between | the | lines

I don't know what to do with myself. I couldn't sleep so I decided to study the one book I kept from college. Ironically it's Anatomy & Physiology.

I'm wondering why I kept it. I'm wondering why the one person who was my anchor during my first flight out of reality is dead. I'm wondering if you somehow knew what was coming..You built a family, you built a home, you built a business. Did the labor of building kill you? Or was it your destiny to only get to 39 on the clock? Is that why you paid thousands of dollars to bring a child into the world? So we'd have a piece of you when you left?

I'm wondering why - out of alllll the college books I kept, I kept this one. about the body. this host my soul is trapped in.. I watched yours kill you..I watched everything that was important to you become dust in the wind..

Somewhere, today

Someone is makin love by choice

While another has no voice to choose

Somewhere, today

One man is losing all he owns

While the other sits lonely on his thrown

somewhere, today

She’s losing to a winner

Who already has 

plans for dinner

Next thursday at seven

While She can’t even 

recall the last time she ate

I hate that there isn’t a day

Where everything goes

Everyone's way is treason

Against someone else’s reason

To live…

Somewhere, today

Someone sits still for the sting & the thrill

of making their skin a work of art

While another is restrained & in pain

at the hand of someone who has no heart 

Somewhere, today

A women is locked in a room

for having an imaginary friend

While the other draws crowds

to predict the unseen end

Somewhere, today

He’s enjoying the glimmer

Shining off the sun set sea

While the other wishes

That same shimmer

Was free for his 

Eyes that cannot see 

How can it be

that there isn’t a day

Where everything goes

Everyone's way is treason

Against someone else’s reason

To give a fuck

The list goes on & on in my mind

& all I find is another reason to 

Despise the grind that keeps 

Us filling our cup with 

Someone else’s luck 

cause you told me what you saw

so forgive me for hearing the truth

forgive me for believing you

forgot there’d ever be a reason not to

i called your bluff

i knew there wasn’t enough

mutual under

standing in the parking lot

giving back all your stuff

we traded keys with evils ease

the open doors were just a tease

oh please tell me does that pride

taste as good as me

she asked you to give me some space

guess you didn’t trust her place

i may be bi polar but i only have one face

my eyes never lied babe

they rolled somewhere else

because tides cannot hide

they have all and none of the control

does part of you still look a like a light

the sun could never shine as bright

as the night we first shared time

it was right

which means it’s still right

because every story

demands the end glory

even finding something wrong

will never change the notes of a

song that sang something real

that taught us how

and what

and why we feel

anything is better than this

your blocking every miss

so i clench one fist

to hold the future

while the other has to

let go to heal every single suture

why do you run like you’re running out of time, what would make you wait for it?

are you still asking truman what’s up

do you still feel like human just isn’t enough

can you still look a around and see the sounds that aren’t there -

is your soul in despair or under repair maybe you thought your decision was fair

but ask the air that holds my lungs hostage

when i think about the good bye i never got

could you have given just one more thought

before you made you make me disappear

you’re not a magician

the curse was just your tradition

i wrote it once

i’ll say it again

i think heaven

is on the other

side of one

more chance

you literally said

that i was quick HA

that i could keep up

it wasn’t a trick

you saw me through my eyes

And maybe it’s lucky for you,

sure it was a dream - still I woke feeling like

I did something right

she told me it was good to have me back

like the lack of my presence actually

made a difference

I think that's all we really want

significance

it seeks and finds itself

staring at a glassless mirror

windows don't make things clear

they just show you what's there

and you're still there when I blink

so what exactly is my soul supposed to think

I held your face in my hands last night

there’s a question on my mind 

& no, it’s not the kind 

I can answer on my own

some wait for a sign 

or all the stars to align

wish that I could call you on the phone

baby can you tell me if you want this

now that I know ignorance is bliss

I’m terrified to bring you here

with all the darkness, hate & fear

will my love be enough for you my dear?

the first time I felt pain

& knew I had a brain

the seed of self was sown

life is like a game

no two days are the same

& certain things can never be known

existence doesn’t just begin

there is no sign up sheet

if I decide the where & when