sage

VC - The visit card in the Matrix of Destiny is your primary starting energy and the calling card of your personality. It shows how others perceive you upon first meeting, your natural style of self-expression, and through what basic actions and qualities the world opens up its opportunities to you.

C - The center in the Matrix of Destiny is the main energy zone of the diagonal square. It symbolizes a person's essence, their inner core, and "soul." This is the core of the personality around which the rest of the interpretation is built, and the point where all the energies of fate converge.

KT - The karmic tail in the Matrix of Destiny consists of three energies located at the lowest point of the chart. They point to unresolved tasks, mistakes from past incarnations, and patterns that keep repeating in your current life.

ER

VC - THE LOVERS (6): Fixation on beauty, an acute need for self-expression, "magnetism" and inexplicable attractiveness, conflict-proneness — all of this is about the "Lovers" arcana.

C - THE HANGED MAN (12): In the reversed position, this arcana symbolizes a futile sacrifice and a refusal to see the obvious. While the upright Hanged Man pauses in order to gain wisdom, the reversed Hanged Man represents a state of fixation—when a person is stuck in stagnation but fails to learn any lessons from it. The card points to excessive immersion in one's own suffering, spiritual egocentrism, and attempts to manipulate others through playing the victim. This is a phase where the pause has dragged on so long that it has begun to turn into degradation.

Adam's low self image issues began showing during elementary school. he would write the words "loser" and "ugly" on his hands, believed that "everyone else in the world deserved more than he did”, and would hit himself as punishment when he thought he made a mistake. He would sometimes come home with bruises that he would refuse to explain, and Nancy almost sued SHES because she thought he was being beaten by other students.

One of Adam's middle school creative writing assignments got rejected for depicting violence, and he was made to write a poem instead. this poem was apparently so beautiful that it made his father cry.

Adam wanted to be a hamster for halloween as a kid, but they couldn't find hamster costumes, so nancy made one for him.

Ryan remembers Adam being a lot closer with his father as a child. Adam and Peter would routinely spend hours playing with legos in the basement, making up stories and games.

Adam developed an interest in political and economic theory early on and used to be very talkative about these subjects, as Peter recalls: "man, that kid, you couldn't shut him up!"

When Adam was sixteen, he made a meme of Karl Marx (huge beard), Lenin (small beard), Stalin (mustache), and Mao (clean-shaven), with the caption, “Comrades, we must rectify the faltering facial hair standards.” and Peter thought it was so funny that he got T-shirts made of it.

Adam carried a black briefcase instead of a backpack in high school. To avoid other people in the halls he would either turn to walk in the opposite direction, or press up against the wall and clutch his briefcase to himself "like an 8 year old who refuses to give up his teddy bear". He was described by his highschool advisor as "a very scared young boy" and by classmates as being quiet but extremely intelligent, "he was the smartest person I knew, he was probably a genius"

Adam would constantly express his anxiety to his mother, that he felt frightened and unsafe both in public and at home. Nancy told psychiatrists that his fear was so severe that it physically paralyzed him. When being interviewed by psychiatric professionals, Adam sweat through his shirt and was holding back tears throughout the sessions.

One time Peter had mentioned to Nancy that Adam had stopped to tie his shoes when they had been hiking, and Nancy expressed surprise and bewilderment to this.

Adam would have panic attacks in middle school that were so severe that he had to be sent home. In high school these were replaced with "crises" he would have in class, where he would be overwhelmed with hopelessness, give up whatever he was doing and "shut down".

Adam's teacher were advised to keep an eye on him because he "couldn't feel pain", as Nancy had informed them that he might not stop doing something even if it's hurting him.

Peter recalls that as Adam entered his teenage years he would often state how much he missed being a little kid.

Adam routinely checked and compared weather conditions across the country, he wanted to live in Washington because it was the most overcast state and Nancy entertained the idea of them moving to seattle together.

After Adam stopped talking to Peter in 2010, whenever Nancy brought the topic of his father up to Adam he would begin crying profusely and withdraw.

Adam once told a friend that he was "bulky" when he was a child, and that he had fat cheeks, comparing himself to a hamster with its cheeks stuffed.

