here,” he croaks finally, sagging against his pillow. “You…um…didn’t go?”

There is genuine confusion that paints over Ratio’s handsome features. “Why would I go?”

“Ha…” Aventurine drags a hand down his face. How does he explain this…? Surely what they did last night was a one-time occurrence. Once-in-a-lifetime, he got the Veritas Ratio to sleep with him. Done and dusted. Case closed. They can’t continue this.

I love you.

Aventurine wants to rip his brain out. Ratio doesn’t love him. He can’t.

“You’ve got me out of my element here, Doc,” he drawls, trying to find some semblance of normal. Though this situation is a far cry from normalcy. “This…usually doesn’t happen… um…after a night of passion,” he grins, internally wanting to burrow under the covers and never emerge again. The smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

Ratio sighs, “Haven’t we established that I’m not one of your clients?” He moves towards Aventurine and sets the breakfast tray on the nightstand. “Stop treating me like one,” Ratio’s voice was unusually aggrieved. “I’m not going to sneak away in the middle of the night like some kind of cheap whore,” he spits the word out venomously. “Now eat. Then we’ll talk.”

Aventurine eyes the food. A stack of pancakes, fluffy and still steaming. Mouthwatering strawberries, thinly sliced, were scattered on top with a drizzle of golden syrup. A glass of orange juice, freshly squeezed from the looks of it. There’s no doubt Ratio had made this from scratch.

“You’re spoiling me,” Aventurine tries to laugh, but finds he can’t. There’s a lump in his throat.

“Well,” Ratio sits himself down next to Aventurine and hands him a fork and knife, expectant. “Perhaps sometimes you should be spoiled.”

The blond grasps the fork and knife and then stops. There’s a duck made of whipped cream sitting proudly on top of the pancakes. It’s so comical, so out of character, yet in character at the same time of Ratio to do so. He must’ve prepared this breakfast meticulously. Aventurine can’t remember the last time someone had done so much for him. Had cared about him.

“What’s the matter?” Ratio places his hands over Aventurine’s hands and begins cutting into the stack of pancakes. “Is it not to your liking?”

Aventurine shakes his head mutely. “…Why?” He garbled out a cry. Ratio looks at him questioningly and to Aventurine’s utter horror, a tear slips down his cheek.

“Aventurine?” Ratio seems just as shocked as him. The man quickly puts the tray back on the nightstand, before reaching over to wipe at the tear. “Are you hurt? Was I...too much?” The blatant concern breaks the dam as more tears follow. Stricken, Ratio cups Aventurine’s face, thumbs brushing soothingly. Aventurine shrinks back, as if electrocuted.

“Why?” Aventurine chokes out, shaking his head to avoid Ratio’s touch. “Why are you doing all this…for me?”

Ratio sits back to grant Aventurine his space, although every fiber of his being just wants to wrap Aventurine in a hug as tight as possible. He fights it. “Why?” Ratio echoes, and Aventurine nods. “Because,” he says slowly, “Although this was unexpected, I am in love with you.”

Aventurine shakes his head, as if to ward Ratio’s words. His efforts are futile. “You can’t,” he spits out, “Not me.”

“And why not you?” Ratio raises a brow, as infuriating as ever. Aventurine wants to hit him. How is the damned man so calm?

“Because,” Aventurine splutters. This whole thing is ridiculous, surely Ratio can see that. “I have nothing to offer you!” He explodes and silence settles over them, suffocating and heavy. “You don’t care about wealth, you don’t care about climbing the ranks of the IPC. I’m only worth sixty tambas. What can I give you in return for your love? What do you benefit from loving me?” He deflates, having calmed down slightly. His chest huffs with the force of his answer.

Ratio moves then, and Aventurine backs away, but there’s nowhere for him to go. Ratio leans over him, crowding him against the headboard of the bed. Aventurine averts his eyes. Ratio does not press closer. “You think you have nothing to offer me?” Ratio’s voice is low. “It’s a good thing I never wanted a transactional relationship in the first place.”

