弱井トト子

Me: huh? Like pulling it too hard?

Todomatsu: no, I didn’t learn how to use my hands to do it til i was like 20 something?

Me: ….????

Todomatsu: oh, well, I used to rub myself against trees. Thats how i was taught by a cat

Me: …????? W-what…? Are you serious…??

Todomatsu: c’mon, its not that weird. Anyways i only do it 3x a day at the absolute most.

Me: thats still kinda a lot? How do you find the time or space?

Todomatsu: well, if I don’t do it that much I kind of get all pent up and aggressive

Me: but you always are pmsing ??

Todomatsu: yeah so imagine that but worse

Me: 😱

Todomatsu: its normal for guys, I promise. Anyways so I was starting to rip my dick and pants up bc bark is really rough, right? And it would take a while because it didnt feel very good but i was also getting off to the idea of getting caught

Me: so you just had. Like. A tree you would hump seven times a day?

Todomatsu: hehe yeah my first girlfriend 💖

Me: …. What does that make me?

Todomatsu: well, you definitely feel better than the tree, so its no competition

Me: there could have been competition?

Todomatsu: no, but if there was you’re really far ahead of the tree and neck and neck with my fleshlight

Me: 😱⁉️

Hi max! A cat canonically teaches him to jack iff using trees

Todomatsu: ehhh kids today are lucky. They can just get a phone and look at porn and masturbate at home, back when I was growing up we had to use trees and hope the neighborhood sex ed cat was around to explain to us what cumming was

me: huh?

todomatsu: you know