Adam would sometimes play ddr for up to 10 hours straight, where he would enter what was described as a "trance". Workers at the Danbury theater recall him being unresponsive at closing time, and they would have to unplug the machine in order to get him to stop.

Adam identified as asexual but denounced the label towards the end of his life, claiming to be confused about his sexuality. On a university application form asking for a gender marker, Adam wrote "I choose not to answer".

Adam wanted to own not only hamsters, but also mice. He specifically wanted a brown deer mouse and a white fancy mouse. He would routinely watch youtube videos pertaining to rodents and rodent care, and would give advice in the comments.

He's ugly and he scares me

Adam's low self image issues began showing during elementary school. he would write the words "loser" and "ugly" on his hands, believed that "everyone else in the world deserved more than he did”, and would hit himself as punishment when he thought he made a mistake. He would sometimes come home with bruises that he would refuse to explain, and Nancy almost sued SHES because she thought he was being beaten by other students.

One of Adam's middle school creative writing assignments got rejected for depicting violence, and he was made to write a poem instead. this poem was apparently so beautiful that it made his father cry.

Adam wanted to be a hamster for halloween as a kid, but they couldn't find hamster costumes, so nancy made one for him.

Ryan remembers Adam being a lot closer with his father as a child. Adam and Peter would routinely spend hours playing with legos in the basement, making up stories and games.

Adam developed an interest in political and economic theory early on and used to be very talkative about these subjects, as Peter recalls: "man, that kid, you couldn't shut him up!"

When Adam was sixteen, he made a meme of Karl Marx (huge beard), Lenin (small beard), Stalin (mustache), and Mao (clean-shaven), with the caption, “Comrades, we must rectify the faltering facial hair standards.” and Peter thought it was so funny that he got T-shirts made of it.

Adam carried a black briefcase instead of a backpack in high school. To avoid other people in the halls he would either turn to walk in the opposite direction, or press up against the wall and clutch his briefcase to himself "like an 8 year old who refuses to give up his teddy bear". He was described by his highschool advisor as "a very scared young boy" and by classmates as being quiet but extremely intelligent, "he was the smartest person I knew, he was probably a genius"

Adam would constantly express his anxiety to his mother, that he felt frightened and unsafe both in public and at home. Nancy told psychiatrists that his fear was so severe that it physically paralyzed him. When being interviewed by psychiatric professionals, Adam sweat through his shirt and was holding back tears throughout the sessions.

One time Peter had mentioned to Nancy that Adam had stopped to tie his shoes when they had been hiking, and Nancy expressed surprise and bewilderment to this.

Adam would have panic attacks in middle school that were so severe that he had to be sent home. In high school these were replaced with "crises" he would have in class, where he would be overwhelmed with hopelessness, give up whatever he was doing and "shut down".

Adam's teacher were advised to keep an eye on him because he "couldn't feel pain", as Nancy had informed them that he might not stop doing something even if it's hurting him.

Peter recalls that as Adam entered his teenage years he would often state how much he missed being a little kid.

Adam routinely checked and compared weather conditions across the country, he wanted to live in Washington because it was the most overcast state and Nancy entertained the idea of them moving to seattle together.

After Adam stopped talking to Peter in 2010, whenever Nancy brought the topic of his father up to Adam he would begin crying profusely and withdraw.

Adam once told a friend that he was "bulky" when he was a child, and that he had fat cheeks, comparing himself to a hamster with its cheeks stuffed.

Adam would sometimes play ddr for up to 10 hours straight, where he would enter what was described as a "trance". Workers at the Danbury theater recall him being unresponsive at closing time, and they would have to unplug the machine in order to get him to stop.

Adam identified as asexual but denounced the label towards the end of his life, claiming to be confused about his sexuality. On a university application form asking for a gender marker, Adam wrote "I choose not to answer".

Adam wanted to own not only hamsters, but also mice. He specifically wanted a brown deer mouse and a white fancy mouse. He would routinely watch youtube videos pertaining to rodents and rodent care, and would give advice in the comments.