Aventurine opens his mouth to rebuke him, but Ratio cuts him off.

“Not everything in life has to be a transaction,” the Doctor murmurs, “I know you think people have value only when they benefit others in some way. I know you think the worth of someone is based on whatever they bring to the table. However,” he slowly raises a hand to cup Aventurine’s cheek, tilting his face. Ratio meets Aventurine’s eyes fully. “It’s simply not true. You are more than those sixty tambas. If you truly want to know what you can offer me,” Ratio takes in a breath, “Companionship for one. Your warmth. Your touch. The way you so fiercely protect innocent people without a single regard for yourself.” Aventurine squeezes his eyes shut, but Ratio continues. “Contrary to popular belief, the life of a scholar is rather lonely. I have grown rather accustomed to you barging into my office without prior notice at odd times of the day. You have become an integral part of my life. Truly indispensable.”

Aventurine wants to believe in those words. But he shouldn’t. He can’t. “I’m not a good person, Doc, you-you deserve someone better.”

“I don’t want anyone else. I want you.” The firm conviction makes tears well up in Aventurine’s eyes again.

“You’re making a poor choice,” Aventurine whispers.

“Then so be it.”

“Ratio,” Aventurine grits his teeth, “I sleep with other clients. I’m a swindler. A gambler, all of the things you turn your nose up at. People already talk about how I’m ruining your reputation!”

“While I disapprove of your…business methods, I simply do not care about my so-called reputation. There will always be people who talk. What the topics of their conversations matter not to me. And while I cannot stop your habit of betting on your life, I will be here for you when you need me most. There are things in this world worth living for, people who care about you and not just using you as a means for their personal gain. You deserve happiness, Aventurine. Sometimes, you don’t need to protect anyone else except for yourself. You should start living for yourself.” Ratio pauses to peer at Aventurine, carmine eyes shining earnestly. “Didn’t you receive my message in Penacony?”

Do stay alive. I wish you the best of luck.

That little scroll with the handwritten note inside has now become one of Aventurine’s most treasured possessions. Message received.

Aventurine’s lips quiver, “Ratio,” he stutters, “You are so incredibly naïve sometimes.”

The corner of Ratio’s mouth quirks. “Am I really? I simply want you to love yourself as much as I do. You want me? Well, now you have me.”

“That’s-that’s not what I meant!” Color suffuses Aventurine’s cheeks.

“You weren’t clear in your conditions, Gambler,” Ratio is smiling. The bastard is enjoying this.

Well played, Doctor.

“Your…message was the only thing that gave me hope,” Aventurine confesses quietly, “Everyone that I know either wants me dead or gone. You are the only person who told me to stay alive. I…well…it might take some time, but I want to try…to live for myself.”

A brilliant smile spreads across Ratio’s face. It leaves Aventurine breathless. “I’m a very patient person. We can figure it out together.” Ratio brings their faces together. Red-orange gazes smolders into pink and blue ones.

Dear sister, I’ve seen the dawn. And it’s truly as beautiful as you described.

Aventurine does not want to look away. Neither, it seems, does Ratio. “I love you, Aventurine,” Ratio murmurs in the Sigonian language. His accent is a little thick, but Aventurine understood him all the same. They all had their Synesthesia Beacons; learning languages had become entirely redundant. Aventurine realizes that Ratio must’ve learned it for him.

“Kakavasha,” Aventurine blurts out. Ratio raises a brow at him questioningly. “My…real name…” The blond explains softly. “Not many people know it…”

Take this as a sign of my trust, Doctor.

“Kakavasha,” Ratio utters with reverence, “I love you.”

A little sob leaves his mouth as Aventurine presses their lips together, hoping to convene the message he couldn’t say. It would take Aventurine some time, but he’s sure he would get there, replying to Ratio with the words he can’t say now.

