"Neon Genesis Evangelion" and "The End of Evangelion"
If I am being honest, after I finished watching the required episodes of "Neon Genesis Evangelion" and the film "The End of Evangelion", I sat and thought to myself, "Wow, I am confused". At times, I completely understood it, but then something would happen, and I would become confused again. However, from my understanding, a young boy was recruited to pilot a massive, human-like weapon for the company NERV. With this weapon, he would fight the Angels. But throughout the series and film, we see Shinji fight deep emotional problems like depression and fear. In the lectures, we were taught about how this anime challenges the traditional characteristics of masculinity. In the article by Robert Heasley, he says people like Shinji, who disrupt both heterosexuality and hetero-masculinity, contribute to the expansion of the idea of being straight and masculine. The anime depicts how horrible it can be for males to "man up" when faced with trauma. However, unfortunately, questioning one's identity is a common occurrence, especially at a young age. But what caught my attention in this anime was the idea that the world was coming to an end. Everyone's souls were combined to escape all of the horrible things. The world's ending is known as the Human Instrumentality Project, which involves erasing any emotional pain. Shinji was even forced to kill the only person he felt like he connected with, but he revealed that he was an Angel. So Shinji had to choose between killing the only person who had shown him kindness or saving the world. The end of the world is not just the world coming to an end, but it symbolizes the collapse of oneself. Shinji is allowed to give up completely, but instead, he chooses to live in this painful life. This applies to us because so many people who struggle with depression have the same issue that they face.
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I was also in the cycle of understanding and then become confused again when something new was added to the plot. I also noticed that the anime has critiques on the concept of masculinity and how this idea is fluid based upon what an environment uplifts. Like you described, a lot of people would tell Shinji that he needs to be moreÂ
“Man-like” and that he needs to face his problems head on, rather than constantly running from them. Even when he is told this, there are still many times where he still views himself as weak and wants to avoid these issues, often pushing his mental health to the side (something society has told him to do time and time again). Though he disrupts the perceived understanding to masculinity to some, Shinji’s character offers new perspectives on the concept as a whole.Â
At the end of the anime, he does acknowledge the fact that he hates himself and feels worthless to those around him. Even though he does struggle with his self image and mental health, he ultimately chooses to go back to reality and humankind. This is interesting to me, as it also shows Shinji’s growth over the course of the series. He knows that going back to reality will bring back pain, lack of trust, and divisions between people, but he chooses to go back because he thinks this is the genuine reflection of humanity (and that his ideal society is simply “just a dream”— something that will not be able to actually happen in his world). In a way, this is him coming to terms that he is not perfect but there is always time to change or grow.

















