A Series Of Unfortunate Events

#this is both hilarious and not funny - @sigmastolen, right on the money

I’m sorry I’m just struck by how close to Spanish the Venetian accent is….

u ever a good person just to flex on ur father

Pardon my French, but you are being a douchebaguette

I think the most Gemini thing my dad has ever done is one year he threw himself a reverse surprise party for the sheer drama of it. What is a reverse surprise party? you may ask, well let me tell you. So he invites over all his friends and family and then in the middle of dinner he stands up and announces that it’s not a regular dinner, it is in fact, his birthday dinner (his exact words were “Surprise! …. it’s my Birthday”) cue everyone looking panicked, because oh god I don’t have a gift, I don’t even have a card, but my father, wine glass still in hand assures them not to worry and reveals a pile of presents he got for himself and wrapped for everyone to pick one and give it to him as their gift. And honestly? My father is such a legend.

isnt it messed up how westerners straight up thought gorillas were a mythological creature until the 18th century. like thats a pretty big and noticable critter to just. not notice and dismiss as folklore

Are you implying gorillas dont constantly toe the line between the mythical and real. Look at them, if someone told me there exists a man with arms twice as big as his legs and who can pull apart a full grown human like a twizzler i wouldnt believe you either

if i told you to go into the jungle where gorillas live you’d be able to find one pretty quick, but you wouldnt even look, because you’re afraid of learning the meaning of strength.

This response made me actually shiver im terrified

Our little league soccer team went undefeated when i was in 5th grade and it was largely in part to me having double the surface area of a normal 5th grader which gave me the ability to deflect balls that kids would intentionally kick at my face and body

Absolutely me