“Remember that you have to live, Kakavasha. Live for yourself,” Ratio whispers against Aventurine’s lips. “I’ll be here for you, every step of the way.”

Aventurine’s fingers claw weakly against Ratio’s chest as the Doctor presses close to him. His lips respond with equal fervor.

Alright.

It’s a silent promise.

FIN.

If they call me a slut You know it might be worth it for once And if I'm gonna be drunk Might as well be drunk in love

✤ —– ٠ ♠ ٠ —– ✤

“Childe!” You gasp in panic when you feel searing heat throughout his entire body. From the looks of it, he was running a fever. And a high one at that. “What troubles have you gotten into?” The words slip unannounced out of your mouth. You frown at yourself, but even you couldn’t leave him out in the rain. Struggling under his weight, you manage to unlock your door and drag his limp body over to the couch. You waste no time taking off his gray jacket and unbuttoning his shirt to assess his injuries. Scrutinizing eyes rake over countless scars across the expanse of his chest and stomach before they settle on the culprit, and you curse softly to yourself. There is a deep gash on his abdomen, putrid purple smoke oozing slowly from within. It’s undoubtedly the work of a Rifthound. “Why were you in Inazuma?” You scold the silent man, leaning back on your heels to wrack your brain. You had no medicine for treating Rifthound wounds in your house. That much, you knew. There was no other option, you had to get to Bubu Pharmacy for the herbs that could stave off Rifthound poison. Hesitatingly, you glance down at the russet haired man, unconscious on your couch. Bubu Pharmacy, thankfully, wasn’t far from your humble abode. Surely he would be fine for a few minutes? You reason to yourself as you stand up with a sigh. He’s a Harbinger, after all. A voice pipes up, and you’re reminded of a hydro blade aimed at your throat, crackling lightning hurling towards your head.

I wonder where the love goes When pleasure turns to pain When the memories fade away Can you tell me what happens?

You shake your head, trying to rid yourself of the memory as you start towards the door. A last look at the sleeping soldier before the door closes behind you with a soft snap. What matters now is he’s hurt, and you have to heal him. You tell yourself as you set off in the rain. It’s not the time to dwell in memories.

The trek to Bubu Pharmacy did not take long and soon enough, Herbalist Gui hands you a paper wrapped package with the necessary herbs needed to make a salve for Rifthound poison. Thanking the herbalist, you take care to tuck the herbs on your person as you prepare to set off.

“Hm, so it was Rifthounds,” a deep voice, rich in timber, rumbles above your head and you look up to see Zhongli holding an umbrella out for you. “Allow me to escort you home,” he invites with a wave of his hand.

“Zhongli,” you nod in greeting as you accept his offer. Zhongli follows you, his steps in tandem with yours, both of you navigating through the once bustling streets of Liyue. The rain is coming down harder and no sane Liyuean would be caught out and about.

“The rascal did come to see you,” Zhongli muses, a chuckle emerges. “I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“You...knew?” You pause to look at the ex-Archon, who simply nods at your question.

“Childe came to see me mere moments before I saw you at Bubu Pharmacy. I had presumed he was going to go find you. I told him to get his wound taken care of first. But it seems that he went against my better judgement.” The former God smiles ruefully. “I am surprised, however, that you came alone. Surely, he would’ve asked to come along.”

Exhaling slowly, you tell the funeral parlor consultant that the Harbinger is currently unconscious. The man nods sagely beside you. The two of you start on the little mountain path that leads out of Liyue. “Why would he come to see me?” The question is asked, more to yourself. You meant it to be rhetorical, but Zhongli answers you anyway.

“Why indeed?” He echoes you, helping you up the stone steps. “You should ask him. Why would he, whilst hurt and injured, rush from Inazuma in search of you? Why would he refuse to get his wounds treated beforehand, only to faint in front of you? You know him well. Tartaglia, the Eleventh of the Fatui Harbingers, would never allow anyone to see him in this weak state, and yet-” Zhongli trails off to look at you, his gaze unwavering and knowing. He didn’t need to finish speaking. The implication of his words hangs low in the air, and you swallow hard.

“We’re enemies,” the conviction in your voice is weak. “We have nothing to do with each other anymore.” Zhongli’s brow raises, challenging. “I-I just don’t want him to die on my doorstep, that’s it.” You rush before he can speak. You are sure that you are the only one who believes the words, and even then, you’re not quite sure you believe even yourself.

There is a small smile playing at the edge of former Archon’s mouth. “Hm,” he acquiesces gently, stooping low to fit under the wooden beam that hangs in front of your door. “He talks a lot about you,” the sudden admission makes you falter, trembling hand unable to fit the key into the lock. “Well, he wants to talk about you,” Zhongli corrects himself with a soft sigh. “Every time he stops himself. I see it in his eyes. Whenever we would have our chats…he’s bursting to ask me about you.”

You stare down at your shaking hand. “I wasn’t aware the two of you kept contact after…” your voice trails off, an inescapable bitterness seeping into your words.

The God of Geo hums, “I consider Childe a good friend. I treasure our conversations.”

More like his mora, you add, a bit vitriolic, in your mind, but you offer Zhongli a blank, polite smile.

The next thing Zhongli says knocks the wind out of you, “The contract I forged was between the Tsarista and I. Not with Childe. The contract made was decided a very long time-”

“Stop,” you cut him off, feeling faint. You’re supposed to be enemies. Childe betrayed you. You got betrayed. He used you to follow the orders of the Tsaritsa, you chant in your head. You’re supposed to be enemies.

You knew you were looking for something, no-someone to blame. And if Childe didn’t betray you… Your teeth ground together.

But he did. He kept secrets from you. He tried to kill you. He betrayed you.

“My apologies,” the former Archon murmurs softly, sensing your inner turmoil. He watches as you compose yourself and finally insert the key into the lock. “It’s just-” Zhongli stops himself. Golden eyes that held centuries worth of wisdom crinkle into a small smile, surveying you. You feel seen. Your eyes skip away from his. “Patch him up nicely, won’t you? I’d miss my conversation companion dearly if he dies.”

“Sure…” your voice is hoarse. “I’ll dump him on your doorstep afterwards.”

Zhongli nods sagely, “Much appreciated. Then I shall take my leave. Have a good night.”

━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━

“That’s why I love you!” An exhilarated laugh bursts from his throat, as he sprawls, breathless on the ground, hydro blades dissipating. You stutter to a halt, staring hard at him. You stand over him, the tip of your sword shakes slightly above his throat before it clatters on the ground next to him. He stills once he realizes what he said, mirth quickly disappearing in a slight panic. The two of you stare at each other in shock and you wait, not letting a single breath out. You expect him to refute, to say it was a joke, to laugh it off, but he does nothing of the sort as light-pink colors his cheeks. You think to yourself, had the situation been different, you would’ve teased him about the way the Harbinger looks. He was supposed to be the vanguard of the Tsaritsa, and yet he lays before you, nervous. Nervous at the thought that you, could reject him. Tartaglia, battle hungry warrior, nervous. Tartaglia, whom you’ve just defeated mere seconds ago. Tartaglia, who looks way too happy for someone who just got bested in battle. Tartaglia, who just confessed he loves you.

“…Childe?” A hoarse echo of his name escapes your lips. You’re supposed to be drinking in your victory over your practice duel, supposed to be pestering him to pay for all your meals in the next week as is customary when one wins a duel against the Harbinger.

“I’m not going to take it back, Comrade,” Azure eyes glance up at yours before quickly darting away, “I…didn’t mean to confess like this,” he laughs nervously, “…But my feelings for you are sincere.”

You throw yourself down with a huff next to him. “So,” you drawl, and he hears the laughter in your voice. You’re beaming at him. “You love me, huh?”

He hums in agreement, still red in the face, “Absolutely, Comrade, you held a sword to my throat. That’s true love in my book.”

You roll over to clamber on top of him. His hands settling to grasp your hips naturally, as if they belonged there. This kind of physical touch was natural between the two of you. “I’ve been told I’m very lovable,” you start conspiratorially.

Childe is looking at you and he’s smiling, “I can see that,” his words are hushed. You lean down closer to him, and you can see the bobble of his Adam’s apple as he swallows.

“Childe. Tartaglia,” you begin slowly, “Ajax…” you whisper his real name, and his hands tighten on your hips. “I am going to kiss you now.”

He’s grinning as the two of you get closer. You can hear his heart drumming a frantic beat. It matches yours. “Thank Archons, are you sure I lost our duel?”

Laughter flows unrestrained when your lips meet his.

That had been the first time you swore you saw a light shining within those deadened pupils. The very same eyes that had witnessed countless horrors in the abyss, the very same that had turned a frightened fourteen-year-old boy into a bloodthirsty warrior, adrenaline fueling his veins, the penchant to fight bubbling below the surface. And you’ve only witnessed that look when he’s looking at you.

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Idly, you wonder to yourself, if that moment was fake. After all, good actors never break character. You can’t help your thoughts, but you grit your teeth as you wring out another cool rag, moving to switch the one on his forehead. You lift the bundle of bandages and herbs as you check his wound, making a soft pleased sound when you no longer can see the purple smoke steaming. Sitting back on your heels with a sigh, as you let your eyes roam over his sleeping figure. Childe sleeps, unaware of his audience. His eyelashes flutter softly with each breath, and you allow yourself to admire each little freckle that dots his face and chest.

Maybe I'm the one that we should blame For never thinking we'd end up this way I don't need answers I need you to stay

“What am I doing?” The question is hushed, depraved. You sigh softly and you move to stand up when a warm hand wraps loosely around your wrist.

“Stay…” Childe whispers hoarsely, eyes still closed. “Don’t go…”

It’s the fever talking, you try to reason with yourself. He’s delirious.

The next word is what makes you utter defeat.

“…Please…”

Your resolve crumbles like the sandcastles you and Childe built so long ago, washing away from the waves as you settle back down on the floor, gazing up at the sleeping figure. Childe’s fingers trail down your hand and grasps yours, interjecting his fingers between the slots of yours.

It’s muscle memory, you try to ignore the sudden spike of your beating heart. But you were fighting a losing battle, and you knew it.

“…Stay…” he mumbles, turning ever so slightly towards you. You resign yourself to your fate, resting your cheek against the sofa, intent to study his features. It’s times like this that you are reminded of the way you would admire his sleeping face on the rare occasions in which you awoke first. Childe would always wake before you, so the moments where you can look down on his sleeping face were fleeting at best.

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“Enjoying the view?” Childe murmurs sleepily and you startle, hastily lifting your finger where it had been tracing indecipherable shapes on his cheek.

You’re about to refute when he yawns and opens his eyes fully to meet yours, cupping his hand against your runaway hand, trapping it close to his cheek. “Hi,” he smiles, eyes crinkling softly at the corners as he nuzzles into your palm. Like a cat, you think, allowing him to do so. Childe turns his head and presses a kiss to the ring glinting on your pinky. It sends a tingle through your body, warm and pleasant. An indescribable feeling wells up inside you, but you don’t mind it.

I love you, you want to say.

“Hi,” you reply instead, “Sleep well?” You think he already knows the words you wanted to say. How could he not, with the way he looks upon you, like you’re the sun and the stars and the only light in his life? Surely he knows. He must.

Childe nods, sleep still etched in the lines of his face. “Were you writing something?” He’s smiling roguishly, the sight never fails to make your heart race and you crack a small grin.

“Yeah,” you admit, cheeks coloring gently, admitting defeat. Your lips curl in amusement.

The russet-haired male raises an eyebrow, silently questioning as he continues to gaze at you, the fondness in his eyes is innumerable.

You gently remove your hand from his grasp and place it back onto his cheek. “M-I-N-E,” you spell out, mapping out the curves of each letter on his cheek. “Mine,” you breathe out with finality, settling back on your heels as you await his judgement.

A grin unfurls and you think to yourself that there is finally a light that shines within those azure pupils. It’s a sight you knew you’d treasure forever. He reaches up for you then and you meet him halfway. “Yours,” he murmurs a promise, so sure you had no choice but to believe in it. “I’m yours,” he says again when his lips finally meet yours.

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Please don't let this love die young If I'm gonna lose someone Don't let it be you

You blink. Instead of the morning light throwing sunbeams across Childe’s face, you’re met with the dark shadows of candlelight. You cast another glance at your unconscious patient and can’t help but think of those times when the two of you whispered honeyed promises to each other. Unconsciously, your gaze flits to his gloved hand and your throat tightens. There is a silver band on his pinky finger. Why does he still wear it? You ask yourself. Wasn’t our relationship a front for him to carry out the Tsaritsa’s plans? Your gaze wanders to your own hand where his fingers are still wrapped tightly. The line on your finger is still there, shades lighter than the rest of your skin, where it was once covered by a similar band to Childe. What does it mean? You want someone to answer these burning questions, but internally, you think you should already know the answers.

Maybe…Maybe… Poisonous thoughts whispers traitorously along your spine, breathing out small flickers of hope.

You had promised him that the next time the two of you met, you would meet each other as foes rather than lovers.

Enemies don’t let each other sleep on their couches, a voice chimes in your head, they certainly don’t patch up huge wounds on each other and save them from potential death.

“Shut up,” you exhale a sigh. Setting your head against the rough fabric of the couch, swirling thoughts of old makes your head spin. You watch Childe’s chest rise and fall steadily. It hits you when you realize how vulnerable a position he is in. You could strike him dead. You were supposed to be enemies. And yet, here you sit, letting your hand be held by the one who you’re supposed to cross blades with.

“Tartaglia, the Eleventh of the Fatui Harbingers, would never allow anyone to see him in this weak state…” the ghost of Zhongli’s previous words dances down your spine. Your mouth sets in a thin line. Your thoughts betray you yet again, forcing you to reminisce of the memories that plagued you ever since you split. Ever since, Childe stood forlorn in front of you as you hurled a silver ring at him.

What if he keeps the promise? A tiny voice speaks up, a tiny light of hope. Why else would he still wear the ring?

Your memories pull up a russet-haired little boy, a striking resemblance to his big brother, smiling at you as he divulged with you a sacred chant, a Snezhnayan nursery rhyme, a pinky promise.

“My big brother is the best! He always keeps his promises!” He beams at you, the smile on his face stretches from ear to ear. “He always brings me the best toys!”

And you think of the promise uttered under the moonlight, with the stars as the witness.

“I promise, I promise I’ll take you to Snezhnaya, to meet my family.”

Those words murmured so fervently against the silver of the rings marked a vow. It went beyond the simple notion of visiting the frost fallen country. It was a promise that the both of you understood to be something that was supposed to last. In any other cultures, it would have acted as an engagement.

A tear traces its way down your cheek. The sting of the betrayal is still as fresh as ever even after all this time. But those feelings that you buried so deep within erupt, sparking tiny bursts of fires. They alight together, bringing with them the warm sensation of all the memories you had spent with him. Careless, carefree, no Gnosis, just a couple in love. Love. You were lovers. A quiet sob breaks from your throat. As hard as you had tried, you were still, undeniably in love with this man who had held a blade to your throat. You knew within your heart, the man who tried to drown Liyue took no pleasure in the act. It was a means to enact the Tsarista’s plans. Though he yearns for battle, there were sides you had been privy to witness that no one has ever seen. The doting big brother who would rather put himself in danger to protect an innocent child’s dream. The filial son who brought his family a good life. The gentle mischievous lover who alighted your veins and molded himself to your core. And you knew no one would ever set your heart aflame as he had.

Exhaustion catches up to you, the lateness of the night determined by the tiny stub of candle still burning fiercely away. You feel the tendrils of sleep prick at your eyes, and you unwillingly succumb, memories of him accompanying you to dreamland.

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In my dreams we're growing older But I wake up to the truth That I'm scared we're gonna lose Tell me it won't happen

Childe wakes with a start, looking around wildly before his senses alert him he was not in danger. The pink glow from the window tells him that dawn is approaching. Gingerly, he sits up with a groan, wincing at the flash of pain from the movement. He quickly notes the neatly wrapped bandages on his chest. Childe raises a hand to his temples but is stopped by a sudden weight and he peers over to see you kneeling on the floor, head leaning against the sofa, your hand still in his grasp.

The Harbinger blinks slowly as he tries to make sense of the events. The last thing he remembers is the rain and the complicated expression on your face as you gaze up at him. Childe swallows and deduces that he must’ve passed out after that. Dammit, he curses internally. He wasn’t supposed to come see you and he certainly wasn’t supposed to be lying on your couch. Using his free hand, he examines the bandages. It was undoubtedly your work. No one else would be bothered to wrap wounds with such patience and precision after all. Why did you take him in and patch him up, instead of leaving him at your doorstep? He wonders. The answer to that was obvious. It’s your very nature that you try to help everyone you come across, friend or foe be damned. Childe swallows hard and glances at you again. Did you over exhaust yourself taking care of him? The floor couldn’t be comfortable, he thinks to himself as he swings his legs over the edge of the couch. He carefully untangles his hand from yours and he stands shakily, breaths coming out slightly labored, but he ignores that in favor of reaching for you. Bile rises in his throat when he notices dried tear tracks down your cheeks and his chest twists unpleasantly. Did he cause that?

What was the reason for your tears? He couldn’t help but wonder.

“I’m sorry…” he whispers an apology as he hoists you up. You don’t stir and he places you gently on the couch. A hand hovers above your cheek hesitatingly, but Childe retracts his fingers with a sigh. He had no right to do that anymore. He is no longer the man who can wipe away your tears for you, especially when he is the cause of them.

A quiet sigh escapes your mouth as you slumber, your brows scrunch up, as if experiencing something unpleasant. Before he even realizes it, his hand is cupping your cheek tenderly. Even in your unconscious, you seek his warmth, nuzzling into his palm.

“Starlight…” your past endearment slips out, unbidden. “Do you invite all your enemies into your house like this?” There’s no ounce of derision, only a fond helplessness heavy in Childe’s voice. His thumb trace gently on your cheek. “You were so determined in calling me your foe and yet you drag me in and patched me up.”

In the faint light of the morning sun, a man confesses quietly to his sleeping lover.

“You have always been the better half of me…”

Childe sighs. He should go before you wake. He’s overstayed his welcome. After all, what kind of enemies spend the night with each other? Unwillingly, he parts from you and you frown.

“I’m sorry,” He murmurs another apology. It seems that all he ever does is apologize. He hunts around your house quietly for a blanket, draping it over you, before gazing down at you one last time. He commits the image of you slumbering to memory. It should be enough for him. After all, he no longer has the privilege of looking at you with the gaze of a lover. Childe stands up noiselessly. It’s time for him to leave. He makes his way to the door, before stopping slightly and pulls a letter from his pocket. The man leaves it on the table and places a silver ring on top. With one last glance at you, he exits, taking great care to shut the door as gently as he can. And just like that, the Harbinger vanishes into the soft morning light.

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So before it's really over Can we have a little faith Baby say it ain't too late It's all that I'm asking

Sunlight is hitting your face. You squint, annoyed and confused as to why sunbeams are blinding you. Last you recall, your bedroom did not face the window. So then why? Grumbling, you open your eyes as you stretch. You freeze when your legs fall off the edge of the couch and you realize you are in your living room. There is a blanket wrapped around you.

“What-” You shoot up as the sudden realization hits. Childe came to see you last night. Childe was hurt. Childe was here.

“Childe?” Warily, you look around. There were the medical supplies on the ground next to you, the very ones you had used to nurse Childe’s wounds, but there was no sign of the russet-haired man anywhere. You frown. He had been in bad condition last night, surely he couldn’t have healed that quickly? Your teeth sink into your lips. “Why should I worry about him?” With a sigh, you stand up and start to get ready for your day, trying to put the thoughts of the Harbinger away.

It doesn’t take you long to spot the letter sitting on your table.

To my dearest enemy,

How have your travels been? Have you been enjoying your adventures?

Those are all the words I wanted to say, but no longer hold the privilege of asking, as you are more than happy to call us enemies. It was my fault, I admit. But on the idle days when I am not tracking the whereabouts of my colleagues, I often find myself and my thoughts drifting to you. Please forgive my impertinence, my dear Comrade. Someone like you is rather hard to forget, after all.

I wanted to take this opportunity to formally apologize to you. Whether you’ll hear me out or not, I’ll leave that up to you. Just allowing me the chance to get it off my chest, is one I would be forever indebted to.

It’s true I was after Rex Lapis’ Gnosis. It’s true I betrayed your trust. But this is where all the truths end. My mission was to obtain the Gnosis. But as you know, both you and I were unaware of the plot behind the scenes, in which Rex Lapis already promised his Gnosis to the Tsarista via a contract. But my mission was to obtain the Gnosis. Whatever happened along the way was not dictated by Her Royal Highness, the Tsarista. And yes, that includes, naturally, us. You were someone I greatly enjoyed sparring with. I spoke the truth when I told Teucer that if I would travel the world with you if I could leave my job behind. Had I not blurted my confession that fateful day when you beat me…perhaps I would still be holding onto these sacred feelings to myself.

I’ll tell you, dearest Comrade, you were never my mission. You could never be my mission. You are the brightest star in the sky, the one I trust the most, the better half of me. My missive was never you, but I am forever grateful to have met you, to have crossed blades with you. I am forever honored to have loved you.

My dearest Starlight, if you’re still reading this letter (and I thank you), everything that I have felt for you, every one of my actions towards you, were genuinely me. You asked who was the person who stood in front of you. I will answer you now. I am just Ajax, a simple man who dreams of being an adventurer and had the greatest honor of being able to love you. I made you a promise. I have always kept my promises. I’d hate the first one I’d break be to you. The ring is yours. I am returning it to its rightful owner. Allow me to fulfill my promises to you. When the world falls at my feet, there is no one else I want by my side than you.

If you still wish to view us as enemies, then I thank you for the time we spent. They truly were the greatest moments of my life. But…if you choose to believe me, I’ll be waiting for you. You know where I’ll be.

I always keep my promises, Starlight. Pinky promise.

I love you.

Yours,

Ajax

You swallow hard, tears threatening to spill over as you clutch Childe’s letter. The contents repeat themselves in your head. You were never my mission. You are the brightest star. I always keep my promises. I love you.

The Cryo Archon had already obtained the Gnosis. There was no reason for Childe to lie to you. Your relationship was not his mission. His feelings were not an act.

You could never be my mission.

My missive was never you.

And deep in your heart, you knew his words to be true. Maybe you’ve always known. But that sliver of doubt had kept you wary, made you cautious.

You were never my mission.

Slowly and surely, you grasp the silver ring and carefully, you slip it onto your pinky finger, where it sits, still the perfect size. You walk numbly to your door, open it slowly, and you step outside.

I’ll be waiting. You know where to find me.

I love you

Please don't let this love die young If I'm gonna love someone Then let it be you

FIN